Ask god anything

Do you think your lives make any more sense ?

Who you got tomorrow? I'm rooting for Minnesota and Jacksonville.

Yes we are a chemical reaction that was caused by randomness in the primordial oceans of this planet you created.

Depends on who prays the hardest ;^)

Tomorrow I'm buisy with an earthquake and a kid masturbating too often

Can you pls gib me a qtgf

Do you pray enough for that ?

Yeah

Did you create Satan?

god do you like mexico?

alright, I'll grant you a gf
you can choose between
> cute one whivh will cheat on you, spend your assets and destroy your heart and life
> an ugly one you'll end up hating, and hating yourself and your life for being with her

pick up one

last time I checked, I sent them the spanish inquisition

of course

Why did you make this evil asshole? Why dont you destroy him?

All part of the plan, my child.

Apparently he takes all the blame for what I do wrong

Um no you made him meaning ITS STILL YOUR FAULT.

Why did you tell jews you made the world in six days even though a day is the time it takes for this rock to spin around making that impossible?

dont blame me, I didn't write the bible

well, "days" is just a figure of speech

Then why did you tell jews its your word?
Figure of speech for what?

they drove me mad so I punished them in the desert
they carried on making me mad
so i had to write down the commandments by myself
they still didn't get it, so I drove them out of jerusalem

Did Cain rape Eve?

eve was dead long ago

I meant cosmic days, that would be 10.000 of your solar years

But I want to know if Eve was fucked by her more manly son.

how do I achieve divine knowledge of the scythians, first irish, picts, mongols, the swastika and it's pressence in civilizations all around the world?

Can heaven be scientifically analyzed?

why?

smoke the weed

Second one

>rape
No such thing. Eve was a whore who whored around with Satan, and that's how Cain was born.

So Adam was cucked? Why didnt you tell him?

Why did you tell Jews you made the world in 60 thousand years?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serpent_seed

Is hell hotter than the center of a black hole?

that's what the danube valley peoples did, right?

[spoiler]I can't smoke weed I'm schizophrenic[/spoiler]

Where should I start my search for the holy grail?

How did Lilith know your name?

you will obey The Lord Your God

Why will your creation expand until matter becomes impossible?

label me a sinner then, I ain't smoking that shit anymore

>[spoiler][/spoiler]
Can you /tv/ niggers fuck off?

[spoiler]Veeky Forums[/spoiler]

Why are you so incompetent and breathtakingly cruel?

yeah okay if you real then where was you holocaust? hmmmmmm

Why haven't you deleted this blasphemy yet?

I'm neither kind nor cruel, I'm just god

Does your name start with K?

>Minnesocucks think they can beat the Eagles
Lay off the Somali dick a little bit, Sven.

I'm not even a Vikings fan, I'm just convinced Philadelphians are the worst sports fans in America so I root against them when I can.

I never understood what's wrong with laughing at opponent's injuries. It's completely normal in Europe.

does she love me?

no

Almost got me spooked for a second.

The rapture will happen before then

Why?

You forget things?
Also, I think everyone in this thread is under the assumption that they are questioning God the Father