What is the proper way to wipe ones ass?

>not buying baby wipes
>[current year]

it's almost like you don't want a clean asshole

flush, then dip the toilet paper in the toilet water to flush out some of that shit

If in public, dry wipe best you can. Then gather a lot of toilet paper, dampen it and put soap on it. Go back to your stall then wipe back and forth. Leave clean.

If at home. Use soap and water +toilet paper.

I don't understand how people can just dry wipe and walk around all day with smears of shit still in their ass.

those are bad for toilets

There's flushable ones.. read the package

It's a lie.

Thanks will try this.
I hate it too.
Nothing worse than getting the swampass for a 80 minute class

It's also terrible for the environment and there's probably some sort of kike poison lingering in there.

I have been doing this too

I can't be the only person that dampens the toilet paper with my saliva then enters my own asshole with lubed up spit TP until there are no more shit marks, can I?

Dry wipe to a reasonable degree

Take x amount of toilet paper, fold into square about the size of a finger's digit.

Soak with warm water

Press into starfish

Dry off with more tp

Repeat as necessary

Really big on the spitting on the tp scene right now at work always works

Wipe generally first. Than really dig out the asshole. You will be surprisd how much shit comes out or is stuck there.

But when my diet is in check, i get these golden shits where i literally get no smear on the first wipe.

I take a ball of toilet paper. Put my leg on the toilet and wipe with alternating hands. After each sort of grind with the toilet paper, I clench it in my buttcheeks and usually flex in the mirror. Then once I get it reasonably clean or pretty clean dry wiping, I then take a smaller ball and wrap a baby wipe around it and then grind and clench. Do that till clean.

I use a lot of toilet paper and have to flush multiple times. Never had a skidmark. Sometimes I put my leg on the sink too if I really want to get in there.

I poop naked too

Fucking bravo, i do the same shit. Every single time. Imagine how many bitches don't do this. This shit is revolutionary. Never have to even question yourself smelling like shit.

Protip for public bathrooms.
Bring two soapy papers in with u. Wipe the toilet seat down with one because its the only real way to remove germs and wipe ur ass with the other.

If at home I just dry wipe a bit, get in the shower, squat down and blast my ass with the pressure washer setting on the shower head. You don't know how dirty your ass has been all your life until you start doing this.

baby wipes my dudes. that shit is fire family.

but most importantly, a high fiber diet rich in veggies gives me ACE shits that require little to no wiping. talking about 35g+ daily

get on my level. Best investment I ever made is a Toto washlet. Pooping in public where I have to use dry paper like a savage just doesn't feel clean anymore.

Same. I lift my junk out of the way and go in from the front, get all the shit from around my ass then diddle my ass to be thorough.

I stand up and face the toilet. I have no idea how people do it sitting down

Listed by cleanliness

Bidet
Wet wipes
And toilet paper if you're a dirty white nig

fucking creepos talkin bout how to wipe their shitholes wtf legit you fuckers have no better things to be doin right now then comparin how each other wipe your leftover bulkin dags from your rooty tooty godamn yall motherfuckers need jesus

You install this into your toilet

wipe your ass while sitting down.

I smear it on my tights, ball sack and ass cheeks to be alpha. When I go to lift at the gym, people always leave the equipment for me so I can use it, then if doing a super set they won't use it when I'm gone due to the smell+shit smears on the seat.

if you don't do this you are a beta fag and probably like cock in ass.

DAE pee in the sink here? i just find it much natural plus i can wash it with water afterwards.

So throw them away instead of flushing them

>leaving shit-stained baby wipes in your bin

Wiping your ass? That's nasty as fuck. It's not acceptable to wipe off any other part of your body with only paper when it's dirty, why is it okay for one of your bodyparts that is most prone to infections and inflammation?

my shower hose easily reaches the toilet so i just flush my ass with water until it's clean and dry it a bit paper afterwards. i fucking love it.

you hate swimming pass what?

eating them on a bulk is perfect because you don't waste a single calorie ( plus the calories from the wet one itself )

>so beta you're scared of toilets

Bidet master race

Good thread

youtube.com/watch?v=kt7NYT2aqKQ

too confusing

Swap ass you philistine

>throwing literal shit in your bin

3rd worlder detected

this, lmaoing at people wiping their fucking shit with paper

Front to back. Anyone who says any different has smelly taint.

Currently am right now

bloody affair somethimes not worth the risk imo

It's a lie but I don't give a fuck and neither should you, the environment can get dicked if the alternative is wiping with dry one ply paper and leaving shit behind.

Swap ass with who ?

You're a retard if you drag your shit through your taint.

Wait, have I been wiping my ass wrong this whole time?

>wrap shitload of tp around my fingers
>wipe once
>repeat with next wrap until clean

I tie the TP around my own penis and proceed to literally fuck myself until my asshole is clean.

Oh user you are a riot.
How long did it take you to come up with that one ?

Don't be that guy.

Put on rubber gloves. Lube up big time. Insert index and middle fingers 1 inch into anus. Apply light pressure to anal wall and complete one rotation around anal wall. Remove fingers. Dispose of glove. Using toilet paper, wipe starting with 1/4 inside anus until that is spotless, then moving to outer anal surface and wiping until spotless.

Remain seated.
Spread asscheeks.
Get 4 pieces of toilet paper.
Fold them into a single square.
Place it onto your anus.
Wipe.
Dispose by letting go of it.
Repeat if necessary.

Eat more fiber, drink more water. If you're doing it right, there should be no brown on the shit tickets, even on the first pass.

...

>not having a Japanese toilet that will spray and clean your ass for you

Come on guys it's 2016

Wipes until majority of the shit is gone. Then get 10 sheets of toilet paper and fold into 5 sheets then 2.5 then 1.25 sheets and then wipe until it's all gone.