Another Wednesday night spent on Veeky Forums

Another Wednesday night spent on Veeky Forums

AUSSIES GO HOME

THIS ABBO LAND

I just have it open on my phone no matter what I'm doing.
Typically talking to you guys when I'm taking a shit.
You're welcome.

>tfw we're all here voluntarily

Forever

>try to break up with gf
>fail

Wtf just happened Veeky Forums?

>try to break up with girlfriend
>she says no

Wtf do I do now

you break up you're having those thoughts initially better do it now buddy

Lawyer up.

I folded, I couldn't tell her to go.
We live together btw

You have to your subconscious has already gone into break up mode it'll only get worse if you're postponing the matter.

>Tfw pooping at work rn

I know, the uncertainty has been eating me alive for months now. I just want to be alone.
I just can't bring myself to do it because I think I still somewhat love her and I don't want to break her heart. Everytime I think about it I think about the times she's sweet and feel like a piece of shit. Even if she's shitty the rest of the time.

ive been there before

took me 3 tries to finally do it

i hope she's doing okay though

Of course you can just do it without hesitation you're probably thinking too much about how the other person might feel afterwards but ultimately you've made your choice to break up. It happens.
Only thing you're in love with are the memories, the past but certainly not the present user.

Sometimes you have to do what's best for you and not what's best for everyone around you user.

whoa yes i have been in this exact spot before. try to explain to her the best that you can the way that you feel and that you want to be alone.

try to get that "it's not you, it's me" thing out, like when i broke up with my gf it was along the lines of "it's not anything that you have done or said, it's just the way that i feel right now"

This just come clean with her without bull shit memes but just do it because you'll feel relieved

>try to get that "it's not you, it's me" thing out, like when i broke up with my gf it was along the lines of "it's not anything that you have done or said, it's just the way that i feel right now"
this shit is LITERAL girl talk for "yeah it's you"

fuck that don't do that explain why give the other person as much closure as you can

Literally the exact situation this girl i fancy is in. What do?

to be fair, in my case that was total honesty, but for the situation at hand, if he's trying not to break his GFs heart, it would be best to do it as smoothly as possible

maybe im biased because my girl had an awful tendency to blame herself for everything bad, but it couldnt hurt to try to make it less painful

reminder

duck out if the compromises make you miserable. duck out if you get miserable. duck out if it just makes you uncomfortable.

the goal is not to force a relationship to keep going. its to find a relationship worth keeping.

there is literally no benefit to frankensteining a relationship other than possibly sex, but you're better off withotu it if it isn't working.

emjoy the relationship for as long as you can. and if it goes south, leave, cuz all you're doing is preventing yourself from finding the good one that might last.

lasting isn't the point, it isn't the goal.

And yeah you have to take the risk of making a high stakes deal with a potentially very unstable person, plus people change. That's life, you can't play all of it safe.

If you're worried about hurting someone, DON'T, because that pain and shame will pass faster than you think but the pain of regret lasts the rest of your life!

>maybe im biased because my girl had an awful tendency to blame herself for everything bad, but it couldnt hurt to try to make it less painful
then your situation was literally "yeah it's you"

>
If you're worried about hurting someone, DON'T, because that pain and shame will pass faster than you think but the pain of regret lasts the rest of your life!

kek

Thanks Veeky Forums, I know it's what I have to do now, but it's just so damn hard. Funny how 2 years ago I felt alpha and confident for the first time in my life and now I feel weaker than I did when I was still an autistic permavirgin... I even lost most of my gains. Although I'm trying to get them back now.

I guess it was, but i'm too nice to say that because i didnt want her to hate me or hate herself.

She dealt with mental health problems a lot and one night we had a HUGE fight, a couple days after which she came to me to apologize and said she was getting treatment. I broke up with her when she was in the hospital, so i knew she'd be in a safe place with professionals who could help her. After she got out of the hospital she wanted to get back together, but after everything that had happened, i kind of shut down emotionally and just wanted to be alone.

We had a long talk in a parking lot, and driving away when it was over was one of the hardest things i've probably had to do, relationship-wise. I know she just wanted so much for us to work through things, but i wasn't good enough to bring myself to the same level of commitment that she was at

I just hope she is okay. We haven't talked since the split, today is her birthday and it hurts quite a bit because we would have had plans all day

Life is a struggle better to do it now like ripping off a bandaid only gets worse the more you hesitate.

you can't fix a person user you can either help fix herself or if that doesn't work just leave because you'll get sucked into her world of whatever it is she's dealing with

breaking up means being egoistic doing what's best for you hurts for the other person sure but it's you who were talking about feel me?

Days don't mean anything to me anymore.

yeah, i know. That's what i had to tell myself and what i keep telling myself now. Deep down i know it's ultimately for the best for both of us but god damn it hurt so much to see her cry like that when i was leaving

I did fall into the routine of trying to "fix her" and it was dumb of me to think that me being her boyfriend would somehow help her mental health solely on the basis of me being understanding/forgiving about all of it for so long

nothing that you've got to tell yourself to believe it, it's a fact.

>that pain and shame will pass faster than you think but the pain of regret lasts the rest of your life!

It'll pass user

Another _______ night spent on Veeky Forums

thanks guys. Its just a new set of emotions for me because i had never been the one to initiate the breakup. The only other relationship i was in, I was the one who got dumped...so i can empathize with how she is feeling now because it's probably pretty close to how i was feeling back then and it was just fucking awful.

Learn from it you'll make it breh

This. Unless something changes, you're going to get more miserable. God I can't imagine ever getting into that horrible situation.

If you can't split with her then the ball is in her court with a fucking electric fence round it. She'll no doubt do the breaking up at some point in the future.

I'm really grateful that Veeky Forums anons and threads like this exist

It's nice to talk about this kind of stuff without feeling like a bother to your friends

Some of us aren't into shit posting 24/7 user

how did you do it? i'm

could you explain your situation a little better? im not sure who is in what position and who feels what there

like what else am i supposed to be doing in my 'downtime'

i worked my 4 hour shift today in 33 degree heat

i got accepted on exchange to university in beijing for a 6 month exchange

I'm going strong on my keto diet

and i havnt been the gym in 3 months

like...should I have 'hung out' with friends tonight?

Sometimes I wish she would initiate it. At least that would alleviate some of the guilt. But I know I can't count on that.

Same, we should be allowed to at least have one feels thread up. It helps to talk about this shit with other like-minded Veeky Forumsizens. It's all a part of the mental process of making it.

The girl is in the same position like uncertain whether to break up for good yet she has done it twice by now. I'm the guy who she feels also drawn to yet tries again and again to make it somehow work with her bf.

But I always browse Veeky Forums at work

Grow a pair those guilt feelings will only gather more and more the longer you wait do a clean cut and be done with it like ripping a bandaid, do it quick cause slowly hurts more

Jk I browse it after work and on weekends too

send her this it helped me come to terms with what i had to do. reminded me to stop letting the good outweigh the bad /so much/ to the point where i was putting up with almost full on emotional abuse because "sometimes things are good"

Ask her if she really wants to deal with those ups and downs forever or if she wants to be with someone where she doesnt have to worry about when the next argument is going to come about and she doesnt have to think about how to break up "next time"

If you knew... we've talked about what's in that post a lot and she agreed with me every single time.
>ups and downs forever
All i get is her telling me she broke it off with him yet feels a lot for him still, which contradicts imo also guilt feelings of her and she fears her whole life crumbling which she has figured out, besides anything love related, pretty well.

>if she wants to be with someone where she doesnt have to worry about when the next argument is going to come about and she doesnt have to think about how to break up "next time"
Gonna keep that one in mind

>outweigh the bad /so much/ to the point where i was putting up with almost full on emotional abuse because "sometimes things are good"
That is also literally what she is doing to herself spot on

apart from just pointing that stuff out when it happens, when she contradicts herself, when it seems like she is emotionally manipulating herself (or being manipulated

?

Does anyone here know how to make friends on campus? Do you guys just fake being a normie and just hope for the best?

i stop using "normie" as an overall statement for everyone else who is not me for starters

hit post too early

apart from just pointing that stuff out when it happens, when she contradicts herself, when it seems like she is emotionally manipulating herself (or being manipulated, however it goes), etc. etc. and just reminding her that she doesn't /have/ to be in a relationship like that...i mean, ultimately it's going to have to come from her, the final break-up.

At least with me, i had finally reached my "breaking point" and that's when i knew that i had to call it off for good, and not just "take a break". Everybody has a breaking point, it just depends on where hers is at

That's exactly how you do it.

Well sure but that sounds a lot like "leave him for me" and i don't want to push her too hard you know? If she wants it she has to do it out of her own free will not by me manipulating her not what i want.

Since all i can say is what she's been telling me her breaking point should've been the second she realized that by breaking up with her bf again she was in the same exact spot she was before that, having me in her head every time she was with her bf

at least you have a gf

>tfw no gf