Wake up after 11 hours of sleep

>Wake up after 11 hours of sleep
>Slept through all my classes
>Half my day gone
>Smell like cum, shit, and sweat
>Unshaven beard and naked
>Whole body sore
>Starving painfully and about to shit myself
>Heat up some oats, but urge to shit becomes too bad
>Quickly grab a jar of peanut butter and run to the bathroom
>Forgot a spoon so use my hand
>Shitting naked while eating handfuls of peanut butter
>Finish and reheat those oats, make 4 eggs too
>Still haven't cleaned the peanut butter off my hands and mouth
>Sit naked and alone on my couch, shoveling oats and eggs into my peanut butter encrusted mouth
>Thinking of yesterday when my dentist receptionist yelled at me for not knowing my dad's address since I'm on his insurance
>Start to cry
>Finish and clean myself
>Have my first sip of my monster ultra
>Mom comes homes
>Get in an argument because she made a peanut butter sandwich for herself when we agreed that the peanut butter was mine and she has her turkey for sandwiches
>Take 2 hours to re-plan my workout routine
>Text a girl I know, she doesn't respond
>Masturbate
>Browse Veeky Forums for 5 hours while eating chicken and rice
>Watch anime for a bit
>Go to bed but can't get to sleep, thinking of her
>Masturbate and pass out

Most Veeky Forums way to kill myself?

First

Seems strange to have all this dietary discipline and not even lift

It was a rest day

Your day sounds fine compared to mine. Man up pussy.

make a plan of what you need to do each day.. can contain stuff lik e, shower, breakfast, dishes .. do that for 1 month .. jsut pure routine and planning . once you get shit done everyday youll realize that life is not about waiting for something to happen but making it happen

I bet this is going to be the next "parents are gains goblins" thread

Try meditating man. i'm like you: i have a tendency to ruminate on stuff and not focus on what i need to do, but literally sitting down and clearing your mind is an amazingly good thing to do for yourself. by meditating your mind will go through all its shit... until eventually it settles... a scattered mind is the devil's playground, my friend.

try it. try sitting down on your floor for about 10 minutes. focus on something repetitive, such as your breathing or the sound of your fan or whatever. as your mind begins to stray (and it will... its inevitable) bring your attention back to whatever you're focusing on. at this point it's important to observe your thoughts as being what they are: like clouds in the sky, obscuring the sun and the blue by the propulsion of a force that's unknown to them. you see, the appearance of a vast majority of your thoughts are out of control. but to pursue them requires attention and sometimes they seem so salient, so attention-grabbing that your attention latches onto them. what you need to do is to 1. train yourself to see your thoughts as being transient 2. develop your attention so you don't latch onto them.

it's very difficult.

read a book called "Getting the Buddha Mind". I know, it sounds pretty trendy and shitty but it was actually written about 50 years ago by some next-level buddhist master. the books only good because it tells you about the practice of meditation and throws minimal theory at you. meditation and zen buddhism are based mostly in practice. another book that's good is Catastrophe-Free Living (or something like that... idk) by John Kabat-Zinn. It's essentially about the application of meditation towards mental health.

Anyhow, I didn't write as clearly as I should... I have to do some stuff and walk my dog... but I hope everything goes well for you. Don't hurt yourself. You may feel ashamed and shitty about yourself but please remember your mom loves you. I love you

>smell like cum,shit, and sweat

continue? Has she responded?

Thanks user. I'm gonna spend an hour thinking today trying to push away these thoughts.

Today, yeah. One word response that took a day to send.

>Most Veeky Forums way to kill myself?
Run yourself to death

I'm gonna have a fight
There is a punk who keeps on messing around with me, he throws shit at me and constanly tells me I chat shit
I've already slammed him over the head with a folder and got him in a headlock
But its hasn't stopped him
I've been lifting for only a few weeks but he seems stronger then me

I have to fight him

THIS MISTAKE WAS; THAT YOU WASNT AT THE GYM THIS DAY!

FUCK THIS! GO TO THE GYM! AND YOU GONNA FEEL BETTER !

=D

thanks for spelling everything like shit, gn8 user..

Hahaha classic

Different user here. Seconding this. Meditation is hard as fuck and absolutely worth it.

if you're skeptical, find a way to obtain "The Science of Enlightenment" by Shinzen Young. or Waking up by Dan Harris. I torrented Youngs audiobook and listened to the whole thing over the course of a couple days. changed my life.

shit works, yo.

Disgraceful.

I'm actually thinking about this right now. Nothing too terrible is going on I'm just powerfully unfulfilled and lonely.

I was thinking of just getting wasted drunk, popping a few sleeping pills, and sitting in my car in the garage with the engine on. Thing is I'm living at home and I'd hate for my mother or sister to find me like that. My dad is trying to sell his house so it's empty and I have a spare key, but he's close to selling it and the cleanup/hit to the property value would be cruel. I kinda still hate him a little for the shit he's pulled though, so who knows?

White people be weird yo

(Same fagging, more thoughts)

On the flip side that's not very strong or memorable. I kinda want to go to a landmark and neck myself while looking at it. Maybe jump off the GWB with a cigar in my mouth. If anyone has ever driven north on the 9W past nyack, the view is beautiful of the bridge just at twilight when all the lights are on.

There's always the option to shoot myself, with gramps' funs I got through my family, but I don't want them to become anti gun because I didn't care enough to not be that statistic.

Oh I think your doing it opie. You forgot to add
>didnt even wipe

You look like you have a good life, user

Once I cummer 26 times in one sitting. Or, orgasmed at least. It starts to feel like ur pissing but ur dick is like half an inch long and nothing comes out and it feels good

>sitting on my car in the garage with the engine on.

Probably will only work if you have an older car. New cars are better with emissions and I don't think it'd be able to kill you.

Sounds good man. Keep looking for resources about meditation/mindfulness too. You have to do it right to get optimal gains

First world problems.
Starving children in Africa wish that they were eating peanut butter with their hands and smelled like shit and semen.

I will murder any starving children in Africa that try to steal my peanut butter

All problems are equally valid, even the ones in OP's laughable dilemma.

Fuck.

Don' do it bro. Your family loves you, your friends (even if they are just us anons) love you. You are too great to just off yourself, look for the greatness inside yourself, IT'S THERE! I know it is. Like the other user said, look into meditation. It helps, I'm about to go do some right now. Show yourself some self love man, you will thank yourself.

Workaholic here, best part of my week is getting drunk/high friday/saturday night and sleeping in like 10-11 hours, damn such a great feeling...

inb4 sleep deprived

...

No.

He wants you to fuck him

>oil yourself up
>walk into gym in tiny compression shorts, giant muscle tank, knee and wrist wraps, elbow sleeves, and a belt
>breath in as deeply as possible
>make animalistic noises
>head over to the squat rack
>get louder as you rack up plates
>get to 10 45lb plates on each side
>literally scream at the top of your lungs
>"THAT FIRST SIP OF THE DAY BOYS"
>slide the bar off
>die

I guess that's pretty Veeky Forums

>a scattered mind is the devil's playground

Alright motherfucker you've recruited me, I'm gonna start this shit

...

Fucking lost it entirely

>Most Veeky Forums way to kill myself?

8 hour leg workout

African kids don't even know what peanut butter is. Those that have seen it think it looks like literal shit and we're weirdos for eating it.

>Most Veeky Forums way to kill myself?
Post secrets about the Clinton Foundation and get a barbell with 400 pounds loaded on it dropped onto your neck in a hotel gym at 3 AM