Beta Stories Thread

Lmao'ing at your life if you let your girl drive your car and you sit shotgun, especially to the gym. Saw this guy's girl drive him to the gym while he sat shotgun, lol @ risking your life hard there pal..

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_G._Trump
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

I want to kick his ass so bad.

>calls out on people with chauffeurs

How do I know youre a poorfuck?

I feel like i've missed something with this guy. Who is he?

This

>Sitting in front of two people at a university lecture
>Person 1 is a nu-male with long hair, pony tail and ear lobe piercings
>Person 2 is a very fat woman with Tumblr glasses

>P1: "...yes, she and I text all the time, I ask her how she's doing etc. But then she wrote she got a boyfriend"
>P2: "awww"
>P1: "Yeah but I still write her and check up on her"
>P2: "That's so sweet!"
>P1: "Yeah, I can wait 6 months or even longer...."

>mfw listening to this conversation

>tfw you're solving differential equations in your head and later the media make fun out of you

jimmy nu-tron

You seem to be the trip fag here

AIDS frodo

would beat him up irl/10

I hope he sobers up and tries to be a normal dude, then has kids so they see that picture of him one day

>chauffeur
>woman
Literally pick one

>not having a chauffeur that is also your occassional cumdumbster for post-workout rawdogging
lmao fucking poorfag

this is not beta, this is fucking delta

>your post workout cumdumpster doesn't wait at home and cook you the perfect post workout meal for when your chauffer drops you off after your workout
Your chauffer sounds like a gains goblin

Jesus fucking christ

>trump family member
>capable of advanced level mathematics

chinless hypocrites, desu

...

>your chaffeur cumdumpster doesn't drove you to the gym, drive back home to cook, pick you up at the gym again and let you rawdog her in the parking lot and then drives you home to a perfect slow cooked beef brisket which has been resting during this time

>only one post-workout cumdumpster

Do you guys live in a third-world shithole or what?

>not having another post-workout cumdumbster awaiting you at home with joocy cooked meals after your chauffeur drops you off
Do you live in Somalia or what?

thank you for your original comment

Guess how I know you're a virgin?

yeah, they gathered all that wealth while being stupid

I usually always drive, so whenever a girl offers to drive, I jump at the chance. Sitting in the passenger side for a change is refreshing. Maybe the dude was saving his legs for breaking his squat PR?

>implying D.E.s are advanced mathematical concepts

>trusting a gril with a 290WHP boost-happy manual transmission subaru

nope.svg.ps1.bat

When you're born with a ton of money, it's difficult to lose it even if you're an idiot. Also, it doesn't take a genius to make money.

>Girl
>Drive

Have liberals gone too far?

Ok fit, my Chili is simmering, so I'll share a story of my old house-mate, who'll we'll call Fender so you don't find out his name is Gibson

>be me in college
>live in house, basically on it's way to becoming a crack house
>6 dudes total
>I'm 6'3, and back then skinnyfat. Hung out with bro-level music people. Basically what Hipsters want to be
>Fender must have been 5'10, rail thin, a step above Auschwitz mode
>Raised ranch house, 3 rooms upstairs, 3 downstairs
>live downstairs, below living room
>Look out of my room one day to find Fender has set up a computer and 3D printer in the space outside my room (a little desk area)
>Don't mind at first
>He starts letting it run at night. 2 AM and woken up by the sound this homemade contraption made
But I digress
>Other people in the house are more social.
>Gay housemate Trent and redneck bearmode Tyler have small party
>2 grills there
>Everyone just maxin', chillaxin' all cool
>When Fender, up to literally nothing, enters the room
>Sees grills
>Suddenly interested in gathering, despite earlier in the day asking Trent to make sure it doesn't get too rowdy
>Waits for dude (one grill's boyfriend) to get up for another beer, then nabs his seat next to grill.
>There was even another chair free
>dude and grill give weird look, but don't make waves
>Starts talking about how he converted his car to electric, and built his own 3D printer
>"oh, that's neat" is the polite reaction of the room before resuming conversation
>Fender is not secretly the 3rd Hardy Boy, and does not get hint
>continues talking about difficulty of maintaining printer
>does not mention that area outside my room stinks of acetone, while he sleeps soundly upstairs
>People start being less polite, eventually just ignoring him
cont..

Later
>around a bong, passing it around
>Fender never smoked before
>disgonnabegood?.jpg
>takes smallest hit
>coughs most of it up for a good half minute before passing it
>wait's all of two minutes
>"Guys, I think it's starting to get to me. I'm freaking out"
>that'snice.mp3, chuckle.mp3
>go back to conversation
>"GUYS, CALM ME DOWN, I'M FREAKING OUT"
>I have displeasure to sit next of Fender.
>Grab his shoulder firmly
We're all floating on a giant rock in space, and no one knows why
>...
>Trent yells "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!"
>Much laughs, Fender takes it badly and throws ice from drink at him
(that's another thing, Fender would drink two beers and suddenly 'be drunk' and barely able to stand, so he would drink fruit juice or something)
>grill takes pity, says he can show her his 3D printer
>redneck bearmode Tyler goes with
>Trent mentions it's a good thing Tyler works with retarded people at some home
>Fender holds them hostage for 45 min, just talking about himself

>my, Tyler, Trent's face when

If interest, I'll share more after gym. I went to one of the most autistic schools in the nation. You couldn't swing a chick around without some beta mumbling 'sorry m'lady'

This thread is for alphas only, democrat fuckboys are not allowed.

regards
random retard on an anonymous picture sharing forum

>We're all floating on a giant rock in space, and no one knows why
Oh god

I can't work out if I want to pin this fucker down and shave him, or salute him for owning his twatishness.

>DE
>hard

...

>Trump family member
>not capable of advanced level mathematics
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_G._Trump

Same fag. I have come to a realization.

who is this guy? Looks like a comic version of my roommate.

Cuckservatives not allowed either.

>only making 290 wheel

Sad!

>muh time series analysis

you fuckin mongoloid, its the application of diff eq thats hard

Abraham Lincoln's retarded great-great-great-grandson

bitch my Dodge Caravan generates 297 without mods

More faggot

>be me
>boxing for 6 years
>jiu jitsu 3 years (not consistently)
>muay thai for almost 1 year now
>nevet lift/manlet
>dress layered whenever i go out so no one can really tell my body type
>dudes pick on me when i go out on weekends
>been fighting in the ring for years and still too scared for streetfights

>strokes theorem

fuck this stupid meme image

i wish this was me

...

Street fights arent so bad if you stay calm but agressive

...

Yeah, i just hate the idea of hurting someone that was just trying to look cool infront of his bros. Also a guy I trained with was immediately imprisoned for a streetfight he said was an act of self defense. I always thought the whole illegal for boxers to fight on the street thing was a joke

*not-so-great-grandson

More about Fender, a beta man in a beta land

>Fender calls his parents about every other day
>ends each call with "I love you, my great and awesome dad"
>this call he's whining about how he's so lonely
>he literally spends all his time on his computer or in his engineering group that he hates (because it 'looks good on a resume')
>He's near tears on this call
>we've tried to invite him out before because we know where the open parties are, but he declines everytime to play games on his computer
>sick of his whining, because he does it right outside my room where he also runs his printer and hums/drones along with his music
I cannot describe this well. He would literally just sing one note per chord change.
>walk out
>"Hey, there's a party tonight, let's go"
Oh no, I'm good, I'm just gonna sit here tonight
>"I just heard you complaining that you don't get to talk to people. Let's go"
>he reluctantly agrees
>we go
>Fender's trying to chat up some chick I was knew
>go over, say hi to her and Fender
>I know this gal only a little, but she seems way to chipper to see me all of a sudden
>talk with them, leave to talk with my buddies , think I hear her say something, but ignore it
Later...
>Fender sees me, tells me he's leaving. Whatever
>See chick again.
Is your roomate with you, user?
>no, he left
Oh good, he was being seriously creepy.
>Fender literally just talking about his 3D printer, electric car and engineering team, and never left her side.


Another time
>Fat black girl trying to get my D
>Seriously getting tired of her texting and drunk calling, trying to get me to come over.
>tells me to come over
>ask her if she minds if I send over a housemate of mine
>no, so I tell Fender to get over there that she's waiting
>he goes
>10 min later, he comes back, said she gave him a hug at the door and had him leave.
>black chick calls me, can't believe I actually did that
>what part of 'send over a housemate didn't you understand?

kek

moar

>be math/econ double major
>Fender was a child of hippies
>Believed in socialism
>argued about it occasionally
>typically went like this:
"Ok, what if we had a system where people worked for food?"
>"What if I don't like the food that's offered?"
"Work for food coupons?"
>"OK, I'm not fat, so can I slack off once I have enough food for me?"
"Ok, work for coupons which can be used for food and other goods"
>"That's called money, we have that already"
>he literally thought that the only reason nazis and U.S.S.R failed was because they didn't have enough communication, and the internet would fix that

Later that day
>Fender has gal over for project
>I know her, let's call her Dee
>Walk out of my room, see Dee and Fender
>Fender is showing Dee his 3D printer... of course
>Say hi to Dee, go back to room
>other housemate walks by, goes to shower
>Hear Dee ask "So you live with user?"
"Yeah, he can be kind of abrasive, but he's not a bad housemate"
>heardyoutalkingshitlikeiwouldn'tfindout.exe
>stick head out door
>"Just because capitalism works and socialism doesn't, doesn't mean I'm the bad guy"
>I start to see italian dishes forming in his pockets
"O-oh, I thought you were in the shower"
>"I bet you did"
>close door
Later
>Talk to Dee
>she mentions he kept trying to hang out after one project

I just know 5 items in serious math and nothing below that....can I still be a comp. sci. major?

He has to conceal his true power level so much

top kek

nice stories user

One more before bed. I'll post tomorrow if thread is still up. Might share stories of other betas. After all, Fender was just one beta man in that beta land

Prepare for rage
>back2school after spring break
>mother and sister drop me off, no car, 6 hour drive
>walk in house
Background: As we lived in a raised ranch, the living room was upstairs, about 30 ft from the upstairs bedrooms.
>Fender had developed a habit of taking over the living room space
>his books, his food, his jackets all over the couch and small table
>would sleep on the couch, not twenty steps from his room
>the fact he was an only child really started to show
>when his parents would visit, his mother would spend time cleaning the house, much to my shame because Fender would act like nothing was wrong with letting his mother clean up his messes at the age of 22
Anyways
>walk in house with mother and sister
>living room looks like I dumped my backpack and groceries in it willy-nilly
>Based asian housemate Tom was in room, along with Fender
>introduce mother and sister to them, feeling some embarrassment at state of house
>It's all Fender's, Tom kept his mess confined to his room
"Hi Mrs. user! Sorry about the mess, but what do you expect from a bunch of college guys living together, haha! We like it messy!"
>Oooooh, Fender, only their presence spares you from my immediate wrath.
>Family leaves
>March up to Fender
>Read him the riot act
>"Fender, you can't keep monopolizing the living room and keep it messy, other people get to use it to. There's no room on the table for anything else"
>gay housemate Trent confirmed Fender was a furry awhile ago, when Fender logged onto Trent's computer on Reddit to 'pull up a funny video' he had found, and forgot to logout of Reddit account
>Trent did digging, found some very interesting subreddits
>Fitting, because Fender all but has his tail between his legs, trying to play it cool
"I know"

cont

Oh my fucking god he's a furry. I'm at the edge of my seat waiting for the rest, user plz deliver!

toast to all your fucking stories of the beta man in beta land, gent

>"No, you don't. My mother and sister came by, and you blamed it on the rest of us"
"No I said it's my mess"
>such a filthy liar, it's a wonder St. Peter didn't come down right then and there to pierce his tongue
>"No, you said *We* like to keep it messy, and that's just not true. This is all your mess. It's so messy, your mother feels the need to clean when she visits"
"Well, she would clean regardless, so it doesn't matter
>"You're not embarrassed at all by that, at 22? It's fine living in the space, but you can't just own it and sleep here whenever you want. Your room is 30 ft. that way"
"Oh, but I'm just so tired, I can't stay awake"
>"But you have the forethought to take off your glasses?"
>"You know what, whatever, just keep your mess reasonable
>Head to my room, get unpacked
A day or two later
>talking to bro-tier, asian Veeky Forums roommate Tom. He had left the room between my family leaving and me talking to Fender
"Dude, what did you say to Fender?"
>relay conversation
"Dude, he cleaned everything right after you went downstairs like a kicked puppy dog. I don't think he's even been in here since then"

>Fender kept living room clean for a month, still was noisy outside my room, making it smell and stuff. Had to talk with him, found out Gay Trent had talked with him a few times as well


I have space left, so another story
Fender Dates a Fatty
>Fender mentions to me that he'd like to use the living room tonight, he has a date and is going to watch a movie.
>Whatever
>talking to Tom later. Only Tom has met this chick
>Apparently she's something of a whale
>frequent FPH threads, get excited
>plan to introduce myself as Ishmael if I meet her
>She shows up, and they start watching Cowboys and Aliens
>pretty sure Fender enjoys the idea of being the only technology using person, and saving the day with it
>I go upstairs under the pretense of getting something out of the upstairs kitchen
>I just want to see what she looks like
cont.

Aw fuck its 1am I wana sleep but I wana read another fender... someone screen cap these please they're great.

fucking keep posting fag, don't go to bed I want to read more

5pm in the arvo masterrace

Good shit, user, good shit, tell us moar Betaland Stories.

>true to Tom's word, she is fat.
>Not quite hambeast, but that stop is only a bakery away. Definitely has a 'rounded' look,
>biceps are bigger than mine, consider asking for bulking tips
>I'm introduced, she's introduced
>she doesn't get a name here
Later
>Tom and I standing in the doorway
>Tom enjoys fags, and is smoking one half in and half out so that the house doesn't stink up
>we're making jokes about Fender, as is a common pasttime in the house
>mention I could not date such a woman
>I do not own a pelvic brace
>and so on and so forth
It would turn out later that Tom was something of a chubby chaser himself, so I got double milage out of these. Tom could not understand some of my Veeky Forums girls, or at least not /fat/ girls
Tom had some bearmode going on though, while Fender was Auschwitz mode. I trusted Tom to know enough about hip thrusting from squats to handle a fatty
>we start hearing a rhythmic thumping and squeaking, soft moaning
>Fender was getting it on with the Fatty
Next day
>Asked Fender why he went for such a large woman
"Well, I've dated attractive women before, and it never works out, they're too shallow, so I thought I'd try something different"
>Find out later he gets Friendzoned by fat chick

Room for short one
>Gay Trent has people over pre-gaming
>Grills there, so Fender joins in
>as previously mentioned, Fender has a psychological intolerance for alcohol, meaning two drinks in and he's stumbling and acting giggly
>group gets going to frat party, and piles in bed of truck
>Tom and I talking in living room
>Fender comes in ten minutes later
>"I thought you were going to the party"
"Oh, I was, but I crashed and ran into a stop sign"
>It turns out Fender, always trying to show the lllladies how different he is, had decided to ride his bike there
>in the snow
>at night
>after drinking

Ok, bed now. If threads up tomorrow, I can tell you about
>cane guy
>the black chick
>the o-week tard
>various autists in my classes

Oh, and for posterity, I am not without sin. I did a lot of painful growing up there, and am still having a hard time socializing. Much like my time at the gym, I am constantly trying to improve myself.

That school was a magnet for betas, autists and tards though. It taught me to see the beta in me, and how to hide my powerlevels in public. Fender acted more like my freshman and sophomore self than I'm comfortable acknowledging, and what's more I can see who was me then too, trying to subtly hint that I should act a different way. However painful those are, I can share those too, if only so that others can learn how to play it cool.

Also, next time if thread is still up
>cape guy
>the pony men
>boffer and fencing clubs
>Gigabowser, the transexual Supersmash bros. autist

But after that, the beta stories die out, and I have to get into one where people are just dicks.

Yes please user, 2bqh I lurk these threads because I was once a beta too, just like i lurk fph because I was once a fatty. It's kind of like self hate for someone you're not anymore. And stops you from ever being that person again.

my setup was ugly but here you go

Pls for love of everliving Zyzz post more,these are fucking crack ups!

yep

source: I am comp sci grad student

>Cape guy
>The pony men
>Gigabowser
Holy shit this is gonna be glorious.

Pic related, (i lold at your post)

The fuck?

My gf drives her bf around all the time and hes alpha as fuck.

You realize conservatives are the opposite of cucks and liberals like op's pic are cucks. your insult is meaningless and only serves to lessen loser libtards

Thanks for sharing user. Great stories

Yes I barely knew anything in that area before my comp sci degree and I graduated with distinction.

Also that image is garbage and I doubt whoever made it really understands what they've put in there and has just googled 'hard maths concepts' or something.

>I start to see italian dishes forming in his pockets

But that's me

>With current girlfriend
>She is straight up 8/10 asian qt 3.14
>Extremely bright, smart and occasionally funny, loves to fuck, pretty much all I can ask for in a girl
>We've been going out for a month when I hear that her ex has been saying some creepy fucking shit to her
>She broke up with him when he tried to marry her after dating her for 3 weeks since he was that clingy
>They were both 18
>She thought she could be friends with him after a breakup
>Nope.jpg
>Talk with him
>He's literally r9k personified
>She'd been dating him a month after she broke up with him and started dating me after a week, so he was upset about that and gave her some threatening comments yesterday apparently, has pics to prove, has filed restraining order
>Call him and tell him we are having a fucking sit down to talk about this shit
>Tells me to fuck off out of his business
>Tell him that it's my business too and that if he wants to tell me otherwise he come fight me
>I'm 6'4 225, there's no way he'd do it, he's 5'10 145 at the most, so he agrees to sit down and talk
>Tell him I never liked him from the moment I talked to him, but that if my girl still wanted to be friends with you, I didn't have a problem with it until you threatened her. Now you don't talk to her, or any kind of shit like that. You fucked up
>He noddingly agrees and I leave
>haven't heard from him since
>Still somewhat worried that he's gonna try to kill both of us and an hero since he's depressed, but hiding that thought very well

Did I do okay brehs?

sleep with one eye open, breh

...

just kidding, you're cool. don't go to work tomorrow.

...

yeah you did what's right user (unlike a lot of those "alpha" stories you see here), just be wary

gl

Better off not streetfighting. You don't know if you'll get ganged on, suckerpunched, headstomped, etc. There are crazy, insecure dudes out there.

Also you might knock a guy out, he falls back, cracks his skull on concrete and dies. Suddenly your life is over for manslaughter.

Only fight to protect your life/your loved ones lives.

>Only fight to protect your life/your loved ones lives.

we must MAMORU our TOMODACHI. that is the honorable way of the ninja.

Vancouver?

Please go back to Rebbit.

ohh dude please give more im sittin at university and dont know hwat to do

dude please gimme more thats so nice and laughing my ass off

nice trips and im kekkin hard as fuck i need more please

non stop laughin please gimme more

i want to kick your ass so bad

Damn user i hope for you to come back or i will sue your ass

come back you little faggot i want some more stories