Tfw the gym gypsies set up a camp next to the rowing machines and I need to beat them at dice whenever I want to use...

>Tfw the gym gypsies set up a camp next to the rowing machines and I need to beat them at dice whenever I want to use them

>gym mime called in sick
>no one to french press

>Miners set off explosive charges next to the weighted dip area
>can't max out or I'll risk falling into the canyon they created

>squat racks lube dispenser is empty
>have to ask the guy with the milky eye who just curls all day to spit on it

>breaker flipped and front desk girl refuses to unlock breaker box
>power rack inoperable

>tfw Xiuhtecuhtli, the Aztec god of fire, is using the cables and I have to sacrifice my firstborn to work in with him

>The gold panners in the water fountain area keep throwing their hats in the air and cheering every time they see a glinting object but go back to being disappointed when you tell them its just your keys

Dude just spit on your own damn plug.

>time to do rows
>dyel's fishing in gym lake
>have to work around them

>no squat rack valet

>tfw preacher bench is being used so I have to go to the rabbi rack instead

Kek

>go get some water between sets
>Squats, the gym cat, is sleeping on my bench

>gym is being sieged by the crossfit gym across the street
>siege goes on for a year and a half
>finally come to a truce and i'm allowed to go home
>can't fit through the front doors
>have to have the staff blast a hole in the wall
>the crossfitters didn't actually surrender
>they come in through the wall and it's a bloodbath
>some guy made a spear out of a barbell
>manage to kill the head crossfitter by making him clean and jerk lmao3pl8
>by the old world rules i am now owner of the crossfit gym
>turn it into a subway
>fuck working out i'm done with that shit

lolol

>Go to the gym's creek to wash off chalk
>get caught in the fisherman's resistance nets
>"You can work in. Grab a corner."
>they can't even pull out lmao1carp alone

>in the gym's unisex steam room
>the qt's see my wiener

...

>Gonna use the smith machine
>Occupied by a manlet forging a sword

smiled, nice one

>Gym buddy suggests Jefferson deadlifts.
>I'm a federalist

>tfw your gym gives free memberships to refugees to give them something to do
>you now have to lock away your stinky used sports shoes before showering
>sweat and garlic smell everywhere
>constantly break etiquette, never re-rack
>point and stare at girls in yoga pants

Thanks Merkel

You're not supposed to post stuff that actually happens

>got to use the squat rack
>forgot to bring my diddly

Kek. Underrated.

>tfw your blacksmith bro is forging plates on the smith machine

>bald
>can't do curls

Enjoyed

That was trash

>the law club has taken over my uni gym, now I need a judge's consent to approach the bench.

...

...

>tfw you realise its called french press because you raise your hands

>lmao1carp

pfffffftHAHAHAHA