Mom / Dad Logic

Anyone else have experience with terrible mom/dad logic when talking about fitness or nutrition?
>Be me, wrestled in HS
>Often had to cut to make a certain weight class
>Dad tells me to eat less protein in order to make weight
>Warns that if I cut to a certain weight class I would lose strength and under perform

I tried explaining to him that I wouldn't lose strength so long as I ate enough protein but he refused to listen to me.

Bump

>if you use whey you're brainwashed!
>200 lbs deadlifts? wow calm down, you might hurt yourself

My dad thought that stretching could make me taller
>tfw manlet.

I think the classic most common one is probably

>"Creatine? My son will NOT be taking steroids!"

>A GALLON of milk a DAY????!??!??!?
>Son are you sure??

my dad thought any workout involving your back will eventually fuck you up for life.

>he mostly runs and has fucked up knees

>Ok so this is my bro's room, he is like super into the Gym!

>Oh don't worry your metabolism will slow down as you get older. You'll have trouble keeping off the weight hurr hurr.
Nah, you're just fat because of your sedentary lifestyle.. not because of muh metabolism.

...

These

As someone in their early 20s I can confirm that your metabolism does slow down as you get older. It is really hard to keep off weight with a slower metabolism

AWAKEN

Wrong I'm 32 eat 4K cals

My dad thinks that eating a grapefruit a day is going to make him lose weight.
No dad, not facefucking yourself with food would make you lose weight.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee get out roastie, those johgurts are mine mine MIIINNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

My dad actually believes he can lose 10 lbs in 3 days with a secret diet. He opened up his safe and showed me this.

im.also 32 and bulking hard with great results. wtf are these dudes on about?

Holy shit my mom has the same exact diet hanging in her pantry. Fuck.

im 27, i know at least 3 guys who are fat fucks now because they thought their magic metabolism would last forever.

What the actual fuck?
If there's a screencap, I wanna be in it pls

Yeah sorry to burst your bubble, but you hit 22,23 when you work out 3xs a week but get drunk and eat a pizza
every now and then you get fat... It happens to everyone then you figure out how to eat.
Anyone else just fully going to try this?

I was thinking the same thing, I just checked my kitchen for grapefruit...

This is the infamous "Military Diet"

Posted all over Pinterest and FB so lazy people can do it instead of eating right and exercising.
Supposedly people in the military use it to make weight quickly, at least thats what it explains in the rules.

The military diet, or paramedic diet, consists only of caffeine and nicotine

SON

I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A SECRET

DELETE THIS OR I WILL STOP PAYING THE CABLE BILL

"This is a safe diet"

>How to piss out 9.8 lbs of water in 3 days and lose .2 lbs of muscle.

You eat ice cream every fucking day on this diet.

Top kek

Why do you have to explain anything to these entitled dipshits?
Just because they feed you,clothe you and give you a roof under your head doesn't mean you should pay any heed to their words.
Ignore them 95% of time.
Show them whos the boss you little bitch.

Is it in his safe because it's a "safe diet"

I grew up skinny as fuck. Like even though I was upper middle class, my mom just wouldn't make a lot of food. Would actively tell me to not get more food at dinner so that there were enough for leftovers the next day. When I graduated high school, I was about 5'7" 115 pounds.

My parents would often ask me or joke that I had an eating disorder.

Go to college with access to all-you-can-eat cafeteria, gain about 15 pounds and 2 inches of height by winter break, yeah in 3 months. When I visit home, parents start yelling at me because of how much food I'm eating, how it isn't possible for me to still be hungry, why am I eating so much food, I'm going to eat them into the poor house, when I was eating like, a normal amount or probably even less food than normal people eat

They sit there and act worried about how I don't eat much food, then when I do eat, they get angry at me for it

Unbelievable.

My family is constantly against me doing anything PL-related

>"you'll ruin your kneeds user"
>"you don't need to lift so heavy you already look good enough"
>"what's the point of going to the gym all the time if you're eating so much"

I told my dad I PR DL'd 500 lbs and all he could say is that I'm going to ruin my back

My parents told me that instead of taking my motorcycle to the gym for 4 days a week, I should instead take my bicycle and Go twice a week. Then I was informed that bikig includes a strenuous Ab and biceps work out. When I asked them how come I did not get any muscle Mass for over 6 years of biking 30km to school almost every day, I was told to shut up.
I Have yet to meet one person here in the Netherlands that knows a lot about lifting.

all that biking really helped with your endurance and cardiovascular health you retard

>wake up at 6:45
>today's the day
>roll out of bed, waddle over to scale
>after mentally preparing myself for the half inch step up I blow the dust off of my bathroom scale
>small chunks of cantaloupe and tuna escape my mouth and land in globs on the scale
>awkwardly climb into the scale, sucking my beautiful skin rolls in so I can read the number
>wait
>no
>this can't be right
>486 pounds
>I've gained 4 pounds from the diet
>panic.jpeg
>I roll over to my safe
>it is 8:45 by the time I reach it, my greasy fingers fiddle with the knob for another 15 minutes
>finally the door is opened, a single crumpled up paper lays inside
>read it over and over, it should have worked perfectly
>I realize my mistake
>my heart stops
>my mom's stupid boyfriend finds me dead on the floor
>mfw I ate a medium apple instead of a small one

Lol... That's any 1960's health clinic diet. It's what the backbone of weight watcher's started with... And then made people pay to support each other.

Famous catch 22 of my grandma. You want some food honey? Omg you're so fat, what's wrong with you.

So who is willing to give up 3 days of gains for this shit diet?

Whores breakfast, 2 cigs and a cup of coffee

I'm 31 and have had no problems cutting or maintaining my weight compared to a decade ago. "Muh metabolism" is mostly an excuse for 10+ years of a sedentary lifestyle catching up to the average office worker or stay at home mum.

Just wait. Next comes gf/wife diet logic.

It does not improve.

>tfw your parents are educated

user DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'VE UNLEASHED

There's this old dude (66) who runs like 10k everyday and also gives fitness advice on local TV, sorta like if Scooby was a cardio bunny.

He lives near me and we always catch up when i'm jogging at the park, since i'm a recovering fatty (started at 333lb now at 260) he always offers me fitness...advice.

>told me to grab a broom and move it around like a ninja to burn my love handles and back fat
>told me to literally run for 2 hours a day so i can reach my goal faster (instead of, you know maybe eat 200 cals less a day)
>Got upset when i told him that my goal was to reach my target weight (80kg since i'm 6'1) and start lifting
>apparently he wants me to go fucking skelly mode (60kg) because i'll look more aesthethic

the weird thing is that he has never given me any sort of nutritional advice, maybe he doesn't know jack shit about that, crazy old man, but at least he's a fun guy to be around

I am 22 almost 23 I eat like shit and have more alcohol in my fridge than I can drink. I weigh less than 70 kilos. Maybe just don't stuff your face you fatass.

They're from a time before you could obtain unlimited information on whatever topic you want wherever and whenever you feel like, so obviously a lot of them just parrot the hearsay they learned when they were younger and to them correlation = causation.

You can find two or three dudes in a Planet Fitness at any given time who would be considered freakishly strong men by early 1900's standards because the average person just knows more shit at a given age as time goes on.

Its a bit of a surprise but my parents have been super supportive of my lifting. Dad thinks whey is rhe same as Jack3d or those other dodgy preworkouts but w/e. I showed him Starting strength and he was interested although said something about be careful of my spine

>"And these are my sons! They are super into bodybuilding. You know they have a special diet and all!"
Both barely over DYEL and literally regular diet only more eggs and whey

Does anyone have that screencap where user's mother and sister try those nonsensical diets and don't understand why they don't work?

>The verb diet, where they only eat foods with verbs in the name

If we set a date id be down to try this bullshit as a group

>Chocolate shake
>French fries
>Patty melt
What could go wrong?

>decide to stop jogging and start lifting to burn calories because i don't want to destroy my joints since imma fatty
>Mom: buuut user u need to run otherwise you wont lose any weight
>Mom: Or you could do that thing your cousin does...you know that gym where they make them move around and dance and stuff...i think it's called crossfit?
>tfw

According to user it was mostly split peas and whipped cream.

>fireball
>Budweiser
>Heineken
>various flavored "liquors"
2/10 shit taste m8

>"what's the point of going to the gym all the time if you're eating so much"

What did he mean by this?

My uncle is a bodybuilder, so my Dad actually knows a decent bit when it comes to working out and is pretty built himself at 6'0" 200+lbs

Pic related is my uncle

This 100%

I know this fucking feel

(Grow, grow, grow)

I hope I don't turn into a stubborn, closed-minded, know-it-all uneducated prick when I get older. It feels like every old person I know is like this. Is it an ageing thing or were they always like this, and now have the false authority of age and a position of power in a relationship (e.g. being always right because they are parents) to lend legitimacy to their half baked bullshit?

>My fat is turning into muscle. So it's working.

>mfw

How old were you when you realized your parents aren't all knowing gods?
>mfw i was 24
>mfw living under their thumb oblivious to the ways they kept me in the dark and subservient to them
>mfw was able to get out once I recognized the situation but permanent psychological scars

Kek

Plz include me in the Reddit screen cap.

Diet plans are such a joke. Once you know the basics of macronutrients and what things are generally good and bad the only thing you need to succeed is willpower.

At work my boss always attempts to transfer workplace authority into conversational authority and its actually pretty frightening hearing her talk to coworkers, especially when it comes to diet which I know the basics. Theres always a weird moment when I shut down what shes saying because in her mind authority is authority and my coworkers somehow grant it? (she is not fit either). I tend to see those people as the most dangerous, just spreaders of misinformation.

I was 9.
What the fuck faggot.

Try putting yourself into an artificially aged state. Then imagine being that way for decades, no respite, and it only becomes more severe. It's ridiculous.

Yep, and nothing you can say to these people, they are always right and your lack of authority means you wouldn't be believed if you had 100 peer-reviewed studies to prove it. The only way to get anything through to them is to make them think they came up with the idea themselves, but that's pretty difficult to do.

That's a good thing. The faster your metabolism and the more calories you consume and burn, the earlier you die.

You probably die to some shitty disease or accident before that matters, but theoretically it makes a big difference.

this has to be bait

>Diet plans are such a joke
they are a helpful tool for people that don't know about all that stuff. But some I'll grant you are stupid and outright dangerous.

Nice broscience, bro.

Eat less animals. Eat more plants. Stay awesome longer.

MY

it's not that they didn't understand, it's that they were fat fucks making up excuses to eat shit

>ugly fingers
>dat nail

I'm 24, fit the description and even when I bulk I stay below 18% bf.

Sounds like you just suck desu

He specifically mentioned muscle mass you seething moron.

Lol what in the fuck he's like a bro science Sensei

I'm thinking about trying out alcoholism
how is it?

Literally my dad
>"don't squat so low, you'll wreck your knees"
>has bad knees
>never used to train legs
>did trampolining as a teen

Most people fuck their knees up mainly from heavy leg extensions and running but for some reason squatting gets all the hate.

I'm pretty sure it's because squatting requires a modicum of effort and people look for any excuse to avoid it.

>bicep
>ab
>no mention of legs
Your family might be literally retarded

>>told me to literally run for 2 hours a day so i can reach my goal faster (instead of, you know maybe eat 200 cals less a day)

It is absolutely fucking mindblowing how people cannot grasp this concept. It is MUCH fucking harder to burn off ~500 calories than just not fucking eating that sandwich.

lmao you should meet my aunt.

>Don't buy whey! It's for professionals! Are you in a competition? Get your protein from food!
>Don't eat ALL the meat and eggs, damnit! Leave some for other people, too

>Le pls include me in the screencap
>H-hey guys look! Here i have a funny screencap of Veeky Forums and MY comment is in on it! Hahaha

Fucking kids...

MASTERS

115lb

How bout you give me your parents address an ill make then 115lb an see how they like it.

That's basically child abuse

...

I think that was the point he was trying to make.

...hehehehe

>"You can eat whatever you want if you run every day"

>dad, don't buy me food or drinks I have my own money for food and all I'm drinking is water
>of course, user. I'll help out though, what do you want from the store?
>oats and iceburg lettuce would be great, thanks
>come home from work the next day
>HEY BUDDY, I got some burgers and soda for ya' in the fridge!
>th-thanks, but I can't eat or drink that stuff
>ARE YOU SAYING I WASTED THIS MONEY
>almost every time he goes grocery shopping

He has a fucking ridiculous metabolism, eats what he wants and is still fit. Sadly, he thinks everyone is like that and won't take "no thanks" for an answer.

I was skinny as a kid due being stressed out 24/7 and violent allergic reactions to potatoes which we ate almost every day. At age 19, 6'6''(195cm) I weighed like 120-130 lbs. I was worried but:

>you aren't skinny at all
>most guys I see at the mall are like you
>no one in our family is fat
>you have bds
>etc

fuck you mom

classic dad sedadu

once you realize everything that is worth living for will also goblin your gains when taken in too large doses you begin to appreciate the real moments with people when taken in moderation.

No

>Dad sees how I've been eating
>changes his eating habits
>now eats oats, vegtables, chicken breast, fruits, etc
>dad sees me getting stronger and bigger
>dad starts lifting with me
>dad sees how i treat my girlfriend
>dad sees how well my gf responds to it
>dad gets redpilled hard
>is more assertive with mom
>more dominant
>dad is happier
>dad is now like 12% bf
>gonna start him on a bulk at +250
>dad is more confident
>dad is healthier

Feels amazing desu

Your dad is right tho you retard

You eat more protein when cutting than bulking to avoid and slow loss of LBM

Idk why dyels offer advice?