I'll just leave this here

>I'll just leave this here...

lmao its not that being nice makes you life failure its just that life failures try to be nice with hopes that someone will finally like them

plenty of good looking, succesful people who could be described as nice guys

>being nice
>wanting something in return

This is the whole point. You are not really nice, or a good person for that matter, when you are just doing it to get something in return: Sex, love, appreciation

Being an asshole, not for the sake of being an asshole, to get something is the same really.

I read this book last week, perhaps the most important book I've ever read. Really eye opening stuff.

That's what the book teaches, basically.

So when I want someone to treat me the same way I treat them then I am an asshole?

Never read the book but yes, I do draw a good amount of my self confidence from the fact that I was raised very well and am "the nice guy".
In these times that term is used as insult - but I am actually very proud of it. Being an inconsiderate fuck isn't hard at all.
Setting yourself behind others for things that do not really matter much to you but maybe to those you are setting yourself behind ... that does take some effort.

Wrong, try reading the book.

When you are being nice out of position of abundance than most people will be nice to you aswell.

If however you are being nice from a position of deficiency most people will sense that shit and probably treat you like garbage.

Really that simple

I've read that book and thought it was great. After a few years, I realized it's a horrible book. It goes to a parallel route, it assumes your problem is a symptom of your problem and tries to fix that without making you really connect with what's up. It's like you are sick and have a fever and it teaches you to cool down. You will cool down and it will feel great and it can even help you at some point, but your issues was not dealt with as of yet.

If you're struggling with how you position yourself in relation to others (ie always trying to fix everything at all costs, you help others but not yourself, you feel in debt or that the others are in debt with you and so on), then you should go see a psychoanalyst and talk your problem out. Instead of these two ends ("being a nice guy" vs "getting what you want"), there is a third route and potentially a lot of others which is more subtle but more rewarding in the long run. Sometimes it is exactly because you feel entitled to "getting what you want" that you are "nice" to others (in the sense of being their puppy).

The real change of mindset is much more radical and profound then that.

That piece of garbage can be summarized in a couple of paragraphs.

Try your own words.
Who isn't in some kind of deficiency? What do you even mean when you say that?

I, as everyone else, have insecuries, yes.
Am I nice to a person because I think that will bond that person closer to me?
Yes, I believe treating people well makes them treat you well too.

And you are telling me that this is bad?

Mental advice shit doesn't belong here faggot

>has insecurities
Never gonna make it like that, brah

How is this so hard to understand?

When I am being nice for sake of genuinly being a good person and because I want to make the lifes of the people I come in contact with better. When I have shit to give. That is abundance.

When I am being nice so that the girl next door has sex with me, or because I want other people to make my life better. That is deficiency.

>implying you can make it without mental fitness

fag

Also I am not arguing about niceness in gerneral being good or bad. I'm just trying to differentiate how other people interprete certain kinds of 'nice guys'.

Read the books it's really short

Red countless similar books, so I don't really think I get anything out of it other than
>be yourself
>treat yourself first

Which is really just normie starting advice.

Sure, in the example of "being nice to get sex" it's simple.
But in real life, it's way less concrete.

See, I believe that me being "nice" makes partners I have love and appriciate me.
But I also am "nice" simply because I think it's right.

Now what? There are both sides in there.

I see what you're saying but it's not really helpful, what to do in a position of deficiency?

Well you probably should be nice to your loved ones just because, not because you want to be loved back. That is the whole point.

Well if you know you come from that position it is worth quite alot, because most don't even recognize it.

Just start giving, helping, sharing without wanting something back. Most importantly be honest to yourself about your motivations.

you didnt talk much about the third option
what is it?

This is the first book I've read in self-improvement
But I've read trash like think and grow Rich too
Read this one plz
Literally changed me overnight
Made me realise why I was consciously being a beta and why I built an identity around that
Now if I'm nice it's just because. Not because I have an ulterior motive or an unwritten contract. This books eleminates the latter need by explaining why you do it, how it's bad for you and others and most importantly how it so Oly doesn't work and only makes you more despondent

**And most importantly how it simply doesn't work

Jesus fuck that book is like 3 sentences worth of information stretched to a hundred pages.
>by facing your childhood abandonment issues you will learn to accept yourself just as you are, have your needs met and get the life and love you deserve

The guy copypastes whole sections and repeats himself ad nauseam. There are many other catchphrases he reuses over and over until you just learn to recognize them and scroll past.