Momscience thread

>mum started drinking water with lemon because it supposedly "accelerates the metabolism"

But it does user. Same with green tea.

Yeah. Listen to your mom, user.

You want your mom to blast dnp or what

>grow up with chubby mom
>I get Veeky Forums
>inspire mom to work out
>she gets fit
>like, really really fit

>

Send pics.

Impregnate her

>mom quits drinking
>really proud of her
>she starts eating fuck loads of ice cream to "treat" herself for not drinking
>wonders why she gained weight

>living back at parents for 6 months to prepare moving into my new house
>mom finds my whey
>"user, isnt this like steroids? isnt that illegal and unhealthy?"
>mom pls its not even creatine

>suggest my mum lose weight as it will help with her breaving problems
>procedes to lecture me about how one friend she knows has worse breathing problems than her so being overweight actually helps her chest

"3 chicken breasts is too much protein for one day"

>overweight little sister
>eventually has to go to doctor about it
>mum comes back with the idea that it's more important she "gets her 5 a day" than counts calories

probably the doctors fault but still

gets her 5 what?

vagina inspections

I have a buddy that, when he was still living with his parents, had to hide a tub of protein powder under his bed because his parents literally wouldn't allow him to use it

>momscience

>don't worry user, grab another spoon, that rice is diet

She should do one of those underwater weighting tests. She has to tie her hair up, but I'm sure she'll really enjoy it. Can't say the same about me..

Doughnuts

Fruits and veggies

>You don't wanna look like that. It's too big!

Just wear a sports bra, I hear you'll enjoy it better that way

thats the hottest thing I've ever read here.

It seriously does, when I was drinking green tea my poo was green because the bile didn't have long enough to break down.

Half and half here

>"Grapeseed oil is better than vegetable oil, user"

Instead of saying "well it does have slightly more monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fat, which might be beneficial depending on how critical you are about your personal macro count" I test her and ask "Is that right? How do you figure?"

>"....uh, it's a plant-based oil"

>Dammit mom.

Autist

Because it is : ^ )

I always just tell ignorant ass people that its like syrup. But instead of concentrated flavor and sugar its concentrated protein that you mix with water. They usually understand then that its not harmful

My mom cannot shut the fuck up about how unhealthy eggs are and that youre only allowed to eat 2 a week. Showed her several articles proving her wrong. Had bloodtest recently showing my vital signs were very good. Good cholesterol, good blood pressure etc. She still tells me at least once a week that I shouldnt eat so much eggs.

Mom, one day Im going to shove a whole box of eggs in your asshole if you dont stop whining about eggs

And do the thing girls do when she pretends to tie her hair up

This has gotten sexual so suddenly! Wow! My erection is pleased!

This

>ugh I need to lose weight user
>doesn't work out
>goes on whatever flavor of the month meme diet for a week to lose 5 pounds
>gain it back the next week after quitting
>rinse and repeat in a few months

At leastyou don't have to take a shower first.

>moms starts running with friends
>just a social thing but starts going to 5k, 10k, all the way up to half marathons
>all just for fun and socializing with a couple friends
>surprised she doesn't loose weight because her diet hasn't changed at all and know little about nutrition
>can probably squat heavier than me if I taught her how to lift

...

Natty lickeroos

This

>grow up with chubby sister
>I get Veeky Forums
>think i'll inspire her to work out
>she's still a fat sack of shit

Never post this again.

>mom science thread

This is so infuriating.

Lass i used to live with bought some and her dad found it when they moved out and he went fucking mental on her saying she was gonna die early etc. He is literally a doctor and spouting that shit.

>Grow up hoggin the TV to play vidya all day
>sister starts casually working out due of boredom
>Joins an Acrobatic gymnastics group at school
>joins a shitty little club
>joins one of the best clubs in the country
>becomes so good she becomes a gold medalist and a British champion
>eventually quits because she's getting too old and becomes a dancer
>now wants to stop lifting because she's getting too muscular and is self conscious about her thighs
>inspires me to lift

worked the other way around for me lads. Just wish my anorexic, alcoholic mother would listen to us and lift weights/mb do GOMAD and quit smoking.

>Brian Babyman Shaw worlds strongest faggot.jpg*

tell her that scientist have discovered that faster metabolism = shorter life

Yup

>add ground meat into diet because keto
>''aren't you eating too much protein?''