Day 3 of /nopoop/

>Day 730 of no fap
>Left humanity behind further than the 5 percent
>When I do pushups I move the earth
>Saw a test boost thread on Veeky Forums
>huge explosion reported on sky radio
>/x/ thinks it was alien conspiracy
>was really my benis exploding

AYY LMAO

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>>tfw realize i could take a 10 incher when looking at the logs im excreting

Having this thought is the first sign of a straight man turning gay... welcome to Veeky Forums

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>creating no waste product
>created this post

Lmao op you're full of SHIT!

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¡AY CARAMBA!

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I've literally gone a week without shitting before
Ending up shitting a perfectly round shitbrick that was so hard it would have bounced on concrete

I bled a bit getting that out

tfw I've been squatting on the toilet since i was a toddler because it felt more natural. my parents hated it, my gf doesnt understand the stains on the toilet seat, but fuck it it feels so good

You gonna end up breaking that shit one day and end up with shattered porcelain up your ass

>my gf doesnt understand the stains on the toilet seat
Why are you squatting on the seat idiot, and I take it you're doing it with your shoes on inside your house and not wiping it down for it to have stains.
But I too have been squatting to shit since always.

He's probably American
They can't take off their shoes inside

You're probably meming but this is actually super dangerous. The toilet breaks and then shards go into your ass and you die. This has literally happened before

>day 5 of /nosleep/
>awake for 120 hours
>gained an additional 40 hours to spend on becoming educated and well read
>instead spend it on masturbating and video games

Ayy lmao

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What are you eating?

Srsly tho I'm cutting and I'm only pooping once every 4-5 days. Is this bad?

Yes. Probably something wrong with your diet, son

I'm in college and live in a dorm. I don't exactly have the most options, so I usually get as much turkey cold cuts (they have it every day) and whatever other meat they serve that day. The majority of food I eat is pretty bad so I take a multi just to make sure I'm getting the stuff I don't get from shitty dorm food.

Are you tracking your macros?

>fell for the multivitamin meme
these cause constipation nd dont actually have any vitamins in them (do you really think you can get vitamins from a dense white pill?!)get more fiber dude

>student
>not living off beans and wholegrain oats and rice
>not buying cheap meat

ayy lmao

fuark i do this as well (at home, not in public restrooms obviously)

but also, how tf do you stain the seat? don't wear shoes u moron

>one wiper or no wiper every time

Nigga, you nasty as shit

As best as I can, yes

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I eat oats for a good portion of my carbs as well, so my fiber intake shouldn't be too bad.

...

Are you dumb? When you eat proper food there is nothing to wipe.

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aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Yoooooooo
But seriously what has she been eating? She must have planned it for the video

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had to be the perspective... right??

You've never seen Jap extreme scat before?
Of course it's planned

How long do I have to hold it in to get a shit babby like this?

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>these cause constipation nd dont actually have any vitamins in them (do you really think you can get vitamins from a dense white pill?!)get more fiber dude

You can't be serious. I really can't tell if you're just baiting because this feels very convincingly like the kind of retardation I know exists.

Yes and my question was what she's been eating to have shits like that not whether it was planned or not

PF Changs

>minute two of /nobreath/
I always fail after that, how do i progress?

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if they have vegetables you might want to try eating those every day. If you only eat meat your butt will get messed up. Veggies are like brooms that sweep the shit out of your body, that is why broccoli looks like that.

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I poop every morning at 11am and every night at 9pm

A lot of poop because im bulking, good poop because oats though

Have hemorrhoids from weighted pull ups though

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>Veggies are like brooms that sweep the shit out of your body, that is why broccoli looks like that.

Thank you for the laugh!

>one wiper or no wiper every time

I understand a one wiper, but a no wiper? You should probably wipe your ass at least once after you shit, bro

>hour 2 of /nobreathe/

Does this really work, Veeky Forums? I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up.

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>day 90 of /nobreath/

I'm fucking dead and I was a retard, but now I can lift in heaven and shit post on Veeky Forums.

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AWAKEN MY AYYLMAOS!

not gonna lie, holding in my poop has drastically reduced my appetite for god-tier cutting

This was not in the anime...

Jesus Christ, the memes on here get worse and worse.

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>Went on a 2 week backpacking trip in the Rockies with buddies once
>Everything going great for the most part
>Something about the dehydrated food we brought with us was fucking with my digestive system though
>Shits decreasing in size and quantity until day 5
>From day 5 to day 12 go through the constipation from hell
>No matter how much fiber I down or water I drink, nothing has any effect on the rapidly growing log within my colon
>Starting to cause problems with my hiking
>Gets downright painful on uphills at times
>By day 12 I'm reduced to an awkward bow-legged shuffle and in constant pain
>Stop at a high country camp with an awesome trout stream
>Rest of guys fly-fishing while I lie in my tent in the fetal position with my arms wrapped around my torso
>Buddy comes up with a bag in one hand
>"Hey bro, a guy just offered us some dried apricots. Might help"
>Eat entire bag of dried apricots
>Not fifteen minutes later can feel seismic rumblings within my colon
>Grab toilet paper and squat-walk into the trees
>Drop shorts and plop bare ass over a fallen log
>Feels like a log of equal size is descending through my anus
>Dimly recall yelling something along the lines of "Haaargh!"
>The haze clears
>Look back to see what my ass has wrought
>I shit you not, a turd the thickness and length of my forearm is buried nose-first in the pine needles
>Built-up diarrhea that had had no chance to get formed into solid shit had followed, spray zone goes back a good 8 feet from the log
>Wipe with what felt like a quarter-roll of TP
>No chance in hell of burying this, leave it for the bears to gaze on in wonder
>Stagger back to camp, sleep three hours, finish rest of trip without incident

ayy lmao

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