New Years Horror Stories

>Asian twink takes up squat rack
>racks 185. Not bad for his size honeslty
>sets safeties way too high
>puts on a belt
>knee wraps
>pussy pad
>1/4 squats that look like good mornings
>continues to use belt for every exercise, even lat pulldowns

I've lost all hope for him.

>Walk into gym on 2nd January
>Fat women everywhere
>See a 5'4 curry skeleton with a 10kg barbell on his back doing step ups

Most of them have already given up

>Go to the Gym on Monday
>See a girl grab a curl bar with about 70lbs on it
>See her grab one of those medicine balls cut in half , and place it on the floor
>Proceeds to squat ON the medicine ball with the bar, with gym shoes that don't fit

I don't think women are inherently bad at exercising. Yet 9/10 times I see someone doing a fucking meme or retarded exercise it's a woman.

there was a girl who was squatting an empty bar with a belt and her boyfriend when I went yesterday

> guy standing on a BP bench to do BB rows
> guy wearing wrist wraps in a bench machine to do shrugs
> that one moron who does bodyweight exercises on the main floor
> that one guy who drags a bench over to the smith machine to seated OHP 10s
> that one newbie who gives me dirty looks for deadlifting

They're usually gone by the end of the month. I lift at 6h30am and they've already started disappearing

End of march-beginning of April

>tfw I lift best after I eat something so no morning workouts
>job has been scheduling me until 5 PM on lifting days
>this is when the gym and traffic is most busy

fuck

Come feel with me lad

>tfw home gym because new job, dropped £5000 a year in salary.
>tfw dropped nearly 14.3 st (200 lbs) to 11.2 st (158lbs).
>tfw have levelled out, only way to improve is to get to a gym and start SS and putting in maximum effort with better equipment.
>tfw worried about being a NYR DYEL.

There's only so far dumbells and a barbell can get me at home....but I don't want to look like a bundle of twigs.
Fuck my crippling self loathing

nothing really bad happened so far, the only thing annoying is that people are putting mats down everywhere and doing retarded bodyweight shit in the freeweight section WHE THERES A WHOLE AREA DEVOTED TO TAHT SHIT IN FRONT OF THE CARDIO MACHINES DAMN IT U FUCKING RETARDS

The Powerplate has been getting some serious usage lets just say that

>not doing compound lifts
top kek
are you even trying faggot?

>cat deadlift meme
please explain

Care to post that meme?

>Get to the gym at 7:15am
>Every rack and bench press taken by 'resolutioners' benching 40kg
>New Lonsdale/Under Armour EVERYWHERE
>Overweight married couples who joined up together, wearing brand new trainers taking up the machines (I don't give a shit, I don't use them)
>"How many sets you got left bro?"
>Don't call me fucking 'bro'. You won't be here past Jan'
>Go to locker room..
>Some dick didn't put the the cap on his shaker properly
>HALF MIXED WHEY/MILK EVERYWHERE
>2 Dyels wiping it up

Fuck this shit. I'm away with work next week some hopefully will come back to some semblance of normalcy. Just have to get through tomorrow's session.

Don't. Let nature do its job

Feel like I'm gonna pass out whenever I train fasted in the morning.

Saw two Chinese guys wearing identical clothing and doing sychronised curls in front of the mirror.

Was hard not to laugh

She's just doing what the PT told her m8

>80kg barbell bench for 3 x 5
>Break collar bone 2 months ago.
>Started weight training again on January 2nd
>Benching 50kg now for 3 x 5
>Being out lifted by the new guys
:(

I just want to workout at 1-2 in the afternoon, is it so wrong?

id tell foamroller dude to add dick to his bulk shake and fuck off

some retard was doing push ups in the sauna cringey as fuck

>spoiler: it was me

...

I went early to avoid all the new people.

Had to deal with all the regulars who had the same idea.

My gym hasn't been that bad, has me worried a bit desu.

QC bro, I was tempted to try econofitness but I went with proform instead.

Do I know you?

>guy standing on a BP bench to do BB rows
I do this every back day :^)

holy fuck that's great

never seen that before

This guy who is 6'4 on steroids, stares at everybody, is always in the gym when I'm there. Pic related. He is like 300lbs and I've seen him pull 7pl8s recently. He literally just drops the weight at the top of the lift and screams like a fucking attention whore. the entire room goes quiet and everyone stares because it's so damn loud and distracting. I have a video here from his channel a few years ago. The video doesn't scratch the surface of how loud he is. Link related

youtube.com/watch?v=FWZxgmQcE4c

Remember the BARBELL FLY guy from last year?

Today I saw something better.

EZ CURL BAR SIDE LATERAL RAISE IN THE SMITH MACHINE!

He did pic related, with a EZ curl bar +2,5kg per side in the smith machine... wot the fuck...

>These noises

College girls everywhere

>"How many sets you got left bro?"
>Don't call me fucking 'bro'. You won't be here past Jan'

one of the worst deadlifts ive ever seen holy shit lmao

youtube.com/watch?v=U0opSRenLw4

>that drop from the top of over head press

youtube.com/watch?v=iM-5L_e3Lbc

>when he slam that barbell
*i am the one with the gun*

dat sum poppers I saw right at the start?

also, um, good for using the axle bar but holy shit how hasn't this tool broken his back yet

my back hurts from watching this

Horrible form.

>improve
>SS
pick one

Where in any part of that post did it say I don't do compound lifts you dumb faggot?

You can practically hear his spine cry out in pain

Thought his spine was coming out on the second rep

RIP back

Saw a couple working out together, using both racks and wearing belts to do 65 lb box squats.

>campus closed due to weather but gym still open
>go in when it opens at 8am
>next to empty
>one of the best workouts I've ever had
>I was there for about 2.5 hours out of excitement that there were no resolutioners
>rest of the day going good, decide to go back in the evening and do legs
>welcome to hell bois
>every fucking machine is taken
>people doing lunges in the middle of the walkway
>bodyweight exercises in the free weight section
>I have a unintentional scowl on my face the entire time
>noticed a few mires but to angry to be happy about them
>temperature rises 10 degrees from all the body heat
>leave when I feel like I'm gonna pass out during deadlifts
>next day, go back to gym in the morning expecting it to be as empty as last time
>welcome back to hell bois
>just as full
>doing arms because it's the only thing not affect by DOMS
>doing close-grip bench
>fucking 20 resolutioners walk in with and old asian lady to teach them about how to use the equipment
>they all stand around the benches while the asian lady shows them how to do bench press
>more mires but even more angry

I can't wait for them to be gone by the end of the month.

>3 workouts in 24 hours
They might be dipshits but unless you're roiding or competing at a very high level somehow naturally you're a complete dipshit too.

I know, feel like shit now.
I was running off of boredom and the dopamine high from the first workout.

>185kg pr deadlift
>On course for 200 eoy
>Literally slip on some bread and take a hard landing on a staircase in November
>Bruised Tailbone, Glutes and lower back#
>Hurt to sit, hurt to stand, couldn't lie on back, taking a shit mammoth task
>Go on some strong as fuck perscribed pain meds
>Recovered now, dull pain but Doc gave me the clear
>Go in to deadlift
>70kg, 100kg, 120kg, 140kg, 160kg
>Somethingiswrong.jpg
>Try to lift 165kg
>Sudden agony like someone just knifed my anus
>Rush to bathroom
>Blood in underwear

I'm scared as fuck right now

This is my experience with that;

>hey, uh do you usually squat facing away from the rack?
>LOL NO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME OMG I NEVER WORKOUT LOL
>....just a tip so you dont mess up your back try backing out of the rack. its easier to re-rack after your set
>HAHAHA OKAY LOL THANKS
>*grabs her things and leaves immediately after 1 set*
>mfw

...

Like...on the ball part? or the platform that holds the ball? BOSU ball stuff is legit though.

go to the doctor jesus

>lat rows
Surely you're also one of those 5 new faces.

>raped by your deadlift
my condolences

Everyone is afraid to ask to work in with me.

not been so bad for me as i go when gym is dead. Had to go at 4:30 today though and what an eye opener...
>counted 4 seperate groups of guys training only biceps
>one middle age man curling in the only good squat rack

>guy doing only bodyweight and weird af stretches between each set one was pic related but imagine one leg like that and the other as though he was about to do a push up

>DYEL comes in, racks 1pl8 onto each side of bench press
>fails first rep but manages to get it high enough to rerack on lowest catch
>looks around to see if anyone was watching, like 3 people were
>quickly grabs his stuff and leaves

Like holy fuck im used to the usual autists there but couldnt cope if i had to go every day at that time.

>>DYEL comes in, racks 1pl8 onto each side of bench press
>>fails first rep but manages to get it high enough to rerack on lowest catch
>>looks around to see if anyone was watching, like 3 people were
>>quickly grabs his stuff and leaves

fukin byootiful m8

she probably was just embarrassed to stretch with an audience

I know what really happened tho, dont lie

>185kg pr deadlift
>belt, straps, shoes, wraps really helped
>cant forget my trusty lifting plug!
>finished workout but forgot to take plug out
>feels good anyways (no homo)
>slip on some bread and take a hard landing on a staircase
>plug pushed into ass
>lie to doctor
>intestines slowly being ripped up by foreign object
>deadlift again
>feels like someone knifed your anus
>bleed
>continue to lie to doctor because you dont want him to write "gay" on your sheet

I face away so I can see the mirror so I know when i hit parakkek

as in on the ball part? if so theres a lass at my gym, comes in and does literally onlt that but with dumbbells and leaves

what are these ghetto ass gyms that dont have mirrors behind and beside the squat rack...? u in prison m8?

>not squatting in a 8 way mirror room
lmao nigga u in prison o sum shit lmao haha nigga shit

This is the bullshit I cannot stand when I go into my gym at 6pm

>damn

>tfw no gilfs in my gym

homedepot.ca/en/home/p.beveled-edge-wall-mirror--30-in-x-42-in.1000114322.html

>70 syrup dollars = 50 freedom bucks

...

I tend to go when it's dead so the only stupid thing I've seen/heard so far is some fat woman interrupting a PT session to ask the trainer how to use one of the "instruments."

She then spent 1 minute on a rower before going constantly backwards and forwards on a crossfit.

My gym is next to a handful of strip clubs. So usually in the afternoon theyre working out there along with the usual milfs that want to look like them. Surprisingly its the new girls that are the ones dressing with too thin of yoga pants that "Happen" to be doing squats next to me.

*BBBBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP*

"but it works better if you're close to the bench"

I went to the gym for push day. I warmed up and started with the bench press. Set of 1 plate. Then a double for 2 plates. Went up to 245 and repped it nicely but I couldn't re-rack for the life of me because my impinged shoulder exacerbated on me. I stood there just holding it up then lost power and bar pinned me. I rolled of shame then sat up and deadlifted it off me and placed it back onto the pins. I was being stared at by 50+ new year's DYELS...

feels bad man

>mfw gmilf

Fucking cheap ass americans, go to the doctor and pay whatever bill they give you

>all these people talking about doing 1/4 motion squats
>i have a bad back and have to do 1/4 motion squats

:/ I just want to be juicy even with my bad back.

My gf has some sort of shortened Achilles tendon condition that limits her lower body flexibility.

>forced her to go to Dr. and get this confirmed b/c I aint dating no pussy ass bitch

She is still pretty juicy even though she does 1/3 motion squats. She also does a lot of accessory stuff to compensate for her lack of squatting.

>pic related although its not best angle

You know your deadlift sucks when it has chapters

I bet you're the DYEL benching 1pl8 in the background of the video.

Your gym's excuse for a deadlift area is the cringiest thing I've seen this year.

hahahaha i'm crying
how is he allowed to do this shit? all the cardio bunnies look terrified!

*Braaaaapp*

holy kek

...

>not knowing what nose tork is
>being this new
damn, really is NYR in here

holy shit a Veeky Forumsizen in kingston?

Hello fellow gaels

BRAAAAAPPPPP