Hey guys. I'm new here, moving in from /b/. I'm ready to make some lifestyle changes and improve my overall being...

Nigger the sticky IS short and simple. Look man, just go online, calculate your BMR(basal metabolic rate) and eat LESS than that every day. EZ PZ

Fuck off back to /b/

because getting in shape is hard fucking work, if someone can't even read a sticky that takes 10min, why should anyone waste their time on them?

get a real bike and hit the gym

1. EAT LESS FOOD
2. NO SUGAR, NO FLOUR, NO GRAINS
3. AT YOUR MASSIVE SIZE YOU'RE BETTER OFF JUST DIETING BECAUSE YOU LEGITIMATELY RISK HURTING YOURSELF
4. MAYBE GO ON WALKS/SWIMMING
5. AIM FOR 1800 CALORIES A DAY
6. DRINK LOTS OF WATER/COFFEE/TEA

Is that simple enough for you?

why is it that /b/tards never read the sticky

No, I mean 350. I'm a beast under all the fat. I was born fat and stayed that way, even when I lifted daily in high school. The lowest weight I could get to was 280.

I would do a video of push ups, but I can't post on here. I have the money for healthy food and gym membership, but the gym is too far away. When I say 30 minutes, I mean by car.

>no sugar, flour, grains
KEK

Decent shape.
Fat? No you're morbidly obese.
Pick one. Not both.

Because I was the same. A obese shit in "good shape", only I was on the cusp of death. I started paleo then moved on to keto because it got my binges under control.

All I eat now is meat, fruit and vegetables. I gave up soda 8 months ago. All I drink now is water and black coffee. I do walk daily, but not as much as I should. I am doing those things. Even at my massive size, my body can handle moderate exercise. I know how to exercise. I guess what I really need help with is making myself do it.

At the very least selfie your belly on the cell phone, I want a timestamp too.

I want proof that you weigh as much as you do.

For crying out loud this is Artie Lange at 303 Pounds, and that guy's only an inch shorter than you.

please explain why that's bad advice.

Yes, I am morbidly obese. And I have smoked like a chimney since I was 12. However, compared to others in my condition, my body's holding up fairly well. Blood pressure's fine, not diabetic. Doctors say I'm generally healthy, just fat as fuck. Smoking's starting to take a toll on lung function though, mild asthma.

You're not going to find that anywhere but from yourself

You either want it or you don't

Good luck

>1. EAT LESS FOOD
>2. NO SUGAR, NO FLOUR, NO GRAINS
>3. AT YOUR MASSIVE SIZE YOU'RE BETTER OFF JUST DIETING BECAUSE YOU LEGITIMATELY RISK HURTING YOURSELF

op you should do these, but

>5. AIM FOR 1800 CALORIES A DAY

don't do this. do alternate day fasting instead.

day 1: eat nothing, drink water and black tea/coffee
day 2: eat slightly more than your TDEE

repeat and watch the weight drop off.

shitbag

>morbidly obese
>generally healthy
if you cant admit that you are not healthy, go back to /b/, you wont make it

...

holy fuck fatass

man threee inches make a real difference

Terrible advice in this thread, just follow the sticky op

>alternate day fasting

Fuck that. That's a terrible way to try and lose weight. Assuming you even stick with that you're just going to put it all back on when you go back to eating every day like a normal person, assuming it even works and you don't just shove twice as much food in to he says you can eat.

>generally healthy

My. Fucking. Sides.

Those are some sad looking man titties.

Besides being fat as fuck, please tell me what health problems I've got. I've been checked for everything. I'm not saying I'm healthy. I'm obviously not. I'm just saying, I'm not on the brink of death... yet. That's what I'm trying to avoid. That's why I'm here.

whatever you say delusional fat fuck

I know, they're quite saggy. When I was 14-16 I was over 400lbs. I got into drugs pretty hard and started lifting daily and got down to 280 by the time I was 18 and everything got saggy. After I stopped lifting a doing drugs I got back up to 350 and I've been there for a while now.

Please elaborate. What did the doctors miss?

>When I was 14-16 I was over 400lbs
good luck with your skin you disgusting fuck
have you read the fucking sticky yet?

Not him, but it's pretty solid advice. The reason people say to cut out sugar and grains is because that's primarily the diet of most people who are obese. If you can eat on a deficit and still throw sugar and grains in there, power to you. But a lot of people can't. I agree with you, friendo

Don't sweat them, OP. They like to use negativity as a motivator. They will continue to do so until you drop the weight. How's your BP and resting HR looking?

Yes I read the fucking sticky. I read the sticky before I made the thread. I read the sticky on every board that has one before I do anything else.

do you fucking count your fucking calories then you fat piece of shit?

BP's normally fine. Gets elevated when I'm pissed sometimes. Resting HR is a little on the high side sometimes. Anywhere from 60-85.

Anyway, to get back on point, you need to set a specific goal. Are you looking to lose weight, or get "in shape" to have more energy/run longer/lift more?

I SO HEAVILY DISAGREE WITH THE CONCEPT OF FASTING DAYS. Keep that shit with religion when it comes to dieting that will just mess you up psychologically.

The best diet is the one you can stick with. When you fast you're creating physical discomfort and once you break the fast you naturally have the urge to overeat, so ultimately you're just negating any positive to your fast.

And at the end of the day it leads you to mentally believe that losing weight is a painful experience. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PAINFUL JUST STOP EATING THE FUCKING CARBS.

If OP just eats 2000 Calories a Day everyday (I say aim for 1800 because it's easy to underestimate calories) he'll lose weight rapidly. Here's an example of the diet I'd recommend.

>Breakfast
Cheese Omelette, Peppers, Tomatoes, Onions

>Lunch
Chicken, use Cajun Seasoning, Broccoli, Celery

>Dinner
Bunless Hamburger, essentially Beef, Cheese, Tomato, Onion, Garlic. Side can be Cauliflower.

Keto + Calorie Counting is great for fatties. It's the best way to keep your stomach full and yet still have a calorie deficit. You want excitement add hot peppers to the mix.

Not yet. My plan is to first change my fucking eating habits and learn to enjoy healthy food (what I'm currently doing). Then learn how to count the fucking calories

OP here, what's your opinion on adding a ketone supplement to jumpstart ketosis and give me more energy?

>learn to enjoy healthy food
do you like roast beef? and rice?

why is everything i type considered as spam?

I think if you type vegan

and

gains next to each other it counts as spam.

How bout you just ignore that poster and count calories IIFYM. All you have to do is lose weight, not land on the moon. Just stop being fat

>I SO HEAVILY DISAGREE WITH THE CONCEPT OF FASTING DAYS. Keep that shit with religion when it comes to dieting that will just mess you up psychologically.
>The best diet is the one you can stick with. When you fast you're creating physical discomfort and once you break the fast you naturally have the urge to overeat, so ultimately you're just negating any positive to your fast.
>And at the end of the day it leads you to mentally believe that losing weight is a painful experience. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PAINFUL JUST STOP EATING THE FUCKING CARBS.

this is all nonsense. it's more sustainable than continuous calorie restriction, and there have been studies that people don't significantly overeat (i.e. to a degree that renders the fasting day useless) on feed days.

You're working backwards, my man. If you do that, you're going to increase the palatibility of food, but you're still going to be drawn to the bad shit because it tastes better every fucking time.

If you start counting calories and then move on to healthier food, you'll look at junk food as "that's more than my damn breakfast, and half of my lunch!", which will prompt you to find healthier alternatives.

My ultimate goal is to get in shape; leaner, faster, stronger, and energized. Weightloss is of coarse going to be part of that. I'm bad at setting/acheiving goals though. So my first goal would ideally be easy to achieve, while still having to put a little effort into it.

First and foremost, I want to have more energy and not feel like shit all the time.

Try going whole food vegan. Yes a lot of vegans are annoying morons and I overall dislike them, however whole food vegan diet is objectively the healthiest and best diet a human can eat.
Former fatty myself who had a lot of trouble loosing weight but whole food vegan diet allowed me to loose weight even though I never was hungry. I highly doubt you're very interested since it took me a couple of getting convinced over youtubers like Mic. the vegan to change but ever since I changed it was the best thing I have ever done.

I highly recommend if you want to make a major change to your life you should at-least look into it since its really helpful.

Start of by watching some of "Mic. the Vegan" Youtube videos. Good luck with loosing that weight!

HOLY SHIT YOU WERE RIGHT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. CHRIST IS HE SUCH A MEME ON THIS SITE THAT ITS BANNED NOW? LMAO

I disagree. Unless you have no social interaction, there is an expectation to eat, and that's going to throw off your fast days. It's much easier to eat 100 calories for breakfast, 500 for lunch, and 1200 for dinner, no snacks, no liquid calories.

>CHRIST IS HE SUCH A MEME ON THIS SITE THAT ITS BANNED NOW
yeah, he's a huge faggot

I do enjoy roast beef. I'm aiming to avoid basically all grains, rice, and carbs in general.
I see your point there. How exactly do I get started counting calories? Should I invest in a scale and get super precise with it, or just kind of estimate?

eating normal person sized portions of food
not eating snacks
in your case swimming would be best exercise
impossible you wont lose weight doing these 3 simple steps

Yoga, that's the best thing. Next best thing is swimming. The best thing you can do for yourself is find a yoga studio, martial art or any other group fitness activity that will actually work you out. None of that "no sweat exercise" garbage.
Right now you are more than 10 times to die of a heart attack and develop obesity. The sheer stress on your joints aswell. Your could slip a disk any moment now, guaranteed you have a kyphotic spine. Every 5 pounds of fat is 15 pounds on your knees. Higher risk of developing cancer from being obese. Probably really deficient in vitamins like C, D and E.
Higher E2 levels will make you a bitch, you more than likely will have severe ED when your older. I mean aren't the feelings when you walk out in public enough? You probably smell fucking terrible and frequent Walmart before your video game nights like a pig.

I've considered this, but I just like meat too much. I am doing a whole food diet though, and shooting for 3 vegan meals a week.

You have to be grateful for the hunger Op, the pain means progress. You could have her in a year, man!
I have a girl just like this as my backroud, not just because I want her. It's because I want the life she comes with man. You should to. Start reading books, be the best version of yourself dude.

You have to count calories OP. Don't even log it or have a goal at first.
Seriously bro, just watch this shit.
youtu.be/8svuSIYQu74
He was 700 pounds, complete neet and weighs 180 now. It's such an awesome documentary done by bodybuilding.com

>Right now you are more than 10 times to die of a heart attack and develop obesity
>The sheer stress on your joints aswell.
>Your could slip a disk any moment now
>Every 5 pounds of fat is 15 pounds on your knees.
Jesus christ user, you are in no position to be posting advice, probably not even posting at all

It's winter dude, Not exactly swimming weather. I live in the middle of nowhere, there are no gyms within 20miles, no yoga/martial arts studios within 35 miles. I eat my fruits and veggies and take a multi vitamin. I shower daily and wear deodorant and ask people to make sure I dont stink. The only places with fatty stink are the deep crevices that stay sealed up. I don't play video games, never really have. I work full time. I only go to walmart to buy foods that the local grocery store doesn't carry, underwear, and cleaning products.

I've never tried it and I don't think it's necessary.

I'm not a dieting expert by any means I'm just a fellow traveller that can tell you what worked for me. I recommend a Keto inspired diet because I found it was the most reasonable one for my lifestyle. I bought the Ketoisis Test Strips that you pee on and some days I'd heavily be in Ketosis other times I wasn't, because stuff like Carrots are enough to take you out of Ketosis.

At the end of the day Calories are what matter the most, if you eat a whole Roasted Chicken and a ton of nuts (which I've done) you're not going to lose weight because you've eaten a ton of food (duh).

I say Keto is great purely because I think its the best way to eat a smaller amount of food while still feeling full. I can eat Bananas all day but I can only eat so many eggs before I feel content.

Just download MyFitnessPal and start counting, it'll say your target is something like 2300 if you stay under that you'll be doing very well. Buy a scale and when in doubt overestimate the caloric content of the food. Maybe Keto isn't for you I don't know but you need to start now or seriously consider Gastric Bypass, I hate to sound dramatic but at your weight I'd be shocked if you're not already Diabetic.

Hey maybe you're right but I think when you're dieting on your own you need to be able to feel comfortable while dieting. Fasting fucking sucks and puts you in a shitty mood. When you're in that shitty mood you do stupid things like saying "Fuck dieting I want some McDonalds!"

Fasting never kept me on a diet for long. But hey if it works for OP then he should do it. For me it was just needless exhausting. Sometimes I only eat a scant 1000 Calories and that works. No food at all is horrible.

Great if you considered it! 3 vegan meals a week is honestly a great start if you wanna become as healthy as possible. As long its actual vegan meals and not like having cereal with non diary milk as breakfast and call it a vegan meal.

Also when you're eating meat just keep reminding yourself that its a unhealthy food and you eat it for taste. This way overtime you will most likely start to like it less and less :)

Also EAT YOUR VEGGIES!! Even if you are one of those who almost pukes by having a broccoli in your mouth try eating at least 10-20 gram of veggies everyday just to make your taste buds adjust.

I will be watching this, bookmarking for later this evening. Thanks user.

Yeah you got me. 230, never do cardio. Only lift. Running DNP and an AI next week because fuck it, I'll weigh 190 in a month.

If you're looking for energy, exercise will do it. I'd suggest cardio of some sort. Find some series of tv or whatever and watch an episode or two while you work out. Won't help your weight problem, but you should feel better.

The important thing is to set something attainable and go from there. If you can go intense for a few minutes, do that interspaced with an easy rate, and gradually rebelance.

You'll also feel better if you start losing weight though. Plan your calories. I do 100 calories for breakfast, 500 for lunch, and 1200 for dinner, with a 100-700 calorie slippage in there if I order too much or need an afternoon snack. Make a habit of looking up the calories for everything you eat. Even if you're not sticking to a budget, being aware does huge amounts for knowing what you're eating, and builds you up from "eating packaged food is easy because the calories are right there on the package" to actually planning a dish because you start seeing how many calories are in sauces and buns and all that.

I'm not sure I'd suggest both losing weight and exercising at once though. Exercise will make you hungry, which makes cutting calories that much more difficult, although you should still be aware. Important thing is to develop a plan with attainable steps that you can build upon and tracking your progress.

It's nobodies fault your fat but you have to take responsibility for it. I know how it is, feeling too far gone. But it's easier when you have a life, friends and a GF for support. It's won't even take long. Think of the progress you'd make in 3 months of consistent dieting. You'd be lying to yourself if you said you couldn't follow a diet for 3 months.

Because the sticky answers all of those questions for you.

as for crockpot, buy a bag of frozen chicken, add a marinade turn it on and forget aobut it for 6 hours, literally the easiest thing in the world.

I do enjoy my veggies. I like all foods really. I've always eaten a lot of healthy food, with a lot of unhealthy food piled on top. Soda was the hardest to give up, but I haven't had any since the beginning of August last year. Last week I cut out almost all unhealthy foods, but I've slipped up a couple times. Had a Shamrock shake on St. Patty's day, and my client (I work with mentally retarded people) wanted to go out for chinese yesterday.

Question Mr. Vegan, are you just CONSTANTLY eating food all day or do you rely on the few Fatty Plant Based foods like Avocados for energy?

One whole pound of Brocoli is a mere 150 Calories. Ain't no body got time for that except Panda Bears.

>Panda bears are the only omnivores besides human to adopt vegetarian habits

>Are literally killing themselves out of sheer lazyness

you move vegfags.

how long did you try it for?

most people are surprised by how quickly it becomes easy.

The sticky is utter shit filled with retardation and 404'd links and there's a 99.9% chance that you like every idiot who says to read the sticky has actually only glanced at it.

I think about that all the time. Over the past year I've made a few feele attempts at changing my life. Thinking back on it, I'm like "fuck, if I would have just done it, I'd be half way to healthy by now". It both motivates me to make the change, and makes me depressed because I feel like I'll never actually do it.

I wouldn't worry about a scale for food, it's mostly about being aware of stuff like ranch dressing having 73 calories per tablespoon, so 4 tablespoons (2 scoops) of ranch from a salad bar is fucking 300 calories. You start tossing in croutons, sunflower seeds, bacon bits and all the other shit that makes salad taste good and you realize that "healthy" salad is 1000+ calories.

Really it's more about getting a general idea, googling anything you can't read the calories on, and then planning your meals around a budget. Like I do 500 calories for lunch, so that's either a sushi roll from the grocery store, a KFC go cup, or 3 Taco Bell tacos. (get used to ordering water. Feels weird at first but soon you'll realize what a scam it is that soda is pushed so fucking hard)

Run 3 times a week
you can follow a couch to 5k program you'll be losing weight like crazy.

>10 good form pushups
>350lb fat

I have doubts beyond comprehension.

>I'm a beast under all the fat
>can do "pushups"
>that pic
You can't make this shit up

>ordering water feels weird

Yeah, fuckin tell me about it.

How about if you just be my fitness pal?

If I could prove it to you, I would user. I have impressed everybody that ever saw me do it. I'm a beast, just a horrendously fat beast.

Fasting? Well at one point I tried the Juice Fasting Meme (thanks Cernovich youtube.com/watch?v=AcXC9o9mRdg) and the one positive I can say it made my skin look really good. After I shave off my final 20 pounds I definitely want to reintroduce Carrot Juice to my diet for that reason alone.

Long ago I did try a fasting day (plan was no food on Saturday) and as I said it just made me miserable. I don't know I think if I wanted to I could do a One Meal A Day style diet but man 24 hours without any food period just feels like punishment.

And I just don't think it makes sense to punish yourself while dieting. Ideally (in a sense at least) I think your weight loss diet should be very similar to the diet you want to keep once you've lost the weight. I can wake up happy to eat some sausage and eggs, I can't help but feel pissy if I only get to drink coffee.

As I said before some days I do eat very lightly (less than 1000 KCAL) and I'm good with that. I just can't imagine there being much more of a benefit if I ate nothing.

Being so fat that your arms barely reach the ground when you lie on your stomach doesn't count as a pushup, user.

believe it or don't. That's up to you. I got strong in the gym. I do enough physical activity to maintain muscle mass, but not enough, nor the right kind, to lose weight.

>I just can't imagine there being much more of a benefit if I ate nothing.

you'd be surprised

youtube.com/watch?v=5F5o0a4p_3U

I seriously want to see you do 10 pushups.

When I was 270 I couldn't even do 2.

>It's nobodies fault your fat

Oh I disagree. Parents are fucking awful at teaching their kids how to eat, and schools don't teach basic calorie counting and fill their lunches with calorie dense garbage, all right next to a corn syrup vending machine. Become an adult, and the rest of your life is the same damn shit where you have to go out of your way to not fall in to the heavily advertised, readily available, habit forming, super cheap world of shit-food.

God bless America.

>60-85.
How did no one catch onto this shit?

I do not believe for one second that your heart rate is ever 60. That is insane for the amount of weight you're carrying around. Mostly because you don't do any fucking exercise. How did you come to this conclusion? Because either you're lying to yourself, to us or I'm a stupid retard. I don't hasten to think the last

I was 270 a year and a half ago and when I went to the clinic to get my ears flushed from impacted wax my heartrate was 63. It stunned the nurse who took it, but it's definitely possible.

And now you're 350. Do you honestly still believe you have that HR? Because if you do, congratulations. You can, in theory, run half a marathon, if your muscles and joints could take it. You have one of the strongest hearts I have ever encountered. Which is to say, the likely hood that you are lying is far greater than the reality of a 60 resting HR at 350.

It's fucking insane for a 350 who does no cardio at all

I am very skeptical.

I'm not him, I probably should have clarified.

I weigh 185 now, still cutting but I'm almost there and I still do no cardio because my asthma makes it impossible.

Nurse may have fucked up. They don't give a shit. Kind of a moot point anyway since we know OP has issues with his image of how healthy he is. Not like getting him to admit his HR is different really fixes anything.

Gas mask tire flips
Rope climbing
Running through tough terrain
River Crossing
Carrying ammo tins

OP here
Wasn't me. There's a blood pressure and heart rate machine where I work. I check my vitals at least once a week.