Work as a bouncer

>Work as a bouncer
>Every so often have a guy come up to me
>"What's up bro, just wanted to tell you man the girls on my table think your ass is cute/you look cute"

I want women to stop looking at me like a piece of meat

Become a fat bouncer then. Girls wont be talking about you but you will have to fight drunk guys more often.

Source I was a fat bouncer during second year uni

Why would you want to be a fat bouncer then?
Sounds like being a fit bouncer is the best deal.

Dress in baggy clothes

>not laughing it off

Nice brag thread OP.

If this is true why not go get a girlfriend if girls are obviously attracted to you finding one shouldn't be hard to find one that likes you for both

This is why some girls lift. They are angry as fuck that they are doing legit things with life yet every cuck gets all stary eyed when they walk in and assumes they are these gentle unicorn magic creatures, meanwhile they are like motherfucker I want to go home and eat hotdogs in my bed, it's not that you're ugly, it's that deep down I hate everyone who isn't me out of principle, so unless you are willing to be the unicorn magic in our relationship you need to get the FUCK out of my way immediately.

fuck you

>go with friends to club/bar
>not my scene so I don't know how to act or hang around
>somehow bump into owner I guess and since I don't know what to do just start talking to him to sorta ease into the scene
>out of nowhere some dude buys me a drink and like integrates me into his group of 3 guys and 5 girls
>completely nice to me and shit trying to buy me drinks when tell them I don't drink and they respect that (guess they thought I was the designated)
>the girls are in the 7/10 range I guess and keep dancing/grinding on me
>if I start talking to a girl the girls in this group sorta suck me back into the group and ice out the girl I was talking to in the first place
>feel like we've been friends since HS
>user can you come with us to the restroom! I don't want any guys to hit on us hehe
>grabs my hand and drag me to the girls restroom while all 5 of them walk in
>while walking the girl holding my hand intentionally I think brushes my hand on her ass then looks back and smiles

Are people this friendly at clubs/bars? I thought I was going to lose a kindey or something the hwole time but they were just nice and when they were leaving to a new club said to be careful with hugs and handshakes

Yeah man mix of lust and alcohol does that

They suspected you were retarded.

You confirmed it.

The end.

Bitch, i'd slap that head off your shoulders. Shut your whore mouth.

dodged a bullet you were probably inches away from a missing dick and kidneys

>Are people this friendly at clubs/bars?

That's literally what clubs are for, it's getting hot and horny and trying to score.

bars can be 50/50, some are more for picking up girls than others

>I thought I was going to lose a kindey or something the hwole time
Stop this shit, be careful but don't be stupid

>but they were just nice
Because unlike 95% of the stories on the internet most people don't care and are friendly and want to have a good time.

>Nice try, faggot

This is an appropriate response

>diverts the conversation towards herself

>Makes completely unrelated, incoherent rant

kys basic bitch stacy whore.

How do you like being a bouncer?

I was offered a doorman position at a local dive bar and turned it down cause the customers and manager are awful, but have considered trying out other places considering im about to be laid off.

My concerns are the ridiculous hours and my lack of experience in fights. I can be very diplomatic though, but drunk people and reason dont mix.

Very boring, when shit happens it's usually bad. You will probably end up getting punched once or twice breaking up a fight. But otherwise it's chill and women will flirt with you (SOMETIMES) otherwise they are usually scared and or embarrassed.

Depends on club, you may not even use radios, so you will be ejecting patrons yourself.

Doesnt sound appealing desu. How come you do it then?

I like the hours, and i'm only doing it for now until i get into the police force.

> guy calling you cute
OP you need to lift more because guys think they can say whatever they want to you.

what hours do you normally work?

hope the popo job works out senpai, something Ive always thought about. but my hairs long and they say its gotta go.

I'm 6ft, 95kg, and squat 165kg, DL 180 kg. Nigga no guy says shit to me irl.

5-3am - thurs - sunday

hows the pay? are tips shared or you keep what you get?

thanks for answering all my questions senpai

>hows the pay?

25 an hour

No tips, but usually if you catch guys sniffing coke in the bathrooms they offer you money. Take that as you will.

post pics of ass faggot

You should work on you deadlift.

Also, who the fuck is intimidated by a guys legs...

dang, thats killer money. at least compared to the 10.85 min wage here.

I didn't know you posted here Ryan

You lifting that sort of weight, you aren't going to be that small up top, brah.

I'm not aggressive either, i like making friends. And the more friends i have at the clubs i work at the more backup i have when something happens.

>at least compared to the 10.85 min wage here.

Sure, but at the end of the day where i live everything is expensive. So it workouts in the end.

25 AUD = 19USD.

post pic of body

so many virgins on Veeky Forums

H-heh wasnt me breh

the fuck was this?

I was a bouncer for about a year and loved it. Got to beat the shit out of guys with no consequences. There was always two cops stationed outside our club and sometimes they'd join in, too. Sleazy and fun as hell.

Only at one club i work at, some guards will beat you up to a pulp. One i work at we have a room closed off from the public we will take guys into. You hit a guard, cause lots of trouble and you'll be fixed up.

Even trying to fight one in a room with no patrons that isn't closed off, you will get your face pummeled.

People are dumb cunts. You hit a guard, the training wears off and 90% of the time most of us are trained in some martial arts. We aren't afraid to smack you in the jaw.

How bad would you beat them?

I have various experience in Muy Thai and I would never fuck with another person, no matter how small they are. However, if they came at me I wouldn't be afraid to fight. As a bouncer I could not see myself giving a fuck and would look for any reason to kick someone out.

One i work at we have a room closed off from the public we will take guys into.
That's awesome. We just took them into an alley, which was cool too, because it felt like a movie lol
>People are dumb cunts. You hit a guard, the training wears off and 90% of the time most of us are trained in some martial arts. We aren't afraid to smack you in the jaw.
Exactly, the guys that tried to give it back (or even landed a blow) on a bouncer would get beat the worst.
Not seriously or anything, like to the point the dude couldn't move. If anything, the biggest blows came from the cops. One that was regularly on our beat was a real sick guy.

>6 ft
>thinks he's massive

Ok lel

what the fuck are you talking about lol

Worked as a bouncer for a gay bar, bruh you think girls are bad

You sound like that one 8th grader who puts "i probably hate you" in their Instagram bio

that does sound fun

Any noteworthy stories?

Tell stories

>"just wanted to tell you man the girls on my table think your ass is cute/you look cute"
>look over at the table
>there are no girls

...

if the guy is approaching you either the girls are not drunk enough to approach or the guy approaching is gay and wants your booty

How big must one be to be a bouncer?
How did ya get the job anons?

It's funny, when I interviewed the manager said "We've been sort of trying to break the stereotype of bouncers being big muscular or fat guys that have to inflict violence" blah blah blah. Of course just 15 minutes into my first shift a couple of my co-workers and one cop are absolutely beating the shit out of some guy in an alleyway LOL

I really thought this story was going to end in cocaine

I found gay women to be the worst. Black dudes usually just threaten to pull guns. Dykes pulls their cars up with the shotty.

they thought you were gay