Did you have a "I'm going to turn my life around now" moment?

xenon is fucking delicious though

I was lying in bed in my pitch black room during a depressive episode. I had just eaten two boxes of pop tarts, jacked off three times in 30 minutes, and had God knows how many energy drinks. I laid there for almost two days, festering in my own stink and generally being a smelly, lazy, piece of shit waste of space.

I hated myself and I hated everyone around me, and I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling or sleeping. When I finally got around to getting out of the bed, I looked around. I saw myself and what I had become, I saw my bed, my room, the piles of trash and waste.

I was disgusted. I smelled like ass, my room smelled like an alley dumpster, and I realized that there was nothing redeemable about me or my personality. that was two years ago, but I remember that exact day.

Survived a suicide attempt and turned the experience into a catalyst for an esoteric interpretation of Christianity where I'm essentially improving my life for the glory of God and my family so that I may one day live the kind of life I want in some kind of different timeline.

fug

Wanted my ex gf back for stupid reasons.
Found out she was fucking my to that date best mate.
Same year fucked up school badly.
Went to the gym regularly and signed up for the army.
Since then I have just a few friends, no nightlife and only have sex like twice a year.

I had a near-death experience. However it wasn't the switch most people think it is. It was the starting point of a slow self-improve cycle.

>Being this new

Because posting a pic of some qt will guarantee people look at the thread.

>it wasn't the switch most people think it is
here
I can attest to that, even if yours wasn't suicide related.

I was always pretty distant from my mother but I found out in May that she had a brain aneurysm about a year prior and in June I got to see where she was buried. I've lost 55 pounds so far, even though she's gone I feel like making myself the best person I can will provide some closure.

I saw a pic of me and my kids. I was disgusted by how fat my gut was and weak I looked over all.

Lost 35 lbs and now bulking.

Your experience on Veeky Forums will be much better if you assume that they're pictures of the OP. I do and it has had no negative impact.

It's hard for me to remember "exactly" what the trigger was that got me weightlifting consistently. I was 15 years old and started off with wal mart workout bands and 10 lb. dumbbells. Just a bunch of kid stuff.

I got an weight bench for my birthday from my grandpa and just started working on it I guess. Could barely rep 60 lbs. at first and now I'm 22 and almost hitting 405.

I think I was just "made" to lift regularly, it isn't even a thought. Men were meant to toil in some way, right.

Knee surgery 2.5 yrs ago. Was 295 fat fuck. Now down to 245. Lost most of it pretty quick. Weight has been steady for a year.

>be this past st patricks day
>drink entire bottle of bushmills alone in my room in an hour and a half
>not even remotely drunk feeling
>240lbs
>wake up the next morning and decide something has to change

down 75lbs so far

I slipped and fell at the snow, me being the fatass I was the would-be minor fall gave me scoliosis

Sex twice a year, sounds like you made it

Good job man.
Keep it up

I have been meaning to start lifting ever since I was a teenager. Around this time last year I notice that i had become flabby (I have always carried extra).

I was 28 and decided if I do not change my lifestyle now will continue to put on weight and i did not want to be and obese middle age man with all the complications that come with it.

I was 203Ib when I started and am now 179lbs (lowest was 170lbs) and about 17%bf and enjoying a small bulk concentrating on strength.

I wished I had started when i was a teenager.

I looked in the mirror after a night of heavy drinking at a friend's house and saw a fat piece of shit college dropout that had to go work at Wal-Mart tomorrow. Something clicked. I joined the Air Force and got my shit straight.

I weighed myself and saw I was 270lbs and realised I'd become a fat fuck so I decided to get down to a healthier weight. I'm currently 224lbs but I'm trying to get to 180lbs by March.

same here, I dont remember what my trigger was. But at some point I just did. I just started to do and never stopped. Perhaps its age. Knowing that if I dont pull my shit together there will be no more chances.

Perhaps its something else. But suddenly I just snapped and went into "well I can be even more extreme than that" and just escalated sports, training, diets, until I was on a 50% caloric deficit, keto diet, running 1 hour a day while using green tea pills just to get to a normal BMI. Nearly starved myself too, but it worked.

From there on I didnt relapse, I grew more muscle. Kept eating clean. Started to respect myself more, got out of neetdom and started working again. Now trying to get better work still, trying to get certificates for that work.

In sports also making some progress, both in lifting and in running, am basically army fit now. Eat for about 180 euro's a month in supplements. So got my energy and libido back from my youth.

Even researched things like this (pastebin.com/ekSR1hwE) (self made)

Its probably also partly related to pic related.

Alcoholic, had a couple of seizures, decided that wasn't the way I wanted to live and die.

>I joined the Air Force and got my shit straight

I think you mean you joined the chair force and got your shit pushed in.

Yes but it had nothing to do with strength training at first.

Christian mysticism is the absolute best

what does a seizure feel like?

prease exprain

bags of sand

well memed ;)

Yes OP. I caught herpes at age 19 that triggered a god awful auto-immune response. There is a metric shit ton of different manifestations of the AI disease I have, but most notable issues are the full body arthritis and various skin problems.

You've never lived until you've been a 21 year old 90 year old.

Anyway... I'm 36 now. A few years ago I was over 210lbs (5'10)... lost most of my muscle mass... was a fat slob. Ate whatever whenever. Was sedentary because my joints always hurt. Vicious cycle.

About 3 1/2 years ago I started eating clean. Didn't take long to lose about 60lbs with diet alone. Then I started working out and have been at it ever since.

I feel great, relatively speaking.

>this summer
>be 22, gamer and khv
>go to barbecue and get drunk for the first time because bored
>meet girl, talk for hours and get number
>date over the summer, lose everything to her, head over heels.
>she has to leave for study abroad next semester, stops talking to me.
>I'm broken, and vow to improve myself.
>6'0" 145 -> 173 got gains

>living in a shit hole town
>living in a decent but messy house
>house mate was a stoner
>work colleagues were stoners
>I was a stoner
>No one I could call a friend.
>Move to a large city
>Get a job that is better in every way
>Only associate with people who are trying to make it
>Haven't smoked weed ever since
>Finally obtaining all the things I dreamed of back then

Still miserable.

>Island hopping years ago
>find giant tortoise on his back
>He'd been there for days and was starving/dehydrated
>spent hours trying to right him but he was heavy
>much to heavy
>see in his tiny eye he knows that it's the end
>start lifting so I will never fail againf

The day I turned 23.

Half asleep, laying in bed, I realized shit I'm 23. Than my life flashed before my eyes. I remembered getting my first bj at 15 and thought fuck it's been 8 years. I thought back to ex-gfs, my one-itis in particular. It was nearly 6 years since I met her. But it felt like only a couple months before. I remembered all the fucking around I did in school. I rememebered all the girls that showed interest in me but I was too beta.

I remembered a teacher telling me I could be anything but here I am, a high school drop out working as a laborer. I thought back about how my one-itis dumped me 5 years prior. 4 years since I've seen her but I think about her and dream about her regularly so it doesn't seem that long. Think that i've been in this job I hate for nearly 4 years. 4 fucking years!!! I can't believe how fast time has gone. Think about all these different opportunities I've had in life but didn't take advantage, like sports teams that thought I could go somewhere with it. Have a bit of anxiety attack, realize I'm 23 and still living at home, realize I went from 83 kg with abs at 18 to 119kg at 23. Eyes open, jump the fuck out of bed and went for a run (jog with intermittent walking, lol)

Been a pretty good year for me. Still really fat but my strenght is pretty dope. DL 220kg, bench 120kg, squat 160kg. Half way through a university bridging course. finished a programming course. Can kinda run now. Mainly do HIIT like sprints etc.

I can relate to this guy. I also stank and was depressed.

Hahah ay my man, My ex fucked this "friend" I introduced her to. Been wanting to join the army as well. Looking at doing some first aid courses in the hopes it will get me in as an army medic reservist.

I've had a dozen of them (mostly drunk moments of clarity after hemming and hawing over some girl for waaaaay too long) , and I've never actually turned my life around.

good read user, keep at it, let your past fuel your ambitions, become great

i saw pic of me on the left on one of those "look at your seat during the game" photos

pic on right is me now 50lbs lighter. 30 to go

Tell me more about your AI disease. I have herpes and was unaware. I'm worried about giving it to someone else. I'm worried about giving someone herpes with complications like meningitis, encephalitis, Alzheimer is associated with it.

Decided I didn't want the beetus like pops

I was trying on clothes in a changing room in front of a 3-panel mirror , had my shirt off and saw myself not sucking in my stomach and realized "oh shit I got kind of fat".
Went home and looked for a home workout routine online, started that immediately and it eventually turned into Weightlifting, rock climbing, and running which I now do all of multiple times a week. I cleaned up my diet and stopped eating when I wasn't hungry (think I used to eat out of boredom)
I look better in changing rooms, too.

Start now. Veeky Forums is rooting for you.

Thanks user. May the gains be with you. We're all gonna make it

>be like 22 and playing Assassin's Creed Revelations
>wow Ezio sure can run for a guy in his 50s
>realize I couldn't run for 30 seconds without dying and I was in my 20s
>shit

3 years have passed and even if I'm still part skeleton I got really into martial arts and feel stronger than I ever was. It was slow and I still have a long way to go but I'm not planning to stop.

>playing 40k space muhreen
>"I wanna be a swole ass space mother fucker"
>start running
>start lifting
ONE DAY I MAY!!

I can remember perfectly, I had just gotten clean off of heroin and was a 5' 10" 140lb skelly, somehow managed to keep a good looking girl around towards the end of my addiction, anyways a few weeks into being clean some nigger trainer at the gym she went to asked why she was with that little dude (this was a few days after I had started fucking around on the bench press that was in the basement of the place). That rage kept me lifting for the past 4 years was up to 175 lbs probably 10% bf and had some strong lifts going. Dumped the girl about a year ago and got lazy over the summer and lost about 10 lbs and all my strength. I just got back into the gym last week and am hungry to get my gains back. Went from a drug addicted loser that was homeless to completing a bachelors STEM degree next semester and I attribute a large part of my new lifestyle to lifting. Now the goal is to get even bigger and stronger than before.

When I attended court ordered therapy, I was diagnosed with depression and anger management issues. When the shrink told me was my moment. I need to change my life.

So prior to catching herpes I was extremely healthy. Perfect vision, perfect hearing, no allergies, 6 pack, played various sports, did whatever, ate whatever, you could say I had "superman" syndrome... I didn't think anything could ever slow me down.

I got back together one night with an ex gf. (She later admitted she had caught herpes after we broke up) About a week after our encounter is when the shit hit the fan. I didn't have any bad visible outbreaks at the time, but it absolutely REKT my central nervous system.

From that day on, I started developing various symptoms, all of which I thought was herpes. From day one, I started having a "leaky faucet". I lost pressure when I'd piss, and then when I was done it would continue to dribble. Terrible joint pain that was extremely bad in my lower back. In the morning it was excruciating to get out of bed. My eyes were bloodshot all of the time and sometimes things would appear fuzzy. Prior to the herpes, I could smoke pot all day long and the whites of my eyes would stay bright white (albeit glossy). Now I wasn't smoking pot and everyone thought I was stoned all the time. Developed nasal crusting and starting to lose hearing.

I finally got diagnosed by an infectious disease specialist with "reactive arthritis" or "reiters disease". But as time has progressed, it's more accurately referred to as an undifferentiated spondyloarthropathy... mainly because I now have nail/scalp psoriasis and showing signs of ankylosing spondylitis.

There are other shitty things that I didn't mention... but I think you get the point. AMA?

>get on scale
>new all time high
>realize it'll continue to rise unless I do something
>stop stuffing my face
There you go, all there was to it.

Yeah I did
>be 15, freshman in high school
>really serious about football, getting legitimate college attention already (coaches inviting me on unofficial visits,etc)
>starting in one of the most competitive conferences in cali as a freshman
>blow out my knee game 2 after breaking a school record for passing TD's the game before
>miss rest of season, start getting bullied by the black kids for being one of the only whiteboy's around
>depressionhardcore.jpg
>sophomore year re injure knee and miss season before it even starts
>try to kms after getting fat and hating myself
>parents decide we need to move, live in midwest now
>decide to get my life back on track
>get serious about lifting, nutrition, and my training
>get into best shape of my life, start kicking ass again
>go to tons of colleges for visits, get a lot of good attention but need game film to back me up
>break collerbone during a scrimmage before junior season starts
>hello darkness my old friend
>surgery, end up playing last game of the season but any college attention I got during the offseason was gone 100%
>actually have loving family and friends to support me this time so i stay in shape
>senior year was crap, new coach that was a giant dick
>had a decent year but hated life and wasn't good enough to get any legit attention
>give up on football

Feels bad boys. I try not to think about it because I get really bitter; but, I am doing okay now.

The chair force's PT is a fucking joke, like high school PE level garbage.

>xenon
The processor?

I just looked at myself, thought "Hey I'm pretty skinny. I should fix that.". Then I did.

Fuck sorry to hear man.

What strain do you have?

Fell in love with a girl who had a pure heart, but I realized no matter how much she liked me as a person she would never find me attractive because I was 270 pounds.

I'm still losing weight, I'm down to 230. I want to be 160 one day.

>all these guys look so good in CBT
>realize they look good because they lift weights and watch diet
>I wish I looked good
>I should lift weights and count macros

Tbh

Came because I thought this was a stealth waifu thread.

Mines really shit.

It was the shooting range course of Call of Duty MW2.

I saw my time and thought. I'm not satisfied with that. I can do better. I'm going to do better.

It was the first positive thinking in fucking years. Got a doorway pull up bar and started knocked 5 out after every game.

HSV2

If I want people to reply to me I always post a qt are you a retard

that's it. Veeky Forums is dead.

roughly 16 years old, in a t-shirt store with friends, trying one on.

>"What a horrible body you have, user"

14 years later, I have a great body but no more friends.

When I had to put down my doge 3 years ago.

>Start now. Veeky Forums is rooting for you.

I've been lifting for over a year. It's done nothing to turn my life around. It just gives me an excuse not to go crazy.

Set some goals than?

Try no fap. I'm on one week and I think it is giving me more motivation. Too early to tell. But it's definitely given me more time.

How has this experience affected your outlook on life/girls?

Also, if you still have joint problems, how do you work out and stay fit/happy while also being safe? Just use really low weight?

Sorry to hear man, thanks for sharing though. Much appreciated.

When I was in the shower and part of my dick was covered by my belly when I looked down.

...

Where can I read about esoteric Christianity? Your interpretation of it

I was brushing my teeth one night and as I was doing so, I could see in the mirror my moobs jiggling from side to side.

I've a ways to go yet but I'm down to 90kg from 120kg. Haven't really done anything besides cardio and reducing calories though - I'm thinking about picking up a gym pass to lift.

I usually have around some important dates (birthday, new year). No specific resolutions, just a general idea of changing something. But it's always gradual with me, a complete revolution just doesn't work for me.

When I got mugged and beaten up by thugs for being too weak to defend myself.

So I was majorly depressed basically from the time that I was a kid. Had a full-blown neckbeard nest, pissed in bottles, lied in bed 99% of the time, never took care of myself, blah blah. Always really wanted to get better, always tried. Never lasted more than a week or so with my efforts. Then one day out of nowhere I just started to keep my room clean and never stopped. No real concerted effort, it just randomly became one of my mannerisms after trying a hundred times to force it. Eventually, over a few years, every other aspect of my life improved in the same pattern. Shit was a miracle. I always thought that, if something in my life was gonna get better, it would be because of a real disciplined effort. But nope, particular aspects of my personality just got better all at once. It's been a miracle. This wasn't at all how I envisioned the whole healing process would work out, but I'm pretty sure that it's only happened because I'd always wanted it and never completely gave up on myself.

Anyway I'm a fairly happy, very healthy, self-sufficient adult with a social/sex life now. Been this way for a few years. I really don't stop often enough to consider how grateful I ought to be.

I was the type of kid that would wear a t-shirt when going to the swimming pool. I hated every minute of it and couldn't imagine anything worse except taking it off.
I felt as if everyone looked and was better than me. I remember later on that at a party in highscool my qt3.14 was staring with her jaw dropped at a classmate doing striptease. He wasn't built, jacked or anything, he just wasn't a fat fuck. I felt helpless like that kid with his t-shirt at the swimming pool.
I remembered all those 80's movies where big guy(no bane intended) would save the day. I thought that if I got my shit toghether I can be just like him.
I have begun to feel changhes since then and life seems better. I may not be there but I'm on my way

Same bro

It's the new trap revolution

i did for the first week of nofap, joined a gym fro the first time even, was going every other day

then the motivation went away

who is that semon demon?

All of this happened from keeping your room clean?

Will try it out this weekend.

Outlook... that's a deep question... too deep for me to type all of it out... but in a nutshell it shit all over my parade. Before the AI diagnosis I had seen a lot of clueless doctors and was at the end of my rope. I wasn't far off from suicide. I had this god awful rash all over my face... I was embarrassed to leave my house. Figuring out what was wrong and how to treat the symptoms helped tremendously. Some stupid simple shit.... naproxen helped with joint pain.. although now I use 'repair guard' which is natural and easier on my stomach and works almost as good, prescription strength steroid cream/foam helped my skin conditions... and testosterone helped the hormone imbalance. It all makes life worth living again.

I eat an extremely healthy diet. I also stay at a healthy weight. Also the more active I stay, the better off I am. Long periods of inactivity make life suck... so I try to stay moving. ....a body in motion...

As far as being safe while lifting... that's a good question and has always been my #1 priority. Getting injured is a major setback, so I avoid that at all costs. I don't have a lifting partner or a trainer, so I only do what I can. When I started getting back into shape I started with light weight (as I still do any time I try something new) and focused on my form. Figured out what lifts caused me problems and which lifts I could do with caution, and which ones I could do with zero problems. Basically just took baby steps, but stayed with it.

My go to's:
Bench press, incline dumbbells, dips. (I approach all of these with caution)

Lat pulls, pull ups, curls. (I can go balls to the wall with these lifts). Shrugs will put me down for a week with severe back pain if I make the slightest mistake, so I stay away.

Leg press / split squats / calf raises for legs.

what is lever

Having 2 inch wide arms and a 46 inch waist is bound to motivate you to lose weight and gain muscle no matter how lazy and depressed you are. Plus these stretch marks are fucking nasty, I look like a fucking lion's scratch post.

>Outlook
I appreciate you typing it out and glad you're getting at least the symptoms under control.

I already don't trust women and having something like that happen to me would probably make me a total misogynist (even though yeah it's technically irrational to blame all women for the actions of one).

Props for keeping a good attitude throughout all of this. Sounds like you've got symptoms under control - I think what is most poignant about your situation is you sounded like you were a Chad before the AI response to herpes.

So you have tasted what the optimal human experience is/was and had it taken from you by a cruel twist of fate. But like I said, I'm mirin your positive, forward-looking attitude throughout it all.

Thanks for sharing user

>tfw this is my current situation

delet this

I'm glad I'm not the only one motivated by Assassin's Creed

No problem, and thanks for the kind words. It's nice to share actually, I don't talk about it or tell people my struggles IRL. Most people I know have no idea, and I like to keep it that way.

some anonymous guy on a malaysian banjo stringing website told me i was worthless so i decided i wanted to squat an unhealthy amount of weight

Same boat here, except I threw up laying down on my back and choked to death and ended up in a coma

Hurting my dick from fapping 7 times in a day. Having a black neck from diabetes at 15 years old.
Getting rejected by a grill I cared about and she apparently liked me too for some reason, but I sperged it and ruined it.
Having some sort of mystic fascist experience in summer that made me abuse my body with excercise and get in shape.
Used to be 112 kg skinny fat and now 84 well built with muscle

>have vivid dream one night about a year ago
>see an aesthetic as fuark version of me
>a more social version of me
>all the things I could have been
>after that, decide fuck it, no more
>started lifting

fast forward to today and I've got a gf. Feels pretty good lads.

I went a co-workers wedding in the middle of December last year. Everyone was there with their significant others and I was completely alone. I had a good time with all of my co-workers that night but then when it came time to leave it dawned on me they were all going home to or with someone they loved and I had absolutely no one. The very next day I decided to change my life.

I was 320 pounds when I started, now I'm currently at 246 with a couple weeks left until I hit my one year mark. I had originally set a goal of 100 pounds in a year but I won't be hitting that. I'm okay with this, when I started I would be out of breath in a 23 minute mile and now I'm able to run 5ks in 35 minutes without stopping. I'm still fat as fuck but my lifts have been steadily improving. As my physical health has gotten better I've found now I need to deal with my psychological health. I have all my same issues I had a year ago, a severe lack of self-esteem, depression, and anxiety but I'm working on those slowly.

Good job, user. Try lurking Veeky Forums, most of their shit is tailored to DYELs and skellies but I'm sure you can get some decent advice