What's Holding You Back?

I've been on Veeky Forums for a long time, probably too long. I've had months of progress and months of setbacks, I've trained hard and got joocy and slacked off only to gain weight or get skinny again. I've made excuses when all I had to do was put in the effort, and other times I've put in the effort despite having many obstacles in my way.

So what's really holding you back? Why aren't you living the life you want, why don't you have the aesthetics you want, the strength, the lifestyle? What is so big of a problem that you can't overcome it?

I'm 25. I just got my girlfriend pregnant, who I don't even love, and I'm watching my life slip away to a place that is far from my dream. My job is whatever, I like it but I don't love it. I have a real passion for some side gigs that I do but I've never put in the effort to do them full time or build a business. I buy the same groceries every week, we go to the same restaurants, I go to the gym, work, and come home to watch tv or dick around on the computer. My life is bleak, and I feel like my future is out of my control.

I'm so disappointed in myself that I haven't made the right choices and this is where I've ended up. My past is nothing terrible but also nothing that I am happy to look back on. I know I can make choices to change my futures, but the steps I'd take would have a deep impact on the people around me (girlfriend, family, friends, etc). Despite seeing my goals as attainable, I continue to make choices that please others instead of helping myself.

So what is it Veeky Forums? What is so bad in your life that you aren't living out your dream?

I've had this for a long time. Im never consistent. Not just with lifting, it's with everything I've started. I think it comes down to lacking self-management skills something which i never grew up developing / taught.

Not everyone can be born on the fast lane in life

Lol that guy Dan bilzerian can't even score a girl above 6/10. Once I see high test black women in his pics I'll consider respecting him.

Don't be a bitch. Don't let circumstance dictate your ability to live freely. If you don't have a disability or live in some oppressive third-world country, then the only thing holding you back from living your dream is YOU, and the limits that you put on yourself. Your mundane excuse for a "life" is going to leave you incredibly disappointed when you reach middle age or "over the hill". Don't let that shit control you brah. You can have a relationship with your kid without sticking around, and you can leave entirely without being a bad person. But judging on your story even if that wasn't the case, you'd find something else to use as an excuse to keep your shitty life right where it is.

Good luck faggot

Anyone get tired of overly aggressive "motivation speeches" it's so trite

do you have adhd?

They're retarded and not motivating in the slightest. Not sure why people use them, aside from feeling like a big man while doing it.

Don't be a perfectionist. Finishing something lousily is better than starting it perfectly and never finishing.

It happens way too much on here. Whenever someone posts a problem you get people like him coming up with one of the many variations of "just do it and man up"

>making more excuses to not excel in life

You're doomed to fail unless you can change your reality bro

Thats just being self-explanatory. You're not offering any real advice.

>I refuse to act of my own volition
>I need my hand held throughout life

Have you ever attempted introspection and wondered whether the way you passively think is productive or even normal?

man the fuck up, pussy boy.

It's because it's easy. Instead of using empathy to understand and actually think of a solution, they can inflate their own ego by belittling others and telling them to "man up". That way they gave you "advice", but didn't have to put any thought into making it useful in the slightest and could insult you at the same time. It's predictable man child behavior. Even when they're on an anonymous image board, they still have to bolster their fragile boy egos through any means necessary.

Case in point:

Dan Blezarian is the trust fund son of a multi-billionaire weapons factory owner.
He's neither worked nor paid for anything a day in his life, yet spends his days bragging about how people need to work hard and live their dreams.
Every one of those girls is a paid escort or model using his dad's money.

This is who you look up to.

I just broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years so I could go do what I want to do.

I'm happy I can do what I want now but at the same time I broke the heart of a girl who was great to me.
I don't know if I fucked up or not.

You sound very sheltered. Get out of your comfort zone bitch. Man the fuck up.

I don't look up to him but you can't deny that he at least worked hard to attain the body he has.

>you will never be this jealous of another man's success
What's it like being a woman?

This is what I think about every day

>I have a real passion for some side gigs that I do but I've never put in the effort to do them full time or build a business.

Quit your job, tomorrow, and pursue your passion with unholy focus

You're damn right I'm jealous of his father's success. He's been selling guns to everyone since the end of WWII. Do you know how hard it is to get into the legal arms dealing game now?

Chronic health issues that get in the way of holding down a lot of jobs, and royally fucks my ability to make gainz. Add on horrible depression and low self esteem and it seems like I'm never going to make it.

I think I'm going too be making some big changes soon. I've been in a STEM program for a couple years now, and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I just fucking hate it. The grades were fine, but I have no drive to do any of it any more.

I may revisit the engineering in a different way at a later time, but for now I'm doing some performing arts shit like I did in high school and I honestly feel much more alive. I don't hate getting up in the morning as much, and I'm excited to get to work, even if it's the menial shit I'm doing backstage.

Not that easy when you have a kid on the way and bills to pay.

I was in that spot and decided against breaking up with her. She's been terrific to me, treats me like a king and does pretty much whatever I tell her to do (but not in a controlling way). I just don't love her that much. Once I got her pregnant I quickly realized how dumb I was to not break up with her the minute I realized I wasn't 100% in love with her. Now I'm stuck.

>What's holding you back?
Me.

>inb4 reddit tier 2deep4u

Nah, I just doubt myself.

"Living out your dream" is a matter of perspective.
Every day we either wake up to face the shitty things in life or wake up to the wonderful challenges that await us. It's like a squat or a deadlift; you can either hate them and do them half heartedly or you can do them with passion and finish the set feeling like a champ.

Work is by definition not fun, but you can do your damn best and have satisfaction from it.

You may not "love" your girlfriend, but love isn't something you have or have not, it's something you choose to do everyday. You have to willingly appreciate her for the good qualities she does have even when she can be the bitchiest, or the laziest or whatever it may be. You have to willingly appreciate her beauty every day. And when you do that, you will realize just how amazing of a person she really is and you will become satisfied in her.

Go up to her and simply take a moment to reflect on her beauty, both outer and inner, and hold these thoughts to your heart like a father craddles his new born son.
In the end OP, people who live out their dream are those who face every challange with a smile while appreciating the things they do already have.

How would pointing out facts be jealousy?

There's nothing to be jealous of but his dads success. Thats like being jealous of Trumps kids because Trumps success.

Could be worse desu.

I know that it seems (and to an extent it is) impossible to quit your job and pursue stuff you're passionate about when you get someone pregnant. I know that right now you probably feel like you won't have a chance to do anything that even remotely satisfies you so you could turn your life around. Now, you've got responsibilities to other people and you don't look like a guy who could split and leave the trouble behind.

Therefore, I suggest you focus on smaller goals, the little things if you will. Ik, sounds quite tumblrly. But think about it. Take your girl do different restaurants. Don't work out if you don't enjoy it, take your girl to the cinema instead, sign up for dancing classes or whatever. Have some small stuff to look forward to, to sorta guide you through the dark times.

I don't have a kid, but my mom had a kid with a guy who turned out to be a douche and left him. And I honestly believe that no matter how much you hate your partner, you'll love your kid. Just think about all the stuff and experience you can pass on.

Does your gf know how you feel (not feel) about her? Does she feel the same? I don't really think you need to love a person to have a good relationship and raise a kid together. You can simply forge a friendship/partnership over the time and live comfortably at least till your kid grows up.

Good luck user, I hope you find happiness in your life.

basically procrastination
and if there isn't a deadline it gets even worse

I always manage to make a mistake no matter what. If it's not this then it's something else. There's nothing I can do except shrug it off and see where I go from there but it's really discouraging. Money would make the path easier but I don't have money nor the brains. I go to school and need one more term for my AA then can go for computer science Bach. I'm pretty average and managed to get to Calc 3 and physics/Calc 2. I completely slacked off and failed Calc 3. Then when I took physics 2 I had to withdraw because 3 other classes and work. I blame it on myself because I always slack off when I shouldn't. I'm just average. I don't have a car to myself and pretty much share one but I ended up crashing it. The mistakes, bills and everything else just makes it impossible to afford it all. I'm really poor
On top of that, mentally, I'm still trying to find myself and be internally happy. Nothing gives me that feeling of completeness/happiness unless I'm overestimating what happiness actually is. Friends help sometimes. I was getting over my first love while hanging out with this one girl and I guessed I pushed her away which I felt really bad about. I hope I can fix it

So it boils down to no discipline and not having motivation in anything I do

Fucked up teeth from years of phobia. Hope I manage to get an appointment next monday. Fuck it, it can only get worse from now on.

laziness

>I just don't love her that much
you're an asshole
t. your gf

I still live at home and my finances aren't in order. I have a full time job in woodworking, which I love. But am dealing with a neck muscle problem that makes work very difficult. I have great friends and am progressing nicely in my year long nofap goal and strength gains.

My only problem are my parents who do nothing but argue about everything in the same way all the fucking time. It's like they're stuck in a time loop. I need to escape this place.

What you got bro?

I have Ulcerative Colitis and it sucks. My symptoms are totally inconsistent and my weight yo-yos around. I've pretty much stopped working out because I don't have the energy after work anymore.

Otherwise I'm not in too poor of shape. Getting married this year to a great girl and I'm cracking six figures for the first time this year.

Cystic fibrosis and Crohn's. Both make building muscle a major bitch, but fortunately I enjoy working out far too much to just quit. I'm just forced to take a lot of down time during the year (especially in the winter months) due to infections and shit, so I lose quite a bit of gainz during the recovery

You on any biologics?

I'm not because though I was diagnosed 8 years ago when I still went to children's hospitals, my current doc can't find the record of the diagnosis, and my insurance won't cover a prescription without a proper diagnosis. I had a colonoscopy done a month ago, and an enterography done this past week, but so far nothing.

Though my Crohn's seems to be much less severe than other's I've noticed. I had a flare up this past August, which was the first I'd had in 3 and a half years

Been cutting for over a year, down from 202 to 175. Still have a pot belly and man tits, they aren't bad, but they are holding me back from the body I want.

I don't know man. Honestly I've always been kind of unimpressive.

Lifting is something I've stuck with though. It's easy. Super fucking easy. Just go to the gym, move things around, zone out, wake up from the stupor, feel sore, go home and eat. My biggest problems making progress in lifting are all about the other lifestyle changes, like sleep hygiene and eating correctly. Especially sleep. I never fucking sleep enough.

I guess my dedication towards things slips in the face of easy and quick satisfaction. I miss sleep because I like staying up to play videogames. I forget to eat enough because I get wrapped up reading stuff. I'd like to say it's ADHD or whatever but there have been a few times in my life when I've conquered it and it was just dedication that got me through.

I wish I could easily remove the inclination to fuck around. It's not even hard to do the things that I should be doing, I just have this weird aversion to them.

This.

OP you are a manchild. Grow up.

Honestly man, consider getting rid of your computer for a while. That shit worked for me at least.

Veeky Forums

Not OP, but your first points are conflicting.

Work may not be fun all the time, this is true, but there is a limit to the amount of passion you can generate in any direction if there is no genuine satisfaction to it. You can try to force satisfaction, but ultimately the effort is likely spent elsewhere in a field that will net you more personal returns. Otherwise, the continuous force can lead to burnout which has a high potential for many negative outcomes.

my fear of becoming an irreversible fat shit

i've been skelly all of my life, typical "metabolism so fast bro eat whatever I want" mentality when in reality I probably ate just below maintenance most days and pigged out 1 day a week

Now i'm actually bulking kinda properly for the past 3 months (some days only manage to get slightly above maintenance) and my pants are starting to get tight and I my waist is noticeable larger and i'm about 20 lbs heavier. Lifts are up but not impressive at all

Kinda worried but I know you gotta eat big to get big so I'll try to power through it and get those gains, maybe cut some time in the new year

Haha I had considered this actually. Just unplugging the damn thing and working from my laptop. It's time to actually do it, I think. I'm not really losing anything by cutting that shit out of my life.

Are you afraid to become a father? Is that where this thread stems from?

As a skeleton man myself I can tell you that the initial bulk makes you feel fucking disgusting. You have a potbelly for a while, you feel flabby and disgusting and you look like a lardass in all your old pants. You need to keep bulking at a reasonable pace though, once the gains have accumulated it's worth it and making gains on a lean diet is fucking impossible.

thy name is apathy

>I'm 25. I just got my girlfriend pregnant, who I don't even love,

Abort!
Abort!
Abort!

>Once I got her pregnant I quickly realized how dumb I was to not break up with her the minute I realized I wasn't 100% in love with her. Now I'm stuck.
Man do I know about this shit. Its even worse as the kid gets older. My boy is just gone 9 months old and I could never go back to being without him. I fucking hate his cunt mother with every shred of my being though, and I can't escape. Take it from someone who knows. You will never be free to do what you want to do for at least the next 16-20 years. We fucked up bro.

lol, take a vacation once in a while. I go on vacation every year at least twice. Different places each time. You got something to look forward to after all the bleak shit.

Including family is good to if you like them.

I'm in a similar situation, expect I made no one pregnant, my girlfriend well now ex gf realized I don't love her, so she left 3 days ago, I fell weird because it's my first break up, even if I don't love her I feel like I've missed out on something because this girl was serious, I'm talking about really serious and faithful. I guess what I'm afraid about is that I won't find a girl as serious and faithful as her and that I will get hurt along the way.
I'm glad I didn't make the mistake of getting her pregnant, I wouldn't be happy with her.

In short I feel you guys.

this is bait, right?