"Wow user, have you been like, working out or whatever? You should come to zumba with us on Tuesdays if you want"

what did xe mean by this?

>tfw no twink gf(male)

2bh it is pretty gay to go zumba

lol fuck that shit I'd rather get cozy in Azeroth any day of the week... the vanilla wow servers are out why is anyone even fucking around with shit like this.. Veeky Forums is a fucking joke

...

>Sure. Are there going to be any good looking girls there?

>thinking I won't notice the girl on the left clearly stole someones shoulder gains

I'm on to you goblin

The only good thing about vanilla was the community and good luck finding that on any server official or otherwise.

So you're saying negative things about vanilla wow ? Do you know how wrong that is if you. It's just not something you should be doing mate, vanilla wow was sick lol.. maybe you just don't know about it but it was good... watch some videos maybe don't be posting silly comments ok

>zumba
>twerking
>existing past the year 2000

Zumba is the GOAT of cardio, it's hard as fuck

Every Zumba instructor I've met has been fat as fuck, and the crowds usually don't look much better. Fuck no

>>>/cuckoldgeneral/

If you don't know what it means, then you're just not alpha enough

Who hurt you, son?

Been bullied by girls my whole life

2nd year of UNI
>some pretty girl that is in my class and I have afew mutual friends
>Its an 8:00 class and I always go get food from the dining hall first
>its always empty except for her and her friends, me, and afew other people
>She invites me to sit with her because i have a shyness that is criminally vulgar and would not want to impose or force my presence on them as I feel I always bring down the mood
>always sit with her and her friends and quietly eat my breakfast
>she always makes an effort to talk to me(i think either out of pity or out of sadism to watch me squirm )
>she always has on what appeared to me to be the most fake smile and the most nefarious giggle when we conversed(I suspected she was attempting to subtly mock me)
>end of semester finals time rolls around
>Im autistic and good at math so she tells me we should study together
>I try to avoid it so I dont seem desperate
>she insists takes my number and invites me, I am sure to seem reluctant so I do not seem desperate
>show up at her room at the agreed upon time
>she is wearing really short tight booty short/pajama things
>she starts cuddling up next to me >mfw
>eventually she is sitting in my lap wiggling around I can literally feel the heat from of her banana hole
>im in a full blown panic at this point
>she says something about me being comfy and does a 100% evil and knowing laugh, and puts on some fake smile, that triggers my insincere senses
>something is wrong here but I cant put my finger on it
>realize that she must have friends hiding in her closet that want me to make a move so they jump can laugh at me and she would say something like "haha did you really think you could hook up with me wierdo get the fuck out!" and then beat me up and dump milk on me or something
>tell her I gotta run to the bathroom
>run, literally ran, back to my dorm chainsmoke a half pack and go to bed
>never talk to her again
>she trys to act innocent after

You're fucking with me right?

Dead serious my lad
I dropped out of school mainly because of the constant bullying and shit I would get from girls in my classes and outside of classes
Now I am in the army and pretty much just lift and shovel snow all day, feels good(bad) man

I am not around women at all, I still get kinda down when I see pics of women because biologically I "want" one to love me, but at the same time I know they will only hurt me. Its like im biologically programmed to hurt myself

yfw paranoid autistic

She wants your dick and likes you, you absolute faggot.

How do you imagine women make the first move if not like this? Stop victimising yourself retard.

At least this b8 had some effort put into it

>in the army
>biologically programmed to hurt myself
This is certainly a smart decision

Just keep lifting I guess

This has to be b8. I really want it to be.

Dude.
>She invites me to sit with her
>always sit with her and her friends
>she always makes an effort to talk to me
>she always has on what appeared to me to be the most fake smile and the most nefarious giggle (or she likes you which is why she laughs at everything you say)
>tells me we should study together
>she insists takes my number and invites me
>she is wearing really short tight booty short/pajama things
>eventually she is sitting in my lap wiggling around
How the fuck do you reach the following conclusion from that?
>realize that she must have friends hiding in her closet that want me to make a move so they jump can laugh at me and she would say something like "haha did you really think you could hook up with me wierdo get the fuck out!" and then beat me up and dump milk on me or something

What in the everloving fuck?

Either you're baiting or there's something seriously wrong with you.
Either way, reading that made me sad.

Since you memers are enjoying it and your my only real "friends" per say, heres another, I dont even cringe anymore im so fucking depressed

>20 years old (still in college)
>at a small party/get together with a 10 or 15 people
>probably only invited because they know I could dedicated drive(After doing a ton of psychedelics a few moths before this I literally could not put down a sip of alcohol without getting sick)
>One of the hosts is a QT girl ive know and been friendly for afew years
pic i NOT HER, but she has that type of look
>she says she feels bad Im not drinking and asks if I want to 420 blaze it with her
>we go in her room and smoke figure its good im not gunna drive for afew hours, I just got there
>when we are done one of the people I drove gets all worried
>tell her not to worry about it ill be good in a little bit
>few hours passes im 100% sober and good to go
>girl who I smoked with earlier pulls me aside and asks if im sure im good to drive
>me:”yeah im fine dont worry”
her: ”you know if your not you can sleep here” she says putting a hand on my shoulder
>me: ”no im good”
her: “Dont worry I wont make you sleep on the floor or anything you an sleep in my bed” she said as she smiles and leans on me
>Im getting wicked defensive at this point and say in a really mean tone“Liz im fine, I smoked like 3 hours ago! I'm 100 good to drive, not dont worry”
>realize afew days later I could have fugged her
>still a virgin

I was invited to hot yoga by these two girls I know. Was much harder than I expected. Very cleansing. The hardest parts were that I had to confront injuries I knew I had but somehow managed to avoid addressing. Also the lack of oxygen.

Next step is sex dummy. You start making out, then you have the sex. Even if this scenario played out like you think it might have. Just get up, say something along the lines of "Jesus, you people are fucking retarded and weird". And leave.

>It really happened

>>>/TRP/

>You start making out, then you have the sex
yeah just start making out and have sex man! XD

youtube.com/watch?v=FsMR_eH7KQ4

Its literally that easy

That's literally what happens though.

>a few days after
>I'm depressed
>girls bully me

Either fake and gay or you are a pussy who is afraid of sex. Were you castrated at birth or something Jesus fucking Christ.

dude

>imply I would post here were I not afraid of the mystique of (((sex))) and love

You should commit suicide and leave these posts printed out as your suicide note

confirmed bait and severe autism

nice effort though

off to /pol/ you go

>tfw you can only wish things like this would happen to you

2017 will hopefully be the year I kill myself

You read them and you say to yourself "If only that had been me, Id live happily ever after", but the truth is you'd fuck it up too, maybe not in the same way, but you WOULD fuck it up

youtube.com/watch?v=5tuf59ex-U0

Samesies, I'm kind of envious of anons who have women pay attention to them.

>mfw four years from wizardry.

...

>projecting

No offense but if you're 21+ and never had a gf, you are so far behind it's not even worth worrying about anymore. It's not going to happen. Even if it did, which it won't, you would be so inexperienced she would drop you in 1 day. You have to understand girls are hooking up and having relationships from the age 13 onwards. You're a fully grown man and you haven't even held hands. You cannot recover from that.

Thanks for the pasta.

I never said I would. I just want the courage to kill myself.

>not being prepared to go full berserk-mode and kill every single one of the hiding bitches

Everybody's bashing, but I know full well that this is exactly what I would do in this situation.
I instinctively don't trust any girl who shows any interest in me.

>yfw born with cleft lip
>ugly as fuck, no hope youll ever get a gf
>there are literal retards that women throw themselves on and they still cant get laid.

unbelievable.

Could be worse. You could have a cleft lip and be autistic.

Like me.

I know that feel, fellow paranoid autistic. Stay sane out there, brother

As two other anons pointed out. Yes this is what happens when you have sex.
If you think getting a boner will offend her, you are wrong.
The easiest way to enjoy life is to remember that every other human being, even the smartest, funnest, best looking ones have no idea what the fuck they are doing.
Confidence is literally the ability to fake it successfully.
"Oh user, are you hard?" Just say yes, laugh and whip it out.

heeelllooo reddit, good to see you around, its been a while, great post, have a good weekend too

I've never been on reddit, so I don't know what constitutes a post from reddit.

I'm an ancient fag on 4chins.

all those girls are Veeky Forumster than me >:(

huge kek
>can't be serious?

wtf my nigga

>Stale pasta
You have to be a sad sad man to post negative pasta on a thread full of anons trying to make it.
You are not going to make it.

This shit happened to me too bro, some chick got me drunk, pulled my pants down and put it in her mouth, i got a chubb and started feeling all funny and leaked in her mouth i was super embarrassed but didnt say much other than sorry.

She keeps fucking following me since, i dont know what to do. All her friends keep giggling at me.

>21
>fully grown man

>tl;dr
LOL

Go to bed, /r9k/.

>mfw i wish i was bullied that way

>You're a fully grown man and you haven't even held hands. You cannot recover from that.

is it really that embaressing? is there really no hope for me?

Dam that pic is me right now. 522 AM on w Thursday night(Friday morning actually) and can't sleep. All I did today was hit the gym for a while.

This is bait designed to make us remember all the times we autistically turned down women.

Don't fall for it.

include me in the screencap

>>>/pol9k/

She actually did want to fuck you, you autistic moron.

noice black flag

Kek

But I have DND on Tuesdays

this faggot makes me angry to look at
anyone else get that? like I think it's his annoying face, then how pathetic he is kicks in and I just want to kick his ass

...

DELETE THIS!

Holy fuck. No. Do not listen to this asshole. There are all types of women who want all types of men.

"Just bee yourself"

there are a shitload of shy girls who would love to date a virgin or an equally awkward faggot like them. Come to Seattle.

desu if you can't relate to this you don't belong on Veeky Forums.

I want to believe this is true, because this makes me look socially adjusted by comparison.

Oh come on, I believe this one , mainly because I fucked up in a lot of situations, similary, but this just has to be b8. I would understand, if he dropped his spaghetti, but the sheer paranoia is unbelievable.

However, both screenshots go straight in my fit autism folder

GET AWAY FROM ME REEEEEEEEEEE

Shit, nigga.
The only time I rejected a girl was when she asked me to prom and I thought she was joking, but this shit is next level.

Lol I remember being 16 met some random literal 10/10 sloot who asked for my number. She was from Finland and weird as shit which explains a lot, but she invited me to the movies

>Lay down on seats since nobody around
>Process to tongue fuck this girls mouth
>Get diamonds
>Grab her and pull her close
>"Oh user is that..."
>Smile
>Asks if I'm a virgin
>"No, are you?"
>She is
>Grabs my weiner through shorts
>Leave movie early
>She drove her moms van to the movies
>Proceed to have the worst sex ever on the floor of this van in the movie theatre parking lot
>Came inside of her
>We make out some more and then leave

FAST FORWARD

>Texting 24/7
>Asks me what I want
>Say a girlfriend
>Ask her what she wants
>A RING
>tfw we are both 16 years old
>I freak out and cut all contact with her
>Could have had much more sexual fun with her if I hadn't cut contact

I'm 24 now and she recently added me to facebook. It turns out her father helped back one of the major internet companies of our time and she has been traveling the world enjoying being rich as fuck. I really dun goof'd on this one

>Qt invited me to pilates
>Mentioned how she "just wanted to get laid" in a convo
>"You're my only friend who I think could keep up, haha"
>Came to the gym with me too and we had a "fun day out"
>I assumed I was just her platonic male friend
>People in bars would literally assume we were dating
>At one point I was sitting down at a bar/club and she came to find me, which required her leaving her dancing which was her reason for coming
>Random woman comes up to me and says "I think she wants you to take her dancing"
>We got drunk and I was whining about some low self esteem crap and she basically stopped me and just said "You're actually really attractive. I can't believe you didn't know"
>Her ex (friend of mine) gets insanely jelly when we're ever talking; later find out it's because she always seems to be doing the same stuff to me she did before they started dating
>At parties we often go together, and more often than not we'd be in a corner together talking by the end
>Never make a move
>Kick myself for that daily
>Now she's a fembro, so it worked out OK
>If I ever break up with the gf I acquired, she'd make a pretty good wingman

I fapped to this

Why do people post this image?
There is nothing remotely appealing about the left half at all

bad experience aye?

Bro, if they invite you somewhere its not because they want to make fun of you. Girls dont do that.

I had a chick invite me to crossfit. I declined because she was fat and old and has 3 kids. Cant kek a kekker.

Correction, girls beyond highschool. forgot Veeky Forums is all kids these days.

Beta cuck who cant appreciate purity detected

Nigga you seriously need professional help.

wow now I finally understand that is actually, unironically the same fucking person creating all these threads for years. user you have a problem, seriously please get professional help or you will never be happy in your life.

actually I have a friend who just turned 25 and had his first gf at 24 and they are together for over 9 months now.

>Could be worse

You could be a gay quadruple amputee & a POC as well