"hey user, haven't seen you in a while, you look buff now" *teehee*

>I can eadily do pushups with you on my back haha, cmon ill show you.

thanks, who are you again?

autistic chad/10

>ficki ficki

Germanfag spotted.

go away gains stealer men only allowed here

Shhhiiieeet girl and you became quite the flirt, you diggin these dirty gainz or what? I got the shovel if you need a hand.
>Haha you're bad
Baby I'm evil let me show you a good time

learn to assume that everyone likes you, only letting their actions change that assumption.

If you approach a person projecting a negative image of them in your own mind, they WILL notice it and it will make everything harder.

Most people look for cooperation and friendship.

>u-u too...

obviously

For you.

t. mamadou

>Kek, I'm ottermode at best bitch. You must have really low standards, huh? Unfortunately for you, I don't so fuck off.

Yeah there was this girl I met who could lift more than me but was also really pretty and it really shocked me into seeing how fat and gross I was.

Now I work out a lot.

you haven't been working out though, I can tell.

>learn to assume that everyone likes you,
except strangers and blacks.

had a black 'bro' of mine ditch me when we were climbing a fence for some other nigger we had met that day.

Haha, na, this new shirt I bought is just really flattering. Gotta love Kmart.

Upon acknowledging her I would for a moment mimic an embarassedly surprised, uncomfortable expression coming mainly from the eyes (wide open, eyebrows tilted outwards, looking left and right) and lips (pursed and pulled back similar to notbad.jpg) while tilting my chest out and backwards and then chuckle to myself while looking down on the ground only to look up into her eyes shortly after to give her a sly grin and shake my head horizontally.

(Because I don't lift)

...and how many times has this worked for you?
Also the fuck kind of pushups can you do from your back? That's some bro science shit

>nah lay front on me
what u mean
there would be less force on your arms if she lays down parallel to you you should tell her to cross her legs so you have to lift her fat ass too.

YEAH I ONLY EAT EGGS NOW.

WHAT'S UP WITH U? WHAT DO YOU EAT?

...

It's totally fine and even attractive to go to the gym. Women like it when you give a fuck about bettering yourself.

Just avoid giving the impression that you're obsessed (even though we both know you are), that's where the danger is.

Teenager mentality

TOP AUTISM
LMAO

this routinely happens to me, strongman training and 6k calories ftw
two kinds of replies
>old friends and close family: say nothing, pick them up, atg squat a few times while laughing like a madman, they usually laugh too, then we get drunk
>people i don't really like: "you don't"

>grabs back of head
>Gluck Gluck Gluck

"You've put on a lot of weight.. Not in a bad way"
Was always a skinny prick so any improvement probably looks noticeable

I think you should worry more about your obsession with controlling what people think of your fear of being seen as obsessed

>Yeah i know. It's all just looks though, wait till I take my shirt off..

>"WHAT? I GOT THREE MORE SETS"
>"I said, I think you look good now "
>"WHAT? HEY HOLD UP LET ME TURN THIS OFF"
>Waddle across gym as briskly as my knee sleeves will permit to get my phone that's charging in the windowsill and playing music over Bluetooth
>Waddle back as fast as my knee sleeves will permit
>Only now realise that I could have paused the music with the controls on my headphones
>"Hey sorry I didn't hear you, what'd you want?"
>"I was trying to tell you that you look good, have you been training?"
>"Yes."
>...
>"Well, if you'll excuse me, I got a workout to continue."

I'm that gorilla dick nigger, I make dyke pussy wet. You got about ten seconds to show me that hole, cuz this is gorilla dick daddy's hungry, and if you don't blow me, I might kill you.

Thank you for noticing. Want to see what i can do with my newfound strength?

Ohhh... You've been making fun of me whole high school, because I was so skinny and pathetic. Now When I look good, got master degree and well paid job, you suddenly talk me? But don't think I will fall for your trap I know that you know that I am still a virgin at 25. Come on! Ask me if have any GF right now! C'MON! DO IT! ASK ME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! Oh... wait I already said that I am a virgin. How will you make me feel insecure now, bitch! huh?

I guess deep rooted hate and anger truly is the best motivation a human can have. I wonder how many great people had a complex like that. I mean Hitler was in love with a girl that rejected him, Napoleon never got over the fact that he is a fucking manlet and there are probably thousands of examples.

I am starting to believe it's both a blessing and a curse. I doubt many people that are completely happy with their life have the time and desire to prove everyone wrong.

>"Hey babeh! U WAN SUM FUK"
I'll say in an overly exaggerated chad sort of way while taking off my shirt and flexing.

Napoleon's manlettry was propaganda. He was average height for the time.

>"Yeah. Hey, it was great seeing you. but I have some things to get done today. Later."

Fuck women.

>"are you talking to me as a dare?"

>Average height
>Not a manlet

Pick one.

autism, at least say "no just wii-fit and zumba"

Iktf bro, met a girl I know in the gym

>wow user you look big, how long have you been working out
>not at all actually, I just signed up today I have no idea what I'm doing
>are you serious ?
>yeah maybe you can show me how all this shit works I got no clue
>*proceed to act like I have no idea how a leg press works*
>this awkward process with her staring at me goes on for a few minutes
>she eventually leaves and does some cardio

the fuck are you talking about

I'm sorry. Have we met?

Thanks anons this reaches turbo autism levels I can't even hope to reach.

I like your brand of autism

>not wanting to vaginally demolish every girl who ever wronged you

Different strokes, I guess.

...

that was cute af user

>implying I would be able to respond

I spend so much time alone that when I actually have to interact with another human being I sometimes fail to produce words or coherent sentences.

"Yeah I've been hitting the gym a little more. (don't let them know how autistic your obsession is) You're looking pretty good yourself. Want to grab something to eat sometime and catch up?"

nigga..

All the chicks I run into have either gotten chubby or fat beyond salvation.

I wouldn't mind smashing the chubby ones and they're the ones that are always like wow you look good.

I haven't run into any as of late though last two I ran into got fat, like really fucking fat which is a shame since they were good looking in college and really seemed to take care of themselves but that seems to happen more with chicks it seems I guess, they seem let themselves go at least more than guys ot seems.

>Thanks, what have you been up to? You look good.

I don't talk about myself

While you were drinking and partying and slutting it up, I was studying the way of the blade.
While you were fucking random guys, I was preparing my revenge.
While you were piling on the pounds and hiding such in your selfies, I was reading Sun Tzu to prepare for this day.
As you look at me and see a potential ego boost, I am looking upon a head waiting to be severed from the body.
As your expression changes to confusion and fear, I have completed my 5 step attack plan.

d-do u have f-facebook?

All these threads are is OP being a fucking aspie loser and thinly veiling his need for advice on how to talk to women.

This thread is classic Veeky Forums.

Yeah, is that how you start a conversation?
You're not going to impress me with stupid rhetorical questions.
Now fuck off you shallow, cum swapping gold digger. I don't speak to unintelligent life forms.

...

You've watched too many films and thought up responses to social situations that don't occur in real life.

Try speaking normally and going outside.

My fucking sides.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Is his belt a fucking rope with a lock? Did he use all his money for that katana and the leather jacket?

Mad respect, bro.

there are hundreds of scenarios where a rope and a lock could save your life user. also it comes off smooth as fuck when you hand the girl the key to your lock. they always get wet bro.

...

Yeah I do gymnastics in my spare time. Then go on with the conversation. I hate talking fitness with people who don't know anything about it

Wii Fit and Zumba

>there are hundreds of scenarios where a rope and a lock could save your life user
name three

>you fall while hiking in the mountain, you need a rope to climb your way out of the hole or you die
>you have severe depression and think about killing yourself, you have the meds ready to go. in a moment of clarity you lock them in a chest and throw the key in the toilet and flush.. you survive
>you go skydiving and the hinges on your parachute start to give out. you use the lock instead and slowly decend to safety

Girls are so mean to me
>wow user you've been working out
>she smiles
>I I try to imitate her, expressions, breathing patterns
>she doesn't notice because she's feeling my arm while talking to me
>"so how long have you been working out"
>she moves to my pecs and I get worried because she can probably feel how fast my heart is beating
>have to get away before she realizes how nervous I am
>"I'll show you!"
>start doing burpees so she can't feel how nervous I am
>Do five and get tired
>I look up smiling but she already left

>He was average height for the time.

That doesn't stop you from having a complex. I'm above average and still do

I know this feel, bro.

I'm 1.89 m, but for some reason I still want desperately be over 1.90. I don't even know why

>Normie
REEEEEE
but actually, it's so easy. If she says no, then move on, if she notices chances are there are many more women who notice as well

The trick is buying smaller furniture

are you the same user who did that "bartender give me grey goose and whatever she wants" thing?

would tell her to fuck off, I have heavy weights to lift

>thanks i've been doing a lot of rock climbing recently

this is what i say

because it's true

and then you get to go rock climbing with them, which is excellent, because you get the belayer's perspective of her bum for a good hour or so

Do you even know where you are?

"Y-You too..."

Yeah I guess I'm just a lucky guy

Thanks for the instruction manual on how to blow it.

fuk of

I'm sorry, are you wet?

KEK

Yeah I have, since May. This and quitting smoking has really helped me out with my mental health as well. Well, good seeing you, we should talk again sometime

Elliot pls

kys my man

b-back off

Sure thing /pol/

Don't fucking touch me normie REEEEEEEEEEEE

I have a gf so usually goes like this
>Oh yeah, I have, thanks.
>Facial expression never changes from deadpan, voice is low and relaxed.
>Maintain eye contact. I mean they started the conversation, surely they have something more interesting planned to say
>They almost never do
>Say it was nice seeing them again, walk away

Girls are the worst pick up artists of all time. They will squak in the corner of a party or at the gym to their friends all day, only to put in the most bare minimum effort possible in an approach. If they start a conversation.

this