Help wanted

Highschoolfag here
yearbook cucks want to interview me on my """routine"""
I am a senior and have a good rep for being fit, so whatever I say will definitely be printed as long as its not too obviously fake.

I need as many dumb and stupid exercises that plebs will believe are legit and part of a routine so that i can prank the yearbook cucks and every senior paying loads of money for the shitty yearbook

Eg. High Volume Military Jumping Jacks, superman back Hyper extensions, anything crossfit-esque

note:
any sort of fake fit lifestyle tips would help too (when i have my bowel movements, stupid shake recipes, etc)

Side ways squats say you lay down on your side and hold a 45 plate above your head and preform a squat motion

2-hands press

>implying this isn't a legit exercise

good luck with the sick trollz kid

high volume jelq until failure

A fucking terrible one

seated bicep twists , barbell lat press, weighted handstand squats, rotary neck deadlifts.
Make sure to mention SS plus Gomad

Yes all day this

mega kek

romanian (pelvic) thrusts

just add romanian to anything for added legitness

Meme ur highschool to ss+gomad watch ur friends gain freshman 50

OP here
I will add it to the very end of the interview
the girl interviewing me is a dumb bitch

Upright Barbell Rows Underhand
Weighted neck swings with neck harness
Bicep jerks
Weighted jumping jacks
Rotatar cuff swings (lol)

contribute fag

>rotary neck deadlifts

jelq?

Bro you have to add jelqs for max gains are you fuckin gay?

>Squats and deadlifts are bad for your joints.
>High weight low reps for hypertrophy.
>Use osmium weights
>Don't squat in curl rack

tell them you use the gomad diet

OP here

proof

This
SS + GOMAD

what kind of a name is ciclily lmao

>nobody mentioned sips

italian, i presume

>whats your fifth period?
Being a man I never even got my first period.

Recommend that people activate their almonds

An hour of kegels daily

wat do if she asks what GOMAD is

LOL retard, it's clearly Oioily

highlight of my day

Gallon of milk a day

Tell her the truth. Gotta be straight faced and confident about it though

Explain gallon of milk a day as if you were serious.
Easy way of getting calories and protein for a positive energy and nitrogen balance, hypertrophy city up in that biznitch.

OP will fuck this up for sure

"G-G-GOMAD asdsadfdasf BLWARRRHAHAHA"

zumba and wii fit

lad you better post it here in spring if it gets printed

no one will care enough to remember this

knowing u niggers, OP wil probably get backtraced and identity raped

>good rep for being fit

(20 pec flexes, 32 ab exploderz, 8 trap pumps) x3

wats ss

Waffen-SS

bamp

Just recite the sticky

overhead deadlifts

Tell her that your diet plays an important role in getting fit
Also tell her about calories in and out and stop blaming your Genetics

SS + GOMAD

Fuck your forced meme

OP, say 4scoops, but never say of what.

...

Hey, the neck-slung ring dead press push is no joke user.

100 squats
100 sit ups
100 push ups
10km running

EVERY.
SINGLE.
DAY.

Actually forget the above and just put this, it's more of a meme than SS+GOMAD at this point.

How about this, op. You tell her that you have good genetics ('muscle just seems to grow on me') and when you're in gym you do whatever.

Name a few accessory excercises, biceps-triceps-whatevers. Normies don't know what and why.

Barbell flyes are a must

Um why not just fucking help people better themselves if they look up to you and trust your opinion? You sound like a psycho op.

"Oh I just do a lot of cardio."

No.

Tell her you're only SWOLE and SEXY and shit because of genetically predetermined HEIGHT, FACE, and FRAME

Kekd

be sure to mention the benefits of using a squat plug for depth

>high school
>uses "cuck" unironically
It checks out. Please leave.

You will hurt somebody. Don't.

wah look at me I have empathy I'm a faggot

THIS!

romanian hamstring crunches

Towel rows

To be fair, if someone with limited or no exercise experience did this every single day they would get in pretty great shape comparatively.

shit to mention in your interview:
>first thing you do when you wake up is slapping yourself for discipline
>squat on the toilet while pooping
>sleep on your back with hands above head
>eat a lot of dairy and gluten it makes you grow taller, Scandinavians almost exclusively eats this (to fuck with Asian manlets)
>never stretch, it makes you weaker

Just tell her the American Psycho routine.

>Rotary neck deadlifts

Why did I lose to this so badly

This.

Not lies, jokes or trolling, just the most clear message that 'everyone who is fat chose to be fat using gluttony and sloth'.

The other guy said it better. I'm too bitter and nasty.