Gym stories

i had my first gym kekaroo today

>walking past dumbbell room to get to the benches
>see ginger lanklet, wearing too short shorts, ankle high white socks, extremely hairy thighs, awkwardly skinny and bad posture
>napoleon dyanmite minus the glasses, teeth, and endearing mexican friend
>doing squats with a short bar in front of the mirror, i'm guessing 25-35lb
>he's here so i respect that
>warm up on erg for a few minutes, peek back into dumbbell room
>mfw
>he is holding a lat pulldown bar in one hand, muay thai pad on the other arm
>practicing sword and shield combat in front of the mirror
>combo 1: block-push slash slash block
>combo 2: high block, repeated stabs over the top of shield
>complete with sword twirling animations and battle grunts
>room was occupied by others before, now completely empty

i wish i could have filmed Veeky Forums, but i like this gym and don't want to risk a ban. he must have been a larper or something

there is a gai in my gym that screams DOGGY as loud as possible whenever he does anything. he also says hi to me and gym bros and its weird because he seems like a genuinely normal person until he goes and lifts something or runs on the treadmill and screams DOGGY

Maybe he lifts for his dogge?

is it angry yelling or excited yelling?

it's really high pitched as if he is trying to call his dog or something kek

>If I wanted a gym kekaroo I'd ask for your 1 rep maxes

If I wanted a kekaroo I'd ask for your 1rm

Could be worse, he could be yelling "SIEG HEIL" between reps.

There is this skinny guy that has been coming for months. neither his lifts or him have gotten any bigger. I swear he's going trap mode

my guess is tourettes

kek

idk about that, he literally walked up to me and asked me how to get his dog's facebook back up and working. i told him to make a new account kek

been a while but I still get a mild chuckle out of it

>qt muscle grill in gym
>does some serious lifts relative to BW and size, am secretly mirin but that's not the point here
>has the interesting habit of grunting amazon style when lifting heavy
>I kid you not serena williams when serving a game winning matchball crossed with bad porn sounds
>one guy always happens to train near her >think it's coincidence because hey maybe they have similar routines with similar lifts what do I care (plus she's openly lesbian so why hit on her)
>nope he is actually ogling her all the time trying to impress her with srs lifts
>one day he front squats massive amounts, struggles but manages to
>right when he is going up for third or so rep she lets out a bloodcurdling porn moan to end all porn moans
>guy gets instant boner, loses focus
>lets the bar fall
>bar hinges onto boner on the way down with all the momentum from letting it fall from mid-torso height
>boner does not stand a chance
>hfw

haven't seen him anywhere near her since

>implying getting swole amazon in bed wouldn't ruin your dick the same over time kek

also lrn2greentext you missed a line break there shamefur dispray

Veeky Forums noob here what do you mean?

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not same user but I guess he refers to the fact that through elaborate heavy lifting, some muscle grills' pelvic floor and vaginal tension are so well-developed they can accidentally hurt your penis

Some autistic Spaniard loudly threw his weights on the floor to run over and "help" me as I did the roll of shame on the bench.

>serena williams when serving a game winning matchball crossed with bad porn sounds

vocaroo pls

sadly no I don't go there anymore

same here although not spaniard. ended up nearly hurting me worse than I would ever have managed to myself lel

do go on

this caters to a fetish i was not aware of having

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