Gym plate warmer raised the tax and tipping fee

>new plate dispenser only accepts credit cards

Dude, I wish. The plate vending machine at my gym still only accepts coins.

Nothing more embarrassing than a handful of quarters spilling out of your pockets when you're going ass to grass.

>CURRENT year plus one
>not having gym tokens

Gym tokens will still fall out

forget to bring my gloves to the gym, trying to hide my callouses
>sir, please put those away. you are intimidating others
everyone around me is wearing gloves, some are way cooler than others
in walks a skinnyfat, pale skinned sand-surfer, the place goes silent
he reaches in to his back pocket and pulls out a pair of yard-working gloves
immediately surrender my bench to him
load up 4 10's on each side of the bar and wish him shalom

>new power rack in my gym
>finally can squat in 4K
FeelsGoodMan

Lifting waits because the gym isn't open yet

And then what?

>my gym have cheap bars that can only handle 1000lbs
how the fuck am i supposed to benchpress in this shitty place
its dangerous

>squat rack bed pan always filled with pajeet diarrhea
>have to use bench bed pans instead
The gym smells only of curry now

>grabbed the towel a little too rough from the guy that hands them out
>tells me he doesn't like my attitude
>lose my water privilege

fuck bros when will it get better? i already apologized for my behavior

>tfw plates get stuck in the plate vending machine and ran out of gym tokens

>gym twink
my fucking sides.

>tfw 1000 word squat essay due tomorrow
>tfw only wrote 800 words

how fucked am i?

>He hasn't purchased a token holder™

>Someone is using all the left arm dumbbells

>forget that I had put in two quarters instead of three for the timed barbell
>starts shocking me mid press and I crush my thrachea

It's all so fucked...

>ate two pieces of pizza instead of one
>forgot only black card members get unlimited slices
>$50 fine charged to my account

you think that's bad

>Planet Fitness employee comes up to me mid-squat
>"Sir you have to leave, I will call the police if you don't get out now"
>confused
>"Why? What's the problem!?"
>"Your shorts are pulled down and you're exposing your ass which....uh...has something in it..."
>now I'm getting indignant
>"You've never seen a fucking squat plug before bruh? It's standard fitness gear, and it helps from clenching my ass too much during squats."

They ended up cancelling my membership and barring me from every working out there. On my way out I stole 2 5lb dumbbells though so all in all a good night.

libertarian paradise

>Gym vending machine on the fritz
>Plates are frozen together
>Got 4pl8 for the price of 2pl8

Fuck yeah deadlift happy hour

This meme is not funny. If you think it is funny, you should literally kys breh

>Gym shaman hasn't blessed oly platform
>Forgot lucky horseshoe at home
>Fucked up morning prayer to Zyzz
I'm going to snap city today, aren't I

>gym shaman mixed the ayahuasca too strong
>takes entire age of universe to complete one rep

for you

>squat shaman cursed me after I forgot to sacrifice my gains to Az'lulu

This thread is great

>forgot to tip my qt3.14 spotter
>now she wont spot me anymore and I have to go for the free spotter that comes with my membership
>mfw it's a fat neckbeard that always touches the bar too soon when I bench

>tfw no aeons of mind-muscle connection

>watching old dude doing isometrics holds at the gym
>busting his ass trynna reach 10seconds on each one.

>I turn to him so he notices me
>"H-hold me"
>Later on he shows me his protein shaker and I help him make some protein in the back room.

Lifting has done wonders for my confidence.

>Tfw when only gold gym membership
>Didn't read before signing
>Raped in showers by platinum members
>Hobble out of pocket room crying
>Forgot my bag

Did you tip the rapists?

>last faggot using the barbell forgot to rotate the pl8s

fucking gold plebs

>have the black membership card
>can relax in the back room of the gym
>have a PT that works out for me and hands me my gains
>receive high quality gains while staying natty

I forgot

>Tfw the gym's plates are made out of the wrong isotope of iron
>Tfw only Platinum members have access to osmium plates

Oh man you're in for it now

kek

Thank you

>he didn't go to an ethnogym

>gotta go to the bank again to get another roll of quarters for the gym locker
>the resident gym shitter ia hogging the toilet paper keycard again
JUST

>tfw I forgot to recycle the plates after squats
>got suspended from the gym for 6 months
Fuck California honestly

>Not using biodegradable plates

Wew lad

>failed 1rm for cthulhu

>missed the monthyl safety meeting
>forgot I had my 5pl8 approval meeting
>mfw stuck at 4pl8 DL for another month

I got selected to be the gym twink next month.

What should I expect?

That was very good.

To bet blown the fuck out in under 2 weeks by BBC

>i still need to bench 15lbs more to unlock the water fountain

Oh fuck im fucked

Lots of very big black men in my gym. I need to start stretching.

>dropped my bottle of water on the retinal scanner
>now no one can unlock the 45lbs pl8s

count yourself lucky user my gym still uses plates made from recycled dumbbells

This year's penis inspection day was actually pretty fun.

Fapped to that cuckold pic