Bros I think I have dysentery
>been shitting pure liquid, almost water shit every 10-15 minutes for the past 12 hours
>shit coming out like a fucking hose, have never shat so much at one time in my life
>literally feels like I'm pissing out my asshole
>asshole is so fucking sore I can't sit down and I'm in fucking seething pain everytime I shit, but I literally can't stop
>feeling the need to blow my guts out again as I'm typing this
Should I go to the hospital or just keep my fluids up?
they aint gon do shit at the hospital other than keeping your fluids up
just ride the shitstorm until you get solid turds again
it's called a flu, it will go away in a few days. Keep fluids up, decide whether you want to take something that stop the diarrhoea or just let it all go
If you had dysentery, you would shit blood, I think. This could have been done with a simple google search though.
i had this happen to me one time. eat light meals. drink water and SOME gatorade. youll be okay famalam.
I had then when I caught the mexican flu during that so called pandemic a couple of years back. You'll live.
Inb4 OP has CDIPH and has to have clean poop put down his throat
i had dysentary once and i lived without medical attention. you'll be fine
maybe intense diarrhea?
Sup senpai, you don't need to go to a hospital if you really don't want to, but if money isn't a factor I'd go.
If you feel like you're getting dangerously dehydrated you could make some ORS and keep sipping on that.
I don't think you had dysentery.
yeah well i did. literally shitting blood and mucus for 5 days. i got it after trying to put whiskey in my ass with a dirty turkey baster.
What are the chances I shit myself while I'm trying to sleep? Should I put down a layer of towels or something?
youre only gonna be able to get an hour or 2 of sleep at a time for the first night. just wait till the cold sweats kick in
Post of the day.
i guess i didnt really answer ur question. but youll be waken up by ur stomach telling you its shit time. put a towel down for safe measures
Then you're a fucking idiot.
I would normally think as much, but it's been pretty much seeping out of me, hell, I even shit myself this morning cause I thought I needed to fart but blew out a torrent of liquid shit
...
...
What exactly were you trying to accomplish user??
You left out the part where they charge you out the same Asshole you're having issues with
You wot m8?
It's not dirty if it's been Sanatized by the whiskey
OP, drink gatorade or powerade or some shit. If you can't afford that, put sugar + pinch of salt in your water. Even if you keep your fluids up, you're losing electrolytes.
t. medfag
I use(d) my turkey baster to separate my egg whites. I forgot to clean it one morning.
Later that night, I went for a drink and only had t2o shots left.
I thought to myself "If I put this up my ass I'll probably get a decent buzz."
I whip out my ol turkey baster and walla
>pic related
Anways next morning I was basically dying. Shitting blood and mucus everywhere.
I called my mom and asked her what I should do and naturally she was wondering why I thought it would be a good idea to put a baster full of jameson up my asshole but whatever.
Anyways I stopped putting things up my ass....
You left out pickle juice Mr PHD
Sorry for being on my way to success, friendo.
just for my fitbro, it's "voila" rather than "walla"
One night I got violently ill. Like passed out on the floor after having the vilest shit of my life then vomiting in the toilet so hard - as if alcohol related, but not.
The following two weeks I was in various states of distress and nausea, no hunger etc, but what really scared me was my poops were not only presenting anywhere between soft serve ice cream and soggy Smacks™, they were also ghost white.
I got on probiotics and stayed hydrated and all, but it seemed to go on longer than I was comfortable with. I called and got into my primary care doc the same day, he wrote me a script to get my gal bladder an ultrasound and within an hour I knew I wasn't going to die.
Still took another week or so to normalize the color.
Please tell me this was your most awkward call.
If not, well, story time I guess.
You ever thought about doing egg whites up the ass?
Ahh fuck me, no it wasnt...
When I was a junior in highschool my parents left for a weekend and my sister who was a freshman had some qt friends over.
We all decided to drink (not jameson lol) a little and we all got a little tipsy. QT friends decided they wanted to play hide and seek for reasons I dont fucking know but whatever.
I get chosen to be the seeker. I count for two minutes and then Im off. Im not having any luck at first and my stomach starts to hurt. I decide to go to the bathroom and call my friend Chad.
So Im takin a shit while Im talkin to Chad tellin him about these qt grills and how Im tryna smash one of them. Meanwhile Im bombing this toilet like it was Hiroshima. It was bretty bad
I heard a cough... Then a gag... One of the girls was in the fucking bathtub. I told Chad I had to go. I wiped my ass and went to bed. I was so embarrassed.
The girl didnt say anything to my sister or any of the other girls, thank god. And im actually getting married to the girl in the tub next month. Funny how the world works huh.
That's a good respectable girl there. My theory is one should always subject their possible spouses to all the horrible things imaginable first and if they stick around you can trust they will not ditch you over something dumb later.
I once made my wife (gf at the time) throw up from baking a horrible fart into the cab of my small truck.
When you GOMAD, you're supposed to keep eating solid food as well.
Hope that helps
- Mark
>not being an expert on Veeky Forums memes
Be careful I shit myself on my sleep once when I had diarrhea. Well not in myselp but when you wake up wanting to shit sometimes it's too late and your anus just lets go.
I had to get something injected to stop it