My farts smell REALLY fucking bad right now and Im supposed to have a girl over for Netflix and fuck tonight

My farts smell REALLY fucking bad right now and Im supposed to have a girl over for Netflix and fuck tonight.

Is there a way to make them smell better within like 4-5 hours? Im going to be drinking fucking beer too since im going out first. Its going to be a mix of horrible smells.

Im fucked. Im gassy as fuck and ate a pot full of homeade chili for the past 2 days.

Drink a shit load of coffee and shit your guts out.

go for a 2 mile run and try to fart as much as possible
eat bananas
strech before and after run
drink some cranberry juice

There's medication for bloating, you retard. That shit works like a miracle too; you'll feel better immediately due to placebo and your symptoms will be finished in about 20 minutes. Amazing stuff.

BRRAAAAAAAAPP

Cool butt what is it, i dont want to lay here all night silently letting out sulfur bombs

These are those farts that are thick and violate your personal space. You could almost see them

>BBBBRRRRRRAAAAAAPPPPP

Straighties have it so easy. Imagine being gay and a bottom. And you have bad farts. Which means your anal region is a mess and not hospitable to dick.
>Lol no sex for you!
Its like the gay equivalent of being on your period but you cant see it coming.

Good for you. That's what you get for fucking a shithole meant for shitting shit. I hope you get a pepper seed in your dickhole.

Kek I purposely try to get those farts on purpose and fart near my coworkers and when they claim to smell it I say "whoever smelt it dealt it" lmfao

drink more water and have some fiber in your diet in the future

have some yogurt once in a damn while too

>implying this doesn't apply to girls too

>ate a pot full of homeade chili for the past 2 days.

I hope you tell us how it goes.

>have some yogurt once in a damn while too

holy shit this. Helps so much.

give yourself an enema, you can buy a kit at a drug store for like 2$

Just commenced the beer drinking. Its 1030 in germanistan.

Farts are still here and the smell makes my ears ring.

Im done for. Tomorrow morning will be hell. If I hold all these farts in ill get an ulcer bros.

Fuck. Ill let you know hoe it goes.

Did you try any of the advice posted?

Fart in her face and give her pink eye you fucking cuck

Wow, it's almost like you're not supposed to stick dicks up people's assholes or something

I was in the store last week buying food for my bulk and I wanted to buy yogurt, but I got confused in the aisle and left without anything. What kind of yogurt do I want?

too many buzzwords in the yogurt section now I got scared

dude just excuse yourself and go outside or in the bathroom to fart. air it out, wipe your ass with some lotion on the tp, and get back in there.

Just get whole unflavoured nautral yogurt, or greek yogurt. It will taste a bit sour at first but you'll get used to it. You can mix in some blueberries and stuff if you want.
Don't fall for the flavoured, sugary shit.
Low fat tastes really sour.

thanks senpai. should I be getting low fat yogurt or just normal fat?

Normal. Low fat yogurt is really sour and fat is good for you anyway. No reason to avoid fat.

charcoal tablets. go buy some from the chemist.