Veeky Forums I'm in dire need of help. Last resortsies

>be 23 yrs old and college grad
>cant find job cuz I have no xp, so I decide to join the army
>army tells me I have to lose 30 lbs and be able to do 55 push ups in 2 minutes, 50 situps in 2 minutes, and run 1.5 miles in 11 minutes
>this was 6+ months ago. Have missed two board meetings
>final opportunity is March 3
>still have 25lbs to lose, am not sure I can meet the push up or running requirement

Here is my workout schedule:
5x10 pushups. 10 minute rest between sets
45 minutes of cardio (I kinda havent been doing this lately)
100 bodyweight squats
50 sit ups.
I do this 3 times a week.

I also try to watch what I eat, by eye-balling it.

Also, is beer and weed bad for gains? I hope not. they are soooo good.

nothing about your post is saying that you are going to make it

i don't want you in the military desu. you'd drop out anyway

from your post i can tell you're a weak bitch

fix that and get employed

This has to be bait

I'm a friend of OP, this post is for our friend who is the literal green text. Sadly, this is real

>last chance at success
>can't even come close

wew guess he's destined to fail at life then

Honestly, how should we tell him?

I have lost that weight in less time but he doesn't sound too motivated
The rest can be forced and will be easy with -25lb

i would probably never tell a friend something like that without trying to help. have an intervention or something, i dont know. but if he's fine with not getting into the military then that's what'll happen.

On the 0.00001% chance this is not a troll:
>120 seconds continuous push-ups
>Doesn't matter how many you do, just do push making sure to go deep enough
>If you can't do another push-up, drop to your knees and keep pushing until you hit time
>Rest for 60 seconds
>120 seconds sit-ups
>60 seconds rest
>90 seconds push ups
>Rest
>90 seconds sit-ups
>Rest
>60 seconds push-ups
>Rest
>Sit-ups
Do this every night before bed. In your days, alternate between
>Running 2 miles as fast as you can
>Running 20 minutes nonstop at the fastest pace you can maintain without slowing or stopping
Don't sprint except maybe the last 1/8th of a mile on your 2 mile days

Congratulations, you're a fucking PT stud.

>cant find job cuz I have no xp,


This is the stupidest shit. No XP does not equal no job, you're just going off what college told you that a degree = 60k starting when it doesn't. Sometimes you need to start from a lower position and work up

Not gonna make it my man.

What about diet?

>joining the military AFTER college

You're a fucking fat fuck. I hope you don't make it and you commit suicide you lazy piece of shit.

He has been told multiple times to ramp up the training and count his calories. He just ignores it. He says watches his food, but eats shitty fast food all the time. Last time we told him he replied "youre preaching to the choir". Then he has the fucking gall to say he is still gonna make it.

You've left it too late, you'll never lose the weight.

you remind me of my friend who wants to join the police (not american though, very less exigent exam I imagine).

>be able to do 55 push ups in 2 minutes
>50 situps in 2 minutes
> run 1.5 miles in 11 minutes
I could do that right now without problem and I'm about to go to sleep.

Would this work for fat people too scared to go to the gym and would prefer working out in private?

It should. Just need the will. And by the looks of it. OP doesnt.