ITT: Events from history that sound like fiction

>One of the five jets had begun to taxi down the runway when Boya teed off. The errant shot flew high into the air and struck a low flying sea gull knocking him unconscious. The stricken bird fell from the sky landing in the open cockpit of the taxiing jet. When the gull landed in the lap of the pilot, the startled bird began to flap about wildly and peck at the pilot who was startled and quickly lost control of the jet. The bird flew out of the jet at the last moment just as the pilot crashed into the four other Mirage jets parked near the runway damaging or destroying them all.

xairforces.net/newsd.asp?newsid=1270&newst=2#.WnJF8Yjwa01

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dietrich_von_Hülsen-Haeseler
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khadija_bint_Khuwaylid
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

>Be Wilhelm "Wild Willy" II
>Friend and adviser is embroiled in homosexuality scandal.
>Be forced to fire him.
>Be depressed.
>Your entourage of middle aged generals decides to try and cheer you up.
>One of them puts on a pink tutu and dances for you.
>Has heart attack,
>Dies.
>By the time help shows up rigor motis has set in, and they have trouble taking the tutu off.
>mfw

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dietrich_von_Hülsen-Haeseler

Women were central to the Congress of Vienna. Zamoyski almost loses count of the number Metternich slept with. Talleyrand did an Alan Clark by sleeping with a mother and her daughter. Tsar Alexander took his revenge on Metternich (who opposed the Russian desire to incorporate Poland as a Russian province) by sleeping with his mistress. And of course Britain joined this diplomatic shagfest by sending the handsome young Frederick Lamb to sleep with Metternich's mistress. Pillow talk provided the principals with information on what their rivals were up to.

Lord Stewart, Britain's ambassador to the Austrian emperor, was regularly seen drunk about Vienna and set up with his mistress at an inn, "which they have turned into a fucking-shop", as one of Metternich's vast network of informers reported.

What about greatly out numbered victories in wars?
100 Australian soldiers held off 4000 north Vietnamese soldiers, the most unbelievable part is that they didn't just beat them they apparently handed their asses to them.

>One of the longest reigning kings of the country has bouts of severe madness in which he believes he is made out of glass and that someone touching him will shatter him.
>His cousins are all major nobles who spend decades jostling for the power of regency and plunge the country into a civil war.
>His Cousins resort to assassinating each other.
>One of the sons of an assassinated cousin allies with a foreign invader and absolutely wrecks the northern part of the Kingdom
>The mad king dies and is succeeded by a semi-competent if despondent king who was pussy whipped back into action by his mistress.
>Just as the kingdom is in its hour of need a peasant maid appears at court claiming she was sent by god to deliver the kingdom from evil.
>After checking out her cooch to see if she is still a virgin she is promptly given command of the army along with a set of experienced advisers.
>The army proceeds to utterly wreck the invaders and take back a couple of key cities.
>The peasant girl is then captured by the enemy and burned at the stake for heresy
>One of her close advisers turned out to be a literal satanist who had kidnapped, raped and sacrificed up to a hundred children to

And that ladies and gentleman is why the 100 years war is absolutely bonkers.

Stalinesque Burmese president Ne Win had a favourite number. Don’t we all?But he was a bit more serious about his.

In 1987, he abolished at a stroke all bank notes that weren’t divisible by it. This left only the 45 and 90 kyat notes in circulation. That’s right, mathematicians: his favourite number was nine. In this inverse monetary bingo, anyone whose life savings were differently denominated was instantly bankrupted. National chaos ensued, and the national resistance movement headed by Aung San Suu Kyi was born.

WW1 in general just seems too fantastical to be real.

>Early on the morning of September 11, 2001, 19 hijackers took control of four commercial airliners (two Boeing 757 and two Boeing 767) en route to California (three headed to LAX in Los Angeles, and one to SFO in San Francisco) after takeoffs from Logan International Airport in Boston, Massachusetts; Newark Liberty International Airport in Newark, New Jersey; and Washington Dulles International Airport in Loudoun and Fairfax counties in Virginia.[93] Large planes with long flights were selected for hijacking because they would be heavily fueled.[94]

>The four flights were:

>American Airlines Flight 11: a Boeing 767 aircraft, departed Logan Airport at 7:59 a.m. en route to Los Angeles with a crew of 11 and 76 passengers, not including five hijackers. The hijackers flew the plane into the northern facade of the North Tower of the World Trade Center in New York City at 8:46 a.m.

>United Airlines Flight 175: a Boeing 767 aircraft, departed Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. en route to Los Angeles with a crew of nine and 51 passengers, not including five hijackers. The hijackers flew the plane into the southern facade of the South Tower of the World Trade Center in New York City at 9:03 a.m.

>American Airlines Flight 77: a Boeing 757 aircraft, departed Washington Dulles International Airport at 8:20 a.m. en route to Los Angeles with a crew of six and 53 passengers, not including five hijackers. The hijackers flew the plane into the western facade of the Pentagon in Arlington County, Virginia, at 9:37 a.m.

>United Airlines Flight 93: a Boeing 757 aircraft, departed Newark International Airport at 8:42 a.m. en route to San Francisco, with a crew of seven and 33 passengers, not including four hijackers. As passengers attempted to subdue the hijackers, the aircraft crashed into a field in Stonycreek Township near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, at 10:03 a.m.

The Holocau-

Nah, I'm kidding.

This guy though. His life story is basically a Schindler's List/Rambo crossover fanfiction.

The history of the EIC is insane in general since they had a lot of early encounters they only survived out of luck, but what's craziest is that there was a never formal plan for it.

It originally DID start as just a company but as the mid-18th century Indian powers declined it took it's chance and started expanding.

>ctrl + f
>no "early history of islam"
Wew

Oh god this. If we take the charges at face value, the dude was trying to summon a demon named "Barron" to grant him special powers or something. His castle was filled up with the remains of children, and their organs were in jars in some sort of weird dungeon/lab he had dedicated to the occult. The French have a tradition of just utterly fucking insane leaders, heroes and intellectuals.

>811AD
>It's been only a century since Bulgars pretty much stole the south eastern part of the Eastern Roman Empire
>Empero Nikephoros I thinks it's about time they rectify that.
>He launches a massive campaign against Bulgaria oblitherathing anything in his path
>The Bulgar ruler Khanasubigi Korum is far to the north destroying what's left of the Avar Khaganate after Charlemange kicked their arses.
>Nikephoros takes the Bulgar Capital of Pliska, burns it to the ground, slaughters the aristocracy and then plunders Korums wine cellars (for some reason all of the contemporary historians think this is a big deal)
>No capital, half of the land is burning, no aristocracy Bulgaria is pretty much done for
>Korum gets the news and rushes back to the capital on the way he mobilizes everyone, literally everyone children, women, criples.
>Nikephoros is preparad for a counter attack so he digs in at Pliska
>Korum however circles the Balkan mountains and digs in, not to be heard for months.
>Nikephoros sure that the back of the enemy forces is broken organizes his army and orders it back to Constantinople through the Varbitza pass.
>Guess who's waiting on the high mountain ridges around Varbitza pass.
>Korum first sends the women and the children
>The Romans laugh at the sight of women charging them, they quickly repulse the attack the women start retreating up the slopes and are being massacred.
>The Roman army brakes rank and starts giving chase, then the Bulgar cavalry charges down the hills mowing down their own women and Romans aline whilst the infantry blocks the back and front of the enemy.
>What's left of the female force turns back and charges the enemy again
>Romans try to retreat to no avail
>Nikephoros is killed in the battle, his son gets an arrow in the neck dies 2 months later
>Nikephoros' head is made into a drinking cup
>That battle pass is said to be the main motion behind the great Basil II Boulgaroktonos' hatred towards Bulgars

Degenerate nobility shits
Napoleon was right to oppose them (although he was a degenerate too as he slept with his sister and a 13 years old girl)

King Charles XII during the Battle of Poltava in 1709. He had been shot in the foot a few days before the battle so he had to be carried around in a litter. When it was clear the Russians were about to completely defeat the Swedish, Charles ordered his litter be carried out onto the field of battle to rally the troops. He had like eighteen litter-bearers, and every single one of them was shot dead around him. More Swedes hurried over to pick back up the litter, but all of them were shot too. Charles fell out of the littler onto the ground, and a Swedish officer rode up to him and gave him his horse. Just a Charles was climbing onto the horse, the officer was cut down by a Russian sabre. Charles escaped mere seconds before being cut down himself.

There's also another story about Charles, which is when he sought asylum with the Ottoman Empire after escaping Russia following his defeat at Poltava. The Sultan let him build this house and live there with a bunch of his officers while they negotiated with the Russians. It was eventually arranged for Charles to be given safe passage back to Sweden, but he refused to leave. The Sultan offered him heaps of gold, but he kept refusing to step foot outside of his house. Eventually the Sultan cracked it and sent the Ottoman army to besiege the house. Thousands of Turks surrounded the house, and a few dozen rushed in to try to arrest Charles. He and a few of his loyal officers fought them off with pistols and swords, even setting the house on fire. The fought off the Turks for hours until they were defeated and arrested, then sent packing back to Sweden.

The guy was an actual madman.

Napoleon slept with neither of them. Don't believe Anglo propaganda.

>he thinks a house is suppoused to be comfy
IT IS IN AN IMMOBILE FORTIFICATION

iktf

>leader is feeling blue
>figure I should do something to cheer him up
>first thing that comes to mind is getting into a pink tutu and dancing for him


What the fuck

>the man who literally crowned himself emperor
When it came to opposing nobles he was like a little baby

There were 100 australians there but I don't think it was just them, it was like 300 guys in total in the muddiest shittiest forest during a torrential downpour.

krauts are irl autistic

somewhere in the campaign against the poles and russians he broke and his insane luck ran out when his madman moves stopped working

And they had very effective artillery support, which is what caused most the vietnamese casualties

Hhhhhhmmmmmmm Nootka

Man with expansion like that now wonder they thought God was on their side

Who was that homosexual friend in question?

Philipp zu Eulenburg

Except he re-introduced the French nobility, to the chagrin of his revolutionary predecessors.

mfw I realized that World War I was caused by German nobility wanting to cover up a maassive homosex scandal centered on Willy II.
Who was also homosex.
And mentally retarded.

there were multiple battles in the Korean War where Americans or Canadians (probably others too) held off the Chinese while outnumbered 1000-1

Fuck off Tatar piece of shit

>be a person of noble birth
>competing for a leadership of holy city
>critical towards current tribal culture without no political unity
>marrying beautiful and rich "ara-ara milf"
>frustrated about state of society,while meditating in faraway cave, visited by angel
>designing new kind of multi aspects value by combining previous religion
>trying to do moderate moral reform, but defeated, wife and grandpa protector pass away, decided to move out from holy city
>after getting a base, recruiting powerful ally
>after several war, enemy turn friend
>retaking holy city, destroying pagan tribal symbol to create single religious political identity
>returning to the base city he commands the expansion of his territory based on moral reform
>during his life he is ntr-ing handful of individual after killing the husband in war, even his adopted son, receiving exotic maid from egypt, marrying loli daughter of his friend
>his political movement with religious package exist until now

this certain person living the life of manga or JRPG
and as a man he's got patrician taste, trying all type of fetishized women.

only moral fagget with black and white view hate this man

mashallah

if we met he prolly killing me though for being non believer

Which isekai is this?

It was meritocratic nobility tho
Some of his generals, sons of shoes makers, inn owner...etc, acquired nobility during his reign

>up and coming tribe of male criminal goat herders need women
>they set up a religious festival and invite the neighboring Sabine tribe
>A horn is blown and all at once the men start grabbing the Sabine women, the Sabine men get spooked and run away
>the next day the Sabine fathers and brothers of the women march out to the field to meet the romans
>the 2 armys stand off across from each other
>the Sabine women who were captured the night before run in-between both army's and implore them not to fight
>the romans agree to marry the Sabine women and sign a peace treaty between both tribes

Nah, Mo's pretty chill when meeting individuals and just talking. Heck, he might even try to convert you.
He just hates it when the whole group gangs up so he massacres them all (see: Banu Qurayza)

On the german wiki it also says that Willy had a nervous breakdown when the general died.

I'm greek by the way...

I fucking love the Russo-japanese war

gimme a tl;dr of this

russian pacific fleet gets btfo by the japanese, russians try to send their baltic fleet to reinforce, it mostly dies before even reaching India. Fucking read it, it's a hilarious tale of blunder after blunder after blunder.

it's worth a read
it's like watching a guy in wheelchair fall down a five story flight of stairs into a pit of snakes on fire

>rigor motis has set in

The fuck? They kept the corpse around for a few hours before they bothered to touch it?

Wilhelm's life was pain
From the moment he was born everything started going wrong

baller

Just the fact that people were using swords and horses on the same battlefield that tanks and fighter planes is what makes it so interesting. Clash of classical and modern really.

Operation Anthropoid, Allied agents landed in and attempted assassination on Nazi official Reinhard Heydrich (Butcher of Prague) in Prague. One of them stops his car by standing in front of it, unloads fire on Heydrich with an SMG but it jams. Driver shoots at the assassin with a Luger and the assassin throws a tank grenade at the car and blows shrapnel from the car into Heydrich. Heydrich returns fire, completely unphased by the shrapnel lodged into him. One assassins gets away on bike and the other is chased by the driver into a butcher shop. Driver is shot twice and injured and the assassin escapes to a safehouse. Heydrich dies of his injuries in the hospital. It's like a fucking Tarantino film.

>Belonged to one of the most august noble families in a great power.
>Had a sister who once literally had a bunch of thugs gang rape a fellow nobleman for calling her a whore.
>Got caught crossdressing in an attempt to get some puss from the supreme religious leader's wife during a religious festival in that leaders own house.
>During the trial for this breach of religious law the religious leader who you tried to literally cuck refuses to say anything against you, instead chooses to divorce his wife.
>A couple of years pass, this guy is now the crony of the religious leader.
>Really likes to slum it up.
>Decides to relinquish himself of his own nobility to legally become a filthy commoner.
>Starts running a gang.
>Take over the streets of the imperial capital.
>Have street wars with the most senior commander in the empire for the lulz and the political gain it grants your previously mention friend who is off fighting some war.
>Decides 'fuck it' and start working against your own former friend.
>Becomes (informal) top dog and controller of the capital city.

>survived -40 c temperature,finnish saunas,artillery strikes,sniper squad and an explosive anti tank bullet to the face

Forgot pic.

A squad of tanks too. And he found time to lead a squad of troops too.

And I know believe Basil did nothing wrong.

>>marrying beautiful and rich "ara-ara milf"
r-really?

...

Basil 'if you're a Bulgar you're not up to par' II did nothing wrong
Dirtbags got what was coming to 'em

...

Makes me laugh every time

Weren't they exiled because they betrayed him later on?

>Zhang Zhongchang
>named by Time magazine 'China's Basest Warlord
>Kept a harem of 50+ women: Russians, French, Koreans, Japanese, Americans. Gave them numbers because he couldn't remember their names
>Started off as a petty gang leader, ended up carving a fief for himself in Shangdong

This guy was an irl Rance

Add
>The maid is put on trial for heresy and found guilty.
>because Heresy was only capital offense for repeat offenders. The maid was sentenced to death for cross dressing.
>She was wearing male clothes because they would be harder to remove by force and offer some protection from rape
>The trial is so retarded that the Inquisition refused to sanction it and eventually overturned the verdict, although a little too late.

>when the INQUISITION thinks your kangaroo court has gone too far but you say naw fuck it let's keep going

Fuck the French. Joan was one of the very few non-degenerate, non-autistic frogs.

>Kept a harem of 50+ women: Russians, French, Koreans, Japanese, Americans.
Were the western ladies people who had travelled to China for the purpose of becoming members of his harem?

>Falling for the inquisition were a bunch of loonies-meme

It was a different time.

Never said he did

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khadija_bint_Khuwaylid