Is this all a meme?

>be me as college freshman
>used to work at UPS
>just got off seven hour shift, mentally and physically exhausted
>black coworker wants to smoke with
>first time I ever smoked
>high as shit cuz I went too hard
>later on that night, feeling horny
>been talking to this one on girl on tinder (this was like two years ago)
>decide to drive to her place
>we hook up in my mom's suv
>cant get it up all the way because of the weed+exhaustion combo
>she ends up blowing me for thirty minutes while I zoned the fuck off
>she asks if it feels good
>I just say "what"

and then I dropped her off back at her place and blocked her from snapchat the next day

I think this is my calling that women are a meme and I should just become a math monk after all

>Stories that never happened
>Random frog garbage posting
>Non fitness thread

Saged, repoted :)

do not lose hope user, it's just that actually having sex is weird, tricky, intimidating, obtuse, etc., unless you're very lucky, see it as working toward something

>we hook up in my mom's suv

what

it was like 3am and I didn't want to bang in her house so we just parked my mom's suv somewhere

i guess thats one way to go

how does no one see you fucking if its in a car though

idk but I got away with it that time. A few weeks later I got caught having sex in my sister's car by some elderly fisherman

did he say noice?

Are you stupid, obviously this happened bc u fapped lol. the body takes time to produce semen, it can't just get horny and revved all the way up on command. and you're on Veeky Forums, i assume you fap very regularly. try not fapping for a week or so if you can actually handle abstaining. literally do it. there's no reason not to try it. I am telling you that abstaining from fapping will cure your problem sooner or later. this sort of prime-of-your-life sexual impotence isn't just a joke or a ruse, it's something you made for yourself by fapping regularly and without considering the implications.

im being really harsh bc i myself had this happen to me with a girl that was absolutely PERFECT--im not gonna blog about it but long story short i literally went soft right as i tried to increase the rhythm while we were fucking. it was horrifying and it ended up being my only chance to be with her.

you can also buy supplements designed for older men. i don't mean viagra but just nutrient pills, sort of like vitamins. they're a fucking overpriced ripoff but u do what u can, and they probably do *something*. you can also eat more ginger. i'm chinese and the "spiciness" of ginger is considered to be very, very 阳.

>dick is fucked due to death grip, circumicision, cutting for 3 months straight, too many first sips
>fucking big beautiful 21 year old Latina hourglass perfectly smooth gigantic juicy ass
>she's ramming her ass into my sick, sucking me off, depth roaring, drooling everywhere, licking my balls
>feeling nothing
>1 hour later both drenched in sweat
>explain to her that sometimes, I just can't cum
>extremely awakrd, feel dead inside
>but the thought of dat first sip tomorrow morning hngggg

sex wearing a condom really sucks, my first time was equally disappointing. gf her and switch to raw sex, it's way better

seriously don't get guys who hook up with a lot of girls. presumably they just have really sensitive dicks, or are really into listening club sluts drone on about netflix

I fucking wish, it was really weird
>pick up this one chick on christmas eve
>go to a fishing spot me and my buddies go to thats kind of out of the way
>figure no one would show up since it was mid forties and christmas eve
>flaunting this thot right in the pussy
>going hard so I don't know whats happening around me
>look up for a second
>this car pulls up literally right next to us
>looks in the window
>lights up a cigarette and walks away

At least I got off that time. The girl asked what was happening and I just told her it was a bird.

>i just told her it was a bird
fucking smart

Don't worry too much OP. It's probably a mental block more than a physical problem. At least that's been my experience a couple times.

You're kinda nervous so you're not hard initially, then she's expecting you to be and the downward feedback loop starts. Also I need a sense of control, which can be difficult with someone new.

Exact same thing happened to me freshman year. I just told her I'd jerked off and needed some more time. She followed up a few days later. So I explained the problem truthfully (which turned out to be no big deal) and ended up getting round two (she swallowed).

Don't just stop jerking off. These people are morons. Also virgins. Just don't jerk off at inopportune times.

Also keep sipping, sipbro.

And it's this guy again

>chinese
>fucking

I used to think the same, even after I creampied a girl raw. I didnt enjoy sex until the 8th girl I fucked and i was using a condom too. Just get into a rhythm and dont switch positions if you feel good. Also its ok to jack yourself off to get hard dont get embarrassed, once youre in youll probably keep your erection. Also you dont need to do no fap but if you think youre gonna bang just try not to fap that day

also fucking sauce

anyone else see varg when they read thia?

ty

you treat your body like shit

stop circumsising your sons