>22 year old virgin >9/10 colombian shakira body-double at the gym hitting on me for ~2months >tell her I'm going for my CPT >she says "well you don't need a license if you want to train me user."
>4 hours later >we're undressing >grab her ass and turn her around, heart going 200 mph >this is it, this is really it >pull her ass cheeks apart >room fills with the smell of rancid cheese and funk >there's a thick yellow film over her asshole like mustard >pause for like 10 seconds >"I can't.. you have like.. " >she reaches around immediately and checks what i'm talking about >she smears it on her hand on accident >she yells and wipes it on my wall >apologizes frantically while getting dressed >she jogs home (it's 20 degrees out here in seattle)
WHY ARE WOMEN SO DISGUSTING I CAN NEVER GET MY FIRST TIME BACK
Liam Ortiz
Is this supposed to be a progression of the BRRRRRAAAPPP meme?
Tyler Long
Eww
Hunter Evans
idgaf would have still FUCKED, unlike you low test beta virgin
Julian Ramirez
REEEEEEEE
Camden Taylor
never spread the asscheeks of a rando, user, just go under and in. anyway didn't you have a condom? so who cares? if you didn't, you're a dumdum
Thomas Hernandez
>Not using mysterious ass cheese as lube
Nevergonnamakeit.
Ian Mitchell
Thanks op, you just put me back on no fap track
Isaiah Rodriguez
Goddamn man you gotta account for stuff going to be around a girl's butt, they are a human. Gross stuff happens ina nd around butts. Shoulda just not sperged and put it in her vagoo no questions asked.
There's always next time.
Jacob Lee
Fucking lol, you shattered her
How are you not happy about this?
Carter Watson
>just had my FIRST experience with a woman >ALL WOMIN HURR DURR fucking kys
Blake Kelly
This. Destroying an attractive woman's self-confidence is better than sex. Now hit her up and fuck her in the shower.
Nathaniel Jackson
why, thats awfully rude of you to spread her asscheeks user, if i did that to you i would still have the common courtesy of penetrating you until you passed out from the smell of your ass cheese
Robert Watson
she didn't 'freshen up' beforehand? don't all women usually do that? surely she would've quickly made sure she was clean before fucking you
Joshua Nelson
>she yells and wipes it on my wall
On your wall? My dude... hope you painted over it lol Still should have fucked her though. You probably humiliated the poor mujer. I feel worse for her than I do for you, OP.
Jeremiah Powell
>there's a thick yellow film
It's called shit
Leo Wood
I came yesterday inside my girlfriend
I did it again today, she's on the pill but I'm still scared
am I fucked /b/ros?
Cooper Parker
>/b/ros Yes you are fucked.
Jace Moore
If you wouldnt have children with her you shouldnt be together
Luis Phillips
This. Now you can hit her up again and laugh about it. Call her. Take her out. Play your card right and you will have already broken down many many emotional walls and will have her wrapped around your dick.
Then you can do as you wish.
Justin Thompson
level 5 neg, nice work
now that she knows who's boss hit her up again and the pussy is yours
Nicholas Rivera
Oh sorry user I....BRAAAAAAAAAAAP
Michael Brooks
We need to have more threads like this. That way we can all enjoy a lastig nofap session
Jose Parker
>being this much of a faggot wew
Xavier Cruz
Found the kissless virgin
Luis Phillips
>traditional thinking >being a faggot By this logic your grandfather and everyone before him were faggots
Thomas Rogers
I agree but i got married at 18
Feels good not being westerner
Julian Allen
>girl has a little bit of shit on her asshole >better sperg about it What exactly did you think was going to be between her asscheeks?
Ayden Kelly
Traditional thinking in this time and age, yeah
Xavier Price
I'm going to fucking vomit
Robert Lewis
sex sucks i didn't even feel it just felt numb
Noah Martin
Sounds hot OP
You should have thanked her for her delicious ass aroma
Carter Gutierrez
>implying this chick is wife material If she wants to be fucked for fun, she will find someone willing to do it, so it may as well be OP.
Adrian Sanchez
You should have fucked her missionary for a bit and then jumped to other stuff
Jace Hill
Guess it makes sense. Not used to people refering to their cum bucket go-to whore as girlfriends
Nathaniel Hernandez
you fucked a girl after she worked out and you're surprised that she wasn't fresh and clean? what kind of a retard are you?
Xavier Ramirez
That's hot why would you stop?
It would just turn me on more.
Josiah Bailey
Welcome to the gay club OP. Now you can achieve Godhood.
Isaiah Robinson
>thick yellow film
What the fuck?
Poo isn't yellow..
What was it?
Really making me ponder...
Kayden Reed
>seattle what gym? I'll take that booty. no fucks here
Jordan Rodriguez
Doo doo butter
Thomas Hernandez
Doo doo ain't yellow doe.
Jacob Ramirez
Lel if you play your cards right she's going to come right back to you.
Logan Ramirez
Bad case of swamp ass with real infections and stuff maybe?
Parker Reed
colombian diarrhea is
Connor Phillips
Might have been that garbage supplement that keeps your intestinal tract from absorbing fat. Instead you just leak grease.
Asher Edwards
The butter is
Charles Bailey
Stfu dyel. Only fuck chicks that if by some fluke you knocked up, would prodice progidy that wouldnt be losers/manlets/dyels/ugly.
Connor Lewis
No, whatever that was, it was unacceptable What the fuck you autist I've slept with around 30 women and NOT A SINGLE ONE of them had disgusting shit like this, just a slightly smelly vag at most Do you really think woman without hygiene deserve to get anywhere near guys that take care of themselves? Fuck off
Jason Bell
Anal without lube? No problem, use butthole grease instead Might even throw some fries in there
Aaron Evans
you accidentally mistyped. you put a 3 in your post
Dominic Reyes
Take a load of this faggot
John Sullivan
Lol my last gf I nutted all up in her snatch dozens of times and she never got preggers
Nathan Taylor
lol you guys hate to admit it but this guy's right guys