Mobility

>mobility

previously on mobility
season 2 ep 25
"the midnight warrior"

>gslp

>Justin Bieber is a twink manlet and I would kick his ass in a fight. I don't care if he trains with Floyd Memeweather, I can pick up 405 lbs from the ground to my waist 5 times in a row!

>daily undulating periodization

>needing to lift if you have already mastered the blade

>mfw olympic barbell is my master, strong will is my blade

I don't recall Jerry signing off on this one. Please review proposed memes with Mr. Yates before posting. Thanks.

>No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable

>Hot water knob? Haven't touched it in months. I'm actually currently going through the process of having it uninstalled from my plumbing, they should be coming out sometime next week. I had to list a reason(s) on the work order as to why I am requesting my hot water knob to be removed and discarded. Would you can to hear the reasons? Well stay tuned friend. 2 reasons:

>1. Discipline
>2. Mental toughness

>My property manager was initially questioning my reasons, but I explained to her that by taking cold showers I am actually able to develop discipline and mental toughness. After a long and heated (note that I needn't anything heated, especially my water) debate, I was able to convince her to put the work order in. Now I'm living a great life, warm water free. I even started forcing my gf to take cold showers with me. I refuse to date an inferior female, and I explained to her that if she can't learn to accept and love cold showers as I have then we really have no business being together anyways. She's already received a black mark for questioning my NoFap practices stating that she wants my seed and wishes me to release my seed. Should she continue in this non-stoic fashion then I don't see us lasting much longer.

i mean

everyone knows that mobility is important as fuck. and its a professional approach to lifting unlike squats and oats, which might be correlateable with the pic related, and its obviously shitpost bait, but, how retarded might be a person to open a thread like this. is this, fun? did yo think, aha i have a funny idea for a thread! do you consider yourself smart? what is your place on social hierarchy? how old are you? what major are you studying? dont tell me you are not collage age, older or younger both would be devastating for different reasons. did you consider suicide? im waiting.

shit

>Only date obese women because high test

>someone literally wrote this

>Why am I pulling on my dick? I'm jelqing. I makes my small penis a little bit bigger for a while. It normally isn't this big. I'm not embarrassed about it, just something I do.

So I do mobility and jelqing. How many fedoras do I get?

kekked hard tbqh

>Actually I accidentally had my thumb over the tape measure. It's actually 9". But I mean yeah that's cool yours is still 8". I often hear that people with small penises tend to go on to live perfectly normal lives. Hell, the average penis length is 5 inches (and that's not even taking lying into account. You have nothing to be ashamed of. And on top of that you could be a grower and not a shower. What other people in a gym or theater shower might see as a small penis might actually get quite large when erect.

>Okay you wanna get strong and aesthetic? Glad ya stopped by. Look no further. You're gonna need a couple of things. First off, you're gonna need a good diet. Second, you're gonna need plenty of rest. And lastly, you're gonna need some ice cream!

*record scratches*

>No, no, no, not the kind you eat! Ice Cream Fitness 5x5! It's the perfect beginner program and has just the right amount of volume for a beginner! Plus the guy who made it is super ripped! He's full of loads of information that would classify him as an expert on powerlifting AND bodybuilding (BOTH!)

>Oh my notebook? I'm writing a story. I write in it and read it at the gym. The title: "The Strongest Version of Myself".

>Chapter 1: Weighted Dips

>Sugar and creamer? Ah no thank you. You see I drink my coffee black. I'm sort of like Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven. The tough cowboy type. Would you care to ask me how frequently I use sugar or creamer? Well go ahead, I've got time. Ask me. ... Glad you asked.

>Short answer: none.

>Disciplined answer: Haven't touched it in months. Probably old by now. I'm actually going through a lawsuit to get my local grocery store to reduce their sugar and creamer inventory. It's going well. I can't stand sugarlets or creamlets. Actually cut all of my old friends off who use. Why go through all of this trouble you ask? 3 words. 2 concepts. Discipline. Mental toughness. This is why friend. This is why.

>existance

>sugar and insulin are to blame for my obesity. I am telling you this for a purpose. You see, I've cut out all forms of carbohydrates from my diet. Sugar is addictive as cocaine. People do not lack discipline, they are simply addicted to carbs. Carbs are the enemy, yes, even that banana you're eating.

>Want to lose weight like I am? Ditch the carbs and increase the fat.

>I track every gram of food that I eat, and when my net carbs reach 20g I stop. I just ate eggs in a vat of lard

>>existance

>Yeah, it's called the Texas Method.

tfw this is you...

I'll try this next time I order black coffee. Thanks.

>I don't understand why any sane guy would take his gf to the gym. The gym is a jungle and taking a girl there is a perfect setup for her to act on her biological impulse to find the strongest male with the best genetics to mate with. Unless you're 6ft+ 200lbs shredded, taking your girl to the gym is just asking for her to cheat on you. Especially if your gf doesn't lift; prior to the gym she might think that your gains were massive, maybe even "too big"; but the second she steps in the gym and see the other guys there with boulder delts and cut like a rock, she will never look at you the same again. It's like how we all thought Tobey McGuire was huge in Spiderman 1 when he woke up and looked in the mirror, before we started lifting? Anytime you fuk her, she will close her eyes and imagine you were the dude squatting 3 plates for reps.

>jelqing
>nofap
>stomach vacuums

...

this thread is gold

>dont tell me you do curls?

>download (6).jpg

Kekd hard at *record scratches*