"oh, this?"

tsk, tsk, tsk. another mindless simpleton has stepped into my realm *i grab your head* there's still time to apologize *i throw you against the bloody wall* i'll teach you, not that your petty brain will understand *i get out my poisoned kris +9* eat this, little bitch! *i slice your shins* "ahh! what the fu-" *you stop yelling in awe of my blade collection* oh, you like them don't you? heheh, they'll be going through your skull soon *you scream but nobody hears as i punch your throat* what's wrong, bitch? choking on your idiocy? that's pathetic *snickers* heh, get ready for this, little bitch! *my eyes glow red as the floor starts shaking* "n-no! what the fuck?!?" *you try and punch me as i fade away* "HUH?!?!" heheh, i'm right here! *i appear behind you and shoot blue flames through my palms like azula from avatar the last airbender* it's too late now! *you try to get away but you fail and get burned* "aaarrrgghhh!!!!" you like that, bitch? don't worry, there's more where that came from! poison breath! go! ARIGATO! *WHOOSH* "aaarrgghhh!!!!" *the fumes surround you as you start choking* "wh-where the fuck did you go?!? show yourself!" *you cough and wheeze* too late, bitch. i'm everywhere... EAT THIS!!! *in one motion, i unbuckle my katana made of solid titanite from my black belt, unsheathe it and slice your right hand off and re-sheathe it while laughing* "ARRGGH!!!! you won't get away with this!!!!" heheh, i already have!! *the smoke instantly clears to reveal me in super sayain level 10 and fully charged up with rainbow hair* "n-no!!! stop!!!!" too late! *i use my telekinesis to throw my blade collection through your stomach one by one* "AAARRGGHHHH!!!!!" this ends here! *i fly towards you at mach 50 and drive my katana through your skull* *you slump over and die as i clean all my blades of your worthless blood* hmph, once again i have cut a worthless object *i teleport inside you as you explode* nothin personnel *i put up my hoodie and fly away*

4/10

If this is how you want to spend your time, "son."

>grabs you by the head and shoves it in my anal

BRAAAAAAAAP
PLFFFFFFFFFFTSSSSSSSS
SHHHHHHHHSSSSS

these threads always give me a good audible chuckle

*It was hologram*
*as you're teleporting away I fire 2 shirkens in quick succession off into seemingly empty space*
* you materialize and without time to respond the first shirken drives itself deep into the center of your forehead, while the other passes through your chest, into your heart*
*you drop to the floor with an incredulous expression, falling face first into a puddle of your own blood*

>having a +9 Kris
>not having a +10 kris

spotted the pleb

thought the same thing
katana fags always say they are meant for speed

"ahh you think methane is your friend, but I was born in it, molded by it, I hadn't smelt clean air until I was already a man, and by then it was nothing but choking. Why do you think I wear the mask?"

*stops time*
heh..not so tough now, are you ?...
*hurls 10 knives at you*
Heh...you are already dead...
*time starts again*

Heh... cocky huh?

*slightly unsheaths my katana just enough so the blade glints from the sunlight*

.....Care to dance?

Could easily be dealt with by anyone who knows MMA.
>hit him with a barrage of basic hand strikes
>while he's groggy, slam a palm strike into his solar plexus, totally incapacitating him
>use a basic transition maneuver to pick him up
>slam him down, killing him instantly

But can you teleport? Checkmate.

Tell me! Does a fedora like you ever experience fear?

To that fedoras credit those niggas did get out the train pretty quick when they saw that sword come out

>omoshiroi

Look im gonna take your fucking lunch money you have no choice nerd

*sips*

Good one plus one points for accurate reference.

sad reminder that He died in a lake and his qt apprentice has sworn revenge.

N-nani?

kek

>*unsheathes two large milk jugs*
>You... You really don't know who I am... do you?
>*chugs down milk jugs*
>*a halo of milk forms behind my head*
>*squats intensively*
>*gravity starts shifting under the heavy squat*
>barbells start to rain from the sky
I am the one who has gone mad.

You know, everybody always posts this to meme all over SS, but after a good cut he's be pretty aesthetic.

I'm actually saving up for a suit so I can do funny pictures like that one

Is this a get thread?

...

that made me kek pretty gud

>weighted dips

11/10

Wow.

A palm strike to the chest while standing in front is bad for your wrist man, a fist is better used with that position in mind.

Now if you were making a pass around him, a palm strike would be good.

>sitting peacefully
>belly full of food
>daydreaming of your favorite fuckduck
>feel a sudden violent punch to the neck
>feels weird as fuck
>vision fading to black as your dragged into the void, your view seeming to fly up and away
>last thing you see is a headless body struggling on the grouns
>last thought is the realization it's your body you're flying away from
>Panic sets in as you still try to move your beheaded body
>you cease to be

Anime?

>Don't make me go mad. You wont like me when I go mad.

Hey, I know that guy. He's one of thse superhero types.

I'm dead, gg

Yeah the head is still attached, notice there's no pool of blood. You can also see in a few frames immediately after the falcon hits that the head and bill are still there before they tumble underneath the duck's body.

It'd be more like a baseball falling out of the sky and landing on your head, I think the duck was still alive but it was stunned or knocked out and it might've lost an eye or two from the talons.

As you think you's hotshit, you suddently get frozen, and you very cold be.
As indeed, I summoned my legnedary Icecow, that freezes everything in sight.
''Frostmoorne is hunger'' be saying me, as the cow slowly devours your gefrozed body

Daily reminder that ironic shitposting is still shitposting.

...

>what's this,
>fun? On my board??
>haha not today!

DIOOOOO

Nah i feel like hes already dead, just twitching from the CNS trying to automatically react. At that speed from something maybe 2 or 3 times your weight you are definitely dead if it slams into your head.

*inspiring music starts playing*
I am the start of my strength
Fat is my body and milk is my blood
I have squatted over a thousand pl8s
Yet those hands will never curl anything
And now as I pray
Ulimited leg works!!

>Rainfall pours, leather great coat blowing as the wind picks up
>*smirks*
>"You were good kid I'll give you that"
>"I'll stop toying with you now, the time for games has ended"
>*chuckles, slowly unseaths Katanga*
>to be fair you'd already lost before it started

*puts on +5 hat of weapon smithing*
I will fucking end you.
[heavy breathing]
Legally!

The headlines on the right look like the names of his special moves

this is going to put me in a good mood all week

...

This picture is literally a perfect representation of autism

Lmao this one got me the hardest

Jokes on you; I just want the (You). Did you see how I orchestrated that? It was so perfect. I just memed the same meme everyone here memes, but I put it out there so gently you couldn't resist.
It's like asking a slut what her sign is. It's a horrible line, of course, but she can't help but to roll her eyes and answer anyway. And that's all you need. Once she responds you both know she will be yours. The door is open.
And in that same way, you are now mine. I have you and your (You) and there is no way for you to change that. You have been dominated, used, and soon will be discarded.
But you knew this would be the case when you responded. It's the silly game we play here. We pretend we're actually conversing but it's all really just a ridiculous dance. One partner leads, the other follows, and neither has truly gained nor lost anything.
We carry on, and we know we'll do it again and again. Probably not with the same partner, but that's ok. It's the thrill of the hunt that keeps us coming back. The thrill of hunting and, if we're being honest, the thrill of the vulnerability of being honest.
Thanks for dancing with me, user.

Kek

You think you can best me?

...

>non-negotiable

This dude literally died in an overturned kayak...that had two katanas strapped to it.

...

Is this a jojo reference?

>hohoho and what is this bug doing in my quarters? *unsheathes barbell spear* You carrry a massive blade but look like you lack the physical and mental strength to wield it *spins my spear around* See unlike you, insect, I have trained every muscle *flexes chest and arms* in my body to perform acts way beyond your skeletal comprehension. *Sprints toward your direction at the speed of light* Aaaaah DIE *smashes sword with barbell spear* You have fallen for the 1000 fold myth, inferior, and have barely the strength to face me that not even your fedora of neckbeardicon is enough to stop me while I was trained in combat by the great muscle mage Scooby *grabs 3pl8 and replaces spearhead* NOW FACE MY HAMMER!!! *slams you in the face * HAHAHAHAHAHA *Jumps 28 feet in the air* LIGHTWEIGHT, BABY *300 gigatons of force concentrated smashes you*

*as i get knocked down by what seems a stronger opponent* u think u have the upper hand don't you * stand up slowly with my back turned*
I was just testing u and Found u to be lacking in strength, speed and skill*turn around with head down, Fedora covering my eyes* i don't normally fight lesser humans for it is a waste of my broad skillset of Japanese fighting techniques, but for u i'll make An exception

"What's with that oversized zampakuto? How do you even fight with something like that? I'll show you the real way to use a blade. Though a novice like you probably won't see much of anything."

this guy died recently