Gym employees forgot to charge the squat rack

>planet fitness

Good post. Keep it up.

>get caught in the trap bar
>have to wait until morning for the gym staff to let me out

>Incline bench
>Do it anyway

>Shrugs
>who cares

>Gym janitor turned off the smith machine biceps machine
>Have to improvise
>Have to walk around bench presses, "spotting" random people to get my biceps gains

>Someone left the leg extension machine turned up full volume

>I'm 7'10" now

FUCK

>how one manlet grew to 6'6!! Doctors hate him.

>Personal trainer at local gym
>Keep directing clients to the smith machine because D E V I L I S H
>They complain that it's hard to move the bar up and down
>Tell them that they have to push pajeets into the smith kiln for their speed and power to improve
>2 weeks later and there's literally no pajeets left in the gym
>Gym management is pissed about the recreational genocide and smell of burning shit all the time

anyways, anyone got a good prison workout plan?

>Rock up at 1AM to do an empty gym sesh at my 24/7 gym
>Can't swipe myself in
>Realise I forgot to top up my GymTip™ swipe card from the last workout
>Use my phone to transfer some funds to the card
>Takes 1-3 business days to process
Workout fucking ruined.
Why am I even tipping the receptionist if they aren't even manning the desks at night?

>only 2 tokens left for the cables
>can only afford 6 inches

>the smith machine is broken and dispenses double tickets
I hate looking like a faggot but I want that inflatable shark

>begin hexsqauts
>tea ceremony has not commenced

Kek

>sips machine is empty

worst feel

>previous person forgot to reset the treadmill
>it's now 5km away

I haven't been on Veeky Forums for a while guys but this thread made me laugh so fucking hard.

Thanks guys I needed that. Goodnight

>left the kettlebell on the stove too long
>now the water is too hot for my preworkout Green Tea

...

>locker room twink got replaced with a female model

KEKKKKK

>all the tsunami bars are taken
>have to use the smith machine

>all the smith machines are taken
>have to do bodyweight

>weigh nothing
>constantly exhausted from doing body weight exercises

>forgets to charge equipment
>doesnt forget to charge me
NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOR FAIR

>wake up this morning
>forgot to charge my basketball shorts over night
I guess it's rest day

>Go to the gym to pump some iron
>all the weights are already inflated
fitness is a meme

>put my 5c in the plate vender to get my first plate of the day
>nothing comes out and it asks me to put in another 5c
>begrudgingly do so
>find out later this happens all the time
>it turns out that they wanted to charge 7 cents for a plate but there's no 7 cent coin so there's a chance that someone has to pay 10c for a plate

>tfw gym buddy ripped my squat plug out mid rep

...

>Walk up to the ornate double doors
>The Scooby imprint in the middle asks me the riddle of the day
>Nervous as fuck, didn't study my riddle book yesterday
>"What came first, the chicken or the egg"
>Fuck
>"Th-the chicken"
>Scooby frowns
>Pit fall activates and I'm dropped into a hole full of broken gym equipment
>Piece together broken barbells and dumbbells to make a ladder
>Change gyms

what the h*ck are you talking about

(You)

I laughed as one who does not laugh at Veeky Forums

>used the ONE TRICK to get 6 pack abs
>everyone in the gym hates me

I-I just wanted to look good for summer

>it is fucking raining again
>no workout today

>Someone left an OHP bar in the squat rack

>gym introduced a no-singles policy yesterday
>have to find a gf or they won't let me in

>want to do skull crushers
>skulls vending machine is broken
today is a rest day I guess

>Doing barbell front raises
>the barbell meter runs out

>doing farmer's walk
>treadmill suddenly stops mid-rep

I'm out of tokens and I'm stuck there, pls help

>decide i need some fast gains
>start hittin dat tren
>in a short while everybody notices my fast progress - they mirin
>post workout is over, feeling great, about to leave
>gym priest notices me and waves at me
>get a bit nervous, hope its just a small reminder of the post squat seremon.
>"my son its been a while since you visited me in the confession rack- you got quite big in the last month. seems almost unnatural.."
>start visibly shaking , some syringes and a zyzz photo falls out my pocket
>father notices it , the look of horror and disgust on his face
>forbidden use of all gym equipment except the preacher curl stand for a month
>must feed on bread and water for a month
>daily visits at the confession rack.

>huzzah time for deadlifts!
>the fucking lazy cunt at the front desk forgot to dig up the barbell from outside
>why even fucking bother coming

>going to do bicep isolation
>gym concierge hasn't completely boiled the dumbells
>drop dumbells from preacher curl stand
>dumbells crack and dumyolk oozes all over the floor

Faggots who mass reply like you should be instabanned

>Manlet pit day

>barbell is calibrated for front squats
>on a fucking tuesday

>go to smith's machine
>he increased the tax by 30%

happened to me too, needed to roll for dubs for whole 15 minutes

>spent all my gym tokens on pl8s for my bench workout
>forgot to set aside tokens for a spotter
>figure I'll risk it and bench anyway
>last rep
>struggling
>failure
>bar is trapped on my chest
>pinned beneath bar and bench
>no tokens to pay for spotter to help me out
>left my wallet in the car
>still trapped

I've been under the bar for 3 days now. Send help pls

>spent most of my tokens on plates
>go to the bars vender with the last few tokens
>ate one Snickers on 12 plates
>I'm bulking

>gym renovation
>looks like a cave
>everyone seems shorter and louder
>shortest dudes making the loudest grunts
>lights are very dim, smell is awful
>empty water bottles on the floor
>one huge dude in the back surrounded by girlblins
>see a horror out the corner of my eye
>dead bodies from leg day unable to make it home
>this is no gym
>its a tomb

>walk into my gym
>start warming up for squats
>notice something is off
>somebody forgot to charge the mirrors

I guess it's not THAT big of a deal, but I still like to mire myself every now and again.

>your 1rm

>walk into gym
>tip the receptionist (as per)
>walk into changing rooms
>flex a 'cep at the changing room gains monitor
>he nods
>into the free weights section
>pockets full of tokens for the racks, coins for the plates
>see a manlet trapped in the squat rack
>guess he didn't charge it first
>I kek
>look over at the kettlebells
>they're still boiling
>guess ill do abs
>see the ab mats are over in the GOLD STANDARD VIP SECTION
>my membership is only SILVER
>run out the gym past the gym priest crying

someone should cap this thread

>show up to work out, arm day
>start off with easy dumbbell curls
>the entire fucking rack is empty
>somebody got the dumbells a library card

lel

>gym guards wouldn't lower the drawbridge
>tried to swim the moat and scale the walls but got thrown off
>now I'm forced to harvest the oat fields from dawn till dusk for my gym liege

At least I didn't get sent to the protein mines I guess.

>not being a bar baron AT LEAST
Never gonna make it.

>notice someone left some gains behind at the squat rack
>pocket them for myself

>gym jukebox is stuck on eye of the tiger
>want to hear JB but need at least lmao4pl8 to switch song
>can only diddly 3.5
It's the eye of the tiiiiger

>planned to do bounce day
>come in to gym
>gym bouncy castle isnt inflated

>kill shiny gain goblin
>drops +2 platinum plates
>gains galore

why did you post that

>Stop working a third shift job
>Start going to the gym during prime time
>Now that the weather is better there's outside training
>Miss the sun so I figure I'll go ahead and try it
>Cash in my plate tokens for trainer points
>Sign up for the team training
>First day is Sisyphus Rolls
>Have to roll a 700 lb man up a mountain trail
>Can't quit until he's up
>Binding contract

I fucked up.

think of the calves tho

you've reminded me of something
youtube.com/watch?v=n0wqhdZn4v0

this

>Rock up at the gym
>Seems quiet, shit. That's bad.
>Consider coming back some other time
>Decide fuck it, I'll risk it, hopefully someone nice is manning the reception
>Receptionist dials me up for the off-peak surcharge
>Guess who lost their tip.jpg
>Start doing my workout, gym manager comes out and asks about me not tipping
>We get into a heated discussion about me not tipping, and I'm saying I don't tip rude receptionists, and how he put hair in my water bottle
>mfw gym manager believes me and fires receptionist

>not being elected the new Plate Pontiff

>gym buys new kettlebells
>they aren't even induction safe

bloody hell user

>cloudy outside
>solar power curls out

kek

>rush hour at the gym
>look around to see what's free
>some cunt doing military press on the fucking incline bench
>sit down next to him
>imaginary press 3x8
>not great but it's better than nothing
>cable cross is free
>just as I'm about to clip on the weighted bible the gym priest walks up to me and reminds me that they have switched prayer days to Tuesdays
>sighs to myself as I begin squatting the cable cross instead
>sometimes you just gotta work with what you've got

>go to activate almonds
>someone unplugged it overnight
>3%

>at the squats table
>dyel raises 45lb
>I had a royal flush
>cashed in all the gains tokens on my way out
>my thighs are now sequoias

>gym introduced a no-singles policy yesterday
>fail on 2nd rep
>get escorted out of gym

I love these threads.

>Go to grab a squat plug
>All the extra large ones are gone

>Go to the gym to work over my traps
>All three of us kicked out for public indecency
>Fucking Planet Fitness

>Ignore the new sign telling me to leave my ego at the door
>Spend workout in a state of transcendental oneness with creation
>Finally understand that it is not me who lifts the iron, but the universe which lifts itself
>When I leave the gym whole the world has been uplifted
>The third world war is removed from history, pornography becomes legal, and the end of days is no longer upon us
>A couple more workouts like that and I could create Heaven on Earth.
>Find out I made no gains for myself because without my ego I didn't truly exist to want them
>Change gyms
Fucking Buddhist gain goblins

I don't get it. What are you guys talking about? What kind of gyms are you going to where the equipment has to be "charged"? Pretty sure I just lift iron up & down.Am I missing something?

is this metabait?

we're just having a laugh

>go into gym
>it's packed with March resolutioners

Jesus christ dude, whats it like living life never getting jokes?