Autistic Veeky Forums stories

This is why i come here

Kek'd

Alpha as fuck son

That's beta as fuck dude, don't do it

Just ask her if she needs a spot next time

post or didnt happen

> omw home with the train
> leave train
> few people there
> girl sees me
> starts walking towards me
> is she really approaching me?
> start sweating
> she starts talking "hey you look good. Want to have sex?"
> people stare at us
> I'm looking at her
> start talking. Don't even know what to say
> nervous as fuck
> "No, you're ugly."
> people still staring
> turn around walk away and miss my train

This happened so hard

>be me

>say no to simple friendly request
>scared to see girl again
>hasn't gone to the gym in a week just to avoid seeing her again
real fuckin alpha

Don't reply to me

no because now you have marked her as yours all you gotta do now is make her your sex slave

>the mind of a maniac

beta as fuck bro

Holy fuck this thread is killing me. I haven't laughed this hard in ages.
Thanks brahs

I disagree, going over to her next time you see her and apologising and saying you were having a bad day or something is perfectly reasonable, and is a perfect ice breaker. When she says something like 'I thought it was a bit weird, don't worry about it' you can ask her name and start some small talk.

She actually was ugly. just had big tits going for her.
But i'm not looking better so ...

Was she ugly?

The saying no part I can understand. We all have our moments of autism but
>I haven't been to the gym in a week now
is just, wow

She actually was ugly. just had big tits going for her.
But i'm not looking better so ...

kek
that's weaponized autism right there

>be me
>go to chipotle twice a week
>girl that works there smiles at me all the time
>girl starts noticing me and tries to talk to me
>"user, you com here a lot! *giggle*"
>me : y e a hhhhhhhh.
the end

I think you mean "weapons grade" not weaponized.

This one happened today mates I am an endless source of cringe to the point where it literally keeps me up at night...
>Walking in the corridor to class
>See qt3.14 grill from one of my other classes, she is a total Stacey
>she is coming my way
> c'mon man be cool
>keep calm and say 'hey you alright?'
>'yes thank you!'
>'Yeah good thanks... Fuck!'
>shuffle away looking at my feet and mumbling the response I would have made if i wasn't socially retarded

no

high school please Evacuate the premises

Ask her to spot you next time you're both there

>no
laugh like it's a running joke, ask for her name
>okay
you have another chance to be less autistic around her
>any other passive aggression
move on, forget about her, keep working out.

I'm 22 m80 i went back to college after 4 years in the workplace

>can't tell if they're interested or just being polite

H E L P

Post the video, user.

>go to small shitty gym when visiting parents
>there literally only 12 pl8s to go around the whole gym
>its fine since theres only about 3 other people at a given time who are all on the treadmill
>also a small open area downstairs for yoga or some shit
>been lifting for about 1.5 years
>almost at 1/2/3/4
>just need to get my diddlys a little higher
>finally decide to go for 4 pl8s
>go at like 11 pm so nobody sees me in case i fail
>struggle with all my might
>finally deadlift 4 pl8s
>celebrate by grunting "Yeah!" several times
>girl walks up the stairs to see what the commotion is
>leave

Assume they're interested. Either they are and something has a chance to happen or they aren't and nothing happens (same as if you do nothing) except you might get a fun autism story to tell.

what a shitty story. Also isn't 90lb curl a bit too much for a teenage faggot?

Well I started weight training when I was 13, by the time I was 18, a senior in high school, it's not that hard to curl 90 lbs a few times. I remember I literally got more mires from the guys that the girls. I guess it doesn't matter how strong you are, if you're autistic girls can somehow sense it

fucking faggot, I came here to laugh and now im just mad

the funniest/scariest thing about this is that there are autists who genuinely believe this is what women mean when they just look at them

Just claim you thought she said "do you have any pot"

So beta that it's alpha

>be junior in high school
>decided to play football with 0 experience
>football program has brawn at dawn
>got to show up to get cookie points if you wanna play
>get really into lifting
>make mad noob gains
>continue lifting until senior year
>accidentally got strong by eating correctly without trying
>now its senior year
>the only person in my 60+ gym class to pick the weights and fitness section in order to get even bigger
>after everyone gets shuffled and forced into weights training, notice the 9/10 junior girl is in my group
>weights coach is also my assistant football coach
>uses me to demonstrate proper forms on certain workouts
>qtpie is mirin
>one day says "wow user, you're pretty strong"
>"t-thanks, you too"
>let it get in my head
>every class, she's flirty with me, but im too autistic to make a move
>now i want to show off
>attempt a 4pl8 squat, even though I know my max is only 350ish
>fail instantly
>make a ton of fucking noise
>destroyed me for weeks
>my aspie feelings get to me
>since I failed in front of her, i don't want to date her since she thinks I'm weak
>tfw a few weeks later she asks me out and I decline, because autism

so let me get this straight:

>girl asked you out because you're too much of an autist to ask her
>the girl is a QT
>she doesnt mind your autism
>you still say no

literally could not have had more favourable circumstances, this is the type of shit guys only dream of.

please kill yourself on livestream.

>at university gym
>benching
>guy next to me is benching 4 times as much as me

Do you know how bad I fucking wish I were you

i know... feels bad man

you can do better than i

Seconded

user, literally walk up to her tomorrow, apologize for being so autistic, and ask her out. She will still say yes. Girls do not start hating you after you reject them, in fact it's usually the opposite.

You did not blow this, you're only going to blow it if you do nothing.

>be in gym
>lift
>hit prs
>feel good
>pass by mirror
>look in mirror
>don't feel so good anymore
>continue lifting

Damn I really needed a spot

>squatting
>dyel and his gf come towards me, ask me how many sets i have left
>5
>they go in some corner, guy """teaches""" the girl how to deadlift
>back more bent than your mother
>i can't help but notice
>really want to go over there and correct her form
>after a while some other guy does exactly that
>now her back is straight (kinda), but she's basically half squatting with the bar hanging in her hands
>autism.tiff
>finally done with squats, time for diddlys
>warm up with 60 kg
>guy is jelly, i can see how he's looking at me, he could barely manage 40 kg when showing his gf
>work my up to 5x130
>he stares at me like I'm trying to impress the girl or something, then leaves
Nigga you want to fucking fight or something? She wasn't even cute ffs.

if they aren't, then flirt u dip

so?

She won't even remember it.

>first day going to gym ever
>no idea what im doing or where anything is
>pretend to use machines while watching other people
>spend an hour cycling at no resistance
>gym is kinda full and fit girl asks to use the bike
>clear throat and breathe heavy to show ive been working out
>get up without clearing machine
>fuck
>she sees 17 miles done with no resistance
>hides her laughter
>im embarassed and feel awkward just standing in middle of gym
>go to first water fountain i see, its in the entrance of one of the locker rooms
>as i drink from the tall fountain i look at the small fountain
>theres a female sign they put on bathrooms standing on it
>"thats weird that women have to drink from the short fountain"
>this somehow doesnt click in my head
>people in gym staring weirdly at the autist in the girls locker room
>staff comes
>"HEY BUDDY, you cant be in the girls locker room"
>freeze in place
>blank stare
>point at sign
>manage to mutter
>"weird fountain"
>no one does anything for awhile
>staff says "just use the mens locker room next time" and walks away
>i shuffle away, do 2 dips on the parallel bars
>walk out and cancel membership

this is why i have a home gym

You should've given her a playful smirk and said, "So do you." Could've gotten that pucci easily famalam.

Apologizing is the most autistic thing a man can do.

I love this

The (lack of) size of my arms makes me uncomfortable

I don't know how

someone save this

How have humans evolved to be so autistic? It doesn't make sense

dude it was probably a prank or one of those muh social experiments,not saying you're an ugly dude or anything but for a girl to ask such a direct and uncomfortable question in front of the public just doesn't add up,she didn't even ask for your number or anything??or your name or try to start a convo?

>be me
>on summer break from college
>cute girl that works the front desk at the gym starts chatting with me
>I keep my autism contained and we talk every time I go
>I get sick and I can't lift for a week
>My brother happens to go to the same gym and she notices that we have the same last name
>She asks where I've been and he tells her
>She says "Tell user I hope he gets better, I miss him"
>I completely change my schedule and start working out in the evenings (she worked mornings)
>go back to college
>never see her again

she will,you don't forget something like that

>tfw I went into hyper autism mode with a qt but have no sane way of explaining it

Well he didn't completely ignore me afterwards so that's something right

I shit the gym. I took some laxatives because I was constipated then went to the gym. I let out a fart, but it turned out to be full blown diarrhea. I ran out the door leaving a trail of shit and never returned. It's not the first place I've done this either. I have doo doo problems.

I'm literally about to explode with shit as I write this. Took some laxatives earlier.

He?

This is Veeky Forums no gays allowed!

you fucking cunt

how do you faggots even fuck up this bad?

>"oh my god, a girl wants to see me, better avoid her at all costs and never come in to contact with her again"
>"hey Veeky Forums why cant I get a gf?"

are you guys actually just closet faggots and thats why you avoid girls who are interested in you?

I told myself that i had to ask her out the next time i saw her. I kept making excuses to why i couldn't see her, then i got used to the routine of lifting at night. Oh well, she was cut but I'm not losing sleep over it.

Fucking why?

>be new to the gym
>usually an early bird so it was almost always empty when i was working out there
>was even allowed to hook up my mp3 player to the gym stereo
>had talking heads playing and a girl walks in
>she starts laughing about the music
>"who the hell works out to this shit?"
>y-yeah
>she tells the manager to change the music
>i go to pick up my mp3 in silence

Over 10 years ago and I still remember that shit.

Fuck her and fuck you.

thanks for the laughs

I go full autist like this a fair bit actually because I'm a somewhat decent looking Eastern European dude who works out at the gym a fair bit but is also a closeted homosexual. Sometimes it feels like a lot of people only go to the gym to meet people because I've had several women flirt with me and I never know how to react. I mean, I'd look like a fucking retard if some gym cutie walks up and I tell her I'm not interested but they're also being too subtle for me to say something like "I'm in a relationship" I usually just go full spaghetti and switch machines or some shit

That probably didn't, but this did
>20
>working as a bouncer for extra money while at uni
>at a higher end bar
>near the end of the night woman approaches me where I stand near the entrance/dance floor
>about mid to late 30s but still hot as fuck
>starts flirting with me, took me ages to realize that's what she was doing
>try to fumble through conversation, somehow she decides she needs to try harder and gets really obvious about it
>literally to the point where she's up against me, grinding against my leg and suggesting that I should stick my tongue down her thoat
>mind goes into overload and shut down because I'm not used to female attention at all, let alone this aggressively
>stammer something about needing to focus on work
>she gives up and leaves, giving me a disappointed look as she walks away
>now 25 and a kissless virgin to this day

> ask 60kg grill to spot your 3pl8 squat

> pretend to struggle, make sure she is trying to help

> bail on squat, grill is crushed, paralysed

> won't be seeing her at the gym anymore

Did you just humblebrag about a 5x130?

i hate you

So do I, but why do you hate me?

what were you playing?

you had the perfect situation and fucking threw it away.

Goodjob on the 4plate
i wish a retard didnt broke my wrist in a jujitsu competition, now i cant DL 4plate wihtout straps.

Oh, yeah fair enough. I hate myself for that too

>tfw I remember that I had a woman literally begging for me to give her some action and I still somehow fucked it up

Forgot a part.

When this happened, I was like 10min from my shift being over. So there wasn't even a time issue of me being stuck at work. I could have left with her almost immediately

>be 20
>still know nothing about proper routine and diet
>loved doing power cleans from high school
>never clicked in my head that you should use bumper plates
>went with another autist friend for first time at new gym
>gym has a "private" area/room that anyone can use
>room is set up mainly for olympic lifts
>we didn't put on bumper plates
>start doing power cleans
>after every clean at the top, we drop the weights
>we also make too much noise vocally, because we are obvious powerlifters
>roidbro rushes in
>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING?"
>"uh sorry"
>"PUT FUCKING BUMPER PLATES ON BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS"
>"y-y-yes sir sorry sir"
>we dont finish the set
>too much adrenaline is running through my body
>really have to liquid shit bad, but I want to leave
>we get an official warning on the way out
>gambled on a fart and lost on the drive home
>friend can't stop gagging, even with his head out the window
>drop him off
>go home and cry in the shower

I don't handle being yelled at very well

>I don't handle being yelled at very well

what are you, a fucking 7 year old girl?

stop being a pussy you little bitch.

yyyes sir sorry

He was watching to see if you were done with the bar

holy shit that just sounds like a terrible day man

Nigga, do not took laxatives if you arent going to be at your house. And instead that i would recomend micro-enemas, much safer and quicker. Trust me, I'm a nurse and I work in a home care.

I literally forget how to speak English when i'm lifting, huffing and puffing and full of adrenaline, I think I mistake it as autism

>1.5 years
>4pl8