You fuckers think you know fat hate? How often does a fatty really ruin your day? I'm a massage therapist...

You fuckers think you know fat hate? How often does a fatty really ruin your day? I'm a massage therapist. I know fat hate. Let me break down some highlights of my day for you:

>Go to get clients folder, see a cute girl in the waiting room
>She smiles at me, holy shit this could be a good day
>Call out clients name
>Mfw 400lbs of unwashed Pudge cosplay gets up instead
>Ugh. Take specimen to my room of personal hell for the next 1.5 hours
>I know she's ready when I no longer hear the sounds of intense struggling to lay on a fucking table through the door
>Begin kneading my hands through this putrid dough elemental
>Her hot cheese breath gravitates my way with every heave of her maw. I have to time my breathing to dodge it.
>Now begins the small talk. Usually they mention how they just did a triathlon or began "boot camp"
>She works in an office and says she walks "an average of 5 miles at day" at work
>Mfw every time I put pressure on her back I get a waft of rancid ass
>The whale starts moaning constantly
>Getting pissed now
>I move to her legs. There is black shit caked behind her knees she's never been able to wash
>Wtf her ankles look like crushed soda cans
>Begin working on her glutes, start questioning my life choices
>Alright time to turn over
>"Easy for you to say tee-hee" Every. Fucking. Time.
>Turning over is like an ancient trial to her people. One that many have tried and failed. The struggle is unreal.

Continued-->

Holy shit I want to hear more

>Completely out of breath, she barely makes it
>I begin working on her neck, but such intense movement has caused her to sweat profusely
>Mfw it mixes with my lotion, turning it to slime
>Moving on to arms...
>Wtf her hands smell like relish. Did she eat a fucking hotdog in the car on her way over?
>Alright time to work on her waffle stompers.
>They literally smell like shit. The mind goes to dark places.
>Her toenails, far beyond her reach, are twisted and gnarled with fungus
>Finally I finish up with her unwashed scalp, her dandruff decorating my black pants like stars in the night sky
>At last it is finished.
>She leaves half a normal tip and waddles off
>After she leaves I remove her essence from the room the best I can and proceed to my next client.

Dear god no...

>This one is even fatter. And it's a 2 hour massage.

I FUCKING HATE FATE PEOPLE

>"Easy for you to say tee-hee" Every. Fucking. Time.
top. fucking. zozzle. that is toooo good

>putrid dough elemental
>putrid dough elemental

Put me in the pic pls

Is it just like rubbing their fat around at that point? Can you even get to their muscles? What's the point?

MORE PLEASE OP

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Add me in the screenshot

It depends. There are different types of fatties. Such as:

1. Fat overly stressed nurses/teachers with backs hard as rocks

2. Lard ass office workers with the exact same tension in their glutes and shoulders

3. Complete blobs with no muscle mass and all fat that whine with the slightest pressure

4. THE MANCUBUS

Who gives a shit how much of a tip she left you greedy, entitled cunt. Aren't you paid by an employer?

>666
>posts picture of demon

IT'S LIKE POTTERY

Also, in the future could you make some posts about how Veeky Forumsizens can do some self-massage techniques to avoid snap city?

BUMP

Christ op, That's horrible. Do you get enough qts to make up for this shit?

I make $15 per massage and I don't get paid diddly squat when I'm not booked. Tips are a little over half my income.

This job is basically hard labor and about 90% of therapists move on in the first 3 years because of injury or the worthless income

It does beat flippin burgers tho.

THE FUCKING MADMAN

>Our savior from demons
>777

P O T T E R Y
O
T
T
E
R
Y

I fuck more employees than clients. Plenty of airhead hippy chicks. Too risky to flirt with clients. But I've gotten 3 numbers with my tips since I've started 6 years ago

Lol I was just on reddit and all I could think about was how much I missed Veeky Forums :')
I also hate fatties after witnessing the monstrous fatty mentality at my workplace. Obesity is a mental illness.

>work as a pharmacy technician
>see big pharma making bills off fattie Americans not using their fucking head and common sense
>cluster fuck of medications dispensed daily to combat fattie mentality... Cholesterol for eating too much bacon, diabeetus for chocolate, Xanax for being fat, anti depressants for being fat, opioids for their body aching in "pain" due to being fat, 3 or 4 other medications to combat the side effects of all the medications they take
>why.jpg
>mfw everyone that works at my pharmacy agrees that no drug is the best drug

Fuck all that shit and fuck fat people.

If it's not enough money then do something else, don't whine with your palm up about how people's generosity isn't enough for you like a spoiled child.

Jesus christ, those digits...

Hmm. That's tricky man. Honestly I've seen SO many clients with disc injuries from deadlifting that I stopped doing them myself.

They spooped me good.

>amerifats have shit tier minimum wage bro

Were they smart clients or dumb dumb ego lifters?

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this af

lost my shit

Honestly I think your career has a lot to do with it man. Most tension in the body is formed through either work or sleep posture over time. And the majority of snap city clients I've seen have been in the hard labor biz like construction and roofing

That's like worrying about getting a parking ticket after working as a traffic warden

Get back on the diddlys you stupid faggot

ITT: OP goes to hell and massages Mancubus. Hilarity ensues

shit, my mom is a massage therapist.
I never thought about having to massage fat people.

This explains a whole lot of stuff

A lot of ER doctors sell their motorcycles.

>See a fat homeless woman walking downtown
>Clearly suffering from mental issues; talking to her self
>Her sandal falls off
>She doesn't notice
>Young and liberal at the time, decide to help
>Pick up her filthy fucking hobo shoe with my bare hands
>"Ma'am you dropped this"
>"Blippa doopa zamma blamma ding dong (or some such gibberish) can you put it on for me?"
>"w-what?"
>"ah can't get it on maself zoppity toppity ping pang pong"
>Had not yet developed a thick, cynical crust which would permit me to reverse course and run in the opposite direction faster than any man had ever run before
>acquiesce to sense of obligation and inevitable shame if I refused to help her
>Put her filthy sandal on her filthy, crusty, elephant skin with dermatitis foot
>Get homeless person foot all over my hands
>"Oobity doobidy zippidy doo thank you son"
>She turns around
>Takes one step forward
>Sandal falls off
>God is dead

Never again.

>mancubus
Story plx

>Takes one step forward
>Sandal falls off
>God is dead

KEK

Doom=Digits
brb posting doom

>putrid dough elemental

fucking LOL mate

>Not taking the shower of your life before every massage you get.

I thought this was common sense. Do people really get massages while their body is gross? I mean, yeah I get giving fat people massages must suck, but do they seriously not clean their folds and shit?

I'd be too tempted to just grab their tits or something

Many MANY people decide they will shower after the massage because of the lotions/oils

Lucky us.

...

You know the queen used to be called Victoria.

only thing worse than a fat fuck is a trans fat fuck

I've never gotten a massage before

can I choose who does it? I don't want some guy rubbing oil on my body, I want a girl

Some shit you tip for you poor bastard.

Tell me... more

My 300 lb landwhale boss was talking about getting a massage the other day and I couldn't imagine how much that must suck for whoever has to do it ... oh and she's pregnant now too. Thanks for this insight OP and Godspeed

Yep you can ask for a female over the phone, just don't expect her to be attractive. Likely an average overweight mom.

Honestly I recommend just asking for the most experienced therapist. You'll prolly have to book it a week in advance but it will be waaay more worth your time and money.

and don't be a fagget bro. The guys there to do work not grab your dick.

Sez the non-tipping, tightass cheapskate. Make sure to check your food for loogies, Asshole.

Guys and old thai ladies give the best massages. Anyone else is shit-tier.

an old girl is fine, just not comfortable with a male touching my body

>400lbs of unwashed Pudge cosplay gets up
pls put me in screencap

because you know a man rubbing you down would give you an erection

nah I just want to enjoy it and I'd only enjoy a girl touching me

That's pretty insecure. Scared you'll pop a boner and catch a lifetime of confusion?

checked

no you fucking fags, enjoy having your ass rubbed by a man

I just don't like fat people. They made bad life choices.

The truth is though that other peoples choices rarely ever effect me. I just don't give a shit. go be a fat ass or gay or lesbian or transexual or whatever. I just don't give a shit about other people.

I'll enjoy having the gnarly knots in my shoulders rubbed out by the most capable hands available. Listen to op user.

...

Kinda hart to massage yourself. Because the trick is getting the muscles to a relaxed state, so you can influence them.

It is pretty hard to be totally relaxed, when you are reaching around your own body to massage.
Anyway massage is only a superficial therapy method, and won't decrease your likelyhood of a trip to snap city ( where the girls aren't mirin, and the recovery ain't pretty ).

Just hire a hooker if you want a "massage".

>Lol I was just on reddit and all I could think about was how much I missed Veeky Forums :')
Wow, you almost got me. The bait´s getting better by the day.

Why am I eating day old mac and cheese while reading this thread

Fucking fuck op you poor bastard

Yeah, I tasted day-old mac n cheese too when reading this thread.

OPs client

>mfw OP has to squeeze his hands through a massive surface riddled with disease and a massive layer of grease
>REGULARLY

>don't ignore me you rancid swine

Ah yes the best way to win any woman's heart

>Her hot cheese breath gravitates my way with every heave of her maw.

...

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ITT: Reddit

>>amerifats have shit tier minimum wage bro
How does it feel to be enriched by Ahmed's circumcised cock, europoor? Don't ever forget your not American.

i dont live in murrifat so i dont have to deal with this tipping shit but srsly i hope youll get spit jizz and shit on your food when you go out to eat when you get allowance from your parents

these people do shit jobs and their pay is mostly from tips and you jew fucks feel like they dont deserve to get paid unless they suck your dick and kneel in front of you calling you their king

especially in op's case these fatties should know they are more work and they should pay more tip even if they dont get the best customer service they have had

What you think about foam rolling?

>putrid dough elemental

works really well for glutes and IT band.

bout it tho :\

Ahmed? Where?
I've lived in both the U.S. and Europe and I find Europe to be much better than the States except that the U.S. is more fun to people watch in

>NEET detected

> 3 numbers
> 6 years

definitely a closet homosexual

nigger I don't get massages for the comfy feeling but for the medical side of it. I'm straight as an arrow myself but I need the strongest motherfucker they have to just BEAT the knots out of me. getting a deep tissue massage by girl hands feels like sitting on legos at best.

>pays 50% income tax
>pays 30% sales tax
>pays mandatory jizya
>no churches Christianity is illegal
>wife sleeps with big cut cock Arabs all day
>have to go online to make fun of American and Canadians because there's nothing better to do in Europe but get cucked by Ahmed

This would be funny if it wasn't so true.

Where I live is mainly white British (although I'm seeing more ethnics and foreigners every week) but when I venture into London it's a whole different country. London, the Midlands, most of Manchester, Bradford, Burnley, Bolton, Blackburn, Luton are Islamic hell holes. Going to East London is like stepping foot in downtown Islamabad, only with more Pakis.

When I go to Leyton Orient to watch football it's like a Paki area of Warsaw with a sprinkling of Africa for good measure.

I got date raped by a fat chick one time.

>be at random party with friends
>had a slight buzz before
>remember drinking 1 beer maybe 2 while I'm there
>blackout
>wut
>all of a sudden I'm popping back and out of consciousness like a dream
>every time I pop back I'm eating out a vag
>getting my dick sucked in a hot tub
>having a cigarette with my arm around a 150lb chick
>wake up in the morning
>what the fuck happened last night
>start remembering slowly the tiny glimpses of consciousness
>wtf.png
>see the chick in the kitchen in the morning
>cute face but still fat
>gives me an awkward smile
>leave with friends
>mfw I realize later what happened
>mfw nobody believes that I literally got date raped by a fat chick and think that I'm just trying to cover up the shame.

maybe she was like 180lbs I'm not really good at guessing weight.

Tips are for exceptional service.
Op managing to complete the massage without getting dropped into the Rancor pit counts as exceptional.

Thank you for giving me the gift of laughter.

Kekaroo

The last part... OP thx so much for letting this fag laugh at your life.

>Go to a massage place with my buddy
>He keeps going on about how he wants a hot chick while I couldn't give a stuff, just wanna feel relaxed
>I end up getting the chick while he gets some dude
:^)

I'm with you senpai. Americucks are fucking stupid. Muh free economislam has led to them allowing themselves to get cucked by corporations and they're too fucking weak and stupid to realise the whole point of a government is to look after those who vote for it. The fact you have entire professions (waitressing etc) which heavily rely on strangers' generosity just for a person to survive is the pinnacle of fucking retarded. Living minimum wage when?

>homeless
>still fat
You wot son?

>pop a boner and catch a lifetime of confusion
Kek

>living in a country where you can safely rely on the goodwill of your fellow citizens for your very livelihood
>living in a socialist hell hole and giving most of your paycheck to Muslims who abuse your social services and hate you

I bet you vote labour.

If they don't get paid enough they should quit or demand a pay rise. If I'm paying for a massage I want to know the rate without having to guess the socially acceptable amount of money to pay them to placate their angst at their boss not paying them enough. The problem's not with the tips, the problem is that they have a shit job. Why the fuck am i supposed to fund someone elses life?

your suffering gave me a good chuckle thanks user nice thread.

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What the fuck? Why not just do both? I wash the shit out of my scalp before a haircut even, then I go home and shower after anyways to get the hair off. It's exactly the same if they have any semblance of decency.