The proper way to wipe your ass is to wipe towards your balls, right?

>recently at work someone noticed when I was bending over
what did you mean by this?

>he doesn't spit wipe
fuckin 2016

Jesus, I thought I was the only one kek

>not folding the tissue paper
>not dabbing instead of wiping
>not finishing off with wet wipes for extra freshness
>not washing thoroughly every time you shower (so 1-2 times a day)
My butt is always so clean, feels good man

Spit wipe master race

>2016
>He doesn't use a bidet
Uncivilised savage

I prefer singles with the sink and toilet next to each other since I usually analysis masturbate a little too while I'm on break. Soap and water on hands when done, wipe bum with hands, back up to blow drier and dry crack with sensual hot air

200% clean, no tp flakes, no irritation, flawless

>I usually analysis masturbate a little too while I'm on break

wat

Just how fat are you? I can't comprehend this shit...

Anyone else use baby wipes? I started the other day and I've never felt fresher.

>implying you don't want a female to lick your fresh and clean gooch.

Right here, I bought flushable wipes a few months ago and they've been fantastic.

>mfw carbfags need special wet wipes to clean their loose excessive stools

keto for 2+ years and ghost shits are the norm. wiping is a formality once you have ascended

He jacks off to Japanese candlestick charts, duh.
Get Veeky Forums, faggot

Bidet masterrace reporting in.

That feeling when your anus is just fresh as fuck even after a sloppy shit

>2016
>nearly 90% of the world population still doesnt washes theyr asses after they shit even in first world countries
how is that even fucking possible

>The proper way to wipe your ass is to wipe towards your balls, right?

NO.

Any recommendations for a hook-on bidet or similar thing?

I live in the uk and nowhere has bidets and I'm sick of feeling dirty after sloppy shits or those ones where you clip the turd just too early to have it all out but too late to push the last nugget out.

if it has been happening all your life it could be a health issue rather than whiping technique. Maybe an auto immune disease or intolerance for some foods you are not aware of.

So you have walked around smelling like shit all of your adult life?

I didn't realize that you have to actually spread em and clean your asshole In the shower untill my early 20's

Bidet master race reporting in.

I don't understand how the rest of you go on smearing your shit across your asscracks like the filthy backwards apes you are.

Ive been wiping between the legs like that since i was 14 and dont plan on going back. Its so comfy unless you do it you wont get it.

why don't you use baby wipe? I use them because toilet paper irritate my ass, I never have shit in my asscrack
you never have a clean asshole with toilet paper and I don't really like cleaning my ass with water and my hands

They aren't known as shart in marts for no reason

Fucking kek and they say Veeky Forums is dead

this so much
got the idea from Veeky Forums like 1-2 years back and my life drastically changed for the better

Nether regions are swampy for guys and girls, you still want to avoid spreading shit towards that area

Get a bidet, I can never go without one ever again

>Stop standing up to wipe
Is this some US joke, I'm not getting? Who the hell would stand up to wipe?

How can they see your stains in the middle when you bend over? Do you work in your underwear?

Pro tip: baby wipes.

You'll realize you've been walking around with a shifty as hole all your life.

Asia style: get a Japanese toilet seat.

please explain how a blast of water shooting into your shitty ass and dropping your shit all over the place where the water comes from is hygienic

SHART
IN
MART
SHART-SPECKLED BANNER

Flushing babby wipes will fuck up your pipes eventually. The alternative is bagging them up and throwing them in the trash.

I wipe front to back, but only my hole. There is no need to wipe cheeks, unless you are sick or something.
I don't use baby wipes because they're not meant to be flushed and I don't want shit rags in the trash. I use folded up tp with a little soap and water, then dry.

...

Fit taught me this

No swampass since

THANKS FIT

dude go to the dollar store and just buy some cheap baby wipes. if your out somewhere, go grab some paper towels before you shit and wet them in the sink..once done wipe you ass with moist paper towels and scoot.......simple as that you dirty mother fucker.

Anyone else just spread their ass open wide when shitting? seriously I don't get shit on my ass what so ever while doing this.
And when I wipe, I wipe into the hole because thats the only place that ever gets contact. This is coming from someone who has 2 different people eat their ass out on the daily by people who have said they enjoy eating my ass out because it's so clean (and shaven)

I have always used my hands
Why else would people insist on washing your hands afterwards I figured
I mean, what is there to wash off?
The soap kind of damages my skin so I have to wash very lightly, it gets stuck in my fingernails some times
I figure it can only help my immune system though so no real anxiety about it

Go home, India

ahhaha tfw people still dont have bidet.

even in roachistan we have fucking asswashers in every fucking toilet.

pls fucking evolve people.

PUT THE POO IN THE LOO