Why is the worldbuilding for this so incredibly cringy?

Why is the worldbuilding for this so incredibly cringy?

What is "this"?

EVERY WWI althistory is a cringefest

KaiserReich:Legacy Of The Weltkreig its a mod for Hearts of Iron 2:Darkest Hour and Hearts of Iron 4

>why is alternative history dreamed up by autistics so increadibly cringy?

Ah I didn't recognize it.
The reason it is so cringy is they basically jack off to how 'great' imperial Germany was, and write a story that makes anyone that could be a threat to them super weak, or focused on fighting other people.
I think the worst part imo is the Second American civil war. Between everyone splitting off from the federal government for 'reasons' and shit like Canada ceasing New England, and Mexico ceasing the American Southwest, it just has no grounding in any sensible version of reality.

Why does the Brit look like a soyboy, and is wearing facepaint like a girl?

Because in the story of KR, the Brits become communist for 'reasons' and the Royalists are exiled to Canada.

>America implodes because of shit happening in Europe
Please tell me Germany somehow still won even after America joined the war.

The Darkest Hour version was only relatively cringy... Lots of it isn't. Much of Canada, Britain, Germany are all relatively fun and sensible.
It's just a few EBIN MAYMAYS like America and Austria that make it silly.
Also it plays really boring because you have one war in 1939 and then that's usually it. The only places with actual evolution are the Balkans.

It's like they knew the bare minimum, that there were concerns about expanding communist sympathies after the war, without realising why. Namely because they won but the ordinary soldiers still got treated like absolute shit when they got home.

My guess is it was more along the lines of, Brits are too strong how can we weaken them.
Oh I know give them only the isles, and make their only ally France! Oh and let's give Canada a reason to invade them well we are at it too!

Here is a map of Europe, with the Pope leading Nothern Italy because why the fuck not?

>with the Pope leading Nothern Italy because why the fuck not?
that got changed recently

And dont forget meme countries like the new Mongol empire, Ghandi leading communist India, westernize Ethiopia and virtually everything east of Ukraine.

Still even in a meme alt history scenario South America is boring

Yeah but it is easier to conquest the Americas with the US being absolutely retarded and blowing itself up, also no Monroe doctrine.

Holy shit have you played the mod? The commune of france and union of britain are incredibly strong, and in most events and flavours are written as the good guys.

The game also makes reference to the fact Germany isn’t democratic, has ‘volkerschau’, banned trade unions and are ethnically colonizing eastern europe. They’re written as the bad guys.

Stop being a whiney fucking autist.

1926 strike. IRL it almost toppled the country.

>ghandi

>And dont forget meme countries like the new Mongol empire

>who is unger von sternberg

>that ugly italian peninsula

Always tought that kaiserreich would have been way more realistic if Italy fought alongside the central powers and the war ended before late 1917.

A total German victory in fucking 1920 is hillariusly absurd.

Still they had some nice ideas, like the rise of Egypt or the Danubian federation

>Always tought that kaiserreich would have been way more realistic if Italy fought alongside the central powers and the war ended before late 1917
by the time the POD happens Italy already joined the Entente

I have played the mod and I have seen AI Germany+AI Royalist France and Britain beat the Commies to death with ease.
Sure they are strong but the Germans have a shitload of puppet forces.

>Implying Von batshit and his thugs wouldnt still get wipe out by whoever would have won the civil war or even some random Chinese warlord with way more soldiers

>1920
France implodes in early 1919 (not really improbable since the US doesn't get involved and Germany gets food from the east). 1919-21 is basically like the phony war in 1939 with both the UK and Germany doing fuckall.

>Ghandi

Dont get me wrong, i like Kaiserreich very much, but they clearly choose a fun but irrealistic scenario insteas of a boring realistic one

Both British revolution and a German victory this late were not realistically

The French one was pretty realistic in case of defeat instead and they develop it well

My bad

>but they clearly choose a fun but irrealistic scenario insteas of a boring realistic one
THIS

Germany didn't win against Britain, it was a stalemate called 'Peace with Honour', where even the UK could keep their colonies and everything. Its only when the communist strike came along and fucked the country up, then the Germans (and the nationalist french) annexed a bunch of colonies.

I bet only 3 anons here actually played the mod (or at least read the lore, like how all history is written).

>I bet only 3 anons here actually played the mod (or at least read the lore, like how all history is written).
yeah, for example people saying "communism" instead of "syndicalism", but you got the point anyways

I don't know about the world building but the artwork is fucking awful

>Dude let's put loads of random pouches and straps on everything lmao

t. best artist in the world ever

>you need to be the best artist in the world to complain about the modern obsession with giving every character 300 straps and belts and buckles and zippers and belts and buckles and zippers and zippers and zippers and zippers and belts and straps

And yet the internationale wins 60% of the time.

And how is Germany winning that bad?

DANCE WITH THE NANCE
A
N
C
E

W
I
T
H

T
H
E

N
A
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C
E

rev up those fryers cause i smell some filthy syndies and traitors

Tfw when you willfully elect Cactus Jack with the full intention of drawing out the traitors

This. WW1 althistory is almost always lame because it's usually just the same shit because no matter what WW1 was a stupid eurofaggot affair that could only result in eurofaggots ripping each other to pieces then crying when America comes to clean up the mess.

I've noticed this kind of corny aesthetic commonly used in mobile games and an entire generation is being raised on it.

>this is what americans believe

I mean its not a total German Victory. Its German v British Stalemate (similar to how WWII reached except neither side has the airforce to break the deadlock) which results in Britain agreeing to leave Germany alone in exchange for the same. Then the General Strike of 1926 happens, but is far worse, and leads to revolution.

>The commune of france and union of britain are incredibly strong
Literally no resources, Germany has a shitload of puppets and colonies they can get obscene amounts of resources from with the way the trade system works in HoI4

I will admit thats mostly because the AI makes weird decisions. If Syndie France doesn't get a specific focus before war, it looses hard (Revanchist Propaganda). If it does, it not only puts up a fight against germany, most of the time it wins the grind through Western Germany, unless Austria/Russia join in to help Germany. Britain has a far more powerful fleet than any other power, and unlike the base game, its concentrated around the Home Isles. Germany looses all rubber and oil fairly quickly (Romania getting glommed by Austria/Russia/Bulgaria, blockaded ports)

At least Kaiserreich is playable in the post war, fuck HoI4 is a mess in that regard

what is cringy about grandmap.jpg

a war fought with zeppelins and automatons between darwinist and machinist dystopias seems pretty neato tbqh, as long as you don't obsess over it

Sweden and Norway look like benis

>everything above this post

jesus ray christ, the absolute state of Veeky Forums.

what’s next, an edwardian steampunk fap thread?

>enjoy playing as Germany, slapping my big fleet dick into Japan's and Canada's face
>also enjoy playing as Japan and fucking up Germany's east Asian colonies
>every single thing relating to the communists is pure cringe
Mayb one day it'll get better

Quality post

But turning the USA into extreme trade unionists is fun user

This.
Haven't found a single good timeline.

The main developers are a bunch of cringy commies themselves. KR for DH was still fun tho. No idea about HoI4.

KH for HoI4 is a massive improvement on a shit game tbqh, base HoI4 is almost unplayable

Sadly, it's still pretty shit

Reminder to respect your local Greeks and praise the patriarch not the pope ok

Even Black Ice for HoI4 is pretty shit though, you can't fix what's fundamentally broken in HoI4

its not except for some minor things

Exactly

The offensive AI is fucking dreadul

I bet this OP has triggered so many soyboys

brb checking thread

>no butthurt KRedditors

disappointed desu

[spoiler]I like KR just hate that it's gotten popular[/spoiler]

You can't spoiler on Veeky Forums you silly goose

fuck you too nigger

It's true

t. writing a WWI althistory right now

Don't forget the huge elbow pads

Tried downloading this kaiserreich shit for DH. Fucking winzip trial extraction got stuck on some arabian guy's name

>winzip
How do you even have DH in 2003?

what?
Oh, it's a mod.
It's a mod.

Real answer:
They're trying to make the fucking game more interesting than "ten billionth WWII sim". This includes "more to do" for regions that are often left by the wayside. This gives rise to improbable alt history scenarios in service to giving a nation something to do other than sit and wait for twenty five years.

That's why there are so many three way civil wars. It's not even because "muh wankfest" (but yes), but rather to give the player something to coordinate their way through. So that's why it's cringy, because it's not in service to a sleek and coherent alt-history but in service to make a game we've all played ten bajillion times with the same balances and geographic locales a little less grindingly dull and predictable.

Pretty much this. The only enjoyable one I've ever heard is the nuclear WW1 and its fallout

Fuck off you autist, it's fun as fuck
A "realistic alternate history" is an oxymoron.

>is they basically jack off to how 'great' imperial Germany was

nigga after a few months in game the german economy collapses and their empire begins to cave in on itself and later on they can be defeated by france and britan without there empires

>written as the good guys

thats the entente desu
both France and Britain can become totaltarian hellholes if the ai makes the right choices

germany gets involved in the russian civil war and while they do win it for the whites they have to live live with the brest litovsk treaty and also became a democracy making them in no way capable or reconquering all the run away states that spawned during the civil war

also a the only chinese warlord who could attack them is the ma clique which isnt particularly powerful

whats your POD?

And it never makes any difference in all the games I have played AI France has never once won against AI Germany, I have seen vanilla Republic of Spain win their civil war more times.

EVERY

MAN

A

KHAN

When I played the mod France usually got wrecked tho.
But if it managed to advance in germany then you should prepare for a full syndicalist Europe.
I guess the most cringy part of the Kaiserreich it's it concept itself, they should have just made a mod that used this whole event stuff that makes every game unique since WW1 instead of making a full lore for WW2.
The way they did France and Britain are syndies by default, the USA and Spain usually goes syndicalist as well and Brazil and Bolivia were literally made to go syndicalist and fight the reactionary La Plata.
The mod itself is good to pass time I guess.

The fall of the WRE

>Totalitarian Hellholes

[this statement has been redacted for the sake of the TUC]

If you played the mod, you would know that the KR timeline diverts from the IRL timeline when Wilhelm decides not to reinstate unrestricted submarine warfare, therefore the US doesn't enter the war.

thats a lot of shit to change in between the fall of the wre to the great war, user

Don't know about HoI but the dev team for the DH version of KR it was split 50/50 between actual monarchistas and bona fide commies

Not that I really care ince their autistic ideological conflict made it for a great mod

*monarchists
*since

What the fuck is wrong with me today

Go hard or go home is my motto

>thats the entente desu

The Entente's leaders are all fascist sympathisers.

Meanwhile, The Internationale's leaders is mainly socialists and SocDems.

Like Mosley or Mussolini?

Because the artist is a retard

The mod is thinly veiled commie/syndicalist (whatever the fuck you want to call your snowflake brand of socialism) masquerading as Kaiserwank shit, the communist countries are all written to be good guys while the Entente is just pathetic, leaving Germany and the authoritarians to either be complete evil or in a grey area. Also why do the uniforms in all the official artwork look so bulky, unpractical and flashy, even for the communists?

Final Fantasy and Star Wars have greatly influenced modern fantasy fashion.

Last week I saw someone spoiler on Veeky Forums but idk how they did it.

this and blackice are the only acceptable ways to play hoi4.
how do i switch from 4 to 3 btw

You dont, play DH instead.
While HoI4 is causalized as fuck and more reminiscent of civ than a paradox game, HoI3 is bloated with useless features and bugs. It admittedly has a better map, but all the autistic changes which were made in combat alone are not really worth it. If you come from 4, 3 will inevitably kick your teeth in.

>Also why do the uniforms in all the official artwork look so bulky, unpractical and flashy, even for the communists?

Drawn by tumblrinas with no sense of scale or practicality.

>Also why do the uniforms in all the official artwork look so bulky, unpractical and flashy, even for the communists?
After the 4X game HoI4 was released, the dev team was swarmed by redditors, who brought in the real cringe, along with those illustrations.

Meh, the International loses 4-out-of-5 times in 1.8. Who wins is actually dependant on the military doctrine Germany and France choose by event in 1938 and pretty much nothing more.

>acceptable ways to play hoi4
No such thing.

>when America comes to clean up the mess.
why are you on this board

Can you share more details about it

>soyboy