"Come on in user! We saved plenty of vodka just for you, you are going to drink with us, aren't you?"

it's true, past the age of 23 you are supposed to leave Veeky Forums and get a life, none of the millineals know this secret though.

>1 opportunity in your life
What do?

>Pic related
What the fuck

>not posting the crimson chin.

Back when you still got your "daily dose"? I'm still here, you're not alone...

>why are you being so mean to me user? I was hoping you'd sleep in my bunk tonight...

thats a pretty sweet Habsburg jaw in the lower left

Check it out, girls. I brought my Nintendo Switch with me.

>"Oh I just remembered, no boys allowed in our dorm. Silly old me haha... Um maybe I'll see you tomorrow"

28 years old have been here since 05

>fetal alcohol syndrome

23, can't remember a time I was not a lucky guy...

Guess I'm the only one touching my Joy-Con tonight. Excuse me while I release the tension.

>'hey user, I've got something to tell you in secret, teehee, come over here'
>'what is it?'
>'so I heard you're single and totally thought I'd set you up with my best friend Abigail. she's totally cute and really funny and you two would make such a cute couple!'
>'oh really, cool! Which one is Abigail?'
>points to the footface in the corner who sees this all transpire and glances towards you with a lonely pleading hopefulness in her eyes
>'oh errr, yeah hah errr, she's really cute, but errr well I'm already kinda seeing someone so, errr... Yeah real shame though hah shucks'
>'but user you told stacy that you were single last night'
>'errr, oh yeah hah, yeah actually I'm gay so... Yeah not interested'
>look over to see Abigails poor misshapen face sink with yet another in a lifetime of rejections, the pure dejection in her eyes causes a twang of painful empathy somewhere deep in the recesses of your heart
>spend the rest of the part nursing a drink in the corner desperately trying to avoid eye contact whilst simultaneously feeling like an ugly cunt and a horrible prick

dear lord

faggot why had you to disrupt this joke?

>points to the footface in the corner who sees this all transpire and glances towards you with a lonely pleading hopefulness in her eyes

:^(

DESU?

so is she shopped or not?

you fuck

B8?

at least her forehead is shopped, look at the bottle on top of it

>leave Veeky Forums
Sweet summer child. I've been here since 2005. 27 now and don't plan on leaving.

"You're here forever" isn't a meme.

same here, I'm 29 soon and I discover new aspects of Veeky Forums constantly

>tfw user posting is the only way you like to talk about anything

Veeky Forums is the only place you can do this with any kind of speed/reliability/quality (yes it is quality!).

If it ever goes belly up I'll essentially be a hermit.

Is this copypasta? I'm almost entirely sure I have read the second half before

I cooked it fresh. The photo reminded me of a similar experience in which I was paired up with a girl who only had one hand.
Did not end well.

Moonman's daughter.

She took the Bogda pill

...

>31
>Since end of 04

I can't quit this faggotry. I hope I'll never grow out of it to be honest. It's refreshing considering the current state of moderation/users of most sites I visit.

So fucking offensive. No place for your kind on this Mongolian Jet Engine Assembly discussion!

been here since 08, never seen it. wanna know what the fuck is wrong with here

also this is true, Veeky Forums is meant to be for 16 - 23ish year olds. Specially Veeky Forums is suppose to be for the "finding yourself" part of your life where you share life experience, some laughs and goofs with fellow anons while you figure shit out, before eventually (semi)making it with girls, job, growing up etc and move on. (Just look at every fit celebrety like tinytrip and whatnot, everyone eventually moved on)

>tfw i'm 24 and fit is just a shallow shell of what it used to be and i feel more and more out of touch (rightly so) with the young and new community that is taking over

let's see if you stick to that opinion when being older

Kinda wanna hear more of that story lad

story time user

Oh look its 2009 again!

Greentext story m8

I was 16 years old, in music class at an all boys school.

>teacher waddles in late as usual and especially out of breath for some reason, takes a while to get us all quiet
>'sorry I'm late boys but I was setting up a surprise for you in the hall. As it's the last week of term I thought it would be a good experience for you all to receive some traditional dance instruction covering the historical periods that we've covered in lessons
>oh fuck, you stupid, stupid woman
>'that's not the real surprise though boys, no, the real surprise is that I've liased with Mr.Creepo, the GCSE music teacher from the girls high school and he has agreed to bring the girls down for you to partner up and dance with
>an almost audible tightening of every lad's scrote ripples to the back of the classroom
>ahh fucking hell this is gonna be weird
>pretty sure one particularly spazzy kid down front passes out and wets himself

So we make our way through to the music hall where all the girls are waiting, all the chairs have been cleared and there's a little old lady stood by a hi fi stereo system. We all just kind of mill around awkwardly, talking to the few girls we actually know.

>'Okay everyone, listen up, before we begin I'm going to need you to partner up with each other. Now all you handsome young men find yourself a pretty girl and take each others hand, we're going to have a ruddy good time!'
>Ahh you diabolical fucking cunt
>Start wandering through the group as the few pretty girls are rapidly paired off with the more forward lads
>Pass through the more homely ranks, still too indecisive and gutless to grab one
>Keep walking until I reach the back of the hall with the other misfits who, even at that point, refuse to partner up and just stand shuffling, looking at their feet, the ceiling... Anywhere but at each other
>Old lady comes over and starts pairing us of one by one

cont

I remember user, I remember.

t. old loser

>Look up and see this chunky lass moving closer to me
>I recognise her, her name is Jess, she was born missing most fingers on her right hand
>Oh no, oh fuck no, gotta fucking duck th-too fucking late, old lady grabs my hand, drags me over and slaps it firmly on Jess' fat fleshy nub.
>she looks at me apologetically, but also hopefully, with a kind of inquisitive half smile... Begging me not to make a scene
>nubby little finger on her hand starts to wiggle and tickle the inner edge of my hand
>Can hardly breathe, just trying to ignore it
>Old lady pipes up 'Oh you make some fine couples, now don't be afraid of one another, go ahead and lock your fingers together and we'll start our first steps of the waltz'
>As soon as she says this Jess looks at me, makes a little weepish yelp noise as her eyes start to glisten up, little tears beginning to form at the corners of her sad doleful little eyes
>'Say, err Jess, err how's it going, haha, this is fun right?'
>She just stares at me as her lip begins to tremble

We started going through the waltz and I was just managing to keep it together when the old lady comes over

>'Come on you two, get closers to each other, really embrace each other. Hold her tight young man, you're so lucky, come on really feel the dance, really squeeze her hand'
>As soon as she says this Jess bursts into tears
>She's fucking wailing, balling her eyes out, the music stops, everyone stops dancing and just looks right at us, me still grasping gingerly onto her knobbly fat stump, her doubled over heaving up huge wuthering sobs.
>'H-h-hee won't h-hold my hhhhaaaaaaand' she wails between tears
>'H-h-heeee t-thinks I'm uuuuuuggly!!'
>At this point I look around and see every fucking girl in there just giving me daggers, looking at me like I just shit on a baby or something
>'user you're such an asshole' one of them shouts

cont

"Now here's a little lesson in trickery."

>'H-h-hee's beeeeing hooorrible!!'
>Let go of her hand
>'Heh, sorry, I err mean, I don't err think that It's just errr not easy I mean, I mean look I don't err know'
>'H-hhe h-ha-haaaates me coz of my haaaaaandd'
>Old lady comes over
>'What is the matter with you young man, hurting this lovely girls feelings, why don't you take her by the hand with a proper mans grip, stop being such a coward!'
>blurt out 'but she hasn't got any fucking fingers has she'
>The females in the room collectively shit a fucking brick, all hell breaks loose, start getting called every name under the sun, look around for support from my bros but they're all desperately trying to hide their laughter
>Get sent to the headmaster's office for 'bullying', look back on the way out and fatty Jess is sat surrounded by the pretty girls stroking her and shooting me evils.
>Become known as a piece of shit for a few weeks before it blows over.

Needless to say I wasn't popular with the ladies before and even less after that happened. To this day I hate my music teacher for that. What kind of bint thinks awkward, hormonal kids are going to take well to that kind of thing?

>but she hasn't got any fucking fingers has she

alpha

how in the world is that your fault

>mix with zero calories soda
>estimate calories from vodka later
>subtract cardio from plowing one of them

does anyone have the original? you can clearly see by the warped 2L behind her head that it's shooped

He's a straight white male, obviously.

...

>blurt out 'but she hasn't got any fucking fingers has she'
Do you think things would have been better, if you had said "but she is so fat, that she will probably eat me"?

Thanks for the story user, I laffed

Can you imagine the smell in that room?

Fuck off degenerate whores

I remember this.

I feel nothing since it's only a shoop

Vodka? You guys know me real well :-)

>the Crimson Chin enjoys a drink and social relaxation after a long day

I started Veeky Forums when I was a freshman in uni.
I'm a dentist now so it's been a while...

...

well i'll be darned, in all my years on this site i've never seen the original

>pour just zero calorie soda
>pretend to be drunk
>be on top of game and fuck the drunk sluts
>cardio + no added calories
win - win

You're not completely surrounded by newfags. I've been here since 2011 and I'm starting to feel less new now so you have a bit of company user.

all jokes aside, i've never been in a room with that many females at the same time. Can you smell their pussies in the air? I mean, when you walk in do you just get a faint whiff of fertile puss?

>this is my fetish

Holy fuck she's not even bad looking
Or is this the shop?

thanks alot user
i gotta boner again

Damn I can feel the awkward tangibly

I've been on Veeky Forums since I was 12, I'm 20 now. I'm still young but I can barely remember a time where I wasn't here... What Veeky Forums can do to a child...

I know right! Smirnoff is god awful

holy shit qeq

I don't think I'd hit any of these women... Maybe the one on the top bunk looking to the right...

youtube.com/watch?v=7QoikcECHqM

In a word: yes

You have one weirdass teacher.

what does it smell like

mexican food

No. The hot girls already have boyfriends and they're probably going to try to pawn the fatty-friend onto me.

"I was hoping you'd never ask."

>implying the fatty friend doesnt have a boyfriend too
Nigga, youre being awfully optimistic

Cant, alchohol's bad for gains

>get too drunk
>end up with a girl
>dick goes limp after foreplay and fall asleep

Every time.

I can feel their stares

First thing I thought of

>feet
>sweat
>alcohol breath
>body spray

Is this shopped? I feel like it's shopped

Jack off with unscented lotion, and don't shower that day while wearing briefs. Check your junk smell at night, and it's pretty close to the smell of a pussy.

If she's just showered there's hardly any smell at all.

>23

Well lads if this is my last year here, it's been a hell of a ride.

It probably won't be if I'm being honest with myself.

I'm not interested in girls that drink

yeah, nobody cares, fag.

>those women didn't just hop on your alpha dick

this nigger speak got so boring baka senpai