Mandatory steroids check at gym

>mandatory steroids check at gym
>found creatine in my system
>banned from gym for six months and revoked 40 gains points
Shit bros I didn't know they could find that in your urine. How fucked am I?

it takes a week to leave ur urine
try find a gym where they give notice prior to urine testing

jesus that is a draconian law that allows that. what country are you from senpai?

Wtf lmao is this real

Lol you sucker. They didn't test anyone else, just you because you don't tip enough

>smoke joint at a party
>go to gym next day
>surprise drug test
>get kicked out and don't even get the rest of my membership refunded

Sweden
Yes

>Mandatory squat plug evaluation day
>Didn't notify us on the facebook
>Everyone else has bedazzled squeaky clean squat plugs
>They get to me
>Slowly pull it out of gym bag, as the stink of my shit encrusted shame plug fills the room
>1 year ban and mandatory squat plug maintenance course
FUCK

Sweden is beyond saving

>creatine

Doesn't the body naturally produce that shit? It's almost impossible to separate what it what.

Unless you got proof good shitposting

duuuuurrrrr

>forgot I had my yearly squat mobility check
>required to go 1.5 inches past parallel
>I do my working sets and measured an average of 1.3
>banned from doing squats outside of the smith machine now
Fuck this shit.

Kek

OP is this a mma gym or something? I go to a weightlifting gym and I could swear 75% of the guys are on something there.

Holy fuck

top kek wonder who is giving the course

Your gym tests for drugs? why lmao

>go to gym
>all ready to squat, fuck yeah
>set for a PR, real pumped up
>squat rack's chip reader is broken
>all out of quarters because I tipped the receptionist
>no small bills
>mfw I have to do lunges with the free dumbbells and the chinese kids are all doing curls today

> squat rack's chip reader is broken

> have to do 1.5 inches

> squat plugs

What the fuck is wrong with this thread

>he goes to a gym with a free squat rack

How does it feel to live in the projects, Jamal?

Obviously it isn't free if it has a fucking chip reader on it.

Can you read english?

>Gains points

Scooby

>insurance no longer covers deadlifts due to recent spike of back injuries
>mean mugged by the receptionist during my entire workout because I used her tip money for the bar dispenser
>have to bring extra money to gym now to be able to use bar and plate dispenser

Will I ever recover Veeky Forums?

>Due to budget cuts the gym had to get rid of the protective butt flaps
>Locker room rapes have been at an all time low so not too worried
>There today, walking in to locker room
>Old guy clenching asshole hobbles out of lockers and into lobby, before running into the street butt nekked
>Go in the locker room, 3 juiced chads mean mugging me, keep licking their lips and whispering to each other

Pretty scared desu, might just buy a protective butt flap for myself, the ones the gym had were getting a bit too blood/cum soaked anyways.

My gym weasel keeps fucking biting me, any tips?

Is it normal for your skin to start turning green when you first start creatine?
I'm getting SICK gains though.
Finally can fit into these shorts without a belt, they're pimpin purple.

Personal trainers are starting to train *BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPIIIING*
Help

how are your summer holidays going?

SWEDEN YES

I usually just chuck him one or two of my raw eggs that I keep in my basketball shorts pockets.

The body naturally produces test too, doesn't mean you can't notice high levels of it.

>Sweden
fuck that place, I got deported because I had testosterone in my system without the required melanin levels.

>penis inspection day tomorrow

what's the minimum allowed?
it's 6.2" in my gym

Sweet mother of new years resolution, this meme is like, a month and a half old

> taking the b8

...

>Pl8s all slippery with vaseline
>Lockers smell like tiger balm and garlic
>Heavy bag full of thermopaste
>Barbell knurling wrapped in cheese slices

IF I SEE THAT GODDAMN GYM CLOWN TODAY HOLY FUCK REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>Sweden

and suddenly it's believable

Due to budget cuts and wage bills, he's in my gym today.

Not sure where he'll be tomorrow