Need semi quick ways to lose weight without exercise(short 5-6 min at max) doesnt matter if it's dangerous or bad for...

Need semi quick ways to lose weight without exercise(short 5-6 min at max) doesnt matter if it's dangerous or bad for you just share whatever knowledge you got

Amputate your legs, you'll lose a shit load of weight in an instant.

Throw up after meals

suicide

>desiccation
>immolation
>amputation
>defenestration

lots of 5 min back alley blow jobs (free bonus protein) then liposuction with the cash

Gained a chromosome from the edginess of your post
Considered it
kkkbb
More chromosomes gained
I'll try that

Lay with legs across railway track.

Bingo! half bodyweight achieved.
Bonus weight loss as you bleed out.

Wow this board is even more auitistic than the rest of Veeky Forums I'll stick to /b/
Niggers there were more helpful than the 13 year old edgelords here

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Ohh i'm sowwy little bawby, here is what you were looking for:

You are perfect and beautiful just the way you are!

There is no need for you to change yourself in any way, more so losing weight!

Follow your dreams, seize the day! Believe in yourself how I believe in you!

Also, if there is one thing, tell your food that you love it and in return it will get antifat properties you are looking for. Lots of love!

2 grams of DNP

OP, drink tons of water and eat plain bagels with nothing on them. Five weeks in and I lost 70lbs back in 2002. Make sure to take vitamins. It fucking sucked but it worked.

Let's see. Liquid calories don't count (it's fluid!), so you don't have to restrict those.
Eat some celery or something. It takes more energy to digest than it gives - so you'll lose weight.
Wrapping saran wrap on your stomach will lean it up. Also, sauna if you want to make the body lose weight real quick. Or cardio in multiple layers.

STOP SHARING OUR SECRETS WITH NORMIES!!!!!

shake your head left then right rapidly every time someone offers food

He's got a right to know. Those tips really helped.

One that gets less spoken about is drinking raw eggs. Just whisk them with a good amount of sugar (they taste strange without) and drink. The trick is in getting the eggs in raw - like vegetables, you'll spend more calories digesting them than they give out. So - loss of weight. It boosts your metabolism.

Green tea also boosts your metabolism. Just add a good amount of sugar, otherwise it tastes plain and disgusting.

>wants to be spoon-fed even though the information is in the sticky
>gets butt-blasted when people won't help
Never gonna make it

Please stop mocking him. He's new and needs our help turning his life around. We can really help him - by giving out the names of best carb blocker products, info about negative calories in some fruits and vegetables, etc. Also wraps.

I bet you got told that you lose weight by dieting and excercising. That's a lie. Everyone who tells you that is a liar who tries to hide shortcuts (supplements, fat burners, wraps, tricks) behind hard work.

Your best bet is to go to a GNC or a supplement shop and buy some good fat burners and carb blockers. Everyone uses them, no-one admits though - to keep up the myth of hard work and dedication.

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No.
You can both get fucked.
OP is a faggot and always will be.

Why the fuck all those shitposters ITT?
Anyway OP, the proper answer is to get on the keto diet, which means you may only eat fats and proteins, drink water, and eat leafy vegetables (spinach 'n shit)
You could also try not eating at all, but mentally it's really hard.
As for exercise, if you could jog everyday (even if it's just 10mins) that would help.
Go to bed on an empty stomach.and sleep for as long as you can.

That sounds stupid. He could eat all he wants if he gets a good carb blocker, also some fat burners.

He OP, you wanna know my one weird trick? It's super easy, I lost 20 pounds in one day!

Here it is:

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800mg of DNP with every meal, 5 small meals a day, 1.5k calories a day. People have lost up to 60lbs of fat in 3-4 months