So Veeky Forums, I made a thread last night about the new routine I made, due to lack of useful results on google...

If you are smart enough to know that you are missing those exercises then how are you not smart enough to know that without them and spending no time on diet you will achieve shit tier gains????

Again, suck dick, it is the only way.

Well I have never in my life read that those 3 exercises are the only way to achieve gains.

Also I have never used a diet and im skinny. And I eat like a pig

Any Idea of what could I use as weights for OHP, bench press and deadlifts? All I have found is some Glass bottles filled wiht water that I used for reverse flys, but they only weight 3 lbs, so they seem useless

Not only way, but without them you are setting yourself up for a shit start, and without proper dieting and nutrition you can kiss gains goodbye.

Also if you are skinny despite eating like a pig, why would you do 1 hour of cardio after every workout????? if you want gains you need to gain weight and eat more????

Well......Dont know In the previous thread i made they said that I should do it. Again, any idea what I could use as weights?

> I eat 4 slices of pizza for dinner after skipping breakfast and I eat a lunch too!
>XD I eat like a pig and never gain weight!!!

I'll give you a hint user. No.

Dude.... glass bottles???

Finding ways to do these exercises without the correct equipment is quite hard. And if glass bottles are your substitution for dumbbells you probably should focus on getting a job or something instead of lifting

No dude, no.....its not like that......

What I meant is that i eat breakfast, lunch and dinner like a normal person, but I eat a lot between meals. I get hungry 10 minutes after eating

If you're skinny, you don't eat a lot. Claiming otherwise is just as bad as fat people saying they don't eat a lot.

Look up Venezeula, thats were I live. Look up the economic situation here. Maybe you will be able to understand why is this so hard

I do tho..... I am hungry all the time, so I just go and eat anythng that I can find.

enjoy your no gains

>hey user can you give me advice?
>here's the workout plan i created for myself based on nothing
>no, i'm not going to change it
>don't worry about diet, im a skeleton piece of shit and can eat a TON!
>why would i do weight exercises to get bigger?
>why would i spend money on a gym to get bigger, when i want to get bigger?
>why would i consider following a diet to get bigger, when i'm a skeleton piece of shit?
>i told you guys, i eat a ton.
>but im a skeleton
>but i won't change anything

can you start to see why nobody in your life likes you, user?

Ohhh you come from that shit hole?

I still think you have better things to worry about than getting gains if you can't afford a gym membership. But here are some basics.

>Calories in - Calories out
Make sure you eat more than you burn so you gain weight, count calories if you can, force that food into you.

>Stop the cardio
If you are already skinny and have no gains, you shouldn't burn even more calories doing cardio

>Lift heavy, try to get a hold of some iron pipe or something that could resemble a barbell, use that for deadlifs, bench and OHP

> retard bro split with bodyweight shit
> not gonna make it brah

Seriously you ignored all the advice in the other thread. Just fuck off and do what you fucking want to do and stop asking for help

I'll give you my breakfast lunch dinner and snacks
>breakfast: 3 fried eggs, 4 slices of bacon, 3 biscuits, black coffee
>snack: protein shake
>lunch: 8 oz of 93/7 beef and spaghetti noodles (obviously with spaghetti sauce)
>snack: Greek yogurt and oats
>dinner: could be anything to close protein gap for day. Last night it was 4 tuna rolls.

count your calories. you sound like me when i was skinny and in denial

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND, In the fucking OP I said that this the changed version of the routine, so yeah, im changing it. Also I did not say im not doing weights, I just said that i have to find something to lift, and its going to be hard.

Thanks you, thats all i was asking for.

>ignore the rest of the criticism.
get a fucking bucket and fill it with cement.

>~2k cals
Skelly faggot

ILL TRY to diet and to count calories, byt as i said before, i live in Venezuela, A.K.A deepest shithole I have ever seen. So, often, we have to eat what we egt, we cant be that picky.

Wait, so i just told you that my country is in crisis and you fucking dare to say that i should get a gym membership?

OP here

So acording to this thread, this is the solution

>Diet, count calories if possible
>LIFT, LIFT FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE
>Atempt to get a gym membership
>Eat more IF POSSIBLE
>No need for cardio

And thats about it, anything else?

Startbodyweight dot com. Do the routine AS IS. NO TAMPERING.

Drop the cardio to Tuesday and Thursday only, you skeleton

COUNT CALORIES

EAT MORE FOOD

if you post on an english speaking website, you're assumed to live in a non shithole.

you're arguing with every person giving you advice and not listening to the facts of how to get bigger (eat big, lift weights)

you're calling every person who gives you advice that doesn't apply to poor faggots an asshole.

you won't adapt the typical routines to your situation (lift rocks, mud, cement, stones, cases of bullets, etc).

you're a childish spic retard, and you're never gonna make it.

Is this accurate?

there is no "if possible". these are FACTS.

So, after I told you im not american you still think im american? The reason I argue with everyone is that even tho some of the advice is perfect for me, some of it seems adapted only for americans. Also I didnt call EVERYONE a faggot, and im trying to adapt to the routines you guys give me, but its hard, you would know if you lived here.

OP here, so agian, ALL I have to do is: drop the cardio, eat more, WAY MORE, and start to lift.

Is that it or am I missing something?

nah mate it's crystal clear that you're a dumb brown person now.

And why is that? Do I have to be american?

>aesthetics and strength
>american privilege
Fuck Yea Boi

Well shit

people who are serious about a goal find a way to make it happen.

all you're doing is making excuses.

Im not dumb, I can speak Engrish

OP here.

Ill eventualy find something to lift, and eating more I also can find someway to do it. JUST ONE DAMM QUESTION. What can I use to lift? You guys have any Ideas?

Also, im starting from scratch, im 170cm tall, and weight 58Kg, so im basiclly a skeleton, and a manlet.

Not a problem, just wanted to let you guys know, if it works for something

This is how its looking so far, acording to this thread, any other ideas?

This

If you want to, you'll find a way to.

If you don't want to, you'll find an excuse not to.

cement dumbbells and barbells.

fill an empty container with cement. stick a pipe in one end. do the same on the other end.

start with small containers like soda bottles

move to big containers like buckets

80lb bag of cement costs a few dollars.

good luck brownie.

Ok thanks, any other ideas?

So to anyone still on the thread, some details that could be useful

1. 1 dollar here is 3 months of work
2. Good thing is I have a pull up bar, If i fill 2 bags of something heavy, maybe that could work, what do you guys think?

So Veeky Forums, this is what i made. Just gonna fill the bag with heavy stuff.

Go fucking steal a dollar then. Or sell something from your room..

also, does powerlifting stunt growth? Google says No but my doctor says yes

How old are you? Focus on proper form and you'll actually have better posture than a lot of peers.

weightlifting may be more effective than other forms of exercise in promoting bone growth and density among adolescents.

Im a teen, lets leave it at that,

Not a kid either tho

explains why you're a stubborn moron.

go read the /bwg/ thread

Ok tell me, why am I stubborn. Several times i have said that im going to try to find something to lift, thatim going to attempt to diet, and that im gonna do changes in my routine. TELL ME WHY AM I STUBBORN

You won't be, you get out what you put in. You're putting in nothing.

May ask what do you mean?

>1 dollar here is 3 months of work
And? How much does rent, internet, and weekly groceries cost for you? After all of that, whats left?
>Pull ups with added weight
yea thats good. Thats what you're supposed to do.

at least buy a pair of dumbbells so you can at least pretend you're exercising

I didnt meant pull ups with added weights, i meant to make something to lift out of a pull up bar and 2 bags full of heavy stuff
s

>1 dollar is 3 months of work
where the fuck do you live? mozambique?

OP is 14 living in huehuehue land.

He thinks lifting his bookbag full of "heavy things" will make him stronger.

He thinks he eats "a ton" during the day, despite weighing 120lbs.

OP will not listen to advice.

he most likely does not know how much workers actually make since he is a teen and not at work right now. And also he most definitely does not know the value of the dollar compared to his country's monetary value.

well, do pull ups with added weight.

Read the whole thread

>I'm poor
>I eat like a king though

Yes i do, if you want to luck it up, i live in Venezuela

You say that i dont listen to advice despite you not giving any.

Never said poor,

My gym costs me $10 a week i work 40 hours a week so that is less half an hour i have to work to pay for it.
If you can't afford to go to the gym then you can't afford to workout. Your poverty bodyweight routine will give minimal to zero results.

>Everyone in my country makes 1 dollar in 3 months
>no one here is heavier than me

i cant take this anymore. If you are trolling, then great job. If not, then you can go fuck yourself

>Never said poor
Cant afford gym or equipment

.... tell us why you can't afford to get a gym membership but somehow you eat like a king and aren't poor? This whole situation is so confusing, its like im talking to a child

Never said that

you might want to forget about working out and just go to school you dumb fuck. holy shit this guy

>it takes 3 months to make 1 dollar here
>im not poor
>I can't afford a gym membership
>i eat a ton of food

wtf?

Use 20 liter water jars as dumbells, adjust the amount of water.

Ok, lets sum it up.

I eat plenty, but not like a king

Im skinny

I cant afford a gym, or dumbells

Used to go to swiming classes, but cant go anymore due to sickness.

Can afford food, but te minimal wage here is shit compared to the prices of food due to inflation.

So we paid, but after paying bills and going to the market, we barely have anything to spare

For you to have an idea, in order to get 100$, you would need to save for 5 years.

So the only thing i can do, is to attempt to make something to lift.

Often, we eat what we get, we cant be picky like you americans.

And thats about it

I only make this thread in order to see if i was doing this alright. You guys said no, so i asked how to make things here at home. And since I said that i cant do some stuff due to limitation in my country, you say that I dont listen to advice.
That was the kind of answers that I was looking for.

we get paid*, sorry for bad English

you don't need us to figure out how to add weight onto objects you dumb shit. Go outside and fuckin squat a big ass rock. Like everyone else has stated here, you are just making excuses.

you were told 10 fucking times get some cement and make dumbbells you mongoloid

then you come back with "okay i'll lift a heavy school bag"

also report for

do you think i can get fucking cement. If i could i would

YOU KEEP TELLING ME TO DO THE SAME FUCKING THING OVER AND OVER EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TOLD YOU THAT I CANT DO IT

NO I CANT GET FUCKING CEMENT

NO I DONT HAVE A FUCKING BIG ROCK

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO USE AS WEIGHTS, BUT I CANT USE CEMENT

IS THE ONLY FUCKING THING THAT I CAN USE IS CEMENT?

If i had the means to d it, i would have done it alredy. The reason why i made this is beacuse im out of ideas. If i ould use cement i would use it. If i could go to the gym i would go to the gym. Ever thougth about that?

youtu.be/kAgmG2CVnIo?t=6m48s

use babes op

There are sooo many options that you have given me. The problem is that some of those only peaple from countries that are in good situations. My country is a soup of shit, mixed with vomit and some semen as a spice. So there is some stuff that I cant do. Im sorry if i came out as bitchy or inmature, but there are some limitations here. Thanks to everyone.

The problem is that some of those can only be done from peaple form good countries. Again, sorry for bad English

>I do tho..... I am hungry all the time, so I just go and eat anythng that I can find
Along with everything else you are doing that is your problem. When i buy food i plan my meals i buy enough food to last six or seven meals a week i never just eat whatever i can find, everything i eat has a purpose.

look, if you can't afford to work out then you really shouldn't be worried about working out.... thats just the sad truth. If you have no money, then you really can't do anything but try to make money

The effort you put into fitness will be what determines the results you get out. Your program puts in no effort. By the looks of this thread, you're putting in no effort. So there will be no results.

I don't think that's enough volume if you're trying to gain mass through only calisthenics. There's really no reason for you to split it into U/L, and a separate day for abs.
Full body 3-4x a week
Push ups 8x25
Chair dips seems redundant when you're already doing push ups
Chin ups 4x w/e your working range would be, 1xfailure, get some bicep work, negligible difference in lat activation
Reverse flies are ok, you probably don't have a way of progressing them though
Do w/e you want for legs, but you should balance out glute and quad work, consider step ups instead of bodyweight squats, or look up harder variations online
Ab work at the end
Can superset pushups/chin ups, squats with bridges if time is an issue

Get gymnastic rings to attach to your pullup bar if you're serious about this, will let you do dip and row variations