ITT - Share your autism Veeky Forums

I'm convinced lifting and Veeky Forums has given me autism. I used to be quite charming, but I'm becoming more socially unaware.

>be me, not you asshole
>go to get a haircut yesterday
>they're busy so I sit and respond to some work emails on my phone while I wait
>qt 3.14 is ready to cut my hair and gets my attention by putting her hand on my back
>"what number on the sides, user?"
>Describe my usual meme haircut
>qt barber asks me if I have any plans tonight
>thinking in my head, people don't usually go out on wednesday nights. Does she think it's thursday or something?
>Say no, just going to go lift tonight
>More small talk asking me what gym I go to
>Classic boobs on shoulder barber technique, she must have learned that in 'school'
>Turns the chair around to show me the mirror
>"Handsome as ever!"
>Drive home
>Realize she was hitting on me...

At least I hit 315x4 on squats. R-right fit?

>be me, fuck you
>walk into gym at 5am early morning
>front desk guy cleaning front (glass) door
>always greet him and say goodbye
>says hello along with a question
>don't hear him bc overpriced jew beats headphones on
>ask him to repeat it as i take headphones off
>still can't hear him bc autism
>pause while looking at him
>utter "yeah, it's looking nice today"
>realize it's still pitch black outside
>he just stares at me for what feels like eternity
>he then adds "ok, have a good workout"
>walk into gym and feel autistic as I go to lift

she wasn't hitting on you

The fact you didn't realized this is actually a symptom for your autism

This. All barbers talk to you while they cut your hair. Its weird if they just stay silent.

>a grill talked to me so she must be hitting on me

>match up with girl off tinder
>we go to the same gym at the same time
>decide to meet up
>she greets me with a big smile
>make small talk
>tells me she's always at the cardio machine working out alone
>tell her that sucks, i stick to the weights
>she looks confused
>mention I need to complete my sets so my muscles don't go cold
>never hear from her again

was this your first haircut. Boobs touch because they're boobs and women are manlets trying to reach your head even if you're sitting down. Also, she wanted to be friendly for a tip

haha holy shit

i mean who goes to the gym as a first date? who goes to the gym to just do cardio?

she got rekt

...

Nah bruh, she's good looking to me and a lot of other people. Honestly would work out with and then smash.

>tfw i'm too socially awkward to talk to people so i fake it by being deaf whenever i go to get my hair done just so i don't have to chat

I wonder what it's like to touch her. I want to touch her.

>guy comes up to me while I'm squatting
>i got headphones in music blasting
>points to a plate and says something
>I give him a thumbs up and stay silent
>he takes 2 pl8s

this was like the least autistic thing I did this week. still I'm wondering why I didn't say anything though.

What? You tip barbers in usa?

all hairdressers are nice to you,
this one was no exception, focus on the gains,
ho's aren't loyal, iron keeps them 'mirin tho

>forced small talk
>forced tips
>waste of money

I started cutting my hair when I was deployed. I'm glad I don't have to worry about barber shops anymore.

Yeah, one haircut is easily 20$+ because of tips

unless girls are really obvious with their flirting i have no idea when they are hitting on me.

usually they only talk to me if they want sex from me, otherwise they leave me alone

My hairdresser is nice, but she also asks for me to send her pics of myself to her and comments on my physique. If she was younger and not married, I'd consider it.

Or maybe she is just playing me for all my shekels, hmmm.

don't have to worry about barbers. now you just gotta worry whenever you see a group of girls giggling.

Cuck usa always be tipping

>letting a female cut your hair
hahaha, fucking kill yourself bro

Nah, I've been cutting my own for almost 10 years. Girls at work always notice my new cut and say they like it. Guys ask which barber do I go to. Saved over 4000 bucks by now.

You're bullshitting. Post pic.

She's just after some attention from someone younger & better built than her husband no doubt.
Don't waste your time bro, nothing good will come of it,

>2 weeks ago, going to uni
>listening to music, look at phone to change song
>look up and see qt blonde, looks at me and smiles
>look at her in disbelief, then look away

Why can't I behave like a fucking normal human being and smile back

I cut my own hair too, mainly bc I live in Chinatown in a city, saved a lot of money and you can't beat the flexibility of cutting whenever you need it done. Takes a while before you can get too fancy though