Absurd Lifting Habits

>The guy who goes "tss" "tss" like he's made of steam every time he does a rep.

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>The kid who gets dropped off by his mom at the gym

>Oldfags talking about where they work as they slap their dicks together in the locker room

>Kid who wears fingerless gloves to do regular shit.

>not getting behind him and going "choo" "choo" after every rep

>that guy who yawns and wears basketball shorts

>Kid who glares at stronger people than him with a not-so-subtle hatred for all the better lifters.

>that guy who doesn't wear gloves to work out

>Kid with a nike headband taking normie lengthed rests.

>Kid who wears thick swimming goggles to lift weights.
>I've actually seen this.
>I've also seen a kid do a twirl and bow as he takes off his hat after random sets. multiple times

>Kid who wears velcro shoes

Oh fuck that's me. What's wrong with this? It feels a lot more natural to me than groaning and grunting.

*choo choo's away sadly*

>those guys who hog a squat rack and sit around the rack just staring at their phones

>That guy who doesn't touch the bar to his chest

fight me bitch

>that guy who nods during eye contact

Am I meant to walk?

why do people do this

fight me

fuck i hate making eye contact with people at the gym, what do

How do you even do that?
Wouldn't that fuck up your squat entirely?

Because i dont want to talk to you but i also don't want to seem rude and act like you don't exist its called manners you autist

>why do people do this

That's me. I'm 23. Learning to drive now

>the guy who does air boxing between sets

Pussy.

>that guy who thinks lifting will solve his problems

>that girl who is intimidated by you cus you are a creep

always makes my day

I really hate that fucking guy

to say hello without speaking, I dunno I do it when new people walk in

fuck you

>that young sorta chubby guy doing SS who is obviously seething with rage and frustration at every aspect of his life

Why does he do it, why..

i keep them on because im too lazy

I make "foo, foo" noises when i breathe out.

>not sharply exhaling with each rep
learn to lift kiddo

As a mixed martial artist who transitioned into lifting a few years ago, I still have this habit when I get to the heavier sets since I was taught that part of my exerted power is propelled by proper breathing techniques. Basically having a system of any kind to monitor breathing is essential for active meditation while lifting and entering the trance of painless muscle-memorized motion. Like profesional cyclist with proper breathing, I can go for hours. I have developed the cardio to lift nearing the intensity of roids while out lasting most roiders in endurance and stamina, as my average workout ranges from 3-5 hours.

How the fuck am I supposed to upright row my deadlift

I do this sometimes when I'm to lazy to change my cycling shoes to start lifting

If you make silent eye contact with anyone for 15 seconds you are almost guaranteed to fuck them if you hit them up afterwords. Nodding kills this.

Sounds like you wanna fug him bruh? You some sort of homo bruh?

Old men aren't oldfags you stupid reddit child.

Are you autismo? Legit question.

It took me a few reads before getting it too

D lete this

Why you mad about other people OP? You need to breathe properly when you lift, and maybe that helps these people breathe more comfortably. If you're this autistic just get a home gym.

She looks a bit like Justin Bieber in that pic.

there was no need to type so many words just to let us know you punched people

You should be breathing out during your rep, not afterwards.

Except not at all

Stop watching your sets in the mirror faggot.

Delet this.

I do that, sorry breh try not to

I wanted you guys to answer it for me because I have no idea why I do it

Not when you're using your core as support like in squats or DL or OHP or bent over row...

Got a problem with me you fucking cookie-cutter? Don't claim what you can't take by force, come fight me. You know the address, no liability. Fight, posing, teeth contest, whatever, I'm down for it. 330lbs and I haven't put on an ounce of fat, think you can take me on little boy? Weighing 100lbs there with your tattoos and your gym-etiquette, what about the porno? What about the porn DALE?

>the guy that wears boxer shorts in the shower

ask me how i know that you are talking about yourself

I'll smash a 2x4 into your skull then rape you in the street while I caress your bloated gut, Lenny.

Great I'll see you at the gym. Will give some great motivation for my sets. Afterwards maybe we can go out back and you give me a cleveland steamer.

They're called shower shorts. Stop trying to look at my dick, fag.

Yeah I bet you like taking shits on men

I'll fucking murder you before your round gut causes your ribcage to collapse

>nods down to people you generally want to show respect like people much older than you or people with whom you have formal relationship
>nods up to friends or much younger people

I don't know how and when but everyone around me seem to agreed on and follow these rules.

Found the retard

t. retard

No your a retard

...

>the guy who puts you on your knees and makes you suck his hot sweaty cock in the locker room after a workout

"I'm not just getting stronger. I know how to fight. Beware."

where did you fight, the Ultimate Fedora Championship?

valsalva maneuver is the universally accepted method of breathing during a heavy lift

anyone going ptchooooffsssssspppp during a heavy deadlift or squat is a certified mongoloid

Have fun popping a blood vessel

Did you attend the non nude convention fag?

>The last time a purple fedora was in the octagon, Joe, was in 06 when it fought a black belted fedora for the middle bend fedora championship
>I dunno Mike, it looks like the red Fedora is tipping really hard, I dunno how long the purple fedora will be abl-
>IT IS ALL OVER! JUST. LIKE. THAT.
>woooooooooooow

No one cares about your alfalfa maneuvers, it doesn't mean you have to breathe like a 7 year old girl sneezing.

>your
Of course retards can't even get there spelling right

BAITED

have fun lifting less than me

valsalva is holding your breath, pushing out against a closed diaphragm

opposite of meme-breathing

no more Goldie-isms, it's the end of an era

>That family of 5 who go to the gym together

>the personal trainer thats always taking some hot bitch and seems to know everybody. Successful, handsome and fuckig ripped.

>that guy who does a latspread 24/7

>user! What happened to your eye?? Why is it all red??
> I... uh... I was l-lifting and performing the vava- I mean valsals- I mean valvala maneuver...

>no more Goldie-isms, it's the end of an era
I don't know if Dana told the new guy to do this, or if he does it as a joke or to fuck with people, but the guy who replaces Mike is acting like him down to the stare and the real serious focused smile and look when the other guy is talking.

Pic related, not sure what his name is.

Guy is basically little mike

>valsalva maneuver
>causing you to burst blood vessels in your eyes

lmao @ u

stop posting fag you don't know anything about lifting, maybe /r9k/ is more your speed

That's Jon Anik, he's been with the UFC for a long time but he usually does non PPV cards - FS1 cards, Fight Pass cards usually get Jon Anik and Brian Stann commentating (unless it's a UK card or a europe card, then you get Dan Hardy and other british guy)

Mike should have gotten a proper send-off

kek

Yeah, he should have

Fuck you

I know what vulva maneuver is, and you should use it, but it doesn't mean you have to sound like a steam engine.

no, you don't know what the valsalva maneuver is

because you think the valsalva maneuver makes a steam-engine noise

the valsalva maneuver makes no noise at all, because no air is escaping your lungs

stop posting

...

>that fat girl who spends 95% of the time chatting with other people or typing on her phone and 5% doing exercise
There's nothing worse than a lazy fat person.

>curse you sudden but inevitable betrayal

Autistic breathing techniques BTFO in this ITT thread

>that guy who loudly recites passage from Mein Kampf in between sets

>tfw your gym plays your favorite workout song
youtube.com/watch?v=u1sEt3NjHNA

>that girl who wears extra short shorts and only does good mornings

Im not looking at your dick, faggot. Im looking at your ass.

>the guy that is shadow boxing between his sets

You forgot the "no homo" bro

Imma keep nodding then.