Be me, lifting for girls like most of this board

>implying I can ever use standard condoms with my 6.4" base girth
fucking dicklets have it literally on easy mode

>too embarrassed to buy one because I live with my family
>they'll find where I might hide it eventually

>lifting for girls like most of this board
New to this board, if this is true you guys are pathetic as fuck.

shit I'm only 6" girth and condoms are a bit tight.
also
to
op

fleshlights make females useless.
they're only good for their pussy, and in some cases money.

I really want to get the autoblow, pop a viagra, lay on my bed, and use my box theater pic related, and let it suck my dick until the battery dies.

>tfw I ordered that exact one but they kept fucking me over
>tfw none in stock
>tfw me a pathetic yuropean will never try the alien fleshlight

i have one too user. mines not alien tho

why the fuck would you get an alien fleshlight?

whats the price of an autoblow

>6.25inch dick
>5inch girth

Am I fucked?

me too bro. ive never had any complaints and girls seem to enjoy it.

That what I have. Never had an issue. People grossly exaggerate dick size online. .05% of the population has an 8" cock in the real world, 80% of 4cyan user claim to have one.

Good, now only if I could get rid of my recent irrational fear of intimacy I could start getting laid again.

I've unironically got an 8x6 but it still mostly fits inside my Japanese onahole

>be 6.25x6 bone pressed
>let gf measure my dick
>she starts half way down my balls
>"omg babe your dick is 8 fucking inches!!"
>t-thanks

How is the onahole? I'm 5.5 girth wise, and most sleeves are not as snug as I would like.

>price of an autoblow
It's on sale for $160 right now

>tfw dicklet chink

>Just don't cum in it, that's nasty.
i have a stu, takes 10seconds to clean what you on about

its using non water based lube thats a cunt to clean

There are thousands of people on Veeky Forums tho, statistically some of them actually have 8" dicks, it just seems like 80% of people on Veeky Forums have huge dicks because anons with small/average sized dicks are less likely to make posts about their dick size

Cumming inside onaholes/an actual person's holes feels amazing tho, what's the point of fucking something if you're just going to have to pull out and jerk off with your hand when you cum?

Jacking off did not fuck up your dick you just have a curved dick like many guys.

>my friend let me borrow his

user that is disgusting

I had one. It was great for the first month, then it lost its elasticity. I wasn't horrible but it was a far cry from what it was originally.

>Not having one of these

>western garbage

buy a fucking onahole like a real man. it's cheaper and better

>Have an onahole
>after using it about 10-15 times the end is breaking up from going balls deep
Fuck.

Using one exclusively along with moisturizing 3-5 times a day with quality lotion or coconut oil will being back sensitivity.

>tfw not long enough for the nubs

Why are you using non water based lube? It degrades them faster

whats a good electric shaver i could use for my legs and pubes
philps,gillette, or etc?

Dick curves are normal and everyone has it to a degree. Sensitivity is definitely a masturbation issue and it will help

one time mistake never again

I just masturbate into a condom. Is that weird?

where at?

This is why woman can't be trusted

On a side note - what's the best tenga egg?

There's no way it's that good. Although, that alien one looks freaky.

Is that from Bad Dragon?

I don't lift for girls, I do it because I legitimately have fun doing it and enjoy the feeling it gives me when I lift heavy (for me, I'm a noob) weights. I already feel like a piece of shit, I don't think I want to buy one of those and feel worse due to the stigma attached.

autoblow2.com

should i get one? i havent gotten blown in over a year

Over a year? Yeah m8, you owe it to yourself. You should post a review, too.

fuck the eggs. get the 3d series or air tech nigga

But I don't have a lot of space or money

Do you guys not feel shame?

they're like 20-30 bucks a piece bro, and they flip out so they're easily washable.

they sellem on amazon. do it fagget

amazon.com/Tenga-Reusable-Vacuum-Masturbation-Regular/dp/B014KT92TQ?th=1

I honestly thought it was a complete waste of money. I used it maybe 5 times and went back to my fleshlight.

n-no

>implying Veeky Forums isn't just around a dozen people talking to themselves in multiple personalities

where do you think we are?

Havent felt that in a while.

I have. Fleshlights are extremely overhyped and don't cpmpare to real pussy in the slightest.

>lifting for girls like most of this board

They just seem disgusting
>sticking your dick in a bacteria pocket

>bacteria pocket
thats pretty much what regular pussy is. not defending OP just saying that sex toy is probably cleaner than the average vagina

Interesting point. Bring on the flashlight
Would bang /10

every waking moment. this shit is all i get.

for jackin it? no lol

they're actually simple to clean its open at both ends man

>bought cheap fleshlight-type thing off aliexpress
>starts splitting during first use
>nut like you can't believe
>tfw it finally split in half today

now I'll have to wait another 4 weeks for the next one.

My parents raised me to be a beta. Maybe it's in my genetics too. My personality is shit but at least I look good and get pussy, even if I have to fake being an alpha male.

>This board
>lifting for grills

>blaming parents
Just as a beta should. Good job.

I just bought an onahole from J-list the other day.
Hopefully I get it in a few days, I'm pretty excited.
Still lift for waifu though.

Are you retarded?

How big Chang?

I think I need a better one. My friend bought me this shitty bible black one from his trip to Japan and it was just way too soft, could barely feel any of the folds or anything. Is there like a grade for rigidity or tightness or something? lol

Because it's not the real thing. I want to eat pussy and ass and get my dick blown. I want to suck titties and french kiss. A plastic vagina doesn't hold up to it. Besides, after I've fucked a girl I feel great about myself, like I'm in a state of bliss because I've managed to conquer a girl. Especially if the girl was really good looking or hard to trick my dick into. It's like when you finally beat a really hard level in a video game.

Also I used to have a fleshlight but it wasn't very good compared to just jacking off. And I threw it away because if I die I don't want my parents to clean out my home and find it.

What sleeve is tight, but also won't fall apart? I want to imagine I'm getting the poon I never did in HS

I want to come home from working out in the woods, or from a hard day.
Take out my fleshlight and sink all 9x6 inches balls deep as hard and as fast as possible. No shower, no foreplay no bullshit.
I want to spend the better part of an hour pounding away in it, edging, getting multiple orgasms. I want to see if I can slam my head board through the wall by tucking it between the mattresses and pounding it as hard as possible.
I then want to let out a loud triumphant yet agonized yell as I drain what feels like a lifetime of hot cum in it, and pump into it with each spurt.
I then want to roll over tired sweating exhausted and go make a pizza from scratch while buck fucking naked then turn on the tv, my trusty xbox and start playing
halo on legendary.

user
do you want me do reinvigorate your libido through hard yet tender lovemaking?

>implying its not just me and you

thats why western products are better, bc we dont have chink dicks

Tenga flip is an awful product. Tenga seems incapable of making truly reusable toys, which means the silicone will quickly degrade, no matter how gently you handle and clean it. I'm a big guy (4 U) and every Tenga product I've tried except for the egg has been uncomfortably tight. The plastic hinge is poorly constructed and will snap from being work-hardened; this could be easily remedied by thickening the hinge or putting aluminum clips on it. The plastic "holster" is very delicate and cracks pretty quickly. Finally, the seal on the edges fails in time, splattering you with lube and goober juice.

I don't quite know why I wrote a friggin' essay about the problems I encountered with the Tenga Flip, but maybe I'll make you think twice about paying $60 for this meme sextoy.

Is it just me that noticed that if I wank and get close to cumming then start doing pullups I can get myself to cum from doing pullups

>implying it's not just you and AI
that's exactly what AI would say to take away suspicion that it's AI. And then it would comment how it's exactly what it would say. And then it would comment how it would comment how it's exactly what it would say. And then...

And then the AI would call you a faggot.

or space money. Those things sound like some alien shit

You're faggot, user

Kek, my gf can orgasm from doing sit-ups really fast, dunno about pull-ups tho

[Abort ShitPostBot.exe]

You know you can have both things, right?

Fleshlights are pretty good, but they reduce diameter too much on the handle portion for honestly big penises. The insert feels better out of the shell when I want to go hard because no matter how much lube it squeezes the shit out of my glans going deep in the shell.

Should have just bought this, man.

5in, 5.5 MAX