For many years I've been depressed and suicidal, and actually botched some suicide attempts

For many years I've been depressed and suicidal, and actually botched some suicide attempts.

But today something happened, I've realized that the root of my suffering is not achieving what I desire. Having relationships with other people, material wealth, the fancy job, having sex (which I've actually had before) and many more, these are things that don't actually make me happy, the society I live in conditioned me to desire these things, but desiring these things and not getting them causes me great suffering and frustration. Even not achieving suicide brought me despair, knowing that I will pussy out at the last minute, or that somehow I will botch my attempt.

I no longer have to keep being depressed and suicidal, or keep drinking and using drugs all day everyday to ease the pain and suffering, and most importantly, I no longer have to be enslaved to my worldly desires.

I realized I can get rid of want, I just don't know how to proceed from here. Centuries ago people like this ("robots" of today) were revered for their wisdom, people capable of living alone by themselves independently without being enslaved to desire. Now society just shuns this kind of people.

How do I proceed from here, do you recommend any reads?

Picture very related, how real enlightenment looks like, in my eyes.

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Fuck off, this isn't /adv/, if you want to blog post there are thousands of alternative methods. You aren't a wise sage born in the wrong century, you're just a loser.

I'm not looking for advice, isn't this the board closest to philosophy? Last time I checked it said "History & Humanities".

Did you even bother reading my post?

You should meditate every day and also to daily cardio exercise and lift weights. This will help you maintain the positive attitude. While you're exercising listen to audiobooks about Stoicism. "The Daily Stoic" is a good one.

This is a good start, get fit and strong while you aren't broke as fuck, it's a lot easier to do when you have money. It will be important for the next part, which is...

Learn to fulfill your basic needs, independently. If you're gonna let go of wordly desires you can't be dependent on a grocery store for your food, or sleeping in your own home every night. All that shit connects you to the world of people which is artificial and stupid.

Like you can still go have a burger and fries if you have cash and want a burger and fries, but you need to be able to make do without this societal comfort bubble if you're gonna say shucks to being a normie. Otherwise you'll just get shoehorned back into being a normie because you need money, peer approval, legal protection, and other stupid shit.

Check out this channel if you wanna live like a real goddamn wildman with nothing but rocks and sticks. youtube.com/channel/UCAL3JXZSzSm8AlZyD3nQdBA

>lift

I actually enjoy lifting, I used to play ameteur football, I was into powerlifting. Alcoholism and drug abuse took that away from me. I started lifting some months ago but I relapsed and stopped training, I'm starting Starting Strength again this week.

Today I realized I can still do a fuckton of pullups and dips with no troubles, like I could keep going indefinitely.

>While you're exercising listen to audiobooks about Stoicism. "The Daily Stoic" is a good one.
Thanks, I'll definitely check this out.

>Learn to fulfill your basic needs, independently. If you're gonna let go of wordly desires you can't be dependent on a grocery store for your food, or sleeping in your own home every night. All that shit connects you to the world of people which is artificial and stupid.

>Like you can still go have a burger and fries if you have cash and want a burger and fries, but you need to be able to make do without this societal comfort bubble if you're gonna say shucks to being a normie. Otherwise you'll just get shoehorned back into being a normie because you need money, peer approval, legal protection, and other stupid shit.

This is what troubles me right now, I feel like I hit a wall. I don't know how to let go off my "fancy" job or money or these worldly desires. I want to let go, and I think it's the path that my heart really wants, but I don't know how to. This looks impossible to me without monkhood or living in a monastery or something like that, but these could be misconceptions. I'll keep reading stuff and looking for answers.

>isn't this the board closest to philosophy?
No, that's

Hey man, it's hard being a jedi, but just imagine what living like that is like.

You don't have to leap off the cliff into an uncertain world, you can get by for now while building the skills and fortitude you'll need to finally let go. Once you're fully confident in yourself it might be an easier choice to make.

Physically take care of yourself but do it gradually, don't go from being a slob to having a bodybuilder's diet overnight. Put a premium on getting good sleep, proper hydration and adequate resting time inbetween exercise

It's much more important to stretch before your exercise and exercise at all then getting the exercises correct

Form is much more important than anything

Don't stress over dieting too much, like I said earlier do it gradually and most of it is self-evident shit you learned more or less in high school

Research different metaphysical systems and piece bits and pieces that you like together

Stay out of modern political discourse because it's all garbage anyway

>actually botched some suicide attempts
How do you botch a suicide attempt?

Tens of thousands of people every year die by accident without even trying, just going about their normal daily routine when death suddenly takes them. If you're actively trying to die, how can you not succeed?

>swallow pills but don't die
>hang yourself but the rope snaps or some other malfunction
>jump off something high and live
>cut yourself but don't bleed but fast enough to die

Stuff off the top of my head

This user () has a good point to make. I'll help you with what I have on my notes about Stoicism...

Stoicism

Early Stoa
>Zeno of Citium
>Chrysippus of Soli

Late Stoa
>Seneca the Younger
>Epictetus
>Marcus Aurelius

Notable Works:

On the Shortness of Life
-Seneca
youtu.be/ABRN0E_mI0U

The Meditations
-Marcus Aurelius
youtu.be/rqqjU7zCI10

The Echiridion of Epictetus
-Epictetus
youtu.be/aaFe3nGhdGI

The Physical Thesis
-Chrysippus

>I realized I can get rid of want

yeah dude just think your way out of hunger

almost all of human want/desire/need is based in biology

we have bodily needs - food water shelter
we have social needs - companionship, sense of belonging, self esteem
we have human needs - sense of meaning, purpose, etc

and when you get all of those, you are not delivered over to happiness, but rather boredom, which you need to deal with

Bruh post on Veeky Forums if you want philosophy recommendation. This board only features /pol/lite things nowadays

read this book

ftp.budaedu.org/ebooks/pdf/EN132.pdf

good luck

>How do I proceed from here, do you recommend any reads?
Thulean perspective outlook at life. Specifically where he mentions how you should need less things and be as self sufficient as you can.

>having sex (which I've actually had before)
You sounds like an insecure virgin tho

>The Meditations
>-Marcus Aurelius
Spot the brainlet

not the guy who posted this list but what's wrong with suggesting the meditations by marcus aurelius?

you're quite sure the brainlet isn't you?

Kek

>which I've actually had before
Virgin confirmed

That's nice. In a way, you discovered something that most people never will.

Epicureanism is also similar to what he wants.

Maslow is shit.

Read the Bhagavad Gita

Killyourself faggot

If you weren't a dumb cunt then you'd know that swallowing pills and cutting yourself is a retarded way to seppuku and literally never works. You want to die for sure? Go to some deep lake in the middle of the night, tie weights to your body and fall into it. Even if someone tries to help you, they won't be able to untie you, if you use locks for the weights and throw the key away as well.

If you don't like it here, just do like your "revered robots of the past" and go live in a forest/mountain in hermitage instead of being a broken junkie.

ok

All "depression" can be cured with a hobby and/or a job. Maybe stop wallowing in adolescent self-pity.

Don't bother. He likes the drama of suicide but is too much of a pussy to do it.

Retarded tier parroted response, there are plenty of depressed people with jobs

Don't mean to rain on your parade, but the desire for resources, status and sex are in your blood. Unless youre some kind of misanthrope but theyre exceptions to the rule. I'm sort of an anti-cynic, but I still agree with the "living in accordance with nature" stuff. I think cynics have a very backwards idea of what nature is.

The desire for status isn't in his blood, it's the desire for social approval which isn't necessarily status

That's just shifting definitions around. What I mean by status is an influential/prestigious/respected position in the social hierarchy.

Not at all, that's not "natural", look at any primitive tribe and there is zero or next to zero hierarchy, what he needs is to fulfill his tribal need for companionship, that's the only thing which is engrained in our human nature, anything else is artificial

>look at any primitive tribe and there is zero or next to zero hierarchy
not exactly verifiable
maybe you could count africans or native americans but they all had chiefs and squabbled with each other.

Mostly because they do not love their jobs.

I'm surprised that a "History & Humanities" board has not suggested that OP study. A passion for literature and science is always a good remedy for meloncholy. Most people who complain about suicidal depression are in high school or college, and for them it's not too late to get serious about intellectual pursuits.

>not exactly verifiable

Yes it is, Pygmey were studied for a century and they had almost no hierarcy, same with current Amazonian tribes, Papuan hunter gatherers etc

> but they all had chiefs and squabbled with each other.

Squabbling doesn't imply a hierarchy inside of the tribe, neither does the existence of an elder or a chief

You really think that hierarchy does not "naturally" exist? Even without riches or resources (like primitive tribes), there is always a smartest man, a strongest man, etc. These people naturally lead because they can lead the best.

>You really think that hierarchy does not "naturally" exist?

Yes it doesn't among most primitive tribes, hell it didn't exist even in primitive agriculturalists and in some other complex societies

> there is always a smartest man, a strongest man, etc

No, in many tribes men are equals

> These people naturally lead because they can lead the best.

Even if some tribes have a leader (not all of them) said leader doesn't have access to more resources (food, women) than other males in most cases

>in some tribes there is a hierarchy in some there isnt
okay? so why are you saying it's human nature to have 0 hierarchy? obviously it varies. To put it crudely, some humans seem to have a chimpish nature and others a bonoboish nature.

Yes and that's culture, this thing about greed being ingrained in his blood isn't true, we can reject greed for parsimony as well and that's as much in our blood as greed

>having sex (which I've actually had before
>