Imagine having to be an alien and training
>Dude how do I get my forearm crystals to spike?
>How's my shoulder plates taper looking?
>Are my chest plates too far apart?
>How much minerals do I need daily for my shards to grow?
>tfw godly plate insertions
Other urls found in this thread:
Are you ok?
Having an exoskeleton armor would be sweet. Every year you would molt and grow a bigger more spiky and badass one as long as you keep making gains
Hey we're worried about you dude
why does that alien have NO BOOTY
>check the sweet forearm plates bruh
>tfw mental gains show through skull bones
>Leave your neck behind mode - galactic trap gains
>mirin glute dimples? u mirin
>mfw just shed this years exoskeleton and I am become soft fleshy blob
Surely there isnt a feel worse than this
>tfw earthlings laugh at my anus probe
it wous drop off with grwth?
>eating
>sleeping
>evolving
>How can I make my delt spikes come out more?
>Will my ab plates become visible when I lower my plasma level?
>U mirin forearm shards bruh?
there are xenomorphs posting ITT right now who have filaments shorter than 60 saygac
>filamentlets
>they will never learn
choose 2
>forgot change for the plasma dispenser
>Some ayy left backwash community antimatter tray
Will I ever make it?
>faglien claims 544 dhBara low bar crystal-extension
>he's on some shithole planet with low gravity
shake my fucking ventral nerve opening
>shake my fucking ventral nerve opening
kek
>mfw binged on 5 kGy of gamma rays again
S̘̳̺̜h͔͔i̱̼g̗̖͚̟͠g̗͚͓̻y͚̭̹ ̧̘͎̤Ḭ͘g̜ǵ̠̻̮̖͔y̴̟̪̭̝̹
>tfw your spawning pool matriarch keeps ruining your selective energy intake regime by leaving UVB pods laying around
just terminate my incarnation for this temporal cycle, brehs
>Do psychic dips
>Temporal lobe hurts
>Try physical dips
>Arms break
Physical lifting is a meme, don't fall for it my ayys.
>QT(C/D) in my local instance of reality
>send some gravity waves over asking how her day is going
>her processors skip
>she withdraws from my local instance
...
>later detect her in a alternate instance of reality where I have at least 35(mZe*kY/s)'s of processing power
>she's telling cool me about what a dweeb I am
>tfw
This thread just made my day, thanks
kek
The Locust. Most swole bastards to ever grace Serra.
guys is starting super strength a meme? or should I just do a extro split?
Neither. Do Xenomorph 1,000 repetitions.
>4 Quaizars C'mon!
superb post
...
Lelzies
Good thread
>be me
>just joined this gym in klepton3
>new to lifting
>minding my business doing some hypergravity squats
>see some douches from klepton5 come in
>leave literally for 32 time cycles to deposit some fluids in the recycler
>come back and those pentakleptonians are using the hyper gravity squat rack to do front claw raises
>"I...I was using that"
>fucktards start spitting their plasma all over me like they always do back in their planet
>have to go home to change my outfit or else everyone will think I discharged plasma on myself
>never going back to the gym
>bikleptonian uprising when?!?
>ywn have natural armor plating
why
>Be into serious lifting with fellow stoic ayy's
>Seed life in a galaxy so everyone may know gains
>Create a race of manlets to train in the gym with
>Give them time to reach maturation
>The lifting meme dies over time
>Everybody has cool bodysuits instead now
>Sleeping in my ship
>Fucking intruders out of nowhere
>The manlet race has returned, wants godly gains
>Wants more life
>Wants to know why they were created
>I don't even want to lift anymore
>Just want to be in my comfy bodysuit in my comfy ship
>mfw
I'm giving up on galactic philanthropy.
Be the shrike
/thread
>Be me
>be working out at the gym in sector 892
>see 2 lovely snake ayys come in
>been taking super ayy vitality
>see them coming over
>flex and show my exo crystals
>never notice me even with all my extreme workout skills
>sexy snake ayys leave
Why does nobody ever appreciate raw talent and exo muscle?
i like this thread.
keep going.
>that asshole who keeps shredding gym equipment
>tfw no matter how much you quadbell press you'll never have crystalline exo-skeleton ez mode
You exo-skellets will never know what its like to be a hard gainer
>be me
>Meet murk rippletuttts
>He talks to me about starting superstrength
>he tells me yzyy was a sloot and that she was just a bitch
>Just ignore him the rest of the mid-evening and do x30 tentacle side curls somehow
Fuck, Veeky Forums.
Guys, I've been doing DOJAD, and all my secretions have been really oilish.
Anyone know what's going on?
>be me, 18^9 zeit-years old
>strolling along andromeda galaxy diplomacy station quarters
>see thicc ayy lmao squatting 4 protodiscs in non restrictive exo gear, going xenorectum to moonrock
>try to communicate with Xim
>realize my trans-planetary diplomacy telecommunicator isn't activated
>Xe doesn't understand a single verbal lexicographic combination i'm speaking
>microtubed spaghetti RTE rations begin sliding out the legholes of my suit
>thicc ayy turns around with a puzzled emote on his cortex displayor
>Go home and deflate
>tfw still no Xefriend
I do high gravity squats, is there any extra benefits to going floc to rock or can I just hit parallel?
>be me
>names goku
>actually kakarot
if someone caps this put me in the screencap bro
Gotta work up to leaving pilgrims impaled on the shrike tree, forever undying x F
And moving through time & space is great cardio
>be me
>on replication holiday in zeta sector
>notice my exoskeleton loosing density due to low gravity
>meet shady reptilian trafficing off market density mods
>exoskeleton density stablizes nearly instantly
>all the ayys mirin, good times
>board transport craft to return home
>pilots notice something is interfering with temproal warp drives
>mfw density mods turned my exoskeleton diamagnetic
>mfw galsec traces magnetic signature to me
>mfw sentenced to solar arrest for 2 consecutive planetary geomagnetic reversal sequences
>tfw you have redundant
>not having secondary or even tertiary back up organs for when heart blows up from steroid use
>i shiggy diggy
How are those non-functional balls going for ya chap?
I hear they sell some nice hormone reposition supplements in Andromeda, sissy!
Just keep lifting and eating your protein through the winter. Gotta be patient for that chitin to form, bb. Don't forget to rub those antifungals and antivirals on your spiracles, my brood.
>at intergalactic training facility
>open 32 parsecs a cycle
>temperature rapidly approaching flash freeze levels
>see squid beast on the running simulator
>cut out his entrails and sleep in his moist dead corpse to survive the freeze
>survive sure death freeze, still so lonely
>tfw no life mate
>56039.A639X
>not doing low-gravity pneumocranial tentacle extensors
confirmed not going to make it
>"You're gestating HOW many eggs a day?"
>this thread
>get back from enhancement stockade on R-145A after 8-turing mandible session
>trip back to home planet, consume 7 Universal Standard scoops
>decide to get in cryogenic stasis pod for long ride to recover
>5 ferrats in wake up from nightmare
>in my dream I was only at 6%
>body exudes synfol-10 oil in terror
>mfw I lose all my gains
>sl'em derngav
>mesh'mn shliii'avo
>lwakhjr'avo (15) sl'kamna "SSKAANGA" haam sl'juunna em dundji 10-20 shliii'hakh gnd
>sl'gonjida demgav schl'deljikkik'ha h'nd
>schl'adada "dongiv scl'gouda derngav"
>"HAKAAK DERNGIF'H FERTOKH'AVUK"
>sl'ujdehkoncna derngavi'ish fluggo skl'jornngu fertik'asigohk sand'f od
>sl'dojjfertna derngav aashdacshs shliii'guub fod'go
>"TUSHK'GLAG"
>drw
>tfw closest gym is 30 light minutes away
Trikleptonian*
>do alien bicep curls
>on the moon
>eat alien protein after for sci fi gains
he he
>10101110101000100100101011011010
>101001011010010001001
>011100010101010110100
>01000010101010101010010101010,01010101100 101001 0101010
>1010010!
>101 0100010101 10101001001 10101010
>101
kek'd
>the dhirivian nubile who wears femoral compression layers in the kinetics facility
...
Does lifting make up for being a Zeta Reticulan?
>plates
people on fit have a hard time dealing with their bone structure under their skin, can you really imagine if we were a race like that with plates all over our body? we probably wouldnt go outside.
>preparing for interstellar weightlifting competition
>decide to boost performance by performing mitocondria cellular infusion
>start experiencing heavy sides as core temperature rises due to excess atp production and scales begin to dry out
>go to xenobiologist who reccomends splicing a phytoplankton gene to dissapate heat and retain hydration
>mfw unable to raise ventral "fin" anymore and shrinks
THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR PLASMA BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO EXO TEMP (0.5*C)
THE SKWEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KRAWLEX SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST
TO POP YOUR:
AYYLPHA BRAIN
XOOMTECH
ZRILL & MXT OIL
ZIMBEEBATE CARE PILLS
youtube.com
>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE HOLO-OCTAGON, FITTED WITH PLASMA-ROPES AND A "WRECKING ORB" STYLE ZIMBY KETTLEBOMB ACTION COURSE
>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRI-AHN RED-BAIN USING CLING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION EXO SKELETON FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MANDIBLES TO THE BRIM WITH SKOT BROANIES FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY TWELNUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE XMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUN-KHAN TRU-SEL AND GRA-HAM HAHNK-OCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = US AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN ON EARTH
DUDE BOOOOM LMAO
DUDE KETTLEBOMBS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH SKWEED AND DUNKED IN MXT OIL AND THROWN INTO CORNFIELDS X FILES STYLE
>"BREN-DAHN SCHA-UB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE ZODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE LIQUID HYDROGEN AND OXYGEN AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"
>"BREN-DAHN "FRA-SEER" "FUCK MY SHIP UP" SCHA-UB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND JETSON RETIREMENT PLAN"
Jo Ro-gahn, 2015
>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JO RO-GAN MOLTING IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH MANDIBLES FULL OF SKOT BROANIES TRIPPING
Brought to you by SphereSpace©
>try to spot the shrike
>slices off my antenna
>whyamievenhelping.jxx
> THROWN INTO CORNFIELDS X FILES STYLE
This is the only funny parts
You need to eat less sqoooqƃiqƃiq and start working on your anterior penor negative extensions, my man!
designated plasma planets
PLASMA IN LOO
>mfw unable to attract attention of queen b/c reached terminal moult and still lacking bladed pauldrons
CH'Q8D ingests PROTOPLASM and copulates with the HIVE QUEEN while YOU stay in the DRONE BURROW and gnaw on FUNGAL CELLULOSE.
I think I might be low test guys
Should I get a high test gene modification or nah?
It's like 20,000 credits and I'm pretty poor
>abduct cows for GOMAD
>literally stealing gains from spacelets
Who is also devilish here?
fuf
fucking kek'd hard
>tfw too intelligent to lift.
kek
...
(cacophonous vocal vibrations hinting at amusement)
I'm genuinely curious if this is means something or if it is just excellently-crafted gibberish.
No
we need more threads like this in our lives
>nanolifting for inferior, weaker specimen
Ayylmaoing at ur lives
>He doesnt reproduce by dividing
>3546
>still abducting cows
Never gonna make it
>Working out with girl im dating
>Tongue day
>Squeeze 300 kg grippers for reps
>Pierce 200 GPA steel plate ez
>She mirin
>Spot her while she´s doing backspike bridges
>hnng them hipspikes
>Chadireeelo0us is doing tailcurls next to us
>Fucking halfbreed Dindunuffarian
>Tongue hanging out, 8 inches easily
>She just says "wow" silently as we pass by
>Tfw
>Finish rest of workout with tongue hidden
I cant take being a tonguelet anymore,
This is the best thread I have seen in a long while.
>excuse me, what's DOJAD? That much plasma a day isn't healthy.
Super simple secret TRICK to make OTHERWORLDLY gains. Eukarionts hate it.
Learn how here:
>that guy who teleports in between sets
>that guy who wears protobasket short armor in the gym
>mfw plasma fart
>be me
>practicing lightning swirls in Jupiter's core
>all of a sudden these Earth men send a probe to start analysing my storms
>didn't even ask for a storm check
>in my frustration I accidentally vaporize their entire galaxy
>beings who have not evolved beyond the need for a physical presence, when will they learn
>>be me
>>practicing lightnight swirls in Jupiter's core
>>all of a sudden these Earth men send a probe to start anaylising my storms
>>didn't even ask for a storm check
>>in my frustration I accidentally vaporize their entire galaxy
>>beings who have not evolved beyond a need for a physical presence, when will they learn
Why did you deleted this?
this entire thread
spelling & autism
I saw Mur'k Rippletuttts at a triglyceride gel dispensary in the binary star system of Pureblind last cycle. I vocalized how satisfying it was to meet him corporealy but didn't want to be a stinksponge and bother him and ask for lexicographs or anything.
He said "Oh, like you're doing now?"
My processors skipped and all I could say was "que?" but he kept cutting me off and going "que? que? que? and closing his claw shut in front of my visor. I jettisoned out and continued with my procurements, and I heard him laugh as he flew away. When I went to exchange for my foodstuffs up front I saw him trying to walk out the dispensary ring with like 15dhBara of gel packets without paying.
The stations logistics A.I. at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “ you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be plasmically drained and not acknowledge , but eventually barrel rolled back around and brought them to the loading docks.
When station automatons took one of the packets and started sequencing it multiple times, he stopped them and told them to sequence them each individually “to prevent any carbonical displacements,” and then turned around and hooted at me. I don’t even think that’s a word . After system A.I. scanned each packet and put them in a cargo satchel and started to calculate the rate, he kept interrupting them by venting thoraxic gas really loudly.
...
Jesus dude how high are you?
>Imagine having to be an alien and training
I'd rather not, thanks.
>this entire thread
8/10 for effort