Not doing /startingsquire/

Arthur is LITERALLY drinking mead while YOU spend HOURS working on your swing

But my liege, thy goblins of gains only allowances 300 calories worth of bellytimber per day. Mayhaps I shall commit thievery from the huftytufty windsuckers in thine village.

Underrated post

>tfw mass famine and raids
>tfw Lord Chadwick steals your gf
>tfw unable to make gains on cabbage soup diet
Some of you guys are alright. Don't go to Agincourt tomorrow.

>Thine serf touches thy maiden on her romp in thy courtyard. How doest thou retort?

It was posted 9 minutes before you commented.

Stop samefagging

*teleports behind you*
*unsheaths arming sword
Pshh... Nothing personnel, villein.

Thoughts on SlashFit?

How many flagons will it be today sir?

>thine visage when maceday

5'8'' master race here. When will thou manlets even learn?

>thou shall never unleash fire upon saracens
>thou shall never safe fair maidens from all the lands because Arthur will always hoist theyr gaze before thine
>thou shall never hoist lmao3dead at once while ravaging the land

Unleash upon me thy single reason as to why thou hast not succumbed to the vile nothingness of the undivine.

Born too late to liberate the holy lands
Born too early to join the intergalactic space crusades
Born just in time to play dank videogames.

bitch please. I dual wield

lel enjoy getting arrowed/stabbed

*tips kettlehelm*

>dual wielding
>not a heathen

picketh one and repent, filth !

>fighting without shields

It's injury city

I love you Veeky Forums

>Natural topmost performance.
>Consumes enchanted mushrooms.
>How can thou compete with these heathen Danes?

>tfw no maiden

watching that shit was the last time /heem/ was actually good

S N A P
N
A
P
C I T Y
I
T
Y

When will swinglets learn

I swing a fencing hex crowbar around in the backyard. It feels pretty autistic but its nice moving weight around like that

Love this game

>too late to liberate the holy lands

Who the fuck do you think controls them then?
Hell, you could do the mudslides a favour and drive the saudicucks from their holy places too.
Then keep marching and drive the chinks out of Tibet while you've the taste for blood.

None of this Christian faggotry of repeated failed crusading.

Oh and if you're any good you could kick the Christ-fags out of the Americas so that glorious animist pagan gods may once again reign supreme!

Nice try Pocahontas, your gods are dead and soon your people are as well. Hadn't it been for the white christian man you'd still be killing and raping eachother in your foreskin-huts.

Admire my sinews brothers?

Join the army. Nothing feels as freeing as taking off your gear after a week-long exercise.

kek

Well you could get into Battle of the Nations / Armored Combat League. You get to wear armor and beat up people.

>Swinging in the archery stand

>not dual wielding 2 handed swords for maximum gains

kek

Fellow Knightlets, do you find thou maketh better gains doing skullcrushers on Persians or frenchmen?

That's the equivalent of doing something like chest flies with two barbells, i.e. being fucking retarded

With Saracens one also maketh gains with God

This is the ideal male armor. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

>baron split
KEK

...

...

Sweareth to the Natty Lord above, these these threads are some of my favorite on Veeky Forums.

Thank you, guys.

>the gains goblins raided the village again
>Sir Chadwick was nowhere to be seen, of course
>The king levies a new tax on milk to pay for the repairs
Tapestry related

>walketh into the gym
>the bard is harrowing on ye lute

>walketh into the gym
>forgot to pay ye squire

Shall those gents ev'r learneth?

>William is literally shooting arrows and burning my villages while I'm stuck in the mud

>that feeleth at which hour a fair mistress with a big rampallian wast hoisting base near me
BRETH'RS

Is Excalibur a meme? Does it help with gains or would I be better off using a normal steel sword?

FOUR LADLES C'MON

>labor fortnight after fortnight to increase size of mine shoulders

>younger squire just buys bigger pauldrons

Forsooth I say, why hoist

>Made by the Fey, with materials not found on this plane
>natural
Ye may choose but one, sirrah

>Beith me in ye ol' training ground
>partaking in a set of Monastic Marches
>as if from God's own grace I spot the fairest of maidens enter the training ground
>Fair maiden hath approached my person
>'May thou teacheth me that hoist sir'
>P-pardon m-m-ma lady but there art to be no wenches upon the training ground
>oheth, my apologies sir, I shall leaveth at once.
>Maiden departs with all due haste, cheeks adorned with tears
>OhLordWhatHaveIDone.tapestry

Forsake this village idiots wit that hath been bestowed upon me by the all mighty

Deus Volt still

fucking kek

Shall thee buyeth an did enlarge cod piece to wend 'long with thy feminine shoulders too?

>falling for this legend
Shiggith diggyth

L.A. KNIGHT TOURNAMENT - LOST IN A DUEL WITH A MOOR - LADY CHANEL HAS FORSAKEN ME - STICK HANGING BELOW THY STONES - 2 FEASTS IN A DAY - PLAGUE IS BACK

>that guy who wears chainmail at training

...

Train as you fight mate

>tfw you will never be born for the sole purpose of becoming a master swordsman
>you will never be thrown into the wilderness in your teens to fend for yourself for weeks or months
>you will never become a man by killing some exotic animal with a dagger
>you will never have the chance to become the most deadly man with a sword
>you will never fight with your brothers in arms against impossible odds only to come out victorious

There's literally no point

underrated kekkerinos

>not cannibalizing slain opponents for protein most plentiful
Verily, thou shalt ne'er make it

For whence does the madness to hoist originate, when in thine minds and hearts, thoust knowst it be all but derived from one's countenance?

Thou art wasting thy time*

>Lord Chadwick
hearty kek

When will thou realize tis' all about thy countenance?

Whilst thou wastes thy time training, Chadwick is bedding fair maidens.

Maiden, wouldst thou care for a rolleth in mine whey?

Ye works m9.

>didn't capitalize swing
almost had it

>be me
>cherishing nectarous novice growths
>new helmet
>visit homevillage
>cousin (15) exclaims "pectus", reaches under armor and palpates rib cage for 10-20 seconds
>asks if I've been hoisting
>contract arm "thou inform me"
>"oh thy god"
>holds my spaulders as we stroll along the street with her girlfriend later that day
>fondles my midriff at banquet
>"sturdy"

>mfw

Wrong. "Thou" is the nominative case i.e. the subject of the sentence while "ye" is the vocative case plural i.e. the form of a word used for addressing multiple persons.

>LEAVETH HUMANKIND AT YOUR BEHINDS
>WHATEV'R DOTH TAKES
>4 SHOVELS C'MON

Thou attendeth yonder GYMNASIUM and hoist STONE while Chadley doth consume PASTRIES and fornicate with WENCHES

Original Scrollbearer, I declare ye a faggot

>spendest thy youth hunting on father's estate using a bow upon horseback
>venture forth to local archery meet
>canst barely draw a longbow for one measly repetition
GABRIEL eats BARLEY and can draw a 400lb longbow for REPETITIONS while you eat VENISON and can't even do ONE DRAW

>a GALLON of beer?

Holy kek

>4 SHOVELS C'MON

Surely thou meanst COMETH FORWARDS!

The noble catchprase of Sir Richard

underrated

Kekkkk

>"are you raping, anonymous?"

>be I
>errant givith from me lorde to monitor local serfdom for heretical indecency
>on horseback
>approach commune
>lusty young serf lass approacheth
>sinful.scripture
>"Dear ser, wouldst thou mayhaps assist me with this hefty load for me farm? Pa is sick and me lady likeness too weak, but thou looketh so very strong."
>spill cabbage
>"Uh... thou also"
>dismout cabby and appear comparatively shorter than the maiden, nae curse the lord for appearing a knightlet
>regardless, begin to hoist heavy load with the blessing of God and place into barn
>and /rd/ - Readiness said I wouldst appear a large legged serpent by hoisting every training day
>the maiden asketh me to join her in her personal abode
>straightened.tapestry
>gander her abode
>heretical papers and witchcraft symbols appear vacantly across her writing area
>God wills me to strike down the wench but me broach wills me to strike with a different sort of sword
>kill the witch and defile and exulcerate her bare arse
amst I a simpleton or didst I preform correctly, dear brothers?

How can you even compete with this?

All you plebs hoist in futile efforts to gain fame, when its all about HORSE, FORTUNE and FAMILY.

Lord Chadwick moistures all the fair maidens because of these things, whilst thou practice swings and drink a gallon of beer a day, watching your serf touch your wife

drawing related

Lord Carp pursuing complements again, verily, harken off back to readdit

Nice try uncle Sam

>not planting thine seed in thine cousin
>not promoting a most fine and sturdy bloodline
not gonna maketh it

Verily correct, thy brother.
Trust thee burnt the wenche's foul abode afterwards?