She spoke to me first

Fuck I dont know any good jokes

>why did the fish get pulled over
>seaweed

You dodged a bullet. Thats a good fukken joke

>What do you call a bagel that can fly?
>A plain bagel

Panties will drop, guaranteed.

>work at liquor store (poorfag)
>stocking in the back, come out of cooler
>two guys walking back and forth in front of the beer talking about what is high test or not
>pick some shit tier beer and start yelling to each other about it being high test as they walk up to counter
>don't make eye contact with 7/10 grill who works the till
>mfw I just witnessed Veeky Forums in real life

You're heavier than Eddie Hall

Kekked hard, probably better than whatever stupid shit I'd come up with.

she seems like entitled cunt. I'm not saying I would tell her to fuck off. As I'm autist, like you and would probably say some lame joke too, flattered that someone wants to talk to me. But that's what should have been said.

Oh god I'm dying. I need to do this

>gym crush comes and asks ne how many sets in I have left
>tell her I just started
>leaves to go do some meme shit
>guy walks up to me and asks how many sets I have to go
>1 more
>guy takes the power rack
>gym crush comes back and looks at me like I've failed her
Fuuuuuck

This happened to me the other day except instead of my gym crush it was some huge black guy and instead of a look of failure he gave me a look of seething rage.

It's not like she told you she was coming back or if she was gonna wait for it.

Fixed

My go to:

What do gay horses eat?

HAAAaaay

>what do you call a bulimic girl with a yeast infection
>A QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE

Laughed so hard I had to walk around A bit.

>tfw to intelligent to get this joke

actually dwayne is 6'5

I usually tell the second guy that somebody else asked me that, and before moving onto the next exercise I leave my shit in the power rack and go look for the first person. Am I being too nice?

that was kind of too close to home user

Fucking kek.
If it makes you feel any better, if I were a girl, I'd date you right away.

/fit

Yeah I usually don't hold shit for people. It was the look after that killed me though

Recently made this joke to some shy slut on facebook

> I could breathe your avatar
>> what do you mean?
> That's how much it's airbrushed

>dwayne is 6'5
he's 6'3 AT BEST. It has been proven many times

No. Not at all

...

>tfw too retard to get It
Can someone explain it? Fuck I wish I knew english

>258 as of this morning

You're the real MVP user.

>chickpea
>chick pee on my face before

you should literally have asked for her one rep maxes

> qt chinese girl asks me for help in class
> imagine life together while explaining the chemistry to her

man this is too much

>she spoke to you first
Quit it and quit it, user. Girls who talk to guys first are massive sluts.

This coming from a guy who had two girlfriends that both started talking to me first and both ended up cheating on me in a year.

this is gold. gotta remember this one

ayy lmao