Is it normal to lose respect for your dad as you get older?

Let me clarify by saying my dad is a great man and I love him, but he just isn't as cool as he used to be. He used to be into hiking, camping, sailing, rock climbing ect. Now he spends a lot of time on the computer and he never does anything selfless like buy himself something or go on adventures with his friends. He even used to own a classic sports car 10 years ago, if you told me that today I wouldn't believe you. I'm 23 btw

My dad, as ridiculous as he can be, has been through too much to not be shown respect

>immigrant
>knocked up my mom and never left
>imprisoned
>sent out of country
>came back to my mom
>provides with 60 hour work week from ages 28 to present, 49
>learned a whole language

Incredible man. I owe it to him to make gains.

I really hated my dad for a long time, and especially through high school i didnt really get along with him.
A few years later now and I respect the hell out of him, he's a hell of a man and honestly if I could be half as knowledgeable and strong as he is I'd be happy. Not to mention as the years go on he seems to make more and more sense, seems to be more and more reasonable, and level headed, especially compared to my mom, who i honestly think might be going insane
that said i feel for the man because after 25 years of manual labor for the phone company and skateboarding his body is literally falling apart, he's had 3 or 4 major surgeries in the last 5 years

lost respect for my dad when I was 3 and he left.

honor your dad with the best of gains user

I feel like this is a good thread for this -

Does anyone else have an inability to communicate with their parents in a normal, personable way? I find that I feel awkward talking to my parents like I would to a friend, even though it seems like all of my other friends speak to their parents this way.

Whenever I talk to my parents, I speak in very short segments and I'm always direct and to the point. My dad's an angry alcoholic and my mom's a crazy hoarder and they got divorced when I was young so this might be why.

My mom texted me asking me if I hated her a couple weeks ago, because I never talk to her. I just assume that she normally wouldn't really understand or care about basic mundane shit in my life, so there's nothing for us to talk about. She is kind of dumb and has no sense of humor.

I feel so guilty but how do I force myself to like my parents? I don't want them to be sad.

That nigger didn't deserve your respect anyways man.

If your father is a piece of shit maybe. I'll always respect my dad, have only been gaining more. When I was a kid I used to hate him. He was always on me about everything, always trying to get me to try harder whether it be at sports or school. I wish I listened. I was only in it for the fun. Once I entered college he backed off super hard, basically lets me do whatever I want, tells me it's my own life. He's the person I want to be when I grow up, hope my kids are smarter then I was. If I'm half the man my father is my kids and wife will be lucky.

What the fuck would you need to talk about to your mother? She's a woman, just sit there and let her blab for a while while injecting platitudes and empty comments. Fuck man are you legit autist.

man fuck that dude user, youll be a better father than that fag

My mother dumped the dad when I was like 2. He still contacts her from time to time, if I even should believe what she says, but I don't think I want to speak to him. I'm 28 and it's too late for those feels

I hate my parents and i'm 28. I'm not going to "grow up" and get over 20 years of abuse

same guys different bodies?

not if he's a nigger

Nah. I don't hate my mother (despite she's made me fat by overfeeding when I was young and didn't know shit about diets) and I just don't care about a guy who came inside her.

trips ayy

user, just be honest with them.
That's what family is supposed to be. Despite the differences, in essence, you still have love for one another.

Whether they reject what you have to say or take it in openly; at least you did your part and done all that you can.

At the least, you could ask how her day was, or do some chores.

He doesn't have to be like Will's dad, he can be like Uncle Phil if he really wants to.

fuck this got me. my dad still plays sports with the lads at age 50 like he's 20, but I know it won't last for ever. thanks for reminding me to appreciate him more while he's still here, user.

Same here. Moved out from home and it hurts to only see him on weekend, getting grayer and older. Wish I could be a teenager again to see him when he was in his best age. I try very hard building up my own businesses in order to get rich just to buy him the Porsche he always dreamed about but never could afford since children are fucking expensive

my pops left as soon as i was born and got in contact with me 14 years later. as much as i generally dont care for his existence, he works too hard and has overcome far too much for me to not respect him. theres no hope for a real relationship between us though.

>dad was an abusive alcoholic.
>had back surgery due to workplace injury.
>was forced to quit cold turkey
>was a fuckin demon around that time
>kicked it completely
>fast forward 15 years
>built a shack on a plot of land he bought just outside of town
>actually spends time with the family now
>fucking champ

>Dad was moody and on edge while I was a kid.
>Raised me to be respectful and kind but always seemed like he hated me for not being more alpha
>Went completely berserk (but never hit me once) whenever I started screaming or crying as a little kid.
>He constantly seemed hostile to my uncle and aunt and a lot of other relatives.
As the years went on I realized he spent 3 years in a notorious war zone. He probably had severe PTSD, was in constant pain from the shrapnel lodged next to his spine and an infection literally eating his facial bones. He saw plenty of people including kids torn to shreds by grenades - that's why he hated loud noises. As for being hostile to relatives: my uncle was a degenerate gambler who beat his family, my aunt was a pathological liar and parasite. I also realized my grandparents beat him constantly as a kid.

hahaha fuck this hits close to home, empathy doesn't automatically mean respect though

> Projecting

I can't imagine ever losing respect for my parents. They get up at 5am every weekday to go to work and I've only been shit to them.

what's it like having a dad fit? i don't know that feel at all. Are you bros,do you do manly shit together? Does he give you life advcie 'bout woman?

I have no respect for my father. He is a dumb alcoholic

>What is projecting?

Yes.

No, or that means he didnt raise you right
The older you grow the more you realise how much your parent did and sacrifice for you and the more respect you have for them.

I respect my dad in that he provides and keeps trying no matter what (his company went down and he drove a taxi to support us until he got back on his feet again)

But then again, I don't agree with his parenting. Especially of my younger brother. He's basically laissez faire despite my brother constantly making retarded mistakes that could easily be avoided. It wouldn't bother me nearly as much if he hadn't been doing this since my brother was in middle school.
>Moved to a new country
>was illiterate
>sent to a local school not able to understand a thing
>ended up dropping out of school entirely and after working in construction he's a bartender at 19
I understand finances were hard and he was busy working, but jesus christ come on.

My parents didn't go to college and they're very shortsighted. They don't trust banks or index funds so they literally hoard their savings and inflation fucking eats away at it. They don't know how to financially plan. They don't know how to run a business, do taxes, or the court system.
I get really fucking frustrated sometimes because it's like talking to children.
But they busted their ass to support me and my brother through school and they have always tried their best to be good parents (even if they failed). They worked multiple shitty, unskilled immigrant jobs to make ends meet. They had to come to a country where they didn't speak the language so their children can have a better future. They weren't lazy and they showed us love and gave us values and morality. And that's probably more than 90% of what nigger "fathers" give their kids.
If you want your kids to be doctors and bankers and engineers, have a strong family. Family is the most important thing to an individual's success.

I can't respect a dad who didn't teach me anything in life, basically didn't help my mother raising me and disrespects whole family. he's borderline mentally retarded in an aggressive, non-cooperating way, like a difficult 12 year old kid. he's never had a single friend and only stays at home watching soccer and drinking beer
it's a miracle he never lost his job as a fireman, which he got because his dad was a fireman too

Depends on your dad. I've only grown more respect because of his education, work ethics, values and ability to take care of our alzheimer grandma while working long days.

>They don't trust banks or index funds so they literally hoard their savings and inflation fucking eats away at it

this is the most infuriating thing I've read all year

literally free money

Idk my dad commited suicide when he was 18. Just surviving is doing better than him.

I lose more respect add I get older. Dad was too busy chasing career and women to be a father, now I'm 28 and he pesters the shit out of me to move across the country to be near him so we can spend time together.

The few times I've reached out for help it's always a long spiel about how I'm like him etc etc but actually only serves to remind me how little I want to be like him.

He's rolling on 50 living alone, no wife, no friends, smoking weed and shuffling through day to day life. Says he's given up and doesn't try anymore, but wonders why I don't try to be involved with his life.

If he's not a total cunt now
Understand how hard it is to come back after being gone so long, as I'm sure he understands it's hard for you.
That was probably a big reason it's difficult for him

I don't really get along with my dad, our personalities don't match up and he was working a lot when I was younger so there's not much of a connection for me. It's unfortunate because I know there's part of him that's really big on family. For that I try to get along with him, but I definitely couldn't do a father son day out

No I had a good dad. Dude was and still is very hardworking. Going through the hurdles of trying to find a job and working in the industry, I understand his struggles more and makes me respect how much he's done for our family.

Yes it's part of the seperation process

You either
>Lose respect for dad if he's a beta
or
>Hate him if he's an alpha

Then later when you're a bit older, you (hopefully) reconcile and accept that he's just a human being like you

My dad is as loving and supporting as he knows how to be,

But the man is obese and still can't accept when he's wrong about something,

It frustrates so much when all I want to do is tell him I love him for all the years he fought custody over lovanf supported me,

but all I can do is argue when I think he's wrong and try and achieve success in life, maybe if I'm lucky I'll be successful and well off before he has a heart failure and I can enjoy time with him like I should have been able to as a child.

Over me and supported me**

I went from hatred (0-18 yo) to admiration (18-20) and profound respect (20-22 as of today).

He's always been very strict, but then I realized he is also strict with himself, that he walks the path of hard work to success, and I should follow his wisdom (which I've been trying to do for the past few years).

Sorry dad that I've been an ungrateful brat most of my life.

i hate him. 28M so I've had time to mull it over, and I hate the bastard.

>immigrant
>married a teacher
>divorced her once he got his citizenship
>married my mom
>alcoholic
>high blood pressure
>argued NON STOP
>they stayed together until i left for the military
>dad didn't approve of me enlisting, even though i had zero money for college, needed a way to pay for it
>got back, went to a college in the city, got my own apartment
>talking to my dad's new neighbors
>oh you're a graduate of x university? that's where i wanted my son to go
>fuck you dad
>the last straw was discussing the zimmerman trial
>basically 18 years of leftist indoctrination by him
>fucker still drinks even though he has high blood pressure
>he never lifted, never did anything for his health
>i went down a similar path until i started to get sober
>training for a half marathon next month, never drinking again

i havent spoken to him in almost 4 years, and i relish at the thought of knowing he will die not having a relationship with his son.

Nah, I've only gained respect for him as time goes on.

It seems to be futile to post in these kinds of threads, everyone chimps out totally if you don't respect/like your father. I never had much respect for him in the first place.

I never had respect for my father. Hes an ok guy but he hasnt taught me anything. In some way hes responsible for some of my terrible choices in my life. He was never bad to me, my brother or my mother, but he wasnt good either.

He has a shit deadend job.
Complains about shit deadend job every day. Every day at dinner I had to listen to his complaining.
In the weekend he just drinks so much beer to somehow cope with being really fucking unhappy about his life.
My mom always asked him to stop drinking so much, for years and years.
Never gave a fuck and kept drinking anyways.
Every time he had to do a household chore, like fixing something in the house or even with cooking. He would swear constantly when things didnt go as planned.

Yeah great fucking example you were for me dad. Next time dont take kids when you cant even deal with your own problems.

This is me, plus feeling uncomfortable sharing interests/passions with family (e.g. talking about lifting / giving fitness advice; sharing taste in music and other culture/entertainment; things of this kind)

>tfw dad was doing the best for me but I was just a shithead kid
>tfw rest of family was pushing me away from him
>tfw only learned to appreciate what he did for me when I got older but he died when I was 17 and never got to tell him
>tfw motivate myself by imagining him in heaven looking at me and saying I'm doing a good job

fpbp

This.

I got mad respect for my dad. He sticks with my mom who is schizophrenic, works long hours self employed tradesman with one employee and makes good money.

When I was suffering bad depression he helped me through it and has always been great at teaching handyman skills. Dude spent a summer building a playhouse from scratch for me and my Bro when we were younger.

Despite dealing with my moms shizo fits he gave up smoking 5 years ago and lost so much weight he weighs. Like 11 stone and cycles every weekend in a club.

Dude is a shining example of how you can change yourself for the better and have no excuses.

What exactly is normal anyways? The real question should be is it healthy. Is your dad an actual bum who never cared for you? Then yes. Is he a human being with moderate flaws who always tried to do right by you even if he didn't always know what right was? Then no. Youngsters often expect too much out of their parents and treat them as if they should be better than regular humans holding them to unrealistic standards. This is a mark of immaturity on the part of the child. An adult forgives their parents for their shortcomings and loves them for their virtues. It's not easy always but it's the right thing to practice.

I disagree to some extent. I think somebody should only take kids if they are ready to put their own issues aside and put properly raising their kids as number one priority.

Transferring your own issues, bad habits and problems onto your kids is pathetic. Good intentions is not the only thing that matters

My parents weren't bad, but they weren't great either.

My dad's entire side of the family is autistic to one degree or another, and my mum has OCD, and I've ended up inheriting all their bad habits.

I thought they were normal until my friends and extended family met them and they all say they're crazy, and the longer I spend away from them, the more normal and likeable I become.

I just moved out after spending a year post-uni, so I've still got a lot of autismal auto-responses, but I think I'm getting better again. After three years at uni I was happy with myself, then life fell apart afterwards and I lost it all again.

I don't blame them, as such, but dad has no empathy and is selfish if it ever comes to his needs vs anyone else's, and mum can't tolerate being wrong about anything ever, even if she's retarded about it.

Get off your high horse buddy nobody can purge themselves of all their vices just because they have a kid. There really is no greater gesture of love than another human honestly trying to be the best they can for another, but that doesn't mean they won't make mistakes and should be forgiven for those mistakes. Most people are a mixed bag of success. An example my dad quit smoking cold turkey b4 I was born so I wouldn't be exposed. My dad also suffers from a short temper, was never physical but he can chew you out worse than a drill instructor. It's frustrating when it happens but if he was way off base he'll apologize later. I forgive him, we move on. I can't count the number of times I've fucked up and he's forgiven me, every parent deserves the same back from their children.

My dad is a turbo autist. Used to hate him. He's now in his 60s and puts most other dads to shame
>learned to sail
>built a huge stone wall
>volunteered for doctors without borders in africa like it was no big deal

It's been going the opposite way for me he was and still is strict and stubborn but slowly I realize alot of things he says are right

Yes and no. What that other user sais is true tho. In your case, it wasnt just intention but also showcase. He showed forgivness. You experienced it. My dad fucking hit me and my sister with the belt, no matter who did shit and how miniscule the deed was. Me and my sister literally have 0 pictures without bruises as kids. Sisters arm got broken when he flinged her around one time.

But coming 10 yrs later saying i wanted the best for you? Nah dude, fuck off. No respect given no matter the intentions.

Your father falls into the bum category, I'm sorry for you user that's not right.

depression perhaps? you should talk to him.

>father a drunk for as long as i can remember
>always acting like a big-shot at home
>fighting with my mother to the point where they'd hit each other (my mum wouldn't let herself get beaten without defending herself tho)
>dad wouldn't hold a job for too long because of alcohol
>"we" kick him out when i was around 14
>living by himself on welfare
>develops liver cirrhosis
>dies at 55
>i find him dead on his couch in his one-room apartment

also:
>be 13yo
>drunk dad threatens to kill my mother in her sleep
>get angry, uppercut to his face sends him right to the floor

yep, that happened. fuck you dad. i more or less picked up no bad habits at all, he rather serves as an example of how not to threat family, wife, people altogether.

I respect the fuck out of my dad. He's worked a job he hates for 30 years just to provide for his family. Dude wanted to be a park ranger until he realized that job pays shit so he became a pipefitter. And despite never liking the job, he's a damn good fitter.

He separated from my mom a few years back, but I put the blame for that entirely on her. She's been a raging cunt for as long as I can remember and has always treated him like he's not good enough for her.

My dad has like Michael J Fox early Parkinson. He is now a shell of his former self. When not on his meds he rambles shit, making it very difficult to bind with him. Also he refuses to loose weight and to get better treatment. Kinda lost respect for him because of that. I get it if he wants to kill himself, but with Parkinson he goes to like 10 times per night and my mother (and sometimes me) are the ones who have to lift his heavy ass out of bed.I barely remember him before being sick. Knowing his accomplishments and my mother's, I have only respect for them.

Fucking cell phone. Bond* he has to pee* ten times per night. Sorry for using "like" unnecessarily.

>projecting this fucking hard

I just pretend to like my dad so that I'll get my 20 million dollar inheritance.

i hated my fucking dad from age 13 to age 18 for being a strict hard ass trying to make me lose weight and be healthy, then from age 20 i started talking to him again rebuilding, lost 60 pounds last year, felt proud of myself for doing it, told me at his 50th birthday he was proud of me for being able to do it. Never felt more happy

I wouldn't say that I lost respect for him but I look at him in a different way. It's just that it is easier to see that he's a bit goofy from time to time. E.g. he once bought a chocolate Santa at a chocolate shop only to smash it to pieces on the counter (because he was going to do it anyway when he got home) while the girl behind the counter looked in total horror and disbelief.
But at the same time he is extremely smart and works for hours until a job is perfectly done, including when he had to clean up/sell the house he grew up because his mother died after 6 years of crippling sickness. I never saw him cry. Those are also things you only notice when you get older.

Shit typing it out like this makes me realize how lucky I am

I know nobody is going to read throuh all of this ranting but my father is a very fucked up nigga kek

I went from loving and trusting my father (ages 2-9) to resent and distrust ages 10-18.

Now I feel sorry for him. He doesn't drink or smoke and he is quite alpha and is very intimidating to other men, he literally has a job where he shouts at construction workers all day.

He would often take me to the movies and then beat the shit out of me the next day for not coming to the dinner table early enough

He's a real human bean though, a scared and paranoid man that made me paranoid by telling what's going to happen if I do something and that I should be careful blabla.

A smart man that never reached his full potential because he was too scared of the world, too scared to get hurt.

I started my own business a few months ago and I generate $100 a day, he started mentioning that I'll get in trouble with that much money and blabla. A very paranoid man, I can understand him since his mother is very paranoid too.

Now I feel sorry for him after I saw how fucked up his philosophy and view of the world is.

I am working hard to not to become like him, stop being so fucking scared of what's going to happen and just do shit. Instead of being a cuck that's scared of something going wrong try to be an alpha who stands his ground and pushes forward and le fears no man.

Kek i sound like your dad. Fuck you Charles

Fuck you too dad, stop loving my little brother more you shit, just cause I quit swimming doesn't mean that I am a piece of shit.

I respect him and understand he probably always tried to do the right thing. I don't hate him at all, but I can't really say I love him either.

I'm pretty content with my own life I built up, but besides birth, shelter and food, I don't feel my parents did much to help me go where I am today. Maybe it's unfair to say that in retrospect, as they've always been caring people in a more or less intact family. But when I think about it, I can't remember my father giving me tips about girls or life in general at all. Wish we'd had more bonding moments.

Maybe. Depends on your dad.

I still respect him a shitton, and growing up and doing my own shit also makes me understand how hard he worked for his family. I don't agree with everything he does, but I can understand why he does it.

>Learned a whole language

Your standards must be low if learning 1 extra language and getting imprisoned earns respect lmao.

There were times I definitely deserved to get smacked like the time me and my friends would flip an old Peugeot 205 monthly for fun and we got caught. But there were also times like when he broke my nose when I had a pneumonia when I was a kid because he thought I was coughing to loud so he stormed into my room and started swinging.

I've got tons of stories like this, bottom point is he was a complete fucking piece of turd the first 20 years of my life for no reason. I still respect him for being completely self made and working hard but damn dad, did you really have to be that much of an asshole?

I dont like my dad. I used to think I respected him but now that I'm an adult and haven't had contact with him for a few years I realized I just feared him and craved for his affection and respect which he never gave anyone at my home. He just kept everyone's confidence really low, scolded and lectured everyone for minor things. Even when someone did something exceptional he'd find a way to make him/her feel bad about it and inadequate. No wonder my brother is a junkie, my sister a borderline a slut and my mother depressed and hooked on pills. I'm the only one doing well and am the support of everyone in my family. I'm also the only one who broke off all contact with my father and dont give any value to anything he said, says or did in my life. The rest of my family still talks with some respect about him but every time they see or talk to him they're either depressed, angry or fucked up afterwards and I have to pick up the pieces. He has a way to crawl under your skin and make you feel less than garbage. I honestly can't wait for him to pass away so my siblings and mom can finally be free off his brainwashing, narcisstic tyranny.

Mine was beta fag that confessed to me a hilarious thing.

He was drunk one night and he told me that he was having nightmares that I'd beat the shit out of him. Thank god he left out of my life.

>fag left
>got a job
>lost 80 pounds
>got a gf
>finished college

He called me up on new years eve and he wanted us to have dinner or something. Instead I told him that we should meet somewhere secluded, to watch a view in the cliffs or some shit and he ate it up. As soon as he arrived I actually beat the living shit out of him and destroyed his car.

Last time I saw him 2 years after that he was homeless, stunk like a fucking rat and just collected welfare. I went near him and as soon as his drunk ass realized it was me, he fucking ran for it, funniest shit I ever saw.

It gives me great pleasure that a man that destroyed my early years and everything I held dear is clinging on to the last remnants of life, suffering and being as miserable as a modern human being can get. You can call this edgy but every time I think of how fucked he ended up, I just get an andrenaline rush. I fucking loathe this faggot and I truly hope he dies alone and cold in some dark alley, realizing at his last moments that absolutely noone will realize that he's gone.

This.

>Not realising the post was a nigger joke

You have the daddest of dads, user. Cherish that man until he draws his last breath because not only did he pass his skills but he showed you what a man is by example and that is worth more than all the gold in the world.

I've only ever held respect for my old man.

>Worked 40+ hours for 40+ years, usually with over an hour commute, to provide for 5 kids and wife.

>Even through my oldest sister getting sick and dying just before she turned 18, he never stopped supporting us or providing.

>Worked long hours all week and spent the weekend coaching us in any sport we wanted to play.

>Made sure I had any instrument I wanted to learn.

>Couldn't help us directly pay for college, but as long as we were enrolled in college we could live at home rent free with zero restrictions (no "as long as you live under my house you'll abide by rules", etc.)

>Told us growing up that you don't need a college education to make good money. Just be willing to work hard and not complain about it... "but your joints will like you a heck of a lot more when you get older if you can get a job behind a desk."

Even now that he's retired and refuses to lose weight, he's still managed to learn guitar, built two additions to his house and a shed. If I work half as hard as he has by the time I'm his age

my dad is

you deserve death

That's a fucking man's man right there

Never lost respect for my dad and never will.

I actually gained a lot more respect for my dad as I grew older

fag

Careful with that edge there mate, you may cut yourself.