Sārig, my name is Cenwulf

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork +Vlfberh+" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Dane Axes deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Dane Axe in Denmark for $20,000 (that's about 85 pounds of English Silver) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut an ox in half with my Axe.

Danish smiths spend years working on a single Dane Axe and fold it over nine times to produce the finest axeheads known to the Northlands.

Dane Axes are thrice as hacky as Frisian swords, and thrice as long for that matter too. Anything an +vlfberh+ sword can cut through, a Dane Axe can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a Dane Axe could easily bisect a Huscarl wearing full chainmail with a simple vertical chop.

Ever wonder why William the Conqueror never bothered conquering Denmark? That's right, he was too scared to fight the brave Norseman and his Dane Axe of destruction. Even in the Schleswig Wars, Prussian soldiers targeted the men with Dane Axes first because their killing power was feared and respected.

...

Ave, my name is Bacchus.

I’m a 57 year old Civitas (Roman fan for you barbarus). I sculpt fasces and trimuphal arches on my city squares, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Roman games. (Venationes, invading Albania, etc)

I train with my gladius every day, this superior weapon can pierce clean through lorica hamata because it is sharpened over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I learned how to form a testudo two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Latin fluently, both Imperial and the Italian dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Roman history and their Patrician code, which I follow 100%

Before I finish my military preparations, I am invading Graecia to expand my empire. I hope I can become a good ally for Germania or an Augustus!

I own several sets of Lorica Segmentata, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I reestablish the imperial capital, so I can fit in easier. I march on Rome with my elders and seniors and speak Latin as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in North Africa!

Kek'd

Good day my old chum, my name is William

I'm a 32 year old English gentleman (Engländer for you Germans). I play tennis in my garden, and spend my days perfecting my game and drinking superior English tea. (Orange Pekoe, Darjeeling, Breakfast series)

I train with my Navy every day. These superior battleships can engage an enemy fleet at over 20,000 yards, and are vastly superior to any other navy on earth. I earned my rank of Admiral of the Fleet 2 two years ago, and my navy has been getting bigger every day...

I speak English fluently, both Aristocrat and the Cockney dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about English history and their constitutional code, which I follow 100%*

When I get permission from my Grandma Vicky, I am moving to London to attend a prestigious Naval College to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become the ruler of more African colonies!

I own several Royal Navy uniforms, which I wear around the palace. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to England, so I can fit in easier. I hide my arm from my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in England!

你好, my name is Wu Ken.

I’m a 24 year old American 生員 ("Aspiring Official" for you gwailo). I scribble poetry on silk, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Chinese games. (Mahjong, Xianqi, Weiqi)

I train with my Jian every day, this superior double-edged weapon can cut clean through steel because it is folded over a billion times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I qualified as a Jianke two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Chinese fluently, both Classical and Mandarin, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Chinese history and filial piety, which I follow 100%

When I get my Chinese visa, I am moving to Xiangyang to attend the Imperial Civil Service exam. I hope I can become an Imperial Official, or a Military Officer!

Wish me luck in China!

>Jarl
>King Æthelred

Hwæt?

Surely you mean an Ealdormen, you filthy Dane.

Kek

I unironically know people like this.

Mount and blade is turkish though.

>not Anglaland

Mount and Blade is transcending its origins.

Good ones.

Nigger armagan made the first game together with his wife in their yurt while he had time between hunts and raids on greeks.

Fuckin Sarranids.

That one guy looking at Mussolini with a mix of cringe and disdain.

A Salaam Alaikum, my name is Lawrence al Arab.

I’m a 27 year old British Hajji (Arab fan for you infidels). I write Arabic script on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Arab games. (CS:GO, League of Legends, FIFA series)

I train with my Jezail every day, this superior weapon can shoot clean through steel because it is guided by Allah, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I traded a bedou a goat for it two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Arabic fluently, both Najdi and the Levantan dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Arab history and their 5 pillars of Islam, which I follow 100%

When I get my Arabian visa, I am moving to Riyadh to attend a prestigious mosque to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a laborer for Saudi Aramco or a goat herder!

I own several dishdashas, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Arabia, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Arabic as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in the Middle East!

newfag here can someone explain to me where that originated?

the term house man was borrowed from German

Howdy partner, my name is Colt Jackson.

I’m a 27 year old Japanese Buckaroo (That's cowboy for you Nipponese). I write banjo ballads on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my aim and playing superior American games. (Red Dead Redemption, Hard West, Boot Hill Heroes, etc)

I train with my Colt Single Action Army every day, this superior weapon can pierce clean through injuns because the bullets are polished over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I learned how to make a lasso two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak like a true man of the Western frontier fluently, Boontlig dialect and all, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Old Western history and have watched all them Bonanza episodes, which I know by memory 100% so I won't end up lookin' like a back-dated Chuck.

When I finish making my own engraved spurs, I am riding to El Paso to work on a major ranch to learn more about their asskickin' culture. I hope I can be the Sheriff or at least a famous stiff hat.

I own several hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to the Ol' West, so I can fit in easier. I have a BBQ with pops and his applehead often and I can shoot the breeze like a true man of the indian frontier, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in the States!

>new
>actually wants to learn things

Your kind is getting rarer by the minute, I feel a little sorry that you got here while this place has become a trash heap with no recovery in sight for a while now

Anyway the original version is Ken-sama and Japan, I think it's from /v/