'That guy' at the gym thread

>that guy who ACTUALLY and UNIRONICALLY does pull-ups using the pull-up bar instead of using the supreme lat pull-down machine

The nice guy: solid body and lifts, actually knows what he is talking about even though he does crossfit and most importantly helps absolutely everyone with their form/program not even a PT

The SS autist: Mean look, talks to nobody and only does big lift, kinda look like he lifts but has higher number than he looks.

The roiders: Dont follow anything, do a couple of exercises with light weights, talk more than anything and stare at every chicks, deny any steroid usage but actually really nice folks

The teens: always in pairs, laugh at each other, use their phone constantly and takes multiple spots at the same time

The faggots: a combination between the roiders and the nice guy, they stare at every men, use roids, help everyone and are really nice

The attention whore: Always works her ass when the room is packed with men, gets angry when ignored but also when people stare and moans loudly, sometimes with a gay friend

The oly guy

Chubby manlet who snatches more than most people deadlift. Doesn't get along with anyone else in the gym because he knows he doesn't belong with the rest of the herd.

Older swole guy with full gym apparel, a retarded haircut a face as red as a tomato while he lifts

i·ro·ny1
ˈīrənē/
noun
the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.
"“Don't go overboard with the gratitude,” he rejoined with heavy irony"

>tfw when teen SS autist

JUST

>The SS autist: Mean look, talks to nobody and only does big lift, kinda look like he lifts but has higher number than he looks.
They know....

>that guy who checks his phone between sets

The Cross Twit
>supersets all kinds of stupid bullshit in a power cage for an hour and a half
>pulls equipment over to his area like it's his own personal playpen
>middle aged, usually bald or has effeminate physique, probably vegan
>neon green trainers

The Has-Been
>fat, old manlet who constantly talks to everyone, gives bad advice, gloats about how "huge" he used to be
>usually hovers around groups of high school girls and young men in their 20s
>he's actually kinda nice though, doesn't bother you if you have headphones on and look serious

Megamanlet
>manlet who wears compression pants and shirts, has amazing glutes, hams, calves, everything
>has amazing facial aesthetics, perfect blend of feminine and masculine, no homo
>never see him do compounds
>I want to put him in my gym bag and take him home

The Instagram Whore
>50% of gym time is spent taking pictures using the power cage mirror and posing with the barbell
>she won't let you work in, so don't even ask
>pretty cute, actually has decent delts despite never seeming to lift

Soccer Mom
>clogs up the free weight area doing dumb bodyweight shit
>has $800 worth of fresh gear
>thinks every man is a potential rapist

There are more than one types of irony you dumb American

Anyone who touches the punching bag for any other reason than moving it out of the way is automatically that guy.

It's always as amusing watching these dudes who bring boxing/mma gloves to the gym and then do their uncoordinated combinations. Elbow flared jabs while simultaneously dropping their guard, both feet planted firmly on the ground, kicks with no hip rotation to be seen. They then walk around, invisible lats spread, glancing around the gym acting like tough shit and trying to stare people down.

Anyone who is actually good enough to not look stupid while doing this shit trains in an actual fighting club instead of a gym chain

The fighter: full MMA gears, does acrobatic things between sets, shadow box or kick while pretending the machines are sparing partners

The daddy: always with girls half younger than him, talks constantly about being in his 40s, scream and slam weighs

The no leg frat: always in group, only do upper body, never go heavy and pose in front of every mirrors, high five themselves and use bro/dude a lot

The freak: 2/3/4/5 for reps, roids, quiet and does cardio a lot

The beta: dyel as fuck, doesn't want to be corrected, stares down every time someone makes eye contact, goes 1 time per week

I don't mind checking the phone as long as they are not spending extra time between sets because they are dicking around on their phone.

this is me
>SS Autist
Also me

The shaolin monk.
Practicing high kicks in the middle of the floor then uses the squat rack to kick the bar on its highest peg

The guy who does OHP in the squat right

Manlet Mexican: Does back machine with one plate, after each pull drop it like a rock and repeats. Says he's got 5 more sets of these and acts like I spit on his mother when I ask about how many he's got left. Looks at me like I'm a asshole when I put 3 plates each side.

fuck you

She's not the most attractive asian in the world but that rawr is is qt as fuck why can't I have a girlfriend like this

>>I want to put him in my gym bag and take him home
Kek

Pfft. OP said "'that guy' at YOUR gym," not "'that guy' at EVERY gym."

I am the SS autist to a T though.

>that guy who cooks sausage on sauna stove then eats it with mustard and beer on the locker room.

The guy who's smaller than you, has a pot belly but tells you that your form is wrong. He then proceeds to demonstrate the 'correct' form and won't leave you alone.

>the black guy who makes grilled cheese in the locker room

P-pls don't bully me I keep on adding

That guy who's bigger than you but has terrible form and you silently judge him and hope he snaps his shit.

Doesn't mean he is wrong

>strengthbro: trains for strength not size, gives advice that works but not for the reasons he says it does, genuinely nice but a bit of a dolt

>aestheics faggot: spouts zyzz memes and tries as hard as he can to project that he knows what Veeky Forums is, autismally stares at fat people with a goofy smile on his face like he expects something to happen and gets red in the face when he sees someone 1pl8

>downie: has actual downs syndrome but uses the retard strength to make retard gains, beefy as fuck, his handshake feels like thunder, gave me a surprise tardhug once and he bruised my hip

>fapbait: moans while using the smith machine as a squat rack, probably genuinely gets off on downie staring at her

>autismatron: high school kid with legit autism, starts laughing and stimming whenever he breaks a personal record, makes good progress but is socially repulsive

>I want to put him in my gym bag and take him home

>gave me a surprise tardhug once and he bruised my hip

that's cute af

Fuck you

Shit bro, you at harbor fit? That sounds like me

...

>DAD: Buff guy at his 40s, bald, constantly offers spot and form advice
>Roidguy: Ridiculously wide on the upperbody considering his height and lower bady, does meme workouts
>Powercouple: Guy is 6'3 ish Chad, beefy husbando mode as fuck, girl is stereoid big for a female, ugly manface they constantly work out together
>Burnedoutrocker: 40 yearold guy with a man bun, shaved off sides and an ear ring, has the sickest calves

>the elder: walks around with his loins out in the locker room, groans and grunts when working out in the gym, always some degree of sweaty

>tfw I smirk and chuckle whenever I break personal records
Not loud enough for anyone to hear, thankfully.

Also, what kind of social gyms do you people go to? No one speaks to anyone, unless they know eachother from somewhere where I go. I want a chance to do the "yeh, I'm just a lucky guy" shit.

The maybe gaysian:
Wears all spandex and does nothing but squat and lunge variations followed by impressive bodyweight shit like windshield wipers. Has a better ass than any girl in the gym.

>the guy that doesnt talk to anybody, doesnt listen to music, doesnt make eye contact with anyone, sits on the floor between sets and stares at the wall, but is very fit

>the fucking loud wannabe that gets offended when people call him weak as a joke. He usually walks around the gym thinking he's hot shit and moans during work out and yells shit like "COME ON BRO, ONE MORE YOU CAN DO IT BRO COME ON" when another guy of his kind is working out with him

>the greasy middle aged loser with the slick back hair who is actually quite and tries to chat up every girl in the gym and brags about it to others in the changing room

>the fuccbois who come to the gym in trendy clothes, usually are lankets and have very "cool" hairstyles which involve gel, foam or some spray and they fix their hair every 3 minutes infront of the mirrors. They usually do retarded excersizes that benefit basically nothing but they think they look cool doing them

>the normal guy with a family, a good job, a dad body, whos friendly with anyone and has a nice vibe about him. He has good lifts and never does stupid shit in the gym. Looks like a proud guy happy with his life

>the manlets who try to compensate for their manletism and think that if they get buffed their hight wont matter as much. Sadly it will

>the roider that has big muscles and likes to show off, but lifts baby weights

>the guy that sits on the machines he's not using between his sets because he doesnt like standing

>the idiots that yell stuff to each others from one side of the gym to the other thinking they're funny and liked by everyone when in reality they piss everyone off

>the guy that does superhuman shit that no one else in the gym can do. Everyone in the gym stops what theyre doing to watch him bench 150kg or do 10 sets of pull ups 12 reps each time. He has everyone coming up to him asking for advice

>the guy that thinks he knows whats he doing and tries to give advice to everyone with his "superior knowlege"

I've literaly never seen this before

Nah, the biggest losers are the ones on /r9k/

>>I want to put him in my gym bag and take him home
>no homo

Sometimes I just need to get some energy out though.
But I don't walk around with invisible lats staring everyone down.

>The guy who does squats in the OHP rack

>>the guy that doesnt talk to anybody, doesnt listen to music, doesnt make eye contact with anyone, sits on the floor between sets and stares at the wall, but is very fit

this is me, expect from sitting on the floor

>that guy who looks like he is praying before each set
>its me trying visualize the work out beforehand

>that guy who looks like he's going to break a world record everytime he lifts 1pl8
That's me

I used to box but can't find the time any more. I actually give tips to people if I see them doing it really wrong. Like, not breathing when they are punching. I mean holy fuck. Don't forget to fucking breathe. There's a reason I can go for more rounds despite you being in better shape than me..

Cocky gymnast:
>does muscle ups on the pull up bar trying to impress girls
>well-proportioned upper body but doesn't even bench 2 pl8s
>does handstand pushups between sets
>never squats but has a nice ass from box jumps

'the strange one'

>around 5'9 + or 1 an inch
>always has his earplugs on
>Has a distant look on his face, as if he's just going through the motions
>does compounds and makes no eye contact
>stares straight ahead between sets
>doesn't talk to anyone except when asking is certain equipment is free

I sometimes do that if I go with shorts that don't have pockets. I just leave the phone at home

literally me god damn

Mate thats scary, Its as if youre describing me

Are you guys me?

Me apart from staring at walls, I try to peek at asses quite a lot. I also dont do that much compounds. Also, Im taller. And I dont use earplugs either, I have headphones.

It's like you want him to talk to you.

Funnier when it was labelled 'The School Shooter'

hi

Yep, me

I thought I was cool :(

>I try to peek at asses quite a lot.

Don't fucking do this. I know you think you're being discreet, but people totally notice.

>that guy who wears basketball shorts to the gym

That guy who makes solid gains, has top form, does not fuck around and knows his shit. He even brings his gf to lift with him.

...

The Barbell Warrior-King

>6'2 200 pounds ripped
>saw him bench 330, squat 350, diddly 520
>trains almost exclusively with barbells except for weighted chin-ups and dips
>has about 18" huge arms despite not doing a curl ever
>trains/guides about a dozen people in the gym (introduced me to Wendler 5/3/1) for no reason other than being a cool dude

The Wasted Genetic Potential Kid

>has the frame of a future Samoan powerlifting champion, sick bone structure and a textbook endomorph
>only does pump & fluff bb shit with 30 secs rest
>has an annoying partner who looks like those fags from "Smosh" at YouTube
>could be a beast with proper training

Fat-Swole Young Chick

>sister to barbell warrior-king
>stronger than most dudes
>uses perfect form
>friendly and has a sense of humour

The Has Been

>early 40s
>always strapped up because of injuries
>ego-lifts with assisted reps all the time
>slams weights with a bad-ass expression on his face
>suprisingly cool, friendly and helpful

The Nazi
>6'5 blonde male
>Very fit
>Does an abnormally large amount of front raises
>Spoke Germanic once over the phone, yelling it.
>Looked at the face of his digital watch once, and I kid you not, swastika background.

BONUS:
>Same LA Fitness where Jason Genova works out of Delray, on US1 and Linton Blvd.

>Does an abnormally large amount of front raises

Haha, that's me. They're comfortable!

There's this guy at my gym who does 1 plate snatch grip deadlifts in slow motion for a million reps in apparent agony.

fucking hell.. no earplugs, but otherwise the description is spot on, I'm also 5'9

>The guy who listens to kpop on his headphones and thinks the rest of us can't hear it