How many calories are in the average shit...

How many calories are in the average shit? How am I supposed to track calories and make gains if I keep shitting them out?

did you seriously just ask that question

Not OP but I've been seriously wondering this. Does your body actually use 100% of the calories? I take some fairly massive shits, surely my body can't use everything in such short time periods between shits

>Not eating your own shit for calories

Woo lad It's like you don't want to make gains

350 cals per shit

about 50 for your average turd, maybe 70 if you push out plump loaf.

I normally eat my shit once (I do not eat the second generation shits)

plump loaf

Most of it wouldn't be usable calories. Most of your shit is gut bacteria feeding off your food plus insoluble fiber and stuff like that.

How do you tell the difference between first gen and second gen shits? Do you not eat any other food after you eat your first shit, until you shit that shit out? If I eat other food after I eat first gen shit but before i poop out second gen shit, will I not be wasting calories?

I'm trying to bulk, want as many calories as possible.

It depends

No

>Baer found the usual calorie count given for pistachios was probably too high, about 5 percent more than the actual energy in the nuts. Almonds were off by about 20 percent.

>Baer thinks that the discrepancy happens because of the indigestible fiber in the nut cell walls traps the fat

Hold in your shits for as long as possible so all the nutrients are absorbed

Man I was just thinking about this. Most /fit fags say count all calories and your body uses them all. Ok well then shit must be calorie free. Also am I operating at 100% efficiency if I only shit once every 5 days now that I am cutting? I mean I ate 2 pork chops and a 12oz steak and only shit a little pebble. What gives

>shit once every 5 days
what the fuck is your calorie deficit? thats unhealthy

This.

If my rectum cant retain the tension and starts leaking shit after like 8-9 days I take a sturdy ramrod designed for small cannons of the bridges of lineships to condense it right back into my smuthole so I get all the nutrients and gainz.

Dont wanna end up as a scurvy dyel

Serious question tho, how often should I shit? I've been shitting 1-2 times a day for years. Is that optimal?

No.

Optimal is one dense shit every 1-2 days.

Hold it a bit so it gets dense. Also it should be so dry that you only need to wipe once.

You don't need to account for the lost calories because it's assumed you are eating the shit. This is covered in the sticky.

Place a radioactive isotope tracker in the first generation shit, then consume. When you shit out the tracker that's when you've got yourself a second generation shit. This method allows you to eat continuously while tracking shit generations and additional data such as fecal throughput rate and consistency

>le funny fecies jokes xDDD

kys

Only like 1000cal deficit

you made this thread because you wanted this comic but didn't want to just make a thread asking for it didn't you OP?

You are fucking retarded
Calories are based on the energy that a person without digestive issues can take from a food.
It accounts for shitting.

Haha xD nice!!

t.Redditor trying to fit in

Kek

Shit is stuff that hasn't been absorbed by your body, it could probably contain macros that your body needs but couldn't process at the time(you at a lot of protein for example) so your body has to get rid of it.

So if you a lot of protein and took a dump a few hours later, that shit has probably a lot of protein in it. Eat it.