Recently (about 6 months ago) started down the path of becoming Veeky Forums. I feel fucking fantastic. I look better than I ever have in my life, for fuck's sake I have a 6 pack for the first time ever! My depression is fucking GONE. I just have one problem: as I've gotten fitter and healthier my wife has just packed on the pounds. She's always been a few pounds overweight but it was the 5-15 range, now she's 40+. How would you go about having the conversation? I don't want her to spend her every waking moment at the gym but I also can't fuck a walrus
Relevant info: >We're both 32 >Been together 8 years >Only over the last 4 months or so has she been gaining the weight >No she's not pregnant
get a gains ally instead of a gains goblin. Mine tags along to every workout, which is motivating as fuck. Also eating healthy together.
Xavier Robinson
>Mine tags along to every workout Bad news
Jace Collins
Tell her she is fucking fat
Leo Murphy
>"oh no! The fridge's power cord disconected on its own again! We cant eat all this food now!" If that fails tell her she's getting too fat and if it hurts her feelings you'll know she'll turn into a HAES actividt
Jacob Martin
>How would you go about having the conversation? You've been together for 8 years and you still need help asking your wife for something?
Just say that you're concerned about her health and that you'd like for the two of you to diet and work out together. If she saw the positive effect exercise had on you, there's no reason for her to get upset (so long as you're not retarded and turn the conversation into "you're fucking fat, I don't want to fuck a whale"). Honesty is the best policy in a marriage, and trying to weasel around your concerns helps nobody.
Jaxon Myers
>bitch i don't see u attractive anymore, lose weight or fuk off Try saying that in a not autistic way.
Camden Smith
imo you have to be firm about it. tell her how better you feel now that you work out, offer to work out together, prep meals for both of you, etc. Even then she could still blow you off completely, sadly it's her choice in the end.
just don't do some redpilled nagging shit, can't end well. there's no easy way to do it, so gl. If she's crazy though you have 0 chance of success.
Wyatt Robinson
>Just say that you're concerned about her health >If she's crazy though you have 0 chance of success Basically. If she's sane, frame it as concern for her health, and there is a good chance of a reasonable response. If she's crazy, you were screwed the minute you married her, and you might as well accept your fate.
Brandon Mitchell
Hey user. >5'4", 30 yo wife, been with my husband for 10 years now >always heavier, he married me that way >have baby and get sick, decide to get healthy so I don't die young >ask husband for support (he was just barely in the obese range) >he agrees >eats what I eat at home, doesn't bring home junk, only cooks healthy foods and works out with me. >combined lost 102 lbs in 6 months
Now some caveats: >it's easiest to make changes when your partner is making the same changes in support >it's easier to work out with someone then alone >you have to want to change to change
I suggest having an honest conversation with her. Tell her you love her but you've noticed some weight gain. Ask her if she's happy about it. I guarantee you she's not. Tell her it's not a deal breaker now but it is affecting your physical attraction to her and if she keeps down this path, you'll lose it completely.
If when she breaks down tell her you're there to help her, because you love her. Get her set up on mfp, don't eat junk in front of her and call her out when she screws up. But ALWAYS be supportive. She could probably lose the first 10 lbs in a month.
If she doesn't want to change then you need to be honest with her about how that would affect your relationship. And that you only bring it up because you want to be with her and you want to her to be happy.
If she still doesn't want to try to get back in shape and resists your advise/help, I don't know what to tell you. She might not be ready now or ever and you are not obligated to wait that long.
But if she is as unhappy about it as I suspect then maybe the honest wake up call her changes are having on your relationship might just be what she needs.
Support is critical when it comes to change in a relationship user. >wife who weighs 50 lbs less then I did on my wedding day
Cameron Richardson
Look at these responses. Do you understand now that this is not an appropriate place to ask a question like this? Why would you ask for marriage advice here? Have you seen the catalog? Like 95% of the people who post on this board have no business advising anyone about anything other than how best to completely fuck up in romantic situations. I mean seven replies in you're seeing "sadly it's her choice" followed by some "redpilled" nonsense. You see what I'm talking about? You think that guy's been on even so much as speaking terms with a woman for eight years?
Don't ask for marriage advice here. If you have to do it on the internet, you can find much better places.
Nathaniel Cook
>Don't ask for marriage advice here. If you have to do it on the internet, you can find much better places. Name one.
Not claiming this is a good place; claiming that all places on the internet are equally worthless.
Zachary Smith
>Look at these responses. Most of the responses so far have been fairly level-headed "just talk to her, dude" suggestions, what the hell are you on about?
Josiah Roberts
Holy shit a grill giving legit advice on Veeky Forums (who's not that powerlifter trappy chan or smt)
Justin Thomas
Are you illiterate?
Zachary Collins
>Are you illiterate? Are you? Have you actually read the thread? You're discounting the entirety of the advice given in this thread because, and I quote, >seven replies in you're seeing "sadly it's her choice" followed by some "redpilled" nonsense.
Nathaniel Ortiz
that picture is mean
Levi Howard
Have you tried asking her if she believes whether or not gender is a social construct?
A "yes" answer could stop you from wasting a lot of time.
Levi Adams
>it's easier to work out with someone then alone
Am I the only one? Unless you're spotting me, leave me the fuck alone. It's MY time.
Xavier Bennett
I can't name one. I don't need to name one. It's obvious enough that you could get better marriage advice elsewhere.
Imagine we're on some marriage-related board instead of a (purportedly) fitness-related board. Someone asks for fitness advice. There are many replies with terrible advice. I reply, telling OP to ask this question somewhere else because there are much better places to find this sort of advice. You reply "name one."
See? In this alternate reality, you're unaware of Veeky Forums, just like in actual reality, you're unaware of whatever the approximate marriage equivalent of Veeky Forums is. This is why I don't need to name some place where he could find better advice. It's self-evident.
Thomas Collins
You're not alone user. I walk and do body weight exercises with my husband and baby at home.
When I had a gym membership, it was sacred me time. My husband would go with me but we would do our own things and our own routines. I tried bringing a fat friend once, and it was a disaster.
I even made a fph copypasta about it that I post every now and then so I don't have to retune it up lol.
Landon Cook
user, I'm not discounting the entirety of the advice given in this thread. I'm discounting about 95% of the relationship advice given on this entire board.
Here's a rundown:
>get a gains ally instead of a gains goblin
This is over-simplistic bullshit. Categories. Psychosocial bro science.
>Tell her she is fucking fat
You want me to comment on this one?
>[destroy the food in the refrigerator and] If that fails tell her she's getting too fat and if it hurts her feelings you'll know she'll turn into a HAES actividt
How about this one?
>Just say that you're concerned about her health >Honesty is the best policy
OP "can't fuck a walrus," so the advice here is to frame his grievance as a concern for her health because honesty is the best policy.
>prep meals for both of you
Foist your newly-adopted lifestyle onto her. Great advice.
You want me to go on?
William Allen
put a cute dress on her bed that's too small for her, she'll get the picture
Liam Foster
>Been together 8 years
Tonight, when you're both in bed, rolled over to both corners, tell her this:
"You know, I've been thinking, and you're fat."
Easton Miller
PWS
POST WORKOUT SEX IS BEST SEX
Cooper Turner
>put a cute dress on her bed that's too small for her, she'll get the picture
This is actually a good strategy, you can also start making a lot of fat jokes (about others, like put on one of those TLC shows about fat people) and she'll start getting the hint.
Nathaniel Richardson
...
William Nelson
>wife gains some weight >talks about it non-stop, feels disgusting >jelly of my gains >wants to work out with me >agrees she eats like shit and needs a better diet >talks about it but never does it >finally joins my gym >excuses excuses exuses, been there 4 times in two months which I guess is better than 0 >keeps eating junk >keeps criticising me for refusing to eat junk >gets sad when I try to encurage her to just eat less crap and joing me at the gym some more >"user I'm worried about your rapit weight-loss and obsession with weight-lifting..." Yeah bitch you're worried I'll fuck your hot friends... What do? I mean she's hot even with that extra weight but I'm concerned for the health and honestly I can't take her bitching about her unhappiness with herself and giving me shit because I started working out.
Alexander Evans
>Tell her it's not a deal breaker now but it is affecting your physical attraction to her and if she keeps down this path, you'll lose it completely. How to say this without hurting her feelings
Jaxon Morgan
It has to hurt her feelings to make the impact you want it to. What's important is to phrase it in a way that shows your genuinely want to help her and stay with her. You couldn't hold your tongue anymore, and you don't want to lose that part of your relationship.
If she calls you shallow, she's being defensive. She'll claim you only liked her body. Emphasize you love her, you love her so much you knew you were putting yourself in a position you might hurt her but felt it necessary to preserve your relationship. You wanted to be honest and you want to help because you love her.
If she still is angry she might need time to think. If after time she is still angry she might not be ready to change and you at least know for sure now.
Kayden Kelly
OP here, had to run some errands so I'm sorry I couldn't get in any responses sooner. The advice has been pretty much what I expected. is pretty spot on with what I'm going through. It's like she resents my being healthy, and up til now she's been a pretty sane person. Like I said she's always been a little overweight but recently she's started ballooning. I suspect it's the fat bitches she works with (elementary school teacher, 90% of her coworkers are morbidly disgustingly obese, triple back tits heavy). Going to try to get her to start going to the gym with me, I feel like if I could only get her to put in a week of effort she'd see results and want to continue. Going to go with 's advice, nice to not be the only married person here
OP here, as it turns out you can post things multiple places on the internet. Veeky Forums has always had good personal advice for me so I thought I'd see what you guys had to say. Sure, some of it is bound to be trolling and worthless, but truthfully the majority of people who bothered to post were legitimately trying to be helpful. You on the other hand are clearly the cancer that you despise so much. You've posted the majority of shitposts in my thread, while arguing that shitposting is a problem here. Hmmm.
Adam Thomas
>a batshit morbidly obese femanitee throwing a tantrum because a husband is privately discussing a fitness related problem on an anonymous imageboard
Holy shit go away
Michael Edwards
As the husband you need to be the leader. You don't need to outright call her fat, but take charge of the situation and let her know she will be eating better from now on. She needs to know that you're doing this because you love her and care about her and her health. Do not accept any bullshit tantrums from her. If this happens, treat her like a child and don't back down. t. Happily married man
Thomas Gonzalez
Wow guys. Fun's over. The Veeky Forums police is here to make turn this board into what it was always meant to be: a respectful place of caring and nurturing.
Surrender your keyboards criminal scum.
>You want me to go on?
Oh fuck it really means business.
Adam Miller
Bro you aren't married, real life doesn't work like that
Cameron Reyes
t. passive aggressive bitches
Owen Smith
Fucking kill yourself.
Ryan Thompson
>just don't do some redpilled nagging shit, can't end well. there's no easy way to do it, so gl. If she's crazy though you have 0 chance of success.
This.
Ryder Mitchell
Just convince her to get fit. Start counting her calories, annoy her with her weight. I did that to my father and got him to start losing weight before I moved out. Now he's fat again.
Nicholas Gomez
>"Everyone gives such bad advice don't listen to them, I have nothing useful to say but look at this bad advice lol bad advice is bad" I'd post a neckbeard tipping his fedora but even they would make a better comment
Hunter Morales
>early 20s >flabby/no muscle >somewhat chubby >bad posture + atp >sleeps 10+ hours EVERY DAY >if not in bed or at work (cashier), she is sitting around watching tv >complains about headaches all the time >refuses to exercise, or complains a lot when she is pushed to >because she 'is tired'
What do?
Benjamin Barnes
I used to be like that when I was fat too. Vicious cycle of bad habits making you feel bad and feeling bad making you have bad habits. I wouldn't know how to make someone like this change because I only changed by myself
Dominic Collins
You post this comment under literally the most helpful response in the whole thread. Do you feel like an idiot yet?
Aiden Cox
so for you guys that are dating or married to fat chicks did you both start out fat or what? maybe it's because i'm young and live in the city but i see Veeky Forums single girls everywhere so it just boggles my mind when guys on here complain about their girl being fat
James Lewis
I'm fit, my girlfriend is fit, and we've been together from ages 18 to 29. I've asked for no relationship advice on Veeky Forums, nor have I taken any relationship advice from anyone on Veeky Forums.
If any of you geniuses think any of the advice I pointed out there is worth anything, then you deserve that type of advice. I'll leave you to your tfw no gf threads.
Ryan Sanchez
Lol
Isaac Taylor
Stop having sex with her. After a while have her "accidentally" catch you jacking off to a picture of her when she was skinnier.
