How do I become a water bear, Veeky Forums ?

how do I become a water bear, Veeky Forums ?

you literally killed a thread to post this...

By inserting a shotgun to your face

Why do you guys ask these stupid questions?

>how do I into smeagol mode
>how do I achieve megazord mode
>what workouts help me achieve primordial soup mode

The fuck, it's not even funny anymore.

That man has acromegaly. I have it too.

It's from an absurd amount of growth hormone usually but not always from a pituitary tumor. I've got an enlarged heart and will probably die before my 50th birthday. It's really neat.

>acromegaly
post pic?

REINHARDT, I MUST SAY YOU ARE LOOKING QUITE WELL

Does it help with the gainz?

No. I have such low blood pressure I've passed out from standing up. The surgery I had only removed part of the tumor so I have to take different medications to kill some of my growth hormone. My joints feel like two slabs of concrete grinding together and every now and then my legs feel weak as hell.

On the plus side I have a big dick and huge rib cage so I look good in most shirts with hardly any lifting.

Take cold showers and go in cold water

this is the kind of response I was looking for
that's pretty damn interesting...
post a pic? do you look abnormally large

first three responses were utter garbage

>Live without food in the vacuum of space for a decade
>Survive

How does that work? Do cold showers stimulate body hair growth?

Ayyyyy

>post a pic? do you look abnormally large
I feel like enough of a sideshow as it is, sorry.
I'm 6'6" so I'm taller then most but my hands, feet, knees, wrists and ribcage are huge. Every now and then I feel a slight pressure in my brow ridge almost like a tiny balloon inflating under the skin and that means that it's growing. I still get growing pains and odd sensations through my joints. Basically I'm still growing but I'm getting weaker even faster. I'm 24 btw.

I'm trying to stay healthy for as long as I can before it all goes to shit.

dat extremophile lyf

How tall are you?

6'6"

Please tell me about your lifestyle, diet and exercies

Sorry to hear that, you freak. You're gonna make it brah :(

Stay strong bruv

sorry for your lots
post dick

>lifestyle
Pretty much the same as everyone my age. Poor and working an unfulfilling job wishing I had the means to quit and do the things I love. I definitely avoid big social places. I'm lucky that I've got a friend that has the same interests I do. I just picked up painting and I spend a lot of time fishing.

>diet
No red meat, no dairy. I'll eat some type of fish or seafood everyday, lots of vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds. Small amounts of chicken and a few eggs every now and then. I still have weeks where I say fuck it and wind up drinking everyday. I drink about 2 gallons of water a day.

>exercises
Deadlifts and barbell squats are out of the equation. As popular as they are here and with most people that lift they hurt my joints and spine to no end. I'm not concerned with absolute strength or being a hulk. For my lower body I'll do lunges, bodyweight squats, calf raises and glute bridges holding a dumbbell on my groin. Upper body is pushups, pullups, dips and dumbbell presses. I thought they were pointless but I bought a kettlebell a few months ago and doing some swings seems to strengthen my abs, glutes and lower back without any problems.

become the next André the Giant

drink 10 bottles of wine in one sitting then flip someones car because they were rude to you

you have the genetics

embrace your destiny

Andre and Peter Steele are my heroes haha.